I've been coming up with new one-shot ideas all the time... I know I should be working on my multi-chapter stories, but I can't help myself. I don't know how I can up with this, or why, but I did.

This takes place a few days before Weirdmageddon. I honestly had a lot of fun writing this, because it was just stupidly fun to think and write about.

I think I spent way more time on this than I should've... whatever. It was fun to write. I have no regrets.

Also, there will be a considerable amount of perspective changing in this story. I also took a few liberties with this... I warned you.

I don't own Gravity Falls.

Dapper Dipper

Dipper sighed. "I don't know Mabel... what else can we do?"

Mabel shrugged. "I don't know..."

The two twins were sitting on the edge of their beds, sighing. It was early in the morning, and the two were wide awake. They had been trying to think of some things they could do in Gravity Falls before the summer ended. Suddenly, Mabel got to her feet with a smile.

"I know! How about we make a bet?"

Dipper narrowed his eyes. "What kind of bet? What're the conditions and what're the stakes?"

Mabel smirked and walked over to Dipper to sit next to him on his own bed. "Well, we all know that you aren't very gentlemanly..."

Dipper rolled his eyes. "As if that wasn't clear already."

Mabel elbowed him in the side playfully. "Just listen, okay? How about, for the whole day, you have to be polite, gentlemanly, and you have to dress nicely. For once. You also have to talk in a silly, fancy way!"

Dipper rolled his eyes, though a grin was plastered on his face. "So in other words, you want me to be your personal servant for today?"

"What, are you a chicken?"

Dipper scoffed. "I am not! I'll do it. But what're the stakes?"

Mabel rubbed her chin. "How about, if I win, you have to watch all of the Dream-Boy High movies with me with the volume turned up to the max!"

Dipper groaned. "Really? Is there anything else?"

Mabel grinned. "Nope! Now, what do I have to do if you somehow win?"

Dipper narrowed his eyes in thought. "Hmmmm... I liked Stan's idea of a 'loser shirt'. If I win, you have to knit and wear a sweater that says 'I LOST A BET AND GAINED REGRETS'. And you have to burn the picture you have of me in a lamb-costume. Deal?"

Dipper extended his hand. Mabel took it with a grin. "Well, bro-bro, now you have to get dressed for the occasion! I'll give you a few minutes to get ready. But once you leave this room, it's hellooooo to Dapper Dipper!"

"...don't call me that. And I have one question... Can I still wear my hat?"

Mabel gave a stupid-looking smirk. "Nope! And you have to show off your birthmark today!"

"Awwwww, come on, Mabel! Really?"

Mabel grinned wider. "Really. And one more thing: you can't tell anyone that we made this bet. They have to think that you're just being weird today."

Dipper rolled his eyes. "Alright, fine."

Then she left Dipper in the room. He sighed. "I guess I'd better get ready..."

•••

Ford was sitting at the kitchen, with a newspaper in one hand and a cup of coffee in another. Stanley was sitting besides him, reading the newspaper as well.

Both of the great-uncles turned their heads as Mabel charged into the room. She had on one of the biggest, widest grin he'd ever seen.

"What's gotten you so excited?" Ford inquired, lifting a brow in curiosity. Mabel bounced up and down.

"Oh, just wait! Oh, here he comes now!"

Mabel turned her head as she, Ford, and Stan heard slow, clicking footsteps. In a few moments, Dipper was standing next to Mabel. Something was very off, though.

Instead of his usual vest and t-shirt, Dipper was wearing a black tuxedo with a white undershirt and a black bow-tie. And instead of shorts, he was wearing long black pants. Another difference was that instead of sneakers, he was wearing dress shoes. His hands were covered with white, considerably fancy gloves.

Probably the most questionable thing, though, was that he wasn't wearing his signature hat. And Ford realized, with a jolt, that he wasn't covering his birthmark at all. In fact, his bangs were swept to the side so that it could be clearly seen.

Ford just gaped in confusion at his nephew. The kid looked incredibly uncomfortable, even more so when he gave a small bow.

"Uhh... G-greetings... Great-uncle Ford..." he muttered, his cheeks red with embarrassment. "It's a pleasure to be here on this fine day..."

Mabel was covering her mouth with her hands, trying not to break out into loud laughter. Dipper then straightened and walked away, his face still red. However, Mabel whispered something in his ear when he was passing. Ford could just barely make out the words.

"Be more convincing next time..."

When Dipper was out of earshot, Mabel burst out into laughter. She wiped a tear from under her eye.

