He'll admit, it's been really lonely ever since Trevor and Sypha left. He really didn't think about it when he agreed on being the keeper of his father's castle as well as the Belmont's library of how-to-kill-monsters and proves-of-their-efforts-at-killing-monsters. Honestly though, the hell is he supposed to do with two giant empty strongholds? Clean them? Don't be ridiculous. Does he look like a maid to you?
After doing the same things over and over again everyday for the past few months or years, who knows, he regrets agreeing to Trevor's stupid idea of making two empty strongholds his home. He knew Trevor's an idiot, he has no idea why the hell he stooped so low as to listen to Trevor. He should have instead just taken a stake to the heart or put himself in a coffin for the next 300 years. He's starting to see his regression into becoming batshit insane (haha batshit), so he makes dolls of Trevor and Sypha to pretend that he has friends but he thinks that just makes him even crazier. All that does is give him reminders of how he helped them murder his father...Oh yea, there's that too. He's a murderer now. Yay.
So anyway, Trevor and Sypha left him after the job was done and he's been really lonely, so when the two Japanese siblings appeared in his forest asking for his help and guidance on killing monsters, he was so god damned happy he finally had someone to talk to. Never mind how they even managed to arrive here from this fabled land called Japan, they are the only people who actually comes to visit him and he doesn't even care that their conversations consists half the time of guessing what each other is trying to say in their respective languages and a quarter of him teaching them how to read Romanian. The last quarter consists of him making dinners because the siblings are hungry and the last quarter of the quarter is him actually trying to teach them how to fight monsters. In his honest professional opinion, he thinks their progress is very efficient and at the same time allows them to stay with him for longer before they decide they've learned enough and leave him. That's totally ok because they look like they are having fun and when they are having fun he is having fun, and when everyone is having fun then it doesn't matter that they stay for a little longer.
The kids (at least, he thinks they act like teenaged kids. He never actually asked how old they are.) are pretty smart. They've managed to learn how to read Romanian, how to fight a vampire with a sword, and read through a quarter of the Belmont's library all under a week. He's pretty proud of them, and the fact that he's such a good teacher slash mentor that they keep asking him to teach them more. Unfortunately, though, he's quickly running out of things to teach them (and food), so he's been spending more time hunting and cooking food than teach them new things the past two days. They seem pretty happy, as they always are when he makes them food, and they hold hands with each other as they talked about how mistreated they were back in Cho's court and how they only have each other.
He's a little envious that they have each other to deal with their hardships together, and he briefly wonders how it's like to have a sibling. While he wouldn't really want to share his patents' love and attention with a younger kid like him, at the same time if he has a sibling he wouldn't be as alone as he was after he murdered his father, and mayyybe his younger sibling would even be the one to do the murdering instead! It seems like the pros of having siblings far outweighs the cons. So What if he adopts the Japanese siblings as his own siblings? First, his parents are both dead so he wouldn't have to share anything with them, and second, they are aspiring monster hunters, so once they grow up to become professional hunters, and if somehow some evil humans decide to go revive his father, they will be very happy to go murder his father instead of him!
It's a perfect plan and he's so proud of himself for figuring that one out. There's just...one riveting question he would really like answered.
Why are the three of them having sex again?
Don't get him wrong, he's not complaining about the sex. Because the sex feels good. God damned does it feel good, so good that he's crying because he's never felt so good in his life…..And, two at once for his first time? Wow. He's pretty sure God is frowning down at him right now but he was born to go to hell anyway so it doesn't really matter what God thinks. No, the sex isn't the issue.
The kids told him to go to sleep and they all wear the same matching PJ like a happy family, and so he was trying really hard to fall asleep on the bed despite it being night time and he doesn't sleep at night. But then, they come into his room without knocking (his father would have scolded them for lack of manners), say something about a reward which he has no idea what they are referring to (maybe it's the language barrier again), and then they're having sex. He's so confused about what's happening that he doesn't do anything when they start kissing him, and by the time he realises what's happening it's too awkward to stop. What's this reward thing they were talking about? Why does he need to be rewarded, and why do they assume he wants sex as a reward? Does he really look that horny to them? Is it something on his face? No one has ever told him he has a resting horny face and he sure as hell hope it isn't true. Maybe it's something he said that got misinterpreted in Japanese? Maybe he'd said something like "Hey let's eat dinner" (which he'd said a lot) and they misheard it and thought he said "I WANT SEX". Who knows, maybe he should travel to Japan and learn Japanese.
Also, maybe it's because he doesn't have a sibling and that his own teenage years passed by really quickly, and even though he knows that he's pretty damn good looking that people would want to have sex with him, he still can't quite understand being so horny that you'd want to have sex with someone you've only known for a week at with your sibling. He's pretty sure his mother told him something about God not liking people who have sex with their siblings (or was it the church? He didn't really pay attention, regrettably.), but maybe in the fabled land called Japan their God is more open-minded about something like this? Maybe, there is some sort of cultural difference that he's not understanding. Maybe if he had a sibling he'd understand their need to get so intimately close to each other. Also, technically, the siblings are not having sex with each other. They are just having sex at the same time, with the same person, in the same room. So maybe, they won't get smited into the depth of hell as harshly by God as they otherwise would have been, if he remembers his mother's teachings correctly.
Anyway, he's still pretty confused now that they are done-
Whoa. Whoa. Hey hey hey! What are they doing with that wire thing and the hand cuffs?!
Ouch. That hella hurts, dude and dudette! It burns!
He most definitely hasn't asked to be tied up. Well, he hasn't ask for any of these sex things but whatever, it's too kinky for him for his first time!
Hang on, why are they bringing out weapons? And why are they pointing it towards him?
No. Nonononono. Sword! Help!
Oh dear. That's a lot of blood. They're getting all over the white sheets! Now he'll have to wash the sheets and he's not even a maid! What a mess!
Are they dead? Oh nooo. He feels a little bad, just enough that he has to go lie down where his father died and pray for forgiveness. Then he remembers that he'd also murdered his father and he's already a murderer, and all he's done is add two more body count to his murderee list. And he doubts praying to his father or whichever denizens of hell is going to help him gain forgiveness, especially since murder is like, their thing. Oh well. Too bad then.
Hang on a minute. Now that he thinks about it while he's on the floor stained with his father's murdered dust, the siblings wanted to have sex with him first and then murder him? Didn't their parent teach them not to play with their food, that it's bad manners? Oh wait, they were sold when they were kids. No wonder. But geez, now he sort of understand how his father felt. Some humans really are messed up, and they seriously have really bad manners! And he'd started to trust and like them too. What a shame. Maybe his father had a point. Maybe he shouldn't have murdered his father afterall.
Welp. So he has two dead bodies on the bed now. And on the same train of thought as understanding how his father felt, maybe he'd feel better if he does something his father used to enjoy doing with bodies so much.
There. Impaled on a nice, sturdy stick, one for each of them. Such lovely, beautiful work of art. He feels a little better now and he bet his father would be really proud of him.
Not my proudest work but oh well. Obviously, I didn't take this too seriously, and neither should you. :)