-11:56 pm-
"ah its good to be president"
suddenly a man entered barrylawn's office
"hello... mr president..." a voice said from somewhere
"who are you?" barrylawn asked
"call me...Nomad Tang..."
(gunshoot noise)
-next day 6:00 am-
john phoenix was in the office with his uncle phoenix wright
suddenly there was breaking news on tv
"BREAKING NEWS the president of the ace attorney fanfiction community ARRESTED FOR MURDER!"
"WHAT!" john phoenix and phoenix wright stood up really quick
this must be the work of the trollz, they could smell it
-detention center-
"john phoenix save me, i didnt do shit" no locks appeared
"k"
-crime scene-
"whoa pal your not allowed here!"
"fuck off gumshit" said john phoenix and he tased him to sleep "good hes not moving, lets investigate"
basically the crime scene consisted of a dead body that wasnt gumshoe's and also evidence
"hey john phoenix i found some evidence" said phoenix "there's this spot on the wall dats a different colour from the rest of the wall"
"hmm interesting..."
-next day, 10:00 am, district court-
"court is now in session for the trial of barrylawn" said judge
"john phoenix is ready to kick ass"
"the prosecution is also ready, your honour," said demon gant
"wait. arent you the chief of police and evil"
"can you not read yu fuck, my name is DEMON gant, i'm his brother"
"sorry, call your witness"
barrylawn was called to the stand
"WITNESS, your name and occupation"
"barrylawn and president"
"testify"
he told them exactly what happened in the intro
"hmm" said the judge "so the victim entered your office and then was shot?"
"yes but it wasnt me"
"SHUT UP" demon said "it could only have been you!"
"hold it!" john phoenix said "why could it only be him?"
"because theres a security camera outside the office and the footage only shows two people entering the room, barrylawn and the victim, therefore only he could have shot the victim"
"the victim could have shot himself" said phoenix wright (he was john's assistant by the way)
"OBJECTION the autopsy says he was shot from about 10 metres away, so thats impossible"
the judge was about to give his verdict
but then
john phoenix found the turnabout
"OBJECTION not so fast, demon! There is another way the bullet could have entered the room... thru the painting!"
"what" said judge
"theres part of the wall in barrylawn's office thats different, THERE MUST HAVE BEEN A PAINTING THERE"
demon gant was sweating "s-so?
"so the painting must have been one of those paintings with eye holes! THE REAL KILLER COULD HAVE SHOT THROUGH THE HOLES!"
"YOU HAVE NO PROOF" screamed demon "you have no proof when the painting was there, or that it had eyeholes"
"OBJECTION yes i do, check the security footage"
the footage showed demon gant carrying out the painting
AND THERE WAS HOLES IN THE EYES
"look closely theres gunpower residue around the holes" john said "if u use forensic science u will see that ITS THE SAME GUNPOWDER FROM THE MURDER WEAPON!"
"GRAAAAAAAAAHHHH... JOHN... PHOENIIIIIIIIIIX!"
demon gant passed out and his head fell off revealing his true identity (damon gant)
"so u see" john phoenix explained "the voice barrylawn heard wasnt the victim... it was demon gant, aka damon gant, aka nomad tang, behind the painting! he shot the victim from the adjacent room and then threw the gun thru the hole and into barrylawn's pocket, to frame him of course. then later he stole the painting so there wouldnt be holes in the wall anymore"
"well well very brilliant my good boy" said the judge "i find the defendant NOT GUILTY"
confetti fell from the ceiling and everyone was happy
-wright law office-
"thanks john phoenix" said barrylawn "you too, phoenix. just one thing, who was the victim?"
john phoenix explained: "the victim was a troll... you see, damon gant was actually the troll leader and the victim was gonna tell on him, so damon had to kill him."
"wow fuck trolls" and he passed a new law making trolling illegal
then phoenix wright did something retarded
"OBJECTION!" yelled john phoenix
the end