I shouldn't be here. It's too... too...

Cheerful, he supposed. Yes, the Graceful Charity Op Shop was a cheerful sort of thing. Actually, make that cheerful and loud. Cheerful, loud, and situated right across the freaking road from the wreck of the Black Clown. But never mind the last one.

Otogi stood in the doorway a while, letting his eyes adjust. It wasn't anything dramatic, he reassured himself - no angsting here. Not now. The colours in this place were just somewhere beyond loud, tending right into violent territory. See, someone had painted it a rather optimistic shade of lemon on the inside and outside, with cyan carpet and shelving, which didn't do any of the framed prints they were trying to sell any favours. In keeping with the color scheme, a blue cage had been placed just outside the door, rather helpfully labelled: PLEASE DON'T GIVE US MORE DONATIONS, WE HAVE ENOUGH. Rude. Yellow banners flapped violently out the front, one of which had fallen over and was rolling back and forth on the road. Noisy, just to add to all the loud. And not Otogi's job to pick it up, though he had to wonder when the lone staff member planned to retrieve it.

Blue, yellow, blue, yellow. Everywhere he looked, there was yellow and blue - mugs, boxes, whatever the volunteers could find, piled onto otherwise ordinary bits of furniture. And they had a lot of furniture, with four and three and two-and-a-half legs; actually, they just had a lot of stuff. The place was surely a warehouse at some point in its life, flogging everything from novelty mugs to books to chairs with suspicious stains. Everything covered in blue and yellow, of course. Definitely not the colours he would have picked, but then again, it wasn't Otogi's place to decide - not his shop. Not that he had any shop. His shop didn't particularly resemble a shop anymore.

Stop that. Stop that, now.

It had been enough time, surely. He could get past this, and on with what he needed to do here. He would get past this. After all, he already had his back turned to what was outside. And he also wasn't thinking about that, he was moving right along.

Otogi did a quick circuit of the place; not too fast, not too slow. It was a big place, so there was plenty to to be uncovered, plenty to distract; the best places to be alone, the best blind spots in the cameras, and to make himself look slightly less suspicious, the best bargains. The phones that they thought were broken, but could be fixed in a couple of hours with a good computer and a USB cable. An old-timey film camera in an eighty-dollar bag, snuggled on a shelf behind the counter - that might be worth looking twice at, if they still had the film to go with it. Maybe they had some ancient, out-of-print volume lurking on those shelves. And the books weren't so close to the staff, and perhaps offered a better view of what he was here for.

Yes. He'd just go over there, and check for the security cameras. Easy enough to do, right? Read some book, perhaps some dull-yet-relevant number on cryptocurrency or cryptids or just anything with crypt in the name, then glance up at the most opportune moments. Pose in a way that was definitely very fashionable, but not too spyish. Get the numbers of the cameras quickly, get the blind spots, get out with nobody any the wiser. A perfect-

He was caught up in his own imaginings, and didn't even realize it until right about now - when his foot caught on a delightful pea-green number. Quite a substantial couch, one of those big heavy winged-backs that could probably crush him. It creaked a very subtle threat as it teetered- not quite going over, not quite alerting the solo staff member to Otogi. Above him, he could see that the lone camera was turned away - nobody would even know, so long as he was careful. So he just smiled, and backed away, letting the couch settle back into its position while he- oh.

Oh, shit.

There was a table here, with... two legs? A vase? Or was it a jug? He couldn't really see, given it was mostly behind him and totally being knocked over. And knocking everything else over while it was at it, from the sound of that! And- that sounded like something breaking, actually a lot breaking. Otogi wasn't going to be responsible for that! Or that! Or any of that!

As he stood there, trying to decide on the best possible excuse to escape everything, in came Mr. Solo the staff member, brandishing one of the banners from outside like it was some kind of spear. "Hey! What's going on?"

