Beth wanted to be alone. At least that's what she told herself when she unknowingly walked three blocks from the craft store to the bar. It was pretty much empty. Why wouldn't it be at 11:00 AM on a random Wednesday?

"What'll you have, ma'am?" The bartender asked as she propped herself up on the leather stool.

"Oh no, not ma'am. I don't look that old, do I? Well, I guess I could be your mother." Her response made the young bartender laugh in a nervous way like he wasn't sure if he should be laughing or not. Then his smile got a little bit brighter.

"I doubt it," he retorted. "I'm not as young as you may think. Just finished getting my masters believe it or not."

She snorted. He was humoring her. He was like what? A millisecond older than Kenny. Regardless, an accomplishment was an accomplishment.

"Well, congrats! You should pour yourself a drink. It's on me," she beamed. She was suddenly in a good mood. She felt like celebrating something; even if it was for something she didn't care about for a person she didn't even know. Better than drinking alone for no reason, right?

"Thanks, but no ,ma'- I mean, just no," he sensored himself. "Maybe after hours. I have a break in an hour if you're still here," giving her a boyish grin. Was he seriously flirting with her?

It was her turn to laugh. He had to be joking. He may not have just graduated high school, but he was definitely too young to be interested in her in any kind of way. Either way, she was flattered. It was always nice to have a little attention, even if it was from some kid behind a bar counter.

"You're sweet, but my plan isn't to stay that long. Just came here on my break. It was nice outside and I wanted to take a walk. Just kinda ended up here."

It sounded pathetic now that she said it outloud. Just ended up walking into a bar alone. He smiled at her, probably saving her from the embarrassment that she was feeling inside.

"Well, might as well relax on your break" He gently patted the table top. " In the meantime, would you like anything?"

It didn't even take her second to think about her choice. It rolled off her tongue easily.

"Yeah, a bourbon on the rocks, please."

"You got it," he smiled and she returned it as he knelt down for a glass.

Then it dawned on her as she looked down at the walnut wooden pub table and the empty black leather stools next to her that this was the place she met up with him that early afternoon. It felt like eons ago. So much had happened since then. Events she wanted to suppress into a dark space in her memory. Never let it out until she was on her deathbed if need be. Although that felt sooner rather than later most days.

"A bourbon on the rocks." The bartender placed the drink on a square napkin in front of her. He seemed to linger. There was only one other guy in the bar sitting at a table by a window far off with a laptop working diligently. "How long you been married?"

The question caught her off guard, but it made her look down at the absent ring on her left hand. What would make him ask her that? Seeing the confusion on her face, he chimed in again.

"A tan line. You have one where your ring would be," he mentioned plainly.

"Divorced," was her reply for a long 30 guy, she didn't even know his name, gave a somber look, but offered a small smile, anyway. "It's okay. It's been awhile. Almost a year and a half in June, but we were married for over 20 years."

"Wow, any advice?"

She raised her eyebrows, giving him a puzzled look. Advice? She should be the last person to give advice. She seemed to have a way of finding herself in messy situations, dragging others along for the ride no matter the cost. She had always been impulsive, even as a kid. She had to make quick decisions for herself and Annie for survival purposes. She thought she wanted a slow-paced life, but maybe she just wasn't wired that way no matter how much she faked it.

"I'm not sure you want advice from me. I'm no success story," she replied right before bringing the glass to her lips. The burn was good going down. He topped off her glass.

"You seem like you need it," he replied, shrugging his shoulders. Then he paused for a moment, taking her in with his eyes. She squirmed under his gaze after a moment too long had passed. "Although, at the same time you don't. You seem like someone who has it all figured out."

"I wish I did, but no one truly does. Everyone is always just figuring it out as they go. Same goes for relationships, I guess."

Suddenly she felt the air get warmer. Maybe the large windows were letting in all the sun. It made the bar cozy, and a little less sad. She glanced down at her phone to check the time. 12:19 PM. Had it really been that long? She really didn't feel like going back to the shop, but knew she had to get going soon.

Then she thought about what she told the guy. Same goes for relationships. Everyone just figures it out as they go. She wasn't lying, but it made it seem as if there was no work involved, and marriage had been the hardest thing she had done yet. And she had shot someone.

Well, not just someone.

"I'm going to close out my tab, thanks," she said taking out her wallet

"You got it."

He turned around to head to the register to get her bill. She watched him from behind like the creeper she had grown to become. He was on the slender side. If she were standing, he'd be about the same height as her. Scruffy light brown hair, which she would have loved 25 years ago. She always liked the surfer/athletic look when she was young. Guess TV and books made it seem like getting a guy like that was the dream. Turned out it wasn't the dream. Just a lot of headache and heartache once the facade faded into reality. Her taste had really come to change.

He came back with the bill and a pen, and began wiping down the area beside her. As she signed her name at the bottom, she thought that maybe she did have some advice to give him.

Don't rob the same place twice; that's a rookie move. Or maybe it was to just be a good person, and not just pretend to be one when it's convenient. Or not to get caught up in your own lies because it's so hard to dig yourself out of them.

"After 20 plus years of marriage and four kids, I think I do know something now," she said in a faux-confident voice. The one she used to put on with the PTA moms who were honestly crazier than she was.

"Yeah?" He looked up at her, intrigued and ready to listen to what she had to offer. He even head-nodded the man behind her on the laptop to let him know he'd be there in a minute, so as not to interrupt what she was about to say.

"Yeah," she took a slow breath. "Be with someone who believes in you."

And just like that she felt tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. Not really knowing where they were from, she quickly cleared her throat and wiped the wetness away before he could notice.

The bartender smiled at her that same shy smile from earlier.

"Agreed. You have a good rest of your day, Miss."

"Better than 'Ma'am'. I'll take it," she replied while hopping off the stool with a slight chuckle. As she walked out the bar and made her way back to work, she felt an ache in her chest; ignoring it since she didn't want to place the origin, she walked into the craft store with a bright smile. The same smile she always puts on when she was faking it to attend to old ladies and stay-at-home-moms.

Not the smile she hid inside when she was with only person who made her feel like she could be something,

And what a sweet smile it was.