"Uhhhh, is anyone gonna explain what just happened?" Stan asked. Ford, however, was speechless. What just occurred was beyond anything he could comprehend.

Mabel finished laughing before she started grinning widely again. "Oh, it's nothing... I just have a new brother! He's not Dipper anymore! He's Dapper Dipper!"

She began laughing again, clutching her stomach because apparently, she was laughing that hard.

Ford decided not to ask Mabel any more questions. She obviously wasn't going to answer. It seemed like she was thoroughly enjoying what was happening.

"Riiiiiiiiighhhhht..." Ford drawled. "I'm going to go talk to Dipper..."

"Dapper Dipper," Mabel corrected. Ford placed his cup of coffee and his newspaper on the table and headed out of the kitchen.

Ford looked around the housing area of the shack. He couldn't find his great-nephew there, so he opened the door to the gift-shop. What he saw was not what he was expecting.

Dipper was standing besides the door that led outside with his gloved hands behind his back. His legs were pushed together, and his posture was straighter than he'd ever seen before. The kid had his eyes opened a bit, and a neutral expression on his face. However, Ford could see the corner of his mouth twitching uncomfortably.

The gift-shop was closed today, so Ford was even more confused. Why was Dipper just standing there?"

"Uhhhh... Dipper? What's going on?" he asked tentatively.

Dipper looked up into his great-uncle's eyes, and nervousness glittered in his own. However, his voice was calm and unwavering when he spoke.

"Lady Mabel has requested that I wait for her arrival until she has readied herself to go into town."

Ford opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Did he just say 'Lady Mabel'? What is this kid even saying? I've never heard him talk like this...

Dipper must've noticed his loss of words, as the neutral expression that had been plastered onto his face faltered a bit, becoming a little redder as his eyes darted to the side.

"Dipper, are you feeling okay?" Ford asked. Once again, Dipper got rid of the embarrassment and nervousness on his face, though the calm expression was incredibly forced.

"Why yes, I'm feeling better than I've ever felt before! I do thank you for you concern, however."

Ford shook his head in confusion. He still had no idea what was going on.

•••

Dipper restrained himself from telling Ford that he was not feeling okay. This whole act of his was so alien to him, and Dipper almost gagged whenever he had to speak.

"Why yes, I'm feeling better than I've ever felt before! I do thank you for your concern, however."

Ford shook his head, probably in confusion. "Dipper, what the heck is wrong with you?"

Dipper forced himself to put on a small smile. "There is nothing wrong with me at all. Like I said before, I'm feeling better than I have ever been. My mind is clear of all inhibitions that may have plagued it in the past."

The last sentence was a complete lie. In truth, he felt like an stupid idiot who was embarrassing himself trying to win a bet that he only had a slim chance of winning.

Ford didn't seem to believe a word he said. But before he could ask any more questions, Mabel charged into the gift-shop with Stan following.

"We're going to the diner! Do you wanna come, Grunkle Ford?" Mabel asked with her head tilted. Ford nodded, still casting suspicious glances at Dipper.

Dipper ignored them and pushed the door to the outside open. Then he stood by it to block it from retracting, and so he was holding it. Mabel gave him a goofy smirk as she passed, while Ford and Stan just stared at him, bemused.

Dipper stifled a sigh. Today was going to be a long day.

•••

Ford was still in the dark as to the reason of Dipper's strange behavior. He couldn't tell why the kid was acting like this, and half of him felt like he didn't want to know why.

He glanced up at the mirror to look at him. Dipper had his still-gloved hands crossed neatly over his lap, and his back was still straight. Ford was used to seeing Dipper slouching, so Ford was even more confused.

They were driving down the road, Stan at the wheel. They drove in relative silence, until Stanley decided to break it.

"Sooooo... uh... What's with the fancy look, kiddo? Are you... okay?" he asked with his eyes looking in Dipper's direction.

Dipper merely gave a small nod of his head. "I assure you, I am perfectly fine. Now, if it is of no inconvenience to you, I request that you not spoil this lovely day with unreasonable worry, Sir."

Stan visibly stiffened with shock, and Ford knew why. Since when does Dipper call anyone 'Sir'?

Mabel giggled quietly. Her eyes sparkled with a mixture of amusement, delight, and what looked like the enjoyment of Dipper's strange behavior. Dipper must've noticed, because his cheeks reddened, but only slightly.

Ford turned his eyes back on the road. What is wrong with him? Why is he acting so weird today?

