Louie had himself a little bonfire in that darkest hour before the dawn. A bonfire of a vanity or a beauty or a vengeance as the only way to hurt the man he hated, but loved him.
"Take a look at what you've done, gaze upon what you've become," he whispered to the past, the present and he hoped it would be in the future. He whispered them to sleeping man, but now wasn't certain if it was to himself as well. He did not care anymore. He had nothing to lose. "Father help me to being his end, then to hell his soul we'll send..." He could have killed him, he should have killed him, but he did not...instead, he drugged him with sleep. Louie didn't forget what he used to spike the butterscotch Nidhogg always loved. Now, he knew...they both did. Now, it was only a question of time.
Louie closed his blue eyes and lifted his chin against the cool wind to face the morning sun. White Blossom, beautiful White blossom made of purple and white and love and sakura petals soon to be tossed into the flame. He had compromised himself to get close to Nidhogg to give him what he had always wanted and to take what needed to be taken. Louie would never be able to wash that fact away, he knew that much, but now he didn't care as he held the flowing dress in his hands, feeling the chiffon silk under his now gloveless hands. /Lunar will never wear this dress.../.
Of course not for it was not her style. Her real style died with her when a sword went right through her. He had been too late. She died with friends, but so what? Dead is dead. She spun in the fields of gold and pagodas, her flowing dress around her, embracing her. It looked like a Cloud version of White Blossom. Maybe she would have liked this outfit. Maybe she wouldn't have wanted him to do this. She is dead. Heinrich Nidhogg thought that he was being kind, Louie did not doubt this. He had it all figured out, but he did not see kindness. Instead, he saw mocking, he saw cruelty, he saw taunting.
"Take a look at what you've done." He began to tear the dress into long shreds. "Gaze upon what you've become." He let the wind carry the pieces before guiding them into the fire. His blue eyes reflected the fire that that will not cease to be any time soon. His tears reflected the fire. "Father help me to bring his end." He looked to his left and saw the grave of his father who died years ago in a fire that killed him. "Then to hell his soul we'll send."
Louie had no doubt that Nidhogg was on his way. He could see it now. Cold fury in his amber gold eyes. He would not be in uniform, not likely, but all black no doubt. With his onyx, no doubt. With his gun, no doubt. With Dark Verdict sentencing him to death, no doubt. /I will bury him in those clothes/. Louie could see it. Black car, one black glove on the wheel, the other on the gear stick. One boot dropping the clutch while the other floored it. Louie could see it. He smiled. It was only a question of time.
Words appeared as the dress disappeared into ashes. /The lights went out that night. Cherry blossoms under the moonlight. I will never forget/. "Good...don't..." Next came the moon colored hair that mirrored his own shorter hair. "He showed you the world, eh?" He tore at the wig until it too became ashes in the fire. "How nice...I could have done that." Lunar is dead. Dead. Dead. That word played into his mind until the hair disappeared entirely.
"The devil take you upon his knee..." Louie grit his teeth. "While I will stab you and make you bleed..."
He let the shawl fly into the wind, into the fire. /Oath, duty, love...how nice, how nice. So like Lunar/. Lunar spun around under the moonlight. She smiled as she showed him the Begonia those years ago. Pink leaves, pink flowers, a different kind of blossom. Now, the tree stood alone under the rising sun. More tears fell from his eyes. He lost count how many oceans he cried when he thought of her. He lost count how many times he raged over losing his "first kiss" to Nidhogg and now the "first time" being lost to that very same man.
The man who was raised as his adopted older brother. Nidhogg didn't care. He fell in love, but Louie did not. Never once did he see him in that way. No matter what. He never saw Nidhogg in that way. And now, he thought of him as dead until his sword would make it so and then he would think of him no more.
Louie easily tossed the hairpin into the fire. /Life is fragile/. "Yea, is sure is." /While I will stab you and make you bleed/. Every time he hesitated, every time he thought of finally joining Nidhogg's side, every time he thought "I can pretend to love you the way I did Lunar", he thought of her, the war, the things Nidhogg said, his attitude toward "weakness", Louie hardened his heart. Now, it felt like steel in his chest, just like the steel he strapped to his waist.
He smiled as a song played in his memories, a song about hardening one's heart, a song that sang through the speakers of his white car while he headed for the League Tyr outpost that housed Nidhogg himself. He would have used his motorcycle, but it wouldn't have fit with his plans, and he wondered what would happen to it now, along with whatever he had left.
