Unlocking Fears
A Final Fantasy 7: Rufus/Yuffie Fanfiction
Rated M for Language and Sexual Content
Yuffie Kisaragi checked her phone for the tenth time in as many minutes. Seeing the notification-free screen, she downed he rest of her whiskey and slapped enough gil for her line of empty shot glasses and original cocktail she ordered.
"Keep the change," she growled with a tight smile that attempted to apologize to the bartender for her sour mood.
"Have a goo—I mean, safe trip home, miss," the bartender corrected himself.
"Yeah, thanks, pal." The doors to the fancy hotel restaurant and bar swished closed behind Yuffie as she trudged out.
Stood up. Again.
She didn't message him. Didn't want to become the nagging girlfriend. Didn't want to be clingy. He probably went through plenty of those. And where were they now?
Besides, Yuffie was perfectly fine on her own. Or so she tried to convince herself as she stepped into a convenience store to buy a slice of cake.
On the other side of town, Rufus Shinra jerked out of sleep. He sneezed at the chilled air and frantically surveyed the room. It was a mess, as was he. Clothes and bath towels were strewn around, the bed was a tousled mess.
Sneezing again, Rufus looked down his nude body before scrambling to find clean clothes.
The clock on his wall read ten pm.
His date was for six.
"Shit. Where's my phone?" Rufus dove for his nightstand and turned it on. "No… calls? Or messages? She's fucking pissed at me."
Pressing for her speed dial, Rufus prayed she would pick up as he scrambled to shove his feet into his shoes.
"Car keys, car keys. Come on, pick up your phone, Yuffie," he begged over the electric ringing tone.
"The number you dialed is unable to be connected—"
"Dammit!" Rufus punched the end call button and smashed a quick message to Yuffie, before climbing into his car. As he pulled onto the road, he redialed. "Pick up, Yuffie."
She didn't.
Instead, she speared the strawberry on top of her cake and stuffed it in her mouth as she listened as Rufus's personal ringtone filled her otherwise quiet apartment. The carefully piped swirl of cream was the next sacrifice to Yuffie's dinner-less stomach.
Her phone blinked: 2 missed calls, 1 new message.
A moment later, '1 new voicemail' joined the list.
The white cake was delightfully fluffy, if a little too sweet for Yuffie's usual taste. The take out box was clean by the time Yuffie heard the familiar engine purr along the alley beneath her.
Hurried footsteps raced up the stairs and rapid fire knocking ensued.
"Yuffie? Are you home? Please, just… please answer."
Huffing, Yuffie stood, noisily scratching her chair back before throwing away the cake box and washing her fork.
"Thank, Minerva," Rufus whispered when he heard her move. "Yuffie? I'm sorry."
Yuffie bristled as she filled her kettle with water to boil.
"Please, will you let me apologize properly? Not through the door." His hand rested on the door handle. "Yuffie, please."
Leaning her back against the door, Yuffie whispered, "I waited."
"I know. For too long. Longer than I deserve," Rufus answered softly, knowing her keen ears could hear him. "Yuffie… I—"
"It wasn't just today."
Rufus tensed as his eyes fluttered shut in shame. Their schedules were busy; him as President of Shin-Ra Electric, her as a top field agent of the WRO. As it was, they could only see each other a few days a month. Tiem was precious for them. Or it should have been.
"I just got back this morning. Three weeks, I missed you. I," Yuffie looked down at her shoes, "I *shaved* for you. Everything, for you. Just as you like it."
Rufus's heart clenched and he told a lower muscle to stay down.
"I'm sorry, Yuffie. How can I make it up to you?"
"Tell me why. Why have you missed so many dates? How come we haven't," Yuffie paused, looking down at her still mostly curve-less body, "had sex recently? Just… tell me so I can understand why you don't want me anymore."
"I want you, Yuffie. Don't accuse me of loving you any less than I do." Rufus grit his teeth, trying not to yell with guilty frustration. "I want to be with you. Constantly."
"They why aren't you with me when you say you will? You lie!" Yuffie slammed her fist against the door.
"I'm afraid!"
Shocked silence filled the space between them. Somewhere, someone shouted for them to be quiet.
"Rufus Shinra isn't afraid of anything," Yuffie repeated words he heard from his subordinates over the years.
"I am terrified. Of being cold in the dark. Of being abandoned. Of losing you," his words were labored, like it pained him to say them.
"Well, you've lost my trust. So, I guess that puts you in danger, huh?" Yuffie scoffed. She winced as her lie stung.
"I have been afraid of losing you. From before. That's why I…" He trailed off.
"I was waiting. But now," Yuffie swiped her hand across her cheek to stop an errant tear, "I don't know if I want to anymore."