Ford received no answers. He looked up as the diner came into view, and as Stan parked the car, he unbuckled his seat-belt and hopped out.

He was surprised to see that Dipper was holding the car-door wide open for Mabel. "We have arrived, Lady Mabel. I thoroughly hope that everything inside is to your liking," he muttered as he did. Mabel hopped out of the car, trying not to break out into laughter again.

Dipper shut the door. And followed the group as they headed towards the diner. A car was about to drive in front of the group, but Dipper calmly stepped forward with one hand behind his back and one raised into the air. The message was clear: Wait.

And so the car waited as Ford, Stan, and Mabel crossed over to the diner. They waited until Dipper lowered his hand and walked back to join the group.

He stepped forwards again to hold the door open, all the while with a neutral expression on his face. The group stepped in and Dipper closed the door.

The diner was relatively empty that day. The only people there were the two police officers, and all members of the Corduroy family. Which included Wendy. Ford had a feeling that she would be confused at Dipper's sudden change in behavior, as well.

As the group passed the redhead, she gestured for the two younger twins to come over. While Mabel ran right on ahead, Dipper turned to his great-uncles and dipped his head slightly.

"Please excuse me for a moment. I will be back in no time at all, I assure you."

And then he walked away, Ford still as clueless as ever.

•••

Wendy knew that Mabel and Dipper were odd people. Everyone did. It was on rare occasions when either of them acted anywhere close to normal.

But today, Dipper was way stranger than usual. It had taken her a few moments to recognize him, if she was being honest.

Why? Because Dipper was dressed in a tuxedo and a bow-tie. And his hat was missing. More surprising, Dipper's hair was swept aside so that his birthmark was showing.

Wendy knew that Dipper hated having his birthmark showing; he had told her himself. So this instantly confused her. Why was he suddenly fine with it showing?

The next thing that unnerved her was the way he greeted her. It wasn't his usual "hey there" or "what's up" or even just "hey". No, instead he literally bowed.

"I am pleased to make your acquaintance on this fine day." Then he stood up straight again with his arms folded behind his back.

Mabel had a smile on her face that Wendy thought was too wide to be humanly possible. The girl was obviously trying not to laugh.

If Dipper noticed his sister's struggling not to laugh, he chose to ignore it.

Wendy decided to brush the whole thing off, though she was still bemused. "So, what're you dorks doing?"

"Nothing much. We were just hungry so we came down here. Isn't that right, Dapper Dipper?" she grinned, glancing at her twin.

Dapper Dipper? Wendy thought. Is that a new nickname?

Dipper bowed his head slightly in agreement with Mabel's words. "Yes, I must admit that it is too splendid a day to stay indoors at the comfort of one's home."

Wendy stared with an open jaw at Dipper. She had no idea what was happening.

"Are you feeling okay, dude?" Wendy asked, having no idea that that was the fourth time that somebody had asked that.

Dipper smiled slightly. "I am of no concern to you, madam. I am as fine as I will ever be, dare I say more than thought possible."

Okay, something was definitely wrong. When had Dipper ever called her madam? And when had he started speaking like this?

He didn't give her a chance to ask any more questions, however. He bowed his head slightly. "I apologize, but I must be going. I look forward to running into you again in the future."

Then he turned, still with his hands behind his back, and walked away.

Wendy turned to Mabel with utter confusion on her face. "What was that about?"

Mabel shrugged. "Nothing..."

But Wendy knew that she knew more than she was letting on.

•••

Dipper held the door open again as the group exited the diner. Part of him was relieved to be leaving, as it was very uncomfortable keeping up his act inside, but part of him was nervous about what would happen next.

Ford had had a very confused expression on his face the whole time in the diner. Dipper could still feel his great-uncle's suspicious gaze on him.

They walked only a few feet away from the diner when a car pulled up by the side of it. Dipper almost let out a groan of annoyance.

It was a long limousine. It wasn't hard to tell who it belonged to: The Northwests.

It was already uncomfortable when I had to do this in front of Ford, Stan, and Wendy. Now I have to do it in front of them too?

A man, probably the butler, stepped out of the car and held the door open for Preston Northwest.

Yeesh, did I really look like that when I was holding the door all those times? Maybe I can find a memory gun to erase Ford and Stan's memories about this whole thing later...

Preston instantly saw the Pines family, as he was standing only a few feet away. His eyes narrowed in disgust as he gazed at them. Only when he glanced at Dipper did his expression lift a bit.

