Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of its associated characters!
Summary: COMPLETE. Sasuke's late for his bus. A bookstore's a pretty convenient place to wait, right? Reincarnation AU, SNS, oneshot.
A/N: What a whirlwind of a few weeks. I hope that you and your loved ones are safe and healthy. Take care of yourselves, stay hydrated and make sure to moisturize your hands plenty with how much you're washing them! Love you all. I'd been hoping to get out a few more distractions for you soon, but I'll have to take it day by day. I hope you'll take this in the meantime.
Here we go!
Familiar
Half an hour.
Sasuke heaved a sigh, rocking back on his heels. Why the buses in this city forever lived to arrive at any minute other than those they were scheduled, he didn't know. He'd barely been a minute late! Not even a minute, he—
He scowled down at his phone.
Well, alright. Maybe ten minutes late.
Maybe.
Sasuke stuffed his phone back into his pocket with more force than necessary. He was surrounded by shops—stores—places to wait and places to sit. He didn't particularly feel like stalling out in the cold—with the overcast sky, threatening rain at any moment, and the bench with stains left only up to his imagination…
Sasuke sighed, turning around.
He supposed his goal this year had been to read more.
Heaving his bag over his head so it swung from him properly, Sasuke made his way into the shop. It was a small, unassuming place—reselling used books in a jumbled, misshapen mess, if his glance through the window had been anything to go by. Still, there had been something about the place that caught his eye...
Perhaps it was just the fact that he got off this stop every morning.
He pushed through the door, and the man behind the desk looked up.
"How can I—oh."
The blood drained from his face, his eyes wide with some sort of ghostly realization. Likely familiar with the Uchiha family, Sasuke thought, letting the familiar shiver of discomfort crawl under his skin.
"Just looking," he said quickly, moving past the desk. The sooner he could disappear behind the shelves, the better. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the slight shift of blonde hair as the man let out a shuddering breath that sounded something like a laugh.
"Fair enough," he called after him, with a light tone of voice that didn't fool Sasuke for a second. "Let me know if I can help."
Sasuke glanced back, catching the man's ineffable eyes before they were turned away from him, down at the book that had once held their attention. Sasuke found himself paused, scanning the way he slouched on the stool, one knee up as if hoping to hide his face behind it, hand threading nervous fingers through his hair...a familiar gesture to Sasuke, somehow, but he couldn't put his finger on who he might remember having done it…
Blue eyes looked up.
Sasuke's panic spun him right back around.
He didn't know why, now, he'd suddenly decided to become a people watcher. He had no interest in strangers and that wasn't about to start now—he walked far enough down the row to be hidden, but he couldn't shake that feeling of being stared at in return—
He glanced behind him.
No. Only books.
Sasuke let out a small breath. He was—he was clearly on edge after missing his bus. After work today. After Itachi driving him as crazy as usual, and getting a particularly miserable sleep...he let his fingers run along the spines of the books and breathed out again. He didn't even know what he was looking for…
He paused at the end, looking around the end of the shop. It was exactly as cluttered as he thought it would be—and exactly as unorganized. Warmer, though, and with a touch of something…
Comfortable. Sasuke took a moment longer to eye the ledge by the window, padded with far more pillows than strictly necessary. Did people often treat this shop as a library? Not today, maybe, but…
Sasuke walked back along the other side, pausing for a moment to peer around the shelves to see...oh.
Sasuke glanced around himself. Where had the man gone? The counter was empty. He hadn't seen anyone else come in, either, so—
Sasuke peered down each lane, quietly walking past each one. Not that he was looking for him, but Sasuke liked to have a firm knowledge of where everyone was at any one—
Sasuke reached the desk, and blinked.
"Uh!" said the blonde, leaping to his feet as if he hadn't just been sitting on the floor with his face firmly in his hands— "Sorry! Sorry—I, uh, I've got a headache. Just. Um. You know."
He waved an awkward hand, attempting to grab the ledge of his desk twice before he finally got a hold of the...stationary object. Sasuke let his eyebrow raised but held his lips firm, no matter how he could feel the smile fighting against them—
"Right," he said. "Is this a library or a store?"