He held the earrings in one hand and started laughing. "Wind of Retrospect." Louie tossed them into the fire. "Will try to help people...huh." He whispered the wind. "I tried to help people...I tried...and this is where I end up." Loss. Loss ruined him. Loss after loss after loss. Lunar is dead. The Nameless Knights have lost. Loss...and that was when he planned, when he prepared 'gifts' for Nidhogg. Roses, butterscotch candies and "Yggdrasil" licorice all into a case large enough to fit another case.
One look at the crystal blue necklace and it too became little more than sparks. "She must have been wonderful...like Lunar." Helping children, giving them all an equal chance. At least before people like Nidhogg ruined it so they can prove how "great" they are. Tears formed again. /He can't win...he can't/. So many falsehoods...false peace, false freedom, no justice. He can hear Nidhogg now, "justice is created by the strong."
"There is no justice..." Louie held the beaded ribbon armbands. /Not strong enough to save this world from misery/. "Neither am I..." Another piece for the fire. Yet people like Nidhogg were strong enough to bring misery to everyone else. /Why do people like him always win? Let Miraland die if people like him win/.
Then, the purse. White floral purse with trailing beads of similar pastel colors. /Love always/. Louie closed his eyes. /Our bond started with love...made me who I am.../. "If I only knew such love..." Nidhogg would tell him that he did. /NO! Not you...not from you. It was supposed to be Lunar, but you.../.
He called Colonel Nidhogg himself with the intention of surrender, unconditional surrender. Despite the cold tone, Louie knew that Nidhogg's heart pounded past the barrier of ice, snow, steel, and a gun full of bullets. He knew damned well what his 'brother' was thinking, what he was planning and how he planned it. Everything in the right place, no detail ignored, towels on the double bed with sheets so tight one could bounce a coin off it. Lit sandalwood candle next to a pack of wet cloths and lubricant on a nightstand, spotless room with White Blossom on a table under the window like a dare. Like the coffee maker nearby. Perfect. Appropriate.
The gloves. Silk, soft, lovely white color. They felt nice in his hands. /Changing one life is making the world better/. "I did not do that...not really, not after Lunar..." But, he knew that she did. He knew about the friends she made and how she inspired those around her. He tried and nothing. Nidhogg didn't care about making the world a better place. Louie could hear it now: "I am the world." If that was the case, then maybe the world should be destroyed. Louie quickly looked to the sky. /This is not me.../. He could swear that he saw a blue bird flying close by. He tossed the gloves into the fire. /It is now. I died when all was lost.../.
The shoes were a medium high heel decorated with lilac crystal and silk straps. Talks of travel, of Apple. Louie had been all over Miraland and found that his own North Kingdom was the most beautiful with Cloud at a close second, but he smiled at the thought of Apple. He always did as it had a charm of its own. The vehicles helped, he had to admit. Now? He didn't doubt that every single person in the Federation would hate him now, especially Kimi and her father. He shrugged and the shoes became the spark into the fire.
Nidhogg almost never wore anything other than boots and even then he had been particular. Louie could hear them now. They rang against the floor in the building entrance. Nidhogg had been in full uniform as he waited and smelt of sandalwood and a fresh shower. Louie could hear the metal ringing with the heels as the leader of League Tyr slowly paced before standing in front of Louie.
"Follow me," were Nidhogg's terse words before spinning around and walking briskly to his quarters.
/Gods...no...no...I never wanted to follow like this. Not like this.../. But, it didn't matter what he wanted. Not anymore, except for the one gambit he had left.
The make-up carried a serene look with eyes as blue as his own. The words mentioned preserving the beautiful night and "share it when we got old." New tears formed as he continued to stare into the White Blossom eyes. They reminded him of Lunar's eyes. Nothing like Nidhogg's. Yes, they were a beautiful amber gold, but they were marred.
In his quarters, Nidhogg remained stoic while he looked at Louie with those eyes. He did not look away as he approached.
"Finally," he said, his voice soft, but nothing like Lunar's. Nidhogg's soft was a blade, the Dark Verdict that killed her. He stood close to Louie, very close. His officer's cap almost touched Louie's forehead, the citrus wood embraced Louie. /Damn that cologne/.
