Coming to you with MORE BENSTONE! I love them so! I don't know exactly where this story is going but I'm excited to write whatever it may be. Reviews are always nice xx.

Almost routinely the new life that she had just given birth to barely three weeks ago awakens her just before dawn with her cries. Without even opening her eyes just yet she reaches over to turn on the light on her nightstand, and it shows the reddened face of her little one. The boppy pillow she uses to nurse is already nearby on her queen size bed. She scoots her body up carefully, still feeling the pains from childbirth all too well. Finally she reached for her baby girl and placed her on the grey polka dot pillow, before releasing her breast and helping her daughter latch on. Olivia can barely keep her eyes open as she watches her nurse, feeding hungrily as if she hadn't been fed in days. It makes her laugh lightly as she brushes her fingers along her short brown hair.

She remembers her birth still so clearly.

"Olivia, look at your baby! Look down!"

She pushed for only 26 minutes before her baby girl just plopped out. And yes she means plopped out. Her labor had barely progressed for hours and next thing she knows, she's 10 centimeters dilated and panicked because she had forgotten everything she learned in her birthing class. It felt like in the blink of an eye she had a screaming little being on her chest with a head full of light brown hair.

Nick was the only one she had let be in the room with her that day. They hadn't spoken much over the years, but she put her pride aside and reached out to him when she found out she was pregnant. Without even asking he had flown out to Manhattan that same week.

He came to her first appointment and helped keep her pregnancy a secret until she couldn't visibly hide it any longer. He helped care for Noah when she was hunched over a toilet from morning sickness; didn't guilt trip her or make her feel like she was a horrible person for how she had fallen pregnant. She owed Nick everything. He used two weeks worth of vacation on her, and even stayed the first week home after bringing Violet home.

Violet Noelle Benson

It took Olivia months to decide, but Violet stuck. It's spunky and short, maybe that's why. She could call her Vi for short and give her a purple room. She could go with the theme at least until Violet was older and could decide for herself. Noelle just flowed. There wasn't any reasoning behind her middle name other than it was pretty, and she believed we all deserve a little pretty sometimes.

Her little one grunts a little to let her know she was done feeding, and Olivia moves her to her shoulder to burp her. She smiles to herself. Her daughter already had so much personality at only three weeks old, and she sometimes wishes Peter was here to witness it. It was her own doing though. She made the decision for the both of them that she wasn't going to tell him anything about the baby. He was leaving and they both agreed to the terms that it would only be one night they shared- just one; and at 45 she never gave the thought of an accident happening. But it did, and as much as being a single one of two terrified her, she couldn't even get herself to consider not having their baby.

Her pregnancy wasn't an easy one either. She was considered high risk having a baby in her forties, and being Captain of her precinct was already stressful enough. She made it to 37 weeks before she went into labor. Right there in the middle of a briefing in the bullpen her water had broken…

Her phone buzzed and of course it was a text message from Nick. He was three hours behind them in California, and she has no idea what he's doing up at this time over there.

You awake?

It makes the corner of her mouth upturn.

Of course. My new boss has me working crazy hours.

She goes for a lighter tone in her message. It was an ongoing joke between them. He always told her a newborn runs your life. He wasn't kidding.

It's only a few seconds before she gets a call from him.

"Hey Nick," she placed him on speaker and sat with Violet nestled in her arms. Another grunt escaped from her along with some gas and Olivia knew a poopy diaper was definitely on the way. "What time is it over there?"

"A little after four," he says it nonchalantly like he doesn't normally get up til about seven.

"What on earth are you doing up?"

"Just checking on you. Wanna make sure things are going okay with little miss Violet and Noah. How are you doing, Liv?"

"I'm alright," she looks down at her baby who's back to snoozing away and in definite need of a diaper change.

"You don't sound alright. Liv, talk to me," Olivia finds herself a lot more moved by his words than she should be, but then again hormones did that to you.

"Sometimes it gets a little difficult but I've got this," her voice strains a little. "Violet will be screaming because she needs me when I'm trying to get Noah dressed in the mornings. I'm trying so hard to make sure Noah knows he's loved just as much, you know," she sniffles and reaches to flick away the few tears rolling past her cheeks. "But Lucy offered to be here more without me even asking. She's gonna start coming over earlier and staying later to help me with Noah," Lucy was family at this point. She'd been with them since Olivia had to go back to work after getting Noah. She was one of the very very few people she trusted with her son.

"I wish I could be there for you," his words remind her how much she loves this man. He's her best friend and even almost 3,000 miles away he's here for her more than most. "If it weren't for the kids being here in Cali…"

"I know and I love you so much for that," sadness fills her. Olivia tries to remember it won't be like this for her entire life. A newborn is just hardwork and soon enough it'll even itself out. The phone is silent for a while and she's forever thankful that he just listens.