What do you think's going on? Otogi almost said it out loud, but he had bigger problems, like potentially getting killed by a falling adorable pink sewing cabinet (with little hearts all over it, because of course). Like a bull trying to escape a junk sale that consisted mostly of teacups, vases, and deadly pieces of furniture, he vaulted the nearest convenient dresser, upsetting it thoroughly in the process, and sprinted in the first available 'away' direction from the ongoing domino effect. Everything was smashing into everything else behind him and breaking as well, and frankly he wanted no responsibility in the matter. "Help! Earthquake!" he yelled, for the sake of having some excuse not to pay anyone any money.

"I'll save you!" The veritable giant rushed across the shop, and then he- tossed the banner at the trainwreck? Just what did he think that was going to accomplish- Otogi threw himself to the ground, and the heavy metal pole the banner was attached to blew right past his head, sinking into a sideboard with a great thunk. Why people with giant muscles always had to be so physical and not just get out of of the way, Otogi had no idea. Still, at least the thing was no longer about to fall on top of him, so he supposed he should be grateful.

"Hey! Not so close!" he shrieked. Very grateful.

"Sorry!" the guy yelled, like that was going to help at all, and rushed past Otogi to do battle with a bookshelf. Bizarrely, he seemed to be winning. What was it with overly physical people being overly... physical? "Wow, what a quake! I haven't seen one like that since... last week!"

Maybe if half the furniture didn't have three legs, Otogi's brain began, but like hell was he going to say any of that little rant to a man who could probably snap him in half without even trying. Besides, it seemed he might actually get away with it, if he just kept his mouth shut. Otogi wasn't one for stereotypes, of course he wasn't, he would never - but this guy, with his bulging muscles, tiny apron that didn't leave much to the imagination, and hippie ponytail certainly appeared to be a complete idiot. It wasn't a stereotype if it was all true, right?

Anyway, it would look less suspicious if he remained casual. If it had really just been an earthquake, it wasn't like he'd do anything differently now it was over. And he still had more to do here - more to see, more places to note down, more blind spots to count. If he backed out now, he'd just have to do it all over again later.

"It certainly was an earthquake," Otogi repeated, a little out of breath now, and continued his path around the shop. The bookshelves were out of the question, since the giant was wrestling the most mundane of things in that area, so he instead completed his circuit with a brief inspection of the toys. They were tucked up in a back corner near the staff-room's door, like some kind of secret play stash, but oh- disappointments aplenty! A veritable smorgsaboard of absolute disappointment! Not a trading card in sight, and the complexity of the board games didn't seem to get beyond Snakes and Ladders. Some cards, but like... actual playing cards. Things that had liquids of unknown origin all over them, some strange things in test tubes (aliens? Were they meant to be aliens?), a foul-smelling tub marked only 'SLIMES' and some incredibly uncanny toys known as 'MINIONS'. Oh, and several plastic torture instruments to rival the sort of things Yami Marik liked to play with.

All in all: Yikes.

Jeez, is there anything even worth buying in this shop? Otogi wondered - and chose to ignore his own rebuttal. Why yes, he was indeed headed for the changerooms with a handful of clothing. Probably wouldn't fit him, anyway. He was only giving it a chance because it just... looked like the sort of style he wouldn't mind wearing. Even if it didn't quite fit him and totally wasn't worth buying, he would probably go through with it - that was thrift shops for you. That and of course, he might be able to get some sort of camera viewing opportunity from the changerooms; one never knew, but since he'd lost his opportunity with the bookshelves, it'd be nice to find out from this vantage point instead.

Still, Otogi hesitated before he went inside, just in case someone was coming after him about the furniture incident. It wouldn't do at all to get yelled at the with his pants literally down. And... nothing. Nope. Well, good thing the only other person here seemed to be that enormous man. Someone with more brain cells might have actually noticed what had happened, or at least asked Otogi about it, instead of blaming it all on an earthquake he couldn't have felt. That kind of blind following could be useful in the future, come to think of it; Otogi made a mental note. Who knew, maybe the guy could be somewhat useful in his plans.