Back to the fire, the fire that burnt, the make-up smeared on Louie's hands when he thought of those full lips on his own. The slow, methodical kisses that moved from one side of Louie's face to the other before settling on his mouth. Inwardly, he recoiled. /I can pretend, I can pretend/. Those words constantly ran through his mind when he finally surrendered his tongue to Nidhogg, when he accepted the sudden ferocious embrace, when he listened to the rattling of medals and metals, the sound of leather gloves, of breathing between kisses. The cap slid off Nidhogg's dark head, but he caught it just in time and tightened his embrace. /Even now, he is calculating. I can pretend. I know what will happen...yes...grudgefuck/. With that word, Louie answered Nidhogg with an intensity of his own.
Nidhogg only slightly pulled away, almost breathless, his lips still very close to Louie's, piercing golden eyes locked against blue. "Yes, yes. This is how it should be. This is how it sound have been. You and I. We are, and always have been, invincible together. Have you forgotten? Do you have any idea what I have done to keep you safe? Do you have any idea what I am willing to do for you? For /us/? Anyone who harms you would pay to their very last breath and I would see to it that there is nothing left of them. That is how much I loved you, that is how much I love you now. You knew this." He grabbed Louie's chin. "You always knew this."
"I did."
"And what did you do?"
"I-I squandered it."
Nidhogg nodded, his gloved hand tightening. "You will never do that again. Is that understood?"
"Yes."
Yes. Louie understood the way he understood wiping his hands to remove the smear of make-up before throwing the kit into the fire. The eyes remained serene, sad even before they turned into yet more ash and only golden eyes remained in his mind.
"Good," Nidhogg whispered, his hands sliding down Louie's white gold uniform, the one worn by the Nameless Knights. "This will be the last time you wear this. Tomorrow, you will burn it all. You will swear an oath of allegiance in front of me and all of League Tyr. We will swear a personal oath together." Amber gold eyes locked on blue, never faltering for a single moment. Louie could not, would not look away as he knew damned well what the "personal oath" meant. /I can pretend.../. "You will obey me like you would the word of God. Is that understood?"
"It is."
Finally, Nidhogg glanced away to the case Louie placed on a table in front of the bed. He didn't have to ask.
"My clothes, of course," Louie replied, "but I also brought you gifts."
"You alone are a gift, Louie," Nidhogg said, his face impassive, but Louie knew him.
Roses in a vase decorated with dragons from Cloud, stationary with a pen from Lilith, butterscotch pudding and "Yggdrasil" licorice from North Kingdom. "And, of course, information."
Only then did Nidhogg smile a dazzling smile, his golden eyes bright as the candle burning on the nightstand. "As I said, you alone are a gift."
The White Blossom was a gift made of beauty, the Blue Phoenix was a gift, getting the chance of meeting someone like Lunar and to love and be loved in that way was a gift. /A gift you took from me...dreams you took from me...soon, I will be the end of all your dreams/. Louie smiled when Nidhogg opened the pudding.
Of course, they slept together, of course they did. Louie knew it would happen. /I can pretend, I can pretend/. Those words continued to echo in his mind with every thrust while Nidhogg made no sound unless one counted staggered breathing. Pretend that it's Lunar he moved inside of, pretend that it's Lunar who touched him, who closed around him. He did not doubt for a single moment that Nidhogg was thinking of how his body worked under someone else's movements, their touch and how it affected him. Louie could sense that Nidhogg was trying to maintain control, of course, and succeeding, of course. At least for the most part. Even the strongest of wills had limits.
/I can pretend that I love you even though I haven't in years and never the way you wanted me to. I can pretend to enjoy this even though I hate every second of it. I can pretend.../
Nidhogg remained quiet when he reached his climax. Of course he did. Louie merely grunted when he reached his and their eyes locked and they both smiled. /Perfect.../
"This should have happened sooner." Nidhogg said as he cleaned Louie and himself. "It's not all your fault, I know, but now things are as they should be and together, we will free Miraland."
/Free Miraland.../ Sakura petals flowed into the air as the trees that birthed them appeared on both sides of the bonfire. The final piece of the Blossom: a foreground. /If only you could see this Lunar.../. He could see her now, lifting her hands against the leaves, smiling at him, her long hair touched by the wind while she looked at him.
Nidhogg smiled in his bed, the room lit only by the moonlit candle. /Mesmerizing as the night sky...sharp as a blade/. Louie would never deny that. "I love you...Louie..."