"Uh," the blonde said again. "Bit of both? Really? Um. Some—some people like to hang out, and if you stay I'll—I can make you coffee and stuff. It's—I've got a book and brew deal. Thing."
Sasuke scanned his face for a moment longer.
"Your sales pitch needs work."
"I—hey!" The blond let out a breathless laugh. "You—you bastard! That—"
"Is the coffee free?"
The blonde's mouth opened and closed.
"If you buy a book. And you're nice to me."
Sasuke's lips twitched.
"My apologies. You seem like a genius."
"That's the opposite, asshole!"
"Well okay, dickhead," the cashier was saying, "I'm just saying it's worth a shot is all."
"I've given fiction many a shot," Sasuke replied, scanning the back cover, "and is there a particular reason you're so foul-mouthed with me?"
The blonde's head jerked up.
"I—no. No, I—Sorry. Does it bug you?"
Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"Not particularly," he said, "but I imagine it would bother your employer."
The blonde laughed.
"It did," he admitted, "when my mom used to own this place. She swore even more than I do, though."
He threw Sasuke another smile, but Sasuke's mind stuck firmly on the past tense, tumbling it over in his head as if—
"It's mine now, though. Can swear as much as I like." He glanced down and back up. "What about you? Family, um, business?"
Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"You don't have to pretend," he huffed, turning back to the shelves.
"I—huh?"
"I'm aware that my last name is commonly known. You don't have to play the idiot."
There was a pause. Sasuke pulled another book from the shelves and flipped it open, scanning the page...hm…
"I—okay. First off," the blonde said, and Sasuke looked up, "I don't play the idiot. I am the idiot. You know tha—you'd know that as well as anybody. And I—you haven't—have you actually told me your name?"
Sasuke blinked.
"...No."
The blonde threw his hands up in the air.
"There you go. I know you work across the street, though," the blonde said, pulling a book from the shelves. "See you every morning."
Sasuke blinked.
"Do you?"
"Yeah," he laughed. "Our windows look right into each others'. See?"
He pointed down the hall, and Sasuke leaned down to follow the angle. He could, actually, see his window—or the many windows, in their ridiculous open concept workspace, letting the entire world peer into whatever they might be doing.
Damn it.
"My window is rather higher than yours," he still pointed out.
The blonde snorted.
"Height is not the measure of a man, Sasuke," he said, turning around. "Take it from a kid who was short as hell. Do you wa—"
"How did you know my name?"
The man froze. There was the briefest pause—the slightest flash of expression before a wide smile was plastered right over whatever it had been—
He reached over, and flicked Sasuke's lanyard up at him.
"You've still got your nametag on," he said, pulling back with a small, knowing grin, "with no last name. Anyway. If you're set on nonfiction, you're in the wrong section. Don't say shit about organization, I know you're gonna say shit about organization—"
"I wouldn't dream of it."
"—but I—sure you wouldn't," he said, huffing out a laugh. "But there are sections around here, we just have too many books for the shelves. Anyway—if you're—if you're willing to, uh, branch out, there is—"
He pulled a book from the shelves.
"I dunno. I liked this one."
Sasuke took it. The blonde breathed in, and then snatched his hand away.
"Jiraiya Sannin," Sasuke read from the cover. "I don't recognize the name."
The blonde laughed.
"I—yeah. It's a—um—departure. From his usual work."
Sasuke looked up, eyebrow raised.
The blonde shuffled on his feet.
"I'll—um. Anyway. I'll leave you to it."
He stepped back.
"Don't I need to pay?" Sasuke asked.
"If—uh. If you take that one home, yeah. Or if you pick a different one. But I'm kinda forcing that one at you, so if you hate it—"
He waved a hand, as if it would complete the rest of his sentence. And maybe it did, because Sasuke dutifully tucked the book under his arm, glancing behind him for a moment—
"Do I still get coffee?"
The man's face brightened.
"I'll start a new pot right now."