"Yuffie, I want to tell you. I was… I am embarrassed. That's why I hid it. But I want to tell you now. I want to see your face when I say it. Please? Will you grant me this?"
"You've never said 'please' so many times before," Yuffie noted as she hastened to scrub her face clean.
"Please, Yuffie?"
Sighing, Yuffie knew how much it meant to be heard. When she was accused of bringing Geostigma to Wutai, even without showing symptoms herself, she tried everything to be heard. It hurt to be ignored, to not have the one person you need to convince to even allow her to tell her side.
Reaching behind her, Yuffie unlatched the door and opened it. Without looking at him, Yuffie flipped on the lights and returned to the stove.
"Were you sitting in the dark… alone?" Rufus inquired softly as he stepped in and secured the door behind him.
"I have excellent vision," Yuffie answered from where she prepped a tea pot. "Sit. If you plan on staying."
Rufus pulled out a chair and sat, waiting for Yuffie to join him.
"You have until the water boils to explain," Yuffie decided, putting the filled kettle on the burner. After checking the setting, Yuffie took the chair opposite Rufus at the dining table.
"Yuffie, I am sorry for missing tonight's date, missing the other three, and being late more times than being early. I consider you to be important in my life, and for not showing that through my actions, I apologize. I will not make excuses, but," he swallowed his pride, "I hope you will allow me to explain my… fears and actions."
"If you're afraid of the dark, we could have met for lunches," Yuffie noted dryly.
Rufus sighed. He loved Yuffie's wit. But if she was going to tease him about his fear of darkness, how badly would she mock him for what he struggled with so much he kept it secret.
"Rufus, I'm sorry, that was wrong. I won't mock you. It was when you got Geostigma, wasn't it?" Yuffie reached her hand out in offering.
Touching his fingers to hers, he felt the hardened skin, tempered by a life of training and fighting. As a field agent, Yuffie worked everyday in a heavily physical environment. She was fit, as always, even as she progressed through life. It was the opposite for Rufus. Most of his day was spent at a desk. The most exercise he got was walking at construction sites for inspections. And that was a leisurely pace at best.
"I have… tried… my whole life to be different than my father," Rufus started softly. He removed his fingers so Yuffie wouldn't have the chance to pull away from him. Focusing on her slim fingers, he continued, "I know, I was worse. But I was different. And… to me, that mattered. Then the world turned inside out and everything was different."
Yuffie nodded, silently encouraging him, even though his gaze was still angled down. Over the two years of their steady dating and the few years of infrequent liaisons, Yuffie knew Rufus to be secretive. He would rather focus on her, than talk about himself. He used ego as a weapon to keep people from looking too closely. But when Yuffie held the man, nestled down against her chest in bed, she knew he was lonely and not fully what he portrayed as himself to the world.
"I restarted Shin-Ra Electric, not to be hwat it was before, but to try and maintain the quality of life the citizens of the world need. Without electricity of some sort, we revert back more than a hundred years." Rufus shook his head. "I digress. I try not to be my father. Every damn day of my life. But every day, I look in the mirror and I see him. He was selfish, overindulgent, lazy, and ambitious. He thought he could have anything if he was rich and powerful. And for the most part, he was right. He got Mother's affection that way. But money and power meant nothing to Mother when he… lost his looks. Mother moved to Junon years ago. And has a line of lovers. My father paid for the only companionship outside of work. And even that was a business transaction.
As Rufus spoke, Yuffie became more confused. Was his mother still alive? What did his father paying for whores mean for their relationship?
"Are you paying prostitutes? Am I so unattractive to you? Is that why you haven't wanted sex with me? I'm not sexy enough?" Yuffie slapped the table as her irrational emotions exploded.
"No! It's because I'm not good enough for you!" Rufus bellowed over her words, shocking her into silence. "I was getting fat, just sitting at work every day. Shooting practice doesn't improve my physique or stamina. Yuffie, you are gorgeous. I want to have sex with you. But I don't want you to have sex with someone so old and out of shape as me—"
"You're only thirty-six, Mr. President," Yuffie mumbled. Louder she said, "And just to let you know, I'm not interested in you just for your body!"
"Well, it isn't just for my personality. Even I know that," Rufus retorted softly bitter.
"Rufus!" Yuffie cried out in as much agony as he felt. Scolding him, Yuffie said, "Don't say that."
"We both know I have a history of having a shit personality."
"You tried to help Wutai during the war."
"I also did nothing to stop it. I still received privileges and benefits from being a Shinra."
"Rufus, don't. Please. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're doing good work to build a better reputation for yourself and the Shinra name." Yuffie stood to go to him.
The kettle started to whistle.
"Time's up," Rufus intoned. "I'll… be leaving now."
