So this is taking place after First Class still kind of in the timeline of Days of future past tho but Logan is not coming for Charles here. Also English is not my mother tongue so please ignore any mistakes that might appear. Hope you still enjoy reading!
Also little disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or actors (unfortunately lol).
TRIGGER warning! If you struggle with mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety you might not want to read this!
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Erik left. Although he did already a while ago, Charles still feels the pain as it would have been yesterday. Tears are rolling down his cheeks. He wonders how there is even tears left after all that time. He almost cries ever day, even if it's only at night in one of his nightmares. He tried to forget him or at least forgive him, but besides all the hate in his heart, there is still a tiny bit of love left, which makes it impossible to forget. This love used to take over all of his heart, at least back then when he was still next to Erik. Although he never told Erik about his strong feelings, he felt the connection between them. But it wasn't enough and it never would have been for Erik.
Charles tried for years to lock all of these emotions away, but his chest still hurts when he thinks about him. He would have never been enough. No matter what he'd do. He couldn't take the pain anymore, he was broken and lost. Erik took the only thing with him that Charles always believed in. Hope.
He wheeled closer to the edge. One more move and he would fall down the rooftop. He felt dizzy from the extra dose of medication he took and the bottle of whiskey he still emptied in his bed. He didn't wanna feel the pain. Neither in is mind nor his body. If Erik would have stayed... But he didn't. It was pointless imagining all those ‚What-would-have-been-if'-scenarios. Since there is just no ‚What if'. Erik made his choice and he wouldn't change. He didn't in all that time.
He never seemed to care as much about Charles as he did about him. Charles cared about him so deeply, that he couldn't even describe it in words, even he would want to. And it hurts, it hurts so bad. The pain he felt when the bullet went into his spine was nothing compared to the pain he felt when Erik left him there laying. The pain he still feels every day, every second of his miserable life. Wounded from the outside and broken from the inside.
Charles takes a deep breath, filling up his lungs with cold air. The moon shining on his pale skin which is marked by countless scratches and wounds, making him even look more sick. He turned his wheelchair so he wouldn't have to face the edge.
As he breathes out he lets himself fall, slowly. It feels like a fall for eternity. Images of Erik are flashing through his mind. His wonderful but oh so deadly smile. His heart is pounding hard in his chest, one more visit in Erik's mind. ‚Goodbye old friend' he whispered while a last tear is leaving his closed eyes.
He hits he ground and for the first time in years he didn't feel any pain and it was absolutely silent in his mind.
He found that peace was an option after all.