Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroko no Basket
It starts with a letter. A familiar handwriting in a slightly crinkled envelope by the hands of its sender.
It starts with carefully written words of resignation and tears marks in the paper; with a rigid hand holding out the envelope for him to accept.
It stars with down cast eyes covered by the light blue hair; with a pale skin that seems to fade from his vision; with slumped shoulders that once held hope and determination.
It starts with the whisper of an apology, lost in the silence of the room and the madness of the conscience.
It starts with a retreating back and fading footsteps.
It starts with the closing of a door.
It starts with a cough.
Seijuurou doesn't love.
He has no need for such feeling-a hindrance for his eternal path of perfection; a deviation of his goals.
Love is a weakness. It's giving yourself to someone. It's dependence. It's losing control over yourself. It's irrationality. It's the opposite of everything Seijuurou stands for.
Therefore, Seijuurou does not love.
Because he's always in control, always logical, always perfect. He's above such need of validation.
(Any love he could have felt died together with his mother.)
The flowers come anyway.
They are small and delicate, with a pretty shade of blue that fades into white at the center.
Seijuurou thinks it would be prettier if only with a lighter shade of blue.
Seijuurou knows what it means-to cough flowers. But he ignores it and flushes them all.
'Impossible', he thinks.'I would never commit such mistake.'
He doesn't give himself to anyone, he doesn't depend on people's thoughts of him, he doesn't have weakness. Seijuurou doesn't love.
But he spits pretty flowers when no one is looking and wakes up in the middle of the night to throw up petals.
Seijuurou refuses to believe it.
(In morbid curiosity, he searches the meaning of the flower.
It's laughable.)
Middle school ends in a fluid motion and no problem arise. As he expected The Miracles go their separate ways, ready to face each other on the court, and no one knows about his condition.
Seijuurou meets with Tetsuya at the end.
(It's been so long. I miss-)
Tetsuya has yet to find his answer, but he meets Seijuurou eyes, unwavering.
He won't run away anymore.
Seijuurou breathes a little easier.
Going to Kyoto worsen his health.
Seijuurou fights the queasiness as he makes the speech at the opening ceremony. He refuses to show any discomfort. He's an Akashi, he has no weakness.
Seijuurou loathes this feeling.
Finding Chihiro is a surprise, one that makes him cough more flowers for two weeks. Again, Seijuurou ignores the implications and, instead, focus on making Chihiro a better version of the Phantom Player.
'It's for the victory', he tells himself. 'Not silly sentimentalism.'
He fails to see the implication of that.
Seijuurou hears the rumors about Seirin.
That week the training regime is triplicated.
The Inter High ends with Rakuzan victory and, as Seijuurou expected, Seirin doesn't make it past Daiki. It won't end there, thought.
He looks at the flowers in his hands.
As Tetsuya has yet to give up, Seijuurou has yet to attain absolute victory. The road still is long.
Winter Cup starts and, for the first time since middle school, The Miracle assemble. Seijuurou does not feel the anticipation, but he throws up before going to the meeting and ends up late.
He sees the light blue and knows this is the right color and not the one that paints the flowers in his lungs.
But he pushes the thought to the back of his mind and focuses on what's in front of him, namely the outsider hiding behind Tetsuya.
It infuriates him, but no more than when Kagami Taiga invites himself to their meeting, hovering above Tetsuya, who accepts his presence easily as breathing.
Seijuurou could almost feel the roots in his lungs digging deeper and the flowers growing bigger.
He doesn't accept it.
Seirin, miraculously, makes to the final. And isn't it ironic that the one Miracle no one knows, no one remembers, is the one to perform the biggest miracle Seijuurou could imagine? Isn't it ironic that Tetsuya is the one to always surprise him?
Seijuurou thinks of the flowers that takes his breathe away.
'No, it isn't.'
Once he wins this game, the flowers in his lungs will be gone.
Once it's all finished, he will be perfect again.
Seijuurou already knows how it will all end.
After all, Seijuurou does not love.
(Of course, Tetsuya surprises him again.)
The flower is "baby blue eyes" and it meas "success everywhere".
If anyone is interest in hanakotoba, I used this site: /the-language-of-flowers/
About this AU:
- Akashi and Kuroko do end up together
- Kuroko too was suffering from hanahaki, but his started soon after the Teiko vs Meiko match
- Kuroko searches Akashi after the Rakuzan vc Seirin match
- If his feeling did not fade after winning the match, Akashi was going to go through the surgery
- Mayuzumi knew about Akashi dying bc he saw him coughing flowers
- Akashi does not know about that
- Mayuzumi linked the dots and totally knew who Akashi liked