"Wait!" Yuffie dashed to the stove, turned off the heat and ran to bar Rufus from leaving. "Tell me. What makes you miss our meeting times?"
"I exercise with Rude and Elena. They are my physical trainers. Sometimes, we're late in finishing the work out, or in interrupts the work day and pushes that back. Today, I was exhausted and fell asleep while drying my hair." Rufus pushed his hair back before looking at his hand in wonder. It was a habit. Formed to give off the haughty impression that he didn't care about the prickling sensation he felt in social interactions. He thought it was something he stopped doing in front of Yuffie. "I'm sorry, Yuffie. Truly. For the lame reason of not wanting to become like my fat, unwanted father, I jeopardized our relationship. That makes me egotistical and overly ambitious like him, instead. I'll… give you some time to think and decide what you want to do."
"I already decided. Long ago." Yuffie shifted when he did to block his path. "I chose you. I still choose you. I will always choose you."
"Yuffie, you're a sweetheart," Rufus whispered. He reached up to briefly touch her cheek. It was warm against his cool fingers. "You always saw the best in everything. But you need to—"
"Fuck you."
"I know. I'm deplorable. A real shithead—"
"No." Yuffie grabbed his shirt and grappled him to lean against the table. "I mean, 'I need to fuck you.'"
Rufus felt his body stiffen. Sliding his hand against the table, he tried to maneuver his way out from under his girlfriend.
"You've been working out, right? For a few months. This can be an inspection of your efforts." Yuffie let him slip away, but danced after him and caught his hands. "If you walk out that door right now, I won't need to decide anything. If you really don't want to have sex with me, I won't force you. Give me a hug and leave. I'll do what you ask and think about it."
Rufus closed his eyes and squeezed her hands. She was always his anchor, his beacon in his bleak life.
"I love you, Rufus. You know I have my own insecurities. I mean, look at how I accused you of wanting a woman with big tits and butt."
"You said no such things," Rufus corrected her, his blue eyes opening to stare deeply into her gray ones.
She was staring up at him. Eyes wide and earnest and a soft smile on her lips.
"Hiya, Rufus."
"Hello, gorgeous."
Letting go of his hands, Yuffie slowly ran her fingers up his arms. Under her feather soft scrutiny, Rufus felt his heart clench and his muscles ache.
"You have gotten bigger," Yuffie assessed, her voice as soft as her touch. "You must be sore. How about a massage?"
"I thought you wanted sex," Rufus sounded depressed.
"I need you limber. Can't have you cramping up at pivotal moments, can we?" Yuffie reached up to catch his face. "Come here."
He bent easily to her will and molded his lips to hers. She tasted sweet. Like strawberries and vanilla.
A moan vibrated between them as they both purred. Yuffie clung to him and Rufus wrapped his arms around her slim waist to keep her standing. They kissed more, relishing in the act of being together.
"I've missed you, Rufus," Yuffie confessed.
"I missed you, too," he answered. "Climb up."
Yuffie lifted herself to wrap her legs around Rufus's waist. He walked to her bed where he sat.
"Shoes." Yuffie unwrapped herself and discarded her own footwear. "And jacket. Then lie on your stomach."
Yuffie used Wutaian massage techniques that had Rufus wincing in pain before his muscles relaxed.
"You're getting sadistic pleasure, ugh, aren't you, ah!" Rufus yelped as Yuffie drove her fingers into a knot of muscle at his waist.
"I think," Yuffie's hands slipped under his gyrating pelvis to check, "yup, you're getting some masochistic pleasure from this."
Yuffie chuckled and moved her hands back to the original task.
"There's some place I know that can use a lot of massaging."
"A muscle that should not have been getting a workout without me, right?" Yuffie pinched Rufus's toned butt.
"That's why it needs attention."
Later, Yuffie did give his cock a thorough workout. And Rufus put Yuffie through her own paces in return.
"Ah!" Yuffie fell back against the sheets. They had just finished another playful bout of teasing. Rufus had not been able to hold back and spent himself in the beginning rounds, so he used other methods to continue to spoil Yuffie.
"I love you, Yuffie." Rufus kissed her. The flavor of her strawberry cake had long been replaced with the taste of sex.
"I love you, Rufus." Yuffie stroked his hair as he shifted down to nuzzle his nose against the soft curve of her naked breast. "You know, we can work out together, too."
"Isn't that what we just did?" Rufus tilted his head to add another hickey to the speckled collection already adorning Yuffie's chest. "And yes, we can."
Preening Rufus's hair, Yuffie noted his normally silken strands felt rough. "You didn't rinse out all the shampoo when you showered."
"Maybe that's your cum."
"Maybe it's yours," Yuffie scoffed back with a light swat to his shoulder.
"Not possible," Rufus leaned up to whisper in her ear.