Anyway, no threats, so into the changerooms he went. Hello, privacy- oh! Hello, illegal camera placement. He squinted at the black box, and watched his reflection squint back. Yep, definitely illegal camera placement. The sort of thing he'd have been more concerned by once upon a pre-Domino City time, but he currently lived in a world where people tried to destroy it all on the daily. A few badly placed cameras in the Graceful Charity really weren't the worst thing. Curious, of course, it'd be rather nice to know whose fault it was, but - well, couldn't be helped right now.

Still, not something he wanted framed on some little old lady's desk. (Or anyone's desk, really, but the typical managers of these places were usually little old ladies, at least in Otogi's experience. Best to avoid the outcome, in any case.) A different stall offered a better view, or rather a lack of one; the top of the metal rail just blocked the camera's lens, so hopefully that would be enough. Time to try on- some - uh- what was he holding, anyway? A two-piece leather outfit; very nice. Some sort of jacket-like top, and long flared pants. Otogi tugged off his pants, then his rather-fashionable-but-also-a-bit-chilly sleeveless vest and pulled on something that- okay, so it looked a bit like a jacket, but it was far too tight and short in the sleeves. Darn it. And - wait, was this Yugi's-?

He checked the label. Ew, no.

Those pants that were supposed to go with it wouldn't fit either, then. With some difficulty, Otogi stuck his arm out from behind the curtain, placing the... yacket and yants (yugi-jacket and yugi-pants) on a convenient rack in front of the changeroom. Time to stop playing around; he'd gotten about as much information as he could about the cameras here. Now, he just needed to sign up for a position here, and figure out which days-

"Hey! You! Can I help you?!"

Yes, with all the punctuation. All of it. Otogi jumped, partly because the big loud staff guy (?) was being very loud, and mostly because he didn't have any pants on. It was a bit difficult not to be surprised when one didn't have any pants. He immediately tried to rectify the situation, and succeeded in getting his right foot through his left pant leg. Nice going! This is why your shop burned down! "Uh, no? I was just," tug, tug, "trying on something, and it was a bit small, so I put it back on the rack."

"I noticed," said the big loud staff guy (?). That was way too much enthusiasm and pride, right there. No thank you. Otogi made a mental note to avoid ending up on the same day as this guy. Maybe even the same planet, if possible. "That's completely okay! I have a bigger butt than I think I do too, haha! Well, it looks bigger in some things. Yours is big enough to knock all that stuff down, though! Okay, but seriously, d'ya want another size?"

The inane comment rang from every blue-painted wall of the Graceful Charity Op Shop- and he knows, he knows! He was going to have to pay for all this shit! Otogi's hands shook as he tried to get his pants back on, fiddling futilely with his fly. His chest felt tight; words weren't really quite working. Somehow, he'd been caught out after all. Somehow, all his amazing plans had come to - just because he'd tripped- "Look, I... ah... "

No. No, it couldn't end here. Otogi's donning of pants was swift, and his sprint across the shop even swifter; The giant standing before the changerooms could definitely wait, perhaps a few eons. Perhaps, if he was lucky, Otogi would never have to talk to him ever again. He instead went straight for the first vaguely uniformed individual he knew; the sooner he could get out of here and onto a potential shift with Jounouchi, the better.

A blue apron and a blue cart emerged from the staff room with a real creak. Otogi just about flew at them, sensing a weird urgency all of a sudden: "Hey I just wanted to volunteer at your shop and I was wondering if-"

"SIR! YOU FORGOT YOUR BELTS!"

And immediately regretted it. Seto Kaiba was already not a very forgiving person, but the lack of belt was at least a -10 to Otogi's reputation, and the delicate blue apron had to be at least a-15 to Kaiba's patience. Possibly a -150, combined with the dinky little plastic blue tub-on-wheels, stocked with children's toys (and again, sadly: no children's card games). Otogi tried to hold up his pants, with limited success - they really did need a belt or three to stay on, and on top of that Kaiba was moving, backing him towards the toy section. "Uh. I didn't think I'd see you here?"