"Thank you for calling Nick."

"Promise you'll call whenever you need to?"

"As long as you give me your word that you'll get some sleep, and stop worrying about me?"

"I always worry about you."

"I know," her tone is soft spoken and pauses a moment more. "Good night, Nick," she ends the call and looks down at her daughter and gives her a kiss to the forehead before tending to the incredibly stinky diaper.

…

Moments after ending that call with Nick, Lucy had arrived and was already in the kitchen getting a quick breakfast ready for Noah. The fridge had been fully stocked thanks to her the day before. Olivia doesn't know what exactly she's done to deserve a saint like Lucy, but she is grateful for every bit of help she offers. While she cooked, Olivia woke her son up and helped him pick out clothes for school before sending him off to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Violet was asleep in her bassinet that Olivia kept next to her bed, and she knew she had at least one more hour until she would be up for another feeding. By then Noah would be off at school and Olivia would be left alone in this quiet apartment to care for her little one.

"There's fresh coffee and cut fruit," Lucy looks over at Olivia as she helps Noah with his shoes and his backpack. "I have class until noon, but I can bring you lunch or somethin' afterwards," it was Lucy's not so nonchalant way of making sure Olivia was eating and at least attempting to take care of herself.

"I'm sure I'll find something in the fridge. Thank you for that," she smiles, still dressed in floral pajama pants and a t-shirt to match.

"Don't worry about it," she reached to give Olivia's hand a squeeze and turned the knob of the front door. "Noah, give your mom kisses and hugs," he wraps himself around his mother's waist tightly and Olivia suddenly misses the days when he was still small enough for her to pick up. She bends down on one knee and hugs him close before kissing his sweet face.

"I love you. Be a good boy for Ms. Summers," she brushes a few of his auburn curls away from his face and gives him one more kiss to his forehead before letting him go.

"I will. Bye mommy! Bye Violet!" He whispers the last part. Noah was already so attentive to his little sister.

When Lucy opened the door she was met with the face of a man she had only seen a handful of times before. But Olivia- she had seen that face so many times she had every minute detail of it ingrained into her memory. She saw him everyday in their daughter when she looked at those green eyes that stared up at her so innocently.

Nothing could make this moment go away. No matter how long she closed her eyes, willing him to disappear, or clicked her heels and wished for him to go away, that just wouldn't happen. This moment she figured would happen years- decades from now, or best case scenario it would never happen. This is the risk she was willing to take when she decided to keep Violet a secret from him, but as big as the city was, news got around fast in law enforcement. Someone with Olivia's rank and longevity made it hard to keep such a beautiful blessing, as most called it, a secret.

Peter is dressed extremely casual for a Wednesday morning. Dark denim with tennis shoes, and a fitted hoodie. He stood like he had been waiting there a long time, debating on if this was really what he wanted to do and Lucy had just interrupted. She looked over her shoulder at Olivia who stood unmoving with her hands crossed over her chest, waiting for the go ahead that she would be okay here alone. She nodded slowly, gnawing at her lower lip in an effort to keep the tears from building.

"Hi Peter!" Noah greeted him as if it hadn't been close to a year since he had seen him. He didn't even flinch and waved at him before heading down the hallway to push the button for the elevator. A smile flashed across his face but his eyes remained sad as he looked on at the little boy. Lucy offered him a small grin and went on to chase down Noah, but not before looking back at Olivia once more.

The silence that falls between them is almost deafening. She doesn't know what to do or what to say, because she knows the exact reason why he's here. Months he had been gone, off to bigger and better things. There wasn't any way that Peter was just randomly thinking of her and wanted to rekindle something that was never truly there. One night. That's what they had agreed to and from then on they would wish each other the best, and root for one another from a distance.

But now distance was the last thing she would ever receive from him now. He's going to want answers- a chance to meet his daughter. She feels her chest rise and fall more rapidly as panic sets in. It all tumbles around her and she suddenly regrets it all. If she had just been honest with him from the beginning then they wouldn't be standing here in the middle of a perfect spring day with clouds of deceit looming over them.

"Liv," he says neutrally. His eyes can barely meet hers as he tries to gather his own emotions. He stands with his hand gripping the door frame for stability, the knuckles of his hands turning white. "Can I come in?" She nods and steps over the threshold that leads into her apartment. It's a defining moment. Nothing will ever be the same after today.