Sasuke found himself, a few hours later, quite happily reading in the corner of the room. He'd missed his next bus, and several others after that, but he still had a firm few left before he was truly stranded here—
So it—it really wasn't an issue that he was here. It was just for the book, after all, that had happened to pique his interest more than anticipated. The book and the coffee, which were unrelated to the strange feeling in his chest...like a sleeping fascination, a building anticipation...like there was something his body knew, something his body was waiting for—a something he didn't know yet, but a something that had to do with—
"Knew you'd be out," said the man in question, darting around the corner to pour Sasuke another cup of coffee. "You're going to make me do a shopping run after this, y'know."
Sasuke quirked an eyebrow.
"Try not making promises you're unable to keep, then."
The man let out a small laugh, eyes meeting his.
"I always keep my promises, Sasuke."
And there it was again. In his chest, in his throat, under his skin and in his veins—
Blue eyes looked away, and the feeling subsided.
"Anyway," he said, shoving a hand into his pocket, "bathroom's back behind me, down the hall—if you need it. With all that coffee, y'know."
Sasuke made a show of rolling his eyes.
"I'm capable of reading signs, yes," he said, slipping his finger between the pages of the book. "You're not wearing a nametag."
The man looked down at himself.
"I—huh?"
Sasuke's lips twitched.
"Your name, moron. You keep using mine."
"I—" the blonde laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Um—yeah. Naruto. I'm Naruto."
The name tumbled through Sasuke's head.
"Naruto," he said, tasting the word on his tongue. It was comfortable—almost easy, as if it was something he'd said a thousand times, "as in the main character of this book?"
He had the nerve to break out into embarrassed, flustered laughter—
"That's not why I made you read it!" he said, frantically waving a hand between them. "It's a good—"
"Liar."
"It's no—"
"Mhm."
"I mean, it's—"
"You've never been able to tell a lie in your life," Sasuke said, tilting his head to the side, "have you?"
Naruto huffed out a breath.
"Not to you," he muttered, looking away, "...apparently. Okay—maybe that's part of it, but it's a good book, right?"
Sasuke opened the book back up.
"Yet to be seen," he said, leaning back. "Do you offer food here?"
Naruto let out a soft laugh.
"The place next door does. I'll show you the menu."
A book, three coffees, and a makeshift dinner later, Sasuke caught the last bus home. Naruto had been simultaneously impressed and disappointed at how quickly Sasuke had sped through the pages, and Sasuke found himself uncharacteristically wanting to rub it in the man's face.
He had, in the end. He hadn't meant to. Somehow, Naruto had found it hilarious.
He shrugged his jacket from his shoulders and looked around his dark, empty apartment. It certainly wasn't the first time he'd come back after dark, but today somehow it felt...particularly empty. Quiet. Lonely.
Sasuke let out a breath, pushing his closet doors shut.
Perhaps that was why he'd stayed so long. He was fairly sure the store had closed hours prior, and Naruto had been a touch too...something to kick him out as he'd rightfully ought to have. And yet, Sasuke had stayed. He'd known he should go. He'd known he would normally very much want to go, but…
His head felt both clearer and entirely a mess, now that he was alone. He was used to this, wasn't he? Coming home to an empty, hollow house, dirty dishes stacked high in the sink, cobwebs hanging from every corner he couldn't reach…
What? No. Sasuke shook his head. His dishes were clean and his apartment was reasonably sized—he could reach any of the corners if he was particularly determined to. And it wasn't a house. Sasuke hadn't lived in a proper house since he'd lived with his family—which was full of life and noise and far from empty at any given time.
Strange thoughts. His head was getting away from himself today.
Sasuke snorted.
Likely something to do with the coffee. And the books. And the idiot blonde that had roped him into all of it. He'd spent far too long there and done far too little, and yet...
It hadn't been an...unpleasant way to spend an evening.
"You're back!"
Naruto's face lit up as if the stars themselves were in his eyes the moment he saw him. Sasuke...resigned himself to staring into them.
"So I am," he said, that tight feeling in his chest again. "Is your corner available?"
"Sure is," Naruto said, with a grin and the slightest lean forward. "Bought more coffee, too!"
Sasuke snorted.
"You should likely cut me off," he said, slipping past the desk, "this time."
Naruto's grin widened.
"I couldn't do that to you," he said. "Besides, a deal's a deal. Looking for another recommendation?"
Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"Do you have an entire list of books featuring yourself?"
"It—it wasn't featuring me!"
"You do seem like the type to rush headfirst into danger."
"You—he—" Naruto let out a strained, laughing, deflated breath. "I hate you. Come with me."
And Sasuke followed, keeping mercifully quiet—noting, in the back of his mind, that Naruto had never actually denied the claim.
"This isn't actually a functional fireplace," Sasuke said, the next time Naruto swooped by, "is it?"
"Huh?"
"A fireplace," Sasuke said, jerking his head towards it, "in a bookstore."
Naruto laughed. Sasuke surreptitiously adjusted his feet so Naruto could sit on...the corner of his corner.
"I never use it. I'd like to, though. Never been much good with fire, but...well. Yeah."
Sasuke scanned him for a moment longer.
"I'd recommend you continue your distance from it, then."
Naruto ducked his head, that faraway smile on his face again.
"That'd be a smarter choice than I've been known to make," he said, looking down and back up. "...How are you with fire?"
Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"What?"
"Fire," Naruto said, standing to busy himself with something in the shelves. He was turned away, again—gaze away from Sasuke, again— "you have a—fireplace at home or something?"
Sasuke scanned the tension in his shoulders, the stiffness in his arms—the way it almost seemed as he'd hold his breath before Sasuke finally spoke—
"My family does," he said, leaning back with a small sigh. "My apartment most certainly does not. My brother is better at tending it than I am, if that's what you're asking."
Naruto's head jerked back.
"Ita—um. You—you have a brother?"
And there, again. Shock, but no surprise—like he'd expected something, but not this—
"And cousins," Sasuke said, propping his arm across his knee, "and uncles and aunts and enough nephews and nieces to make you question a great deal of my family's life choices—"
Naruto laughed. It was bright and exhilarated and he stared at Sasuke with happy, shining eyes—
"Yeah? You've—you've got a big family?"
"That would be an entire understatement," Sasuke said, and Naruto laughed again.
"That's—that's great, Sasuke," he said, breathing in. "Or—well—I don't actually know if it's great, but—"
"It drives me insane."
"Well, I—you—does it?" Naruto said. "Does it actually?"
And there was something desperate in those eyes, and Sasuke found his voice rising to answer before he even—
"No," he said softly, and Naruto smiled.
"Knew it," he said, eyes shining. "I—"
The chimes above the door rang, and Naruto turned around.
"Coming!" he called. "Sorry, Sasuke, I—"
"Go ahead," Sasuke said softly, "I'll be here."
Naruto threw him another something-close-to-tearful smile, and then he was gone. Sasuke distinctly saw him duck his head, pulling a sleeve to a cheek—
Strange. A strange man—an even stranger reaction. Sasuke couldn't even begin to guess at what it was made of, and yet—and yet, the strangest part of it all—
Sasuke swallowed, looking down at the pages of the book.
Look at him. He'd gone and gotten it wet.
Naruto had been gone for quite some time. Sasuke had heard the soft, muffled voices for the majority of it—one distinctly more familiar than the other. But the other was just as consistent and a touch more insistent, leading Sasuke to note, quietly, than it was likely not a customer. Likely someone Naruto knew. And so Sasuke ought to be patient—let Naruto finish his unbreaking, ferociously whispered conversation, but…
Sasuke grabbed his empty coffee cup.
Naruto had promised him constant refills, after all.
"One date," someone with burning pink hair was saying—Sasuke adjusted his view through the shelves to see Naruto's face, "that's all I'm—"
"Still no."
The woman threw her hands up in the air.
"What is with you," she hissed. "You hate being alone. I know you do. Why are you so determined to sta—"
"I'm not determined to stay alone," Naruto said, a hint of laughter in his voice. "I just know...who I am. Who I want."
"How can you possibly know that if you never give anyone a chance?"
"I gave people more chances than you think, Sakura. They don't not count just 'cause you don't remember them."
Sasuke stared through the shelves, watching the way the blonde leaned back and then forwards again, stretching himself through his grip on the counter.
"Don't worry about me. I'm okay. I'll be just fine. Okay?"