Oh please no... Don't talk to me... Please doooooonnnnn't...

His silent pleas were ignored.

"Hmmmm... I don't know how you could afford a servant."

Really? You think I'm a servant? This guy is so dumb he doesn't even recognize me. Dipper resisted the urge to slap Preston in the face. He wanted to, but Mabel was still watching, and he couldn't risk losing the bet.

Dipper, again, forced a small smile onto his face. He didn't know how he didn't throw up as he greeted him.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance on this fine day..."

Preston lifted a brow. Then he dug into his pocket to pull out a couple of one-hundred-dollar bills.

"How much?" he asked.

Ford crossed his arms and tilted his head in confusion. "How much for what...?"

Preston gave off an infuriatingly snooty laugh. "Why, for your servant, of course."

Alarm bells started going off in Dipper's head. Ohhhh nooooo... No no no no no no no no no...

Dipper forced himself to keep his calm composure on the outside, though.

Ford looked utterly baffled by Preston's question. "H-he's not our s-"

Preston ignored Ford. He only placed a one-hundred-dollar bill in Ford's hands, and snapped. Preston's butler grabbed Dipper by his wrists in his vice-like grip.

Oh gosh, oh no no no no no no nooooo...

•••

Pacifica didn't care too much when her father said he was leaving on some "business errand". However, she wasn't expecting him to come back with a kid.

At first, Pacifica couldn't tell who it was. He looked familiar, but he was so well dressed...

And then Pacifica realized with a jolt that it was Dipper. What's he doing here?

It was clear to her that he didn't come on his own accord. One of the Northwests' butlers was practically dragging him through the manor. Though most of his face seemed neutral, his eyes were bright with unease.

"Pacifica, darling," Preston called. "I've got a gift for you."

Pacifica's breath caught in her throat. Did he seriously just kidnap Dipper and bring him here...? Oh gosh, what is even happening right now...

Pacifica and Dipper stared at each other, Pacifica with confusion and Dipper with panic. Pacifica was left even more baffled when Dipper bowed to her, and greeted her quietly, with only the slightest trace of panic in his tone.

"I'm humbled to be in your presence this evening."

Then Dipper straightened, the corner of his mouth twitching uncomfortably. Preston looked particularly pleased at the display.

"Do whatever you wish with him," Preston told her with a wave of his hand. Then he and his butler walked away. The moment they were out of earshot, Pacifica grabbed Dipper by his shoulders and shook him.

"What the heck is going on here!?" she hissed. Dipper glanced around to make sure nobody could see or hear him, before he sighed in momentary relief.

"Look, I hardly understand what's going on... Your father basically just kidnapped me," he whispered.

"But why were you acting so weird? Why were you talking weird, why are you dressed weird, and what the heck is that on your forehead?"

Dipper flinched slightly. "It's just my birthmark. As for the rest, I'm not supposed to tell anyone, but I made a bet with Mabel."

Pacifica raised a brow. "What kind of bet?"

Dipper sighed in exasperation. "She basically said that I had to be her personal servant for the day. And then Preston literally bought me!"

Dipper growled the last two words with his head shaking. He lifted his head when he heard footsteps. Pacifica looked, too.

Preston came back. As soon as Dipper saw him, he straightened again, folded his arms behind his back, and put on a neutral expression that was only betrayed by the apprehension that flitted in his eyes.

"Pacifica darling, I must be leaving again," Preston said. Pacifica nodded, still not over the shock of what had previously happened.

Once again, when Preston left, Pacifica turned to Dipper. "Did you say that he bought you?"

Dipper nodded grimly. "He shoved his money in my great-uncle's hands and pulled me into his car."

Pacifica groaned. "I should've known he would do something like this at some point..."

"Look, Pacifica, I need to get out of here... Any ideas?"

Pacifica thought for a moment. "Well, we could try just leaving, but we might run into one of the butlers or one of the guards or something."

Dipper sighed. "That's what I was afraid of. I don't think we have any other options, though..."

"Then let's go."

Dipper nodded slowly. "Alright, but I'm going to be doing that weird 'servant act' the whole time we're walking... I don't want anyone coming around the corner or surprising us."

Pacifica nodded slightly. She saw his reasoning, but she still felt weird with Dipper acting like a servant.

As they set off, Dipper folded his arms behind his back again and drained his expression of emotion. Even his eyes didn't seem panicked anymore.

They went a short distance before they ran into one of the guards that patrolled the halls. The guard narrowed his eyes in suspicion as he gazed at Dipper.

