Time felt like it had slowed or no longer flowed with the rest of the world that morning. The sun was warm, and gentle as it shined down upon the deck of the Barto Club's prized vessel. Everyone was either still awake, just rising, or pre-occupied with maintaining the ship and keeping to themsleves elsewhere on the ships main and lower decks.
Law ever running from sleep and his own mind had taken to dozing tentatively in the small tangerine grove towards the rear of the ship, leaning up against one of the trees from his place sat on the grass portion of the deck. He had been there since early morn before the sun dared break past the horizon, hoping to remain unseen until he was sure he could pull off a mask of bored calm around the other crews. It seemed though unseen, sight wasn't the only sense that could lead anyone to him.
"Oi! Torao!"
Law flinched slightly at the call, knowing he couldn't feign sleep to avoid the other's unwanted company or attention. However he knew, not after Dressrosa and all he'd seen and done, could he say no to Luffy. So with a forced sigh, far too dramatic to fool the observant type, he looked up to the smaller captain and gave him a weak and tired glare as the other approached him.
"Mugiwara-ya."
"What're you doing all the way over here? Breakfast is soon!" Luffy spoke as if missing the meal in question were of a truly disastrous consequence, though the comment only earned him an eye roll from the surgeon. Pouting at the older man, Luffy sat himself cross legged in front of Law, hands gripping his knees as he tilted his head and met the surgeon's gaze; a not so subtle inquiry.
Law looked away, offering a weak excuse. "I...couldn't sleep." As Luffy's gaze never wavered, Law seemed to find tracing the spots on the thighs of his jeans to be quite the fascinating task. At the least, it was certainly the safer option than meet those wide dark eyes.
Luffy, noticing the obviously vague explanation, seemed to come to a decision. He spun himself around, still sitting but now with his back to Law before he scootched backwards until his back was pressed against the other's chest. Law jumped a bit, not expecting the sudden close contact or movement though he stiffly remained seated with his knees bent putting his thighs on either side of the other captain.
"Wha-"
He was cut off promptly, but with a soft tone. "You don't have to talk about it, okay?"
Law still stiff, chewed on his lip and stared at the grass to his side. Taking his silence either as an answer in itself or like a signal, the younger man reached back and grabbed one of the tattooed hands of the elder captain. Law did not resist, but his body moved and reacted in sharp movements, too on edge from the unpredictable situation he was faced with.
Luffy huffed, puffing his cheeks a little in frustration yet he forced his small amount of patience into his gentle tugging of the hand in his grip and waited, pulling the owner of it forward slightly against him more with Law's arm over and against his shoulder. When the other finally gave in and did so, Luffy set about to tracing the tattoos before him.
He started with Law's forearm, his fingers warm against the cooler skin of the other, tracing the spiked ring bordering the central shape of the tattoo. Law through all this was reeling, wound taught like one giant ball of nerves screaming to get up and away, yet he simply sat there instead. Over time in the quiet between them, Law let his arm and eventually his posture relax bit by bit as the other repeatedly traced and rubbed at the designs on his flesh until he was far enough forward to rest his chin on the other's shoulder where his upper arm once rested.
"Does this help?" Luffy prompted, having moved to the simpler designs on the back of Law's hands. Law simply hummed in response, trying to simply focus on the sensation of the others touch and for once not getting stuck too deep within his own thoughts.
In his thoughts was where his toughest battles were after all. The reminders in an array of voices telling him he was a waste of life, that he didn't deserve to be alive, to have the good things around him now. That he was a failure and that everyone was disappointed in him, ashamed of him: his parents, Lami, his crew...Cora-san. The voices of those who loved him mocked him, beat him to the ground and he believed every word of it most days. After all, he was simply a boy on borrowed time in exchange for the life of someone so much more than he'd ever be.
What was the point anymore anyways? He didn't even take down Doflamingo himself, he didn't deserve to celebrate, to have survived Dressrosa. He should have died, hell he had planned on dying for years there and he wanted it, to be free of this constant burden of moving forward and doing, planning, caring so much by not caring, hurting...His mission had been completed, and now with a life he didn't expect to keep, he had to keep going. What was the plan now?
"Well, just...do whatever you want. That's what I've been doing and look how far I got."
Law's eyes widened and he flinched, an audible gasp softly passing his lips as he realized his thoughts had slipped past him while he was unguarded.