The woman—Sakura—crossed her arms and sighed.
"You can't stop me from worrying about you," she said. "You don't seem fine. You can say what you want but your eyes are still look red right no—"
"That's not—that's something different!" Naruto said, and Sasuke nearly pressed his face right up against the shelves. "I was—I was reading a book and it got to me. That's all."
Lie. Why had he lied? Sasuke didn't…
"Date me."
Sasuke jerked. Naruto did the exact same, which was good, because it meant he didn't hear—
"Huh?!"
"Date me," the woman said again. "We're friends. We're—I'm attractive, you've said I'm attractive before—"
"Sakura," Naruto laughed, "you're very pretty. We're good friends. Our romantic chemistry is pretty much zero."
"It's—!"
"It is. I know you're trying to help—in your weird, bizarre fucked up kind of way—"
"Hey!"
"—but that's not gonna work. Get outta here. I know Ino's waiting for you."
Sakura heaved out a long breath. (Sasuke made a point of uncomfortably acknowledging the relief in his chest.)
"...Fine. Fine, but only because she'll cut me if I keep her waiting—you call me, okay? If you need me. Promise you'll call."
"I promise," Naruto said. "Now get out of my store."
Sakura smacked him over the head, and the chimes jingled in time with Naruto's soft, tender laugh. Sasuke watched for a moment longer, before—
"I know you were listening, asshole."
Sasuke nearly jumped out of his skin.
Naruto laughed.
"I can see you. Y'know if you can see me through the shelves, I can see you too, right?"
Sasuke...crossed his arms and firmly stared through the window as he moved around the shelves. He hadn't—he hadn't meant to—
"Everybody's worried about my romantic life," Naruto said, laughing softly. "Mainly that it, uh, died before it's time."
Sasuke snorted.
"But I know who I love. Is that so crazy? I know who I—who I want to be with, and if it's not them, then—then—there's no point. What's the point?"
Blue eyes met his, and Sasuke breathed in.
"You've met them already?"
Naruto looked up again, eyes solemn and piercing. The smile was back on his face after barely another moment.
"Met them a lifetime ago, Sasuke. Did you want dinner again today?"
And just like that, Naruto moved on. But Sasuke…
"...Sure."
The ceiling was filled with visions, tonight. Sasuke couldn't sleep for the life of him. Everytime he closed his eyes he saw shadows of movement—silhouettes of people, echoes of voices that he couldn't quite pick out—
(Sasuke!)
Except for one. Except for his name, over and over again, in a voice that was unmistakably Naruto's, but…
(—no longer—your friend…?)
But—
(—erything we did, together as—)
But he—
(Was it all just meaningless to you?!)
Sasuke gasped in a breath, his eyes flying open.
His heart. His heart hurt so badly, his heart pounded in his chest and his body echoed with regret and he could barely breathe and then—
And then, it was gone.
Sasuke stared up at the ceiling, and it was bare. It was white. Like waking up in a hospital, after an unending nightmare—like feeling like a failure, after desperately trying and trying and trying again, he—
Sasuke sat up, heaving out a breath.
His head was...somewhere else tonight. He couldn't figure out where it was, but it sure as hell wasn't here.
It all came back to Naruto, though.
It was so vivid—all the ways he could see Naruto's face and hear his voice and know exactly what he would say in every situation, like he—like he knew his heart, somehow, like he—
Like he'd known him.
A long time ago.
Sasuke rolled over, heaving out another breath.
This was stupid. And impossible, in about a million different ways. Sasuke's dreams had always been particularly vivid and this wasn't the first time they'd fucked with his head, anyway.
He just needed to ignore it and go to sleep.
Like he always had.
Sasuke missed his bus on purpose, that night.
He would have liked to say he was just tired. He would have liked to think he had just been moving particularly slowly, and time had been moving particularly quickly, and when he'd stared out of the window until his bus went by, he'd felt disappointed instead of relieved—
But there was no point in lying to himself, was there?
It was with a resigned sigh that Sasuke let the chimes clatter above his head, and with a good chunk of resentment that he felt something flutter in himself at the sight of—
"Sasuke!" Naruto said, laughing with stupid, familiar delight. "Miss me already?"