"Who's this?" he grunted. Pacifica didn't know how to explain, but luckily, she didn't need to.

"I am just a humbled servant to the Northwests. I assure you, my presence is not to be concerned of."

The guard glanced at Pacifica as if asking for confirmation. She nodded wordlessly.

"Eh, fine. But if you make on wrong move I'll snap you in half," he growled, staring at Dipper with narrowed eyes.

Dipper didn't even flinch. He merely gave a slight nod of his head. "I don't doubt that you would, but I can guarantee that I will be of no inconvenience to you."

The guard nodded and let them pass. Pacifica sighed in relief and turned to Dipper.

"Where did you learn to speak like that?" she whispered.

"I have literally no idea," Dipper replied in a whisper. Pacifica rolled her eyes.

"Of course you don't..."

•••

Mabel had just wanted the day to be fun. She thought her little bet with Dipper would be nothing but entertaining.

She didn't know that Dipper would've been taken away by Preston.

He just kidnapped my bro! And Preston has some nerve 'buying' Dipper. Dip-Dip's not an object!

Ford, Stan, and Mabel were in the car, all of them confused and angered. They were driving up the hill to the Northwest's mansion. Their car was somehow slower than the limousine, so they lost sight of it after a while.

It took many minutes before they arrived atop the hill. Mabel bolted out of the car the moment it stopped and stood in front of the gate that led to the mansion.

She could see the limousine on the other side of the gate. It looked like it had been there for a few minutes.

Is Dipping-Sauce already inside? Oh gosh, why did I have to make this bet!?

Mabel rattled the gate. "LET ME IN, YOU DUMB RICH-PEOPLE! NOBODY TAKES MY BRO!"

There was no reply, and Mabel sighed.

Ford placed a hand on her shoulder. "I don't think screaming is the way to get in..."

"Yeah! We should break in!" Stanley exclaimed.

"Stanley, no, that's not a good idea-"

"It's perfect!" Mabel interrupted. She pulled out her signature grappling hook and shot it at the top of the gate. It hooked onto the top.

She grinned widely and tugged to make sure it was on securely. Then she turned to Ford, who was shaking his head.

"You are definitely related to Stanley," he grumbled.

Mabel rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Who's going over first?"

•••

Dipper groaned to himself. After they passed the guard, they had passed two more people. Each encounter was so rage-inducing, Dipper was surprised he didn't slap anyone he met.

"Pacifica, why is this place so big? It shouldn't take ten minutes to find an exit."

Pacifica shrugged. "I guess my parents just enjoy inconvenience."

Dipper rolled his eyes. "You don't say."

They continued walking down the halls. Dipper reverted back to his neutral expression, though his eyes flashed with slight relief as they came to a large door.

"That's the way out," Pacifica let out a sigh of relief. Dipper's shoulders sagged slightly. He just wanted this day to end.

He straightened again and pushed the door open. Then he held it, just in case anyone was watching. He shut the door when Pacifica came out.

Dipper turned to look at the gate, when he saw something climbing over it.

"Wait... Is that Mabel?" he asked, shielding his eyes from the sun. Sure enough, it was Mabel.

"Is she climbing over the fence?" Pacifica gasped. "This day is so weird!"

Dipper rolled his eyes with a groan. "Tell me about it."

Mabel must have seen them, because as she sat at the top of the fence, she waved. "Is that you, bro-bro?"

Dipper cupped his hands around his mouth. "Yeah, I'm coming."

•••

Dipper stifled a groan. "Oh come on, Mabel. Do I have to watch it?"

Mabel rolled her eyes. "It could be worse. I'm only making you watch one of the Dream-Boy High movies."

"You're still going to burn the photo though, right?"

"A deal's a deal."

It was the day after the bet. Because everything got a little... crazy... at the end of the bet, Mabel and Dipper compromised: Dipper only had to watch one movie, and Mabel would burn the photo.

They had also told their great-uncles about the bet. Both of them were still a bit confused; Ford wanted to know why Dipper even agreed to the bet, to which Dipper just shrugged.

As the movie started, Dipper flinched away from the loud, infuriating music that played in the background.

"This is worse than death itself. Worse. Than. Death."

Mabel gave Dipper a smug glance. "That's not very nice," she pouted. "You know, I haven't burned the photo yet... I still have enough time to show it to Ford..."

"Fine, I'll shut up. Just burn the photo."

"Alright, Dipper. Alright."