Kaiba didn't seem to dignify this with a response, so they just sort of stared at each other. Or at least, Otogi stared. Kaiba wasn't looking at Otogi, but instead at a point far above and behind his head. And yet he'd definitely noticed what was in front of him, since his expression was of the sort Otogi had thought had been left in the Triassic period, when everything looked like it was going to eat you and had just eaten an entire lemon as the entree. Maybe several lemons, with chilli sprinkled liberally on top; his face did look pretty dire. The CEO's hands clutched at the little blue cart with the kind of force usually reserved for choking things; his knuckles were a lovely shade of yellow. Maybe Otogi's knuckles were yellow as well; he was definitely doing all he could to keep his pants up.

As they reached the nearest convenient shelf of toys, and Otogi wondered whether he should just run for the door, the big annoyance of a guy who had been shouting about the belts ran up to them. He was panting, or at least flexing a great deal (that apron was far too small, in Otogi's opinion!), but the smile on his face was nothing short of proud. "Ha! Good thing I realized! That could have been super bad!"

Kaiba said nothing - good on him for picking his battles - but he did flinch on the phrase super bad. Otogi flinched too, but it was more because his belts now smelled fishy - as in, of fish. Which was also pretty fishy, in the suspicious sense of the term. "So... what are you doing here?" he asked, as casually as one could whilst trying to get their belt back on. Anything to keep Kaiba from asking 'what happened to all the furniture' in front of the big guy, who apparently knew the truth. "This isn't over that staff fee thing, is it?"

"What do you think I'm doing?" Kaiba made a gesture that sort of resembled someone scooping out someone else's brains and putting them on a higher shelf. It was a vehement enough gesture to cause a Furby to drop unceremoniously into Kaiba's cart, and begin its normal programming of copious swearing. Eyeing it, Otogi had to wonder if the thing was even supposed to be in the store - surely a store with a name like Graceful Charity was entirely PG? Never mind what kind of past life the Furby might have had to have caused such language. Perhaps the thing had at some point in its miserable existence belonged to Bandit Keith?

To his credit, the (discredited?) CEO completely ignored the item; even kept up enough angry staring to keep Otogi from outright laughing at him. "Exactly, you can't even comprehend what I'm doing. I'm visually merchandising the shelf stock. And if Kajiki knew what was good for him, he would be minding the cart and not bothering me with his pathetic bleating."

So many italics, each one dripping with sarcasm and a kind of burning, like salt in one's eyes but entirely verbal. Definitely hiding something! The big guy - Kajiki, Otogi assumed - just grinned like an utter idiot and stood there. "Aw, well, the cart's empty. Nothing coming in. Not since you put that sign on it." He seemed to be waiting for something. Maybe it was the re-donning of the belts? Some kind of admission from Otogi of what he'd done?

Well, he certainly wasn't about to get the latter. Just keep distracting Kaiba, and eventually he'd get that job. "I didn't think you were particularly charitable," Otogi smirked. (At least, as well as one could while trying to put one's belts back on.) "Last I checked, most of Kaiba Corp's profits went into 'management'. Sooooo, about that teensy weensey staff pay scanda-"

Kaiba's stare immediately intensified. Otogi didn't think it could, but somehow he managed to go from 'eating a lemon' to 'crushing several bear shaped lemons that were also bears with his bare hands and stuffing them into his mouth' in terms of raw threat and malice level. Now, this- this was the sort of stare that ended in people getting shot. "You keep out of this, Otogi!"

(The Furby said a few words Otogi wasn't even sure should exist in print form - which did take the edge off things, but not by much.)