"I..." Law trailed off meekly, unsure how to respond. How could he? Luffy stilled a moment and Law quickly went rigid in kind, taking the others pause as a sign he was leaving or dissatisfied. That was fine, Law decided, clearly lying to himself. His insecurities and demons were his to bear, of course a man of conviction and radiance like Luffy wouldn't understand or have the patience for someone who was unwilling to follow suite.
However he was soon proved oh so wrong when Luffy released his arm just to pull his other one forward too. Luffy swiveled his own arms above Law's, effectively loosely placing tattooed arms around his midsection. Law was still, eyes widened slightly in awe of the gesture.
With a satisfied chuckle and a grin to match, luffy then reached up and removed his signature strawhat only to plop it gently atop Law's head. Law's shoulders stiffened and rose at the gesture, his mind racing at what was going on his teeth firmly clamped down on his lip not letting himself break further than he had already.
That venture was short lived however, as Luffy softly patted Law's uninjured bicep and said, "It's okay if you don't know what you want yet. I'm not too good at math so i don't really get exactly how long it was, but you spent a real long time thinkin' about that 'mingo guy huh?"
It was silent for a few moments, Luffy left hanging yet he didn't make to move or speak further. Then, like a dam reluctantly, finally, falling apart the tears came like the metaphorical waters - rushing all at once now freed. Law buried his face into the rubber man's shoulder, first simply crying and soon devolving into sobbing and wailing into the red clothes he hid his face in. His arms tightened around Luffy's waist, now outright hugging the smaller captain to himself.
Law felt so much, yet nothing at all right now and it seemed he couldn't care any longer about the pride and distance he'd spent building up for so long, he didn't care anymore. He was elated and upset, he was hurting yet he wanted to celebrate. He was full of so many thoughts and feelings, from his past and his regrets, to the terrible things his mind forced down his throat from all the years of fear and rage burning within him. It all and so much more hit him, and Luffy spoke it all into existence and broke down his walls.
Law wanted to scream out to the heavens how much it was, too much for him. Everything was too much and so overwhelming, he had gone through so much on Dressrosa and the pain of it plus everything before had reared its head. And now he had a life to live, free of Doflamingo and with knowledge from a marine of all places that Cora-san had truly loved him and wanted him to be happy. What the fuck was he supposed to do with that?
How could he face so readily the simple truth he refused to let himself deserve for 13 long years? How was he supposed to live, what was he to do with that life he had finally truly gained? What was he supposed to do now, his purpose was done and though his life was guaranteed to be shorter than the average man's, he had a decade or two minimum to go should he not be killed or off himself like the miserable fool he was.
All this and so many other thoughts circled in Law's head and who knows, maybe he said all of it or none of it or something else entirely, he didn't know or care anymore. He just kept crying, as if he could expel everything out of him and replace it all with the warmth radiating out of the smaller man in his grip. It took a moment before Law remembered he had Luffy tightly in his arms sat in his lap more or less, but when Law tried to suddenly stop himself (to no avail) and pull away, Luffy was quick to put a hand on the back of Law's neck, holding his face against the crook of his neck.
"It's okay, you're allowed to do whatever you need or want now Torao. If you're upset? Be upset, that's fine. And when you don't wanna be upset anymore or don't have anymore in you to be upset about, we can both figure out together what you wanna do after that."
A wet gasp followed by deep sniffling was followed by an almost unintelligible question of, "What if it takes years before I'm not upset anymore?"
Luffy hummed softly in thought for a moment before replying simply, "then we'll figure it out after however many years it takes." He said it like it was so simple, and knowing him he thought it was exactly that simple. It was enough to elicit a tired chuckle followed by a small cough out of the surgeon, his outburst slowing by this point.
While Law had not loosened his grip, Luffy took to humming to himself idly, returning to tracing the tattoos on Law's arms and hands again. Starting this time by tracing the lettering along his fingers. As the older man's sobs turned to soft hiccups and sniffled, he moved his face to the side resting his cheek on Luffy's shoulder and facing out to the side. He let his still wet eyes close as he listened to and felt the other in front of him. In their little hidden place within the tangerine grove, he decided that when he was truly ready to face himself, he'd have to take Luffy up on his offer of help figuring out what to do next.
Luffy in a short amount of time had certainly lived a lot of life after all, how crazy could it get following in his footsteps or at his side?