Kim's Point of View: Hopeless
I stood looking at my reflection in the mirror. This wasn't me; my eyes red and puffy. I was so fragile and broken. I never wanted to be this way, but there was no denying what happened to me.
Where did the old Kim go? The one who laughed and smiled? The one who was in love with Jared and was a part of this pack? The one who trusted men and was treated as a human being?
She left a month ago. She left when two monsters came for her at night as the sun was setting. She left when they left her in the alley after they had ravished her and left her a prisoner in her own body.
I know it was only a month ago when those men grabbed me and reduced me nothing. But I could still feel them rip off my clothes as I screamed. I could still feel the cuts their fists made on my skin to shut me up. I could see the eyes of the man that entered my body and broke me. The tears flowing down my cheeks onto the cold concrete that cut into my back.
"Kim?" I heard a voice ask. I jolted awake from the memories and turned away from the window to see Jake standing behind me.
"Kim, are you okay?" Jake asked again, taking a step forward cautiously. I shook my head to snap back into reality.
"Yes, sorry I just zoned out." I choked out. I wish I could have smiled at him to reassure him, but I haven't smiled in a month. Not for Jared, not for anyone. Not even little Killian who was so adorable to watch.
"Kimmy, you're crying." Jake pointed to my tears. I didn't even realize I had been crying. I slowly lifted my hand to my face and wiped away the tears.
"I guess I've been crying so much that I don't even realize anymore." I whimpered before finally collapsing to the ground. I kept crying and crying. Jake's words of comfort sounded miles away. All I could hear was the sound of his groans against my skin. All I could see was the vine tattoo on pale skin. All I could smell was the smell of blood from that awful night. All I could taste was blood in my mouth. All I could feel was being forced to the ground.
I was caught in a loop of memories when suddenly Jake slowly put his hand on the ground next to mine with his palm up. I felt weak and worthless and here he was waiting for me to grab his hand. I felt agony in my heart but I knew I had to keep moving forward. It was the only thing that kept me from wanting to end the agony.
"Your hand, the floor, the birds, my tears, shampoo." I slowly repeated until I gained control over the darkness. I then slowly took Jake's hand as he helped me up. I then slowly went to make coffee and poured Jake a cup.
"Kimmy, does that happen a lot?" He asked me taking a sip of his coffee. I slowly drank my coffee ignoring the question.
"Kimmy?" He repeated.
"Every time I close my eyes, I feel them. I see their blonde hair and tattoos. I feel him on top of me. I feel the rain hit my skin and hear their laughter. That's what is killing me. I can't escape the memory." I choked out shaking. Jake slowly grabbed my hand again and I let him.
"Kim, I hate myself for telling you this. But you have every right to know that the Cullens have the two men captured right now. Tomorrow morning they will let the pack know." He said squeezing my hand. His eyes were full of shame and regret letting me know what they planned on doing.
"We aren't murderers Jake." I whispered.
"Kim, these men took away everything from us. They hurt you, they are haunting you right now. Not to mention Jared. Don't you think…?" He started to stutter shocked at what I said.
"Jake, we aren't murderers. My husband is not and will never be one." I reaffirmed with tears in my eyes.
"Kim, I understand. But Seth and Embry have…" He argued.
"And they paid the price for it. They are haunted by those men even if they meant to harm us. I won't see anyone have blood on their hands to avenge me." I argued standing up. Jake sat there breathing heavily. We stared at each other for what felt like years.
"Okay." He finally choked out. I stood their shaking.
"Okay we agree?" I asked.
"Tomorrow when the pack finds out, I will make the command. We will not be murderers." Jake said standing up shaking my hand.
*** This starts from the last Chapter of "Be Still" written by me years ago. I promise that I am the same author but lost the ability to get back into my account. If you don't believe me, then just ignore this story and this profile. But if you do believe me, the story will get picked up as you wanted. Thank you for staying loyal after all these years and I hope you will believe it is me. Enjoy.