Louie felt his heart ache as he closed his eyes to hide the sudden tears. No matter Nidhogg's faults, no matter his actions, Louie knew that those words were sincere and for a few moments, he considered aborting his plan and staying. Become again what they once were: comrades in arms and in the hearth. Then he thought of Lunar and that poor secretary, Yvette. People called her "lucky secretary". Louie knew otherwise and who knew how other subordinates were treated. He thought of all those who suffered, the ruined lives, the dead. All because of League Tyr and the "Night Order." The right songs played in his mind again.
In the hot shower, he scrubbed the way one scrubbed when contaminated with radiation. He didn't know how long he stayed in there, but he had no worries. Nidhogg would be asleep for quite awhile, Louie made certain of that. He let himself cry in the shower, but from rage more than anything else and he felt grateful that he had that rage.
He wore only the trousers and white boots of his uniform. Beyond that, he wore a plain white shirt sprayed with his own signature cologne: rose musk. Simple and sexy, depending on who you asked. He watched Nidhogg sleep. Peaceful, happy, lovely in his own right. /Good, because it won't last. I would love to be a fly on the wall when you wake up/. He wrote a nice little note on the stationary, left it on the nightstand and placed a Blue Phoenix paperweight on top.
/You'll never have me/.
Over and over again, Louie played those words in his head as he placed the White Blossom in his own case while his coat draped over his arm and his sword strapped to his side. /Don't worry, Heinrich, I'll do as I am told/. With a smile on his face and car keys in his hand, he left the room.
"I was ordered to burn this. The Colonel is asleep and he made it clear that he doesn't want to be disturbed." He told the guards as he strode out of the building. He never felt more fortunate, except when he met Lunar.
He left the radio off as he drove out of the League Tyr base, realizing that it was the darkest hour. /Fitting, how fitting/. Only the cool air, the engine of his car as he shifted gears as needed, and his own breathing reached his ears. He felt at peace for the first time in years. He noticed that the moon was crescent shaped. /Crescent.../ His blue eyes briefly darted to the suit case that held White Blossom, his Nameless Knight coat and gloves draped above it. /That was your name...makes me think of Lunar/. He took a deep breath and spoke to the bright and shining stars that would soon be replaced by the dawn.
"Those of you in the Apple Federation, I'm sorry. Those of you who remain in the Knights, I'm sorry, but I made sure you would be prepared for the storm of swords that is sure to head your way. You need allies more than ever now and I won't be there-" He paused, pinning the pedal to the floor. "This has to be done. I hope you understand."
/Understand.../ Sakura petals blew above the bonfire along with remnants of the White Blossom. He read the words: /The brilliance of white cherry blossoms is like the Milky Way lost in the mortal world, giving us strength/. "Strength..." He moved to turn the foreground into kindling until a blue bird landed on one of the branches. /Would Lunar approve of this? She is dead/. As for the diamond known as Eris Kiss, that was freshly buried with his father. He did not know nor care if anyone would ever find it. The bird watched him.
He lifted his white coat, running his hands across the golden cord, the crosses that doubled as fasteners, and the soft leather of his gloves. He threw them all in the fire and as he watched it all burn together, he could swear that he saw those eyes, the ones from the make-up. "Crescent? Lady Crescent?" He sighed. "I wish I could have met you. You were wonderful...like Lunar."
Then he heard the sound of engines, of a car door slamming shut, of the tell tale stride of bootsteps, and he knew those golden eyes were on him. /Now.../
"Take a look at what you've done. Gaze upon what you've become. Father help me to bring his end, then to hell his soul we'll send. The devil take you upon his knee while /I/ will stab you and make you bleed. You'll repent for what you've done….The strong create fate, the weak follow fate. This is your fate. I will destroy the fate you create. All your plans, all that you value...I will ruin. " Louie laughed. "I already have and there is nothing you can do! Nothing!"
He wondered what he looked like as the flame burned before him. He wondered what he looked like between the trees that threw sakura petals around him. He wondered what he looked like in the eyes of others, especially the one with the golden eyes. Would the fire look like wings upon his back? Would the fire reflect his now drawn sword? Is the bird still watching or has it flown away? Would Louie really be the Flame Phoenix? All he knew was that the morning wind felt good against him as he spun around to face his extinguished future.
Notes: I deliberately made this story open ended because I really couldn't think of what else to do, tbh.