Giggling, Yuffie turned and kissed him. "Of course not. How could it be when you were so deep inside me?"
"Are you sure you'll be alright? I can go to the store right now—"
"I'll be fine. Morning will be here in a few hours. I'll get the medicine then. And pick up more condoms." Yuffie pulled the blankets up. "Lights off?"
Rufus nodded and the room plunged into darkness. Wrapping his arms around Yuffie, Rufus let out a sigh of relief.
"Do you feel better after telling me?" Yuffie snuggled closer. "Cuz I feel better now that I've heard your reasons."
"I do feel better… and ashamed. I should have—"
"Shh," Yuffie tapped his lips, "none of those doubts are needed anymore. Right?"
"You're right."
Rufus kissed the top of Yuffie's head as he felt her fall asleep. How he could pass up spending time with Yuffie, he didn't understand himself. Fear was a mysterious emotion. It rendered him completely illogical to the things that were so simple.
No, he did not have to share everything with Yuffie. She had her own things she still kept private, too. But he knew he didn't want to sacrifice her feelings over topics that could be discussed. Resolving himself to be better about having conversations with Yuffie, Rufus settled himself into the cradle of her warmth.
A week later, Yuffie met Rufus, Elena, and Rude in the WRO gym.
"Welcome to Yuffie's hand-to-hand combat practice!"
A group of WRO agents ran from the room, shouting words of terror and warning.
"Nice place you guys have here," Elena noted, wandering the room.
Rude nodded politely to Yuffie as she hopped over to the men. His phone rang and he flipped it open.
"Rude! Where ya at?"
"Oh! I hear a Turkey!" Yuffie chirped from Rufus's embrace. "What's Reno want?"
"Rude, get Elena and get back here. We gotta get to Corel." The line clicked off and the Turk looked to his boss.
"Elena, Rude. Go."
"Yes, sir!" Elena saluted and ran out.
Rude nodded to the couple and followed the blonde out.
"You know, you could have come for a private lesson instead of staging all that," Yuffie chuckled. Looking up at Rufus's blushing face, she cocked her head. "What's wrong, Rufus?"
"I didn't tell them to do that… They noticed how nervous I've been all day."
"You? Nervous? About what?" Yuffie rubbed his back. "Training with me isn't that bad. I promise. Those agents were just joking. They don't call me 'Demon Trainer' seriously."
"Yuffie, I was originally planning on doing this during dinner. But now I don't think I can focus." Rufus moved Yuffie's arms so he could reach into his pocket. A small box emerged and Yuffie hesitantly leaned away. Offering it, he said, "I know we still have a way to g. But this is what I came up with as a way to offer you my commitment to us. Will you take a look?"
With her ninja deftness, Yuffie's hands shot out to open the box in Rufus's hands. A key sat in the box.
"A key? To your house?" Yuffie asked, hesitant.
"Yes. I want you to be able to visit. I want my space to be someplace that will always welcome you. As I do." Rufus studied Yuffie's face. "Will you accept it?"
Yuffie rummaged in her hip pouch. A little paper bag came out and she swapped him for the box.
"What's this?"
"A key to my place. It's yours." Yuffie added Rufus's key to her keyring. "Ditto, to what you said."
"Yuffie." Rufus stared into her gaze in awe. "I love you. So very much."
"I love you, too." Yuffie hugged him. "Now. Are you ready to train?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Good. We'll start with stretches and a quick five-mile run, then move onto sparring. We should be done well before our dinner reservations."
Rufus blanched a little at her words. He certainly should not have been surprised.
"I don't know how much energy I'll have after a workout like that. I might fall asleep right after dinner," Rufus pondered as he stretched.
"Hm… two miles, then," Yuffie mused. "I need you to have some energy tonight."
Rufus had plenty of energy that evening to satisfy them both.
"Your stamina is fine. Next time, you're running three miles." Yuffie traced his toned body before rolling over to chat about aimless topics like they always did.
Rufus held her later as she slept, knowing that their fears would continue to affect them, but was also reassured in knowing that together, they could overcome them.
-The End-
Author's Notes: Thank you for taking the time to read "Unlocking Fears"! It started with a brief thought of 'What if Rufus looks like his father when he gets older' and thus snowballed into Rufus's fears of losing Yuffie and what he might have done to prevent it. I honestly don't know the male psyche when it comes to these kinds of situations, so I do apologize if there are drastic inaccuracies. However, I did try to think of how Rufus would handle it.
Also, I have no idea if his mother is still alive. I recall briefly from research on Before Crisis and Crisis Core that Rufus had half siblings and stuff, but can't remember any information about his mother. So, sorry if that's all wrong.
Please leave a review if you are so inclined. They really make me happy! Thanks! Until next time!