"In your dreams," Sasuke sniped back, not meeting his eyes. In his own dreams was a more accurate statement, and Sasuke somehow had himself convinced that if he looked up, Naruto would miraculously—
"You okay? You seem tired."
—figure it out.
"Fine," he said quietly. "I...didn't sleep well."
Naruto breathed in. It forced Sasuke to snap his eyes up, but all that did was make Naruto look away, meeting in his in short, scared bursts—
"Nightmares?"
He'd had them all his life.
"Yes."
Naruto breathed out again. It was both the answer Naruto had expected and the one he hadn't wanted—Sasuke could see it in the way his eyes stared firmly at the floor, his lips thinned, his shoulders sank and his feet moved back—
"I'll get the coffee started," Naruto said, stepping back, "you can go on back."
And then he was gone.
Naruto was like a shadow.
Like a breath—like a leaf, making all the sounds it made as it fluttered from a tree to the grassy earth below. Sasuke had found his coffee refilled three times already and not one time had he properly caught more than a flash of blonde hair, or fingertips around a shelf, or—
Sasuke downed the rest of the coffee and made a point of loudly setting down the cup. Naruto would hear that it was empty, surely. And Sasuke could properly make a point about how Naruto had never been able to properly hide that something was wrong from—
...From...him?
Sasuke blinked back down at his book, letting the words blur together. This feeling again. This strange...familiarity. Naruto might seem like a man to wear his heart on his sleeve, but he wasn't—he was someone to plaster a smile over any feeling that conveyed anything other than happiness, and that—that—
That was not something Sasuke should know after three days of knowing him.
But maybe he was wrong. Surely he was wrong. Perhaps he was projecting, somehow—wanting to be able to read someone so easily, even when others couldn't. Sasuke had never exactly been a master of emotion to begin with, so...maybe this was his attempt at fixing a flaw. As awful as it might be...
Sasuke looked to the side.
His coffee cup was full again.
God damn it.
Sasuke stalled, quite unhappily, until Naruto was forced to be kind and hospitable and ask him about dinner. He stayed a good distance away—three shelves, as opposed to sitting right at Sasuke's feet—
"I think," Sasuke said, letting that strange feeling lead his tongue, "we should order ramen."
And the surprise wasn't unexpected. No, the way Naruto's eyes widened and then looked away, the way he flinched back, mouth opening ever so slightly but with no sound coming out—
Sasuke had known that would happen.
But he hadn't expected the fear.
"Um," Naruto said, "I don't think there are any places nearby. Is that okay?"
Fear.
Written in Naruto's eyes, his neck, his shoulders, his white knuckles and tight lips—
(—re you hurt, scaredy-cat?)
Sasuke relented.
"Whatever works, then."
Naruto nodded gratefully, and then he was gone.
Sasuke stared at where he had been for a long, long time.
Naruto didn't come back for quite some time. Or, well, it likely wasn't all that long, but Sasuke's book was far from a distraction, and he was tired and confused and—and counting the seconds as they passed by definitely wasn't helping any.
Still, it was warm, here. Warm, and Sasuke's hunger wasn't exactly helping with his energy levels, no matter how much coffee he'd tried to have. He could do with some water, really. Or some food. Or some warmth...it was cold, wasn't it? Cold and...dark. Growing darker. Sasuke's body was heavy and growing heavier, and someone...someone was…
(I never asked for your help!)
Oh. Naruto was crying. Why was Naruto crying? Sasuke was alright...with this. Sasuke was okay with this. As long as Naruto...Naruto could achieve his dream, then…
(Why—)
Naruto was okay.
(Why would you do something so—)
Naruto would be okay.
(Sasuke—)
The voice was anguished, and hollow, and a broken whisper, but—
(Sasuke—)
It echoed in his head, over and over again—
(Sasuke—)
It grew louder, like a scream, like a desperate plea—
(Sasuke—)
Sasuke breathed in.
"Sasuke—"
Sasuke's eyes sprung open.
"Sasuke," said an older blonde with the same blue eyes and nothing at all on his cheeks, "hey. You fell asleep."