Olivia took a few steps back until she stood in the middle of her living room that held the evidence he needed. The plush swing in the corner, the blankets strewn over the couch, unused diapers and wipes she kept nearby. He didn't hide his curiosity as he looked over the room before eventually landing his eyes on her. She was tired, he could tell. Her eyes were a bit more red ringed with lack of sleep, and her hair had been clipped low away from her face. What stood out the most to him was the evident postpartum belly she wore.

"I'm sure you know why I'm here," he's soft spoken with his words. His hands are shoved into his front pockets waiting for her to respond- she can't. "Is it true?"

She can say it. She can do this.

"Yes," it comes out strangled because she's on her last leg. Her hormones are betraying her once again and she's a mess in front of him before she realizes it. She exhales harshly as the tears run along her cheeks. Peter stands with a few of his own and he tugs his hand down his face trying to contain his own emotions. He knew it was true the moment he heard about Captain Olivia Benson having another baby, a girl. The timeline was all too accurate for it to be anyone else's baby except his. But he needed to come here to get some truth- answers.

"I'm sorry," she took a seat on the sofa with her face covered in her hands. He paces the living room in an attempt to gather himself. Peter told himself repeatedly he wasn't coming here to just blow up on her. He wants to listen, to know why she thought keeping this from him was a good idea.

"I just want to know why?" He nearly shatters when he finds the strength to look over at her. "I've missed the birth of my own child-"

"Peter, I'm so sorry," she used the back of her hand to clear her soaked face. "We agreed to give in to one night. I didn't want you to think I had trapped you-"

"That wasn't for you to decide!" He snaps at her and instantly regrets it. She's already a mess, she just had his baby but he was hurting. She lied to him. "I didn't mean to yell," he holds his hands in surrender and goes to take a seat next to her. "The last thing I would have thought is that you were trying to trap me," he looks over at her reddened face and grabs her hand despite her resistance. She relaxes when she feels his thumb run along the back of her hand.

"Do you hate me?"

"I wanted to," he pauses. "But I can't. I want to make this right, Olivia. I hate that you thought I didn't want this baby- our baby," she looks up at him then. "I'm upset but you had your reasons and I understand that. I just hope from now on you'll let me be a part of her life."

"Violet," she smiles briefly just saying her baby girl's name. "Violet Noelle Benson," she says matter of factly. Her full name hurts him a bit, but what does he expect? He hopes maybe one day they can get that changed and hyphenated, but he will save that argument for later. For now he wants to grow, to learn how to be a great father to his little girl, and work on forgiving Olivia.

"Violet," he repeats. The name is stamped on his heart for good. It's the name of his daughter. A part of him still has so many questions for Olivia but for now he wants whatever bit of good he can take from today. He got all the confirmation he needed and he wishes that she'll let him see her today, to hold her. "Makes me think about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," the thought earns a smile from them both.

"Yeah," she exhales a small laugh and manages to look up at him directly without crying. "I really am sorry, Peter. I know I can never make up for the things you've missed, but I promise to keep you involved in her life as much as I can," she squeezes his hand that's still holding onto hers.

"Thank you," they sat silently for a little while until Violet's small whimpers came through the small monitor sitting on the coffee table. Peter felt his heart clinch at the sound. It made it all so much more real. He didn't even know what she looked like, if she got Olivia's nose or his green eyes, or even her goddamn birthday.

"I'm gonna go grab her," Olivia loosens her hand from his and lifts herself from the sofa and goes to grab Violet. He braces himself for what's to come next. He's anxious, excited, and terrified all at once once he hears Olivia's slipper shuffle on the wooden floors. She's holding the tiniest person he's swore he's ever seen. Violet is wearing a bright pink footed onesie and is suckling on a pacifier, her eyes are barely open and she's snuggled closely into Olivia. Suddenly his palms are sweaty and he realizes he's never held a baby this small before.

"Relax," Olivia laughed a little and moved in front of him to hand her over to him. "Just support her neck," he held her in the crook of his arm with his other arm beneath her little body. He feels the moisture on his cheeks and he doesn't plan on fighting the emotions swirling within him. Olivia is crying too. Everything has come full circle and led up to this moment. She knows she was crazy to think she would've kept Violet without her father for the rest of her life. As much as she tried to imagine her life with her two children, somehow Peter was always there.

Her decision has eaten at her for months and more intensely since Violet was born. Nothing felt whole or complete about her life just yet. Olivia convinced herself that Peter was better off and it should stay that way; but the image that stands before her proves so much more. Violet is content in her father's arms, and Olivia finally feels at ease. There's so much more for them to discuss, so many more questions she'll have to answer to but she's choosing to handle that at a later time. For now...for now she'll revel in this moment because it's what she deserves. It's what they both deserve.