"Aw! You know each other?" Kajiki leaned hard into the shelf, almost upsetting it. This did finally get Otogi to step back; Kaiba, in a vain show of pride, did not budge. "And did I hear you say you wanted to work here? As a volunteer? Another game shop CEO working here, like, what are the chances? Man, I can't wait to tell the manager about the belts. I've never seen that before!"

Yes, volunteering! Good. Otogi smiled, and hoped it wasn't overly forced. "Please don't tell anyone about the... 'belts'. I'd be happy to bribe you on it."

Some silence, some more staring, then Kaiba frowned and turned away. It probably would have been a rather majestic pause for thought, had the Furby not been swearing throughout. "No, Kajiki, do tell them about the belts. Tell them all. Tell every last customer that walks through the door. And then don't let him work here. Because he's-" He stopped, his eyes narrowing as he finally took in the great furniture display. Then, he looked at Otogi. Then back to the- but oh so luckily, Kajiki was talking again.

"Hey, I'm not the manager." The big guy must have been a bit stubborn, or... no, stubborn was a Jounouchi quality and despite his slight obsession with the guy, Otogi was not about to start seeing Jounouchis everywhere. Kajiki was just dumb, he supposed. A bit like Jounouchi. But also not at all like him. And not stereotypically dumb, either - just a big dumb muscular guy who happened to fit a stereotype perfectly.

Do be quiet , me.

Anyway, Kajiki was babbling again. Saving his skin, all things considered. "See, the managers get to do the deciding, so you shouldn't be asking me. That's what I'm saying."

"And now you're being stubborn-!" Kaiba whirled about, almost tripping over his own cart - then most definitely tripping over his own cart and going face-down in whatever lay within. Soft things, going off the dulled thump. He swore, and the Furby swore right back, and soon they were outright screaming at each other. The only reason the toy wasn't taking a boot to the face was probably that Kaiba wasn't wearing boots; curiously, he'd gone for sneakers. Some sort of rule, maybe, but then again - Kaiba following any rule was kind of an impossibility. Maybe there was a rule against wearing sneakers, that'd almost make more sense. "Shut up!"

Kajiki shrugged, like he'd heard this a thousand times. Given he was supposed to work with Kaiba, he probably had. Water off a duck's back. "C'mon, let's just go ask the manager already."

He was already walking, and when Otogi didn't move, he returned to try and tug the new volunteer away from Kaiba. Otogi couldn't resist a quick dig, though. Just one, little quick thing. He'd always enjoyed it when others got to do it, so why not? "Oh, you don't want to work with me? I'm so wounded. Actually, no, no I'm not. I'm here for someone in particular, and I can't see them on your shift." All of which was true, of course - it just happened to sound like a wonderful insult in this particular moment.

"Why... why, you..." Kaiba emitted a real proper animal noise, the sort usually reserved for large predatory animals of the Triassic period. Or possibly bears shaped like lemons. Otogi's brain had a fairly limited imagination when it came to the guy, he really did seem to be just... massively angry and not a whole lot else. A wounded animal, maybe? A caged one? One of those really nasty raccoons with all the diseases. Maybe with bear traps for hands. Terrifying, but harmless for as long as he was stuck in this charity shop job. Probably lethal out in the wild, though. Or, you know, at school. "I'll outdo you! Whatever displays you come up with, I'll beat you over the head with them! My KPI is TWO HUNDRED PERCENT every shift!"

Otogi waved back as Kajiki just about dragged him towards the back of the shop. He hoped his grin was at least a little bit infuriating. "Have fun playing with dolls!"

A/N: First story in a long time. I'm rather rusty and most nervous in posting, so please be patient, please be gentle, all that sort of thing.

Anything to do with the mechanics of op/thrift/charity shops is based on my own experience, and I'm aware no two groups run their shops the same way. Things may be very different in other parts of the world~

Oh, and there will be shipping. I adore my little rare ot3, and I'm interested to explore it. This is a very slow pace, though! I will be trying to update this a few chapters at a time rather than one at a time, as I'm very aware the fic is slow going.