"What," Sasuke said, feeling as if he couldn't quite get enough air no matter how he breathed, "didn't you—what happened to your face?"
Naruto blinked.
"I—huh? What's wrong with my face?"
"Didn't you have scars—on your face?" Sasuke stared, and then stared again—it was as if a vision of Naruto merged onto the one in front of his face, and— "On your cheeks? I..."
The blood drained from Naruto's face.
"No," he said, eyes wide, "no, I—oh, this was such a stupid fucking idea."
It was like a breath, like a whisper of a thought Sasuke wasn't meant to hear. Sasuke opened his mouth, but Naruto straightened up and shoved a bag into his hands—
"Listen. Listen, Sasuke, you need to go. Take this and go."
"...What?"
"You need to go," Naruto said, pulling himself away with a pain so blatant if felt like something in Sasuke ripped—
"You need to go," Naruto said again, "and forget about—about the book, and forget about me. I'll—I'll move away. Don't come back here."
"Naru—"
"No—Sasuke. Listen—you—something is happening. Right? You feel it."
Sasuke...slowly nodded.
Naruto shook his head, and a tear broke free.
"It's my fault. I didn't think you—I wanted you to—listen. It doesn't matter. You don't want it to happen." Naruto's whisper broke. "I promise you, you don't. You're—you're happy, right? You've got a big family, and you work with Itachi, and you like Itachi, right?"
"How do you—" Sasuke breathed in, the thoughts spiralling through his head— "How do you know my brother's name?"
Naruto shook his head again.
"Get out of here, Sasuke. I mean it. Please."
"Naru—"
"Please."
Another tear slowly trailed down Naruto's face, and Sasuke looked into those unwavering, unrelenting, pleading eyes and felt—and felt something—
Something he had ignored for a very long time.
Something familiar.
"Alright."
Naruto was a fool.
The thunder crashed outside, and Naruto heaved out a breath, slipping down onto the floor. No one was coming in today. Especially not Sasuke. Especially not—
He swallowed a breath, blinking rapidly as he stared up at the ceiling, willing himself not to cry again—
He'd done the right thing. He'd done it. It was over, and this was worth it. He'd hid at the time Sasuke always came to work and he'd dodged all the windows all day and he—he'd just have to keep doing that. Keep—keep doing that. Right? Because abandoning this place—the closest link he had to the parents who had left him again—
Naruto pressed his face into his hands and let his pain break free.
It had been this pain in the first place that had awoken these memories. He'd thought he'd gone mad from grief. For the longest time, he thought—but it had been so real, so vivid, he'd barely been able to say any of it out loud until—
Until he'd started to heal, starting to take over the store and looked out the window in the morning and watched a young Sasuke Uchiha, face full of determination, walk a perfect stride beside his proud father.
He'd cried that day, too.
He hadn't spoken to him. How could he? Either Sasuke had forgotten him and it would rip his heart out, he'd remember him and it would rip Sasuke's heart out, or Naruto's mind had gone so far downhill that he'd unconsciously managed to create a fake world to justify a fake obsession and—
And none of those were good options.
Not even now, when he hung precariously between the first two.
Giving Sasuke the book had been a stupid idea. A stupid one—he'd regretted it as soon as it had left his fingertips, but god, he—he'd been right there. Right there and exactly the same, exactly the same, eyes and smile and everything about the way he spoke exactly as Naruto had so desperately remembered—
Except happier.
So much happier. He was happier, wasn't he? So what if he had to give up a vague memory of a tragic past and maybe a friendship that had driven them both to the ends of the earth together? It was worth it. It was worth it to see him smile so easily. So freely. Those eyes weren't haunted and those shoulders weren't weighed down—Sasuke was free, here. Sasuke was okay, here.
But then he'd walked in, and Naruto had recognized the fatigue in those eyes. Naruto knew exactly what Sasuke's nightmares looked like. How they left him. What they did to him.
He could never do that to Sasuke.
He could only hope, now, that the less they saw each other, the less Sasuke would remember. The more Sasuke would forget. He could only pray that the damage he'd done wasn't irreversible. He'd never forgive himself if it was. Sasuke would never forgive him—and rightly so. Naruto's flash of selfishness would ruin his life forever.
The thunder rumbled, and it brought Naruto back just enough to remind him to unclench his fists—to slow his breathing. Slow. Slower. Four seconds in, four seconds out—he hadn't fully realized how cold the floor was until now...his mom had hated it when he sat on the dirty floor, like this…
Over the sound of pouring rain, Naruto heard the unmistakable clatter of chimes.
He shoved his sleeves to his face and heaved in a breath as he jumped to his feet, spinning around to see—
Naruto's heart stopped.
"I thought you said," Sasuke said, pointing at Naruto with even his finger dripping wet, "you would never leave me alone."
Naruto breathed in.
"I—"
"You said that. You promised. You—"
"I didn't leave you alone!" Naruto said, and it sounded like a cry. The lightning flashed outside and Naruto forced himself to swallow, to breathe, to— "I didn't. You were never alone. You were—look at you. You've got everyo—"
"You never even spoke to me."
"But you weren't alone! You don't need me to be—"
"Idiot!" Sasuke snapped, and the thunder did the same— "If it's not you, then there's—"
Sasuke cut himself off, staring out into the rain with lips firmly pressed together and eyebrows furrowed with frustration, as if he was upset with what he'd nearly…
Admitted.
"If it's," Naruto said, breathing in the words, "not me?"
Sasuke looked back at him.
"You could live your life without me so easily?"
He could barely hear the words above the storm. He could barely make them out, but the moment he did—
"Easily?!" Naruto felt his anger rise up, felt it snap and rear—he was in Sasuke's face without a second thought. "You think this was easy?! You think living here, watching you, knowing that never talking to you was the best thing I could—"
Naruto cut himself off as the lump swelled up in his throat again. The tears would follow, he knew, and he needed to keep it together for once—
"It wasn't."
Naruto's head snapped up.
"What?"
"The best thing for me," Sasuke said, the lightning flashing against the side of his face, "it wasn't."
Naruto's breath started again.
"Don't lie to me."
"I'm no—"
"This can't be worth it!" Naruto snapped, but it sounded like a cry— "I can't be—there's no way you—"
Naruto shook his head, swallowing the rest of his words. He'd gone a lifetime without these words and he wasn't about to—
"Love you?" Sasuke asked, and Naruto's heart stopped.
"Sasuke—" he said, begging—
"The person you met a lifetime ago," Sasuke said, as unrelenting as always, pushing every button Naruto had, as always— "the person you know you want. That person—who are they?"
Naruto breathed in.
"Say it," Sasuke said, moving forwards. "Say it, or be a liar. Lie to me for the rest of your life, like you'd been planning on—"
"I wasn't trying to lie to you!"
"Then tell me who you love!"
"It's you!" Naruto yelled. "It's always been you, you asshole!"
The thunder crashed outside.
Naruto continued to breathe. Sasuke's lips were close enough that he could feel his breath too—as warm and fast and panting as his own, as if they'd just finished training together, as if—
Sasuke breathed in, and it was the only warning Naruto had. Sasuke lips were hot and fierce and his hands gripped Naruto's shirt with a strength that could tear it in two—Naruto pulled Sasuke's hair in kind and didn't let him leave, didn't let him leave, fuck, he'd almost let Sasuke leave—
When they pulled apart, it was only for air. Sasuke's face was flushed and his lips were swollen, his eyes were heavy and beautiful and unmistakably the Sasuke he'd always known—Naruto breathed in once, and then again, and then again, and then—
"Crybaby," Sasuke muttered, but Naruto didn't care. He stifled his sobs in Sasuke's neck and Sasuke clutched him just as tight, with breaths that shuddered and hitched, with a body that tensed and then loosened again—Sasuke leaned in close and Naruto felt his breath on his ear—
"It's always been you, too."
A/N: Aaaaaaa this was originally meant to be much fluffier, but...canon, y'know? Canon demands emotion. I hope I did it justice, and I really hope you liked it. It's my first try at this sort of trope in this way. I wouldn't be surprised if I try it again sometime :) I have lots of ideas.
Anyway! All the love to you all. I'll be thinking of you!
Until next time,
- Kinomi