Somehow, I completely forgot to upload this fic over here, it's just been sitting over on my Ao3 account for the last few months!
Fic inspired by all the hours teen me sat smoking in my friends bathtub! Ahh, good times.
It's a side effect of being the Ladybug, Marinette naturally makes others feel safe.
She's never been sure just what it is about her that creates this effect. She's a ball of nerves on a good day, a panic attack on a bad one. Fear is an ever-present friend by her side, keeping her company when no one else will. Afterall, Marinette hasn't felt truly safe since she was thirteen. Since she slipped Tikki's Miraculous into her ears and felt the first tiny bits of divinity flow through her veins.
She tends not to question things. The answers scare her more than the unknown.
At the very least, she's happy that she can take her teammates into her arms, that she can banish away their anxiety just by holding on tight.
Even if it means taking the worry into herself.
Marinette hears the doorknob turn, her heart leaps into her throat. The panic, usually an ignorable white noise rises in tempo. The rhythm forcing her body to tense and tighten with each stanza. Unconsciously, she pulls her two companions closer against her chest. Adrien's purr picks up volume as Kagami rubs her face against Marinette's stomach.
The door opens, and Luka pops his head in. "Well, aren't you just snug as a bug."
Luka, Luka is one of Marinette's people. Yards past being her teammate, miles further than being her friend, he is one of her chosen. His presence makes her being sing.
Marinette smiles and forces her body to relax back against the bathtub. It's cold and unyielding, not the least bit welcoming. She has to resist the urge to shift around as Luka makes his way further into the door frame. About an hour ago the pins and needles had spread from her thigh up to her hip, leaving her blissfully numb.
"That's one way of putting it, sure," Marinette says into Adrien's hair. She sends a pointed look over to her hands, still curled into a vice tight grip that's leaving her knuckles white on Kagami's back. She won't relax her grip, not when the door is still open, and their nest is exposed.
Most days, the instincts that come with being tied so tightly to a god first, a spirit second, and an animal third, are easy to ignore. Today hadn't been most days. It had been brutally violent, and somewhere around three pm, Marinette lost the will to even want to defy Tikki's subconscious gifts.
Luka notices her hands, nodding his head in understanding. "I'm gone for a few days, and this is what I come home to."
He takes them in—Marinette with deep-set shadows under her eyes, Adrien and Kagami asleep on top of her, all of their limbs tangled in a heap in his tiny bathtub.
"You're living in the world of gods and monsters now, is this really what surprises you?" Marinette stopped being surprised by things a long time ago. Even when days get just a touch past miraculous—with miracles escaping through her breath. A Kwami gave her secrets to the world after all.
"I come bearing gifts, at the very least," Luka says, his instincts—they aren't so different from Marinette's. The door is shut tight, firmly closed with the lock flipped, and her heart rate drops back down that final bit, Adrien's purr losing volume as it falls.
"Food?"
"Nicotine." He fishes out a pack of Marlboros from his pocket, holding it out to her in offering. Smoking is a nasty habit, one that makes Adrien scrunch up his nose while Kagami shakes her head. They all have different ways to cope. If Marinette's just happens to be with the bitter taste of tobacco that she still has to have Luka buy for her, well, there are worse ways.
"Even better," Marinette laughs, taking the pack into her hands without hesitating. The tips of her fingers brush his. The magic of the Miraculous sends a jolt through them, but neither flinch away from the contact. "Crack the window a bit."
The window is just above where they're all nestled down, just a couple inches away from the ceiling. Luka has to stand on his toes as he leans over them. Adrien is curled into a tight ball, his boney knees digging into her kidney. She needs to find some way to feed him more. Being Chat Noir eats away at too much of his energy, she can feel his ribs.
Kagami is pressed lower down Marinette's body, lying in her lap like an overgrown cat as she soaks up the warmth Marinette's core offers. Luka's jacket dangles just the slightest bit into her face, it's cute, how she absently swats at the zipper, a frown making its way across her features. Their feet are tangled together, while both Kagami's hands grip onto Adrien's shirt.
The latch is stuck, and Luka struggles to get it open, shifting his back toward Marinette.
"Hold still for a moment, would you," Marinette says.
Luka does, stilling his lower body as his arms work to push the window up. She takes the opportunity to reach into Luka's pocket, he doesn't flinch or freeze or give any indication of it, that alone probably says more about their relationship than any explanation Marinette could form with words.
She gets her hand around the lighter the same second Luka gets the window open. The night air is cold, as sharp a contrast against her skin as the lighter. A galaxy of deep purple stars swirl in her palm, Luka's not going to get this one back.
Marinette's built up a small collection of stolen lighters. It ranges from drug store Bics to expensive metal ones. Luka's always had good taste in them.
"Think you have room for one more?" Luka asks, his voice is casual, laid back and easy, all the same—Marinette catches the edge of desperation in his eyes.
He needs the closeness, the physical reassurance that everything will be okay the same way they all do.
"We can make room if you don't mind a tight fit," Marinette says as she shifts over, pulling both Kagami and Adrien along in the process.
There's not much space, Marinette doesn't doubt that in a matter of minutes Luka will be just as numb as she is. He climbs in without much internal debate though, slotting his back against the wall by the faucet, his feet by her head.
Her two cuddle bugs sense the warmth seconds after Luka manages to ease his way into the too small bathtub, they claim him a moment later. One of Kagami's hands finds its way into his jacket.
The pack of cigarettes is still in Marinette's hand, she's quick to shake one loose, plopping it into her mouth and lighting up before passing it back into Luka's waiting hands. He takes it with a grateful nod, drawing in a large lung full of smoke.
The smell makes Adrien's nose scrunch, it's cute.
Marinette's not sure how long they sit there for—flicking ashes onto the tile outside the tub while they pass the pack between each other before Luka breaks the silence. It's long enough for the box to be nearly empty, with only a scarce few left behind.
"So I'm guessing…" Luka trails off, sending a pointed look over to the corner where her towels are sitting in a bloody heap.
"There was an Akuma," Marinette starts nudging the cigarettes into Luka's hand. He just shakes his head, letting her keep the rest until he gives her a new carton. She nods in acceptance and takes one more out, pulling a long drag of nicotine against her tongue. "A nasty one. It destroyed like half a city block and managed to sink its claws into my side."
Luka draws in a harsh breath, eyes flickering to the only place that's not met with any contact. "Damn."
"It was nasty. Adrien smelt the blood and came running in here, Kagami followed him and worked herself into a panic attack, I couldn't really get either of them to calm down."
"They wore themselves out, huh?"
"Yeah." Marinette lets out a deep breath. "It was bad for a while. I dragged us all into the tub, so they could get some rest. Ever since then, they've been out like a light."
"Are you going to wake them up?" Luka asks quietly.
"No, I was just gonna stay here for the night," Marinette groaned. "I lost feeling from the waist down a couple of hours ago. Adrien might be a bag of bones, but with Kagami, they're both heavy. The second I try and stand, I'm falling flat on my face."
"I could always carry you over Princess," Luka smirks.
There is no way she couldn't laugh at that. "God no. It's bad enough when Adrien calls me that, not you too."
"I could get some pillows," Luka offers. "Or like, some blankets."
"Do you honestly think we need them?" Marinette asks, carding her fingers through Adrien's hair. He leans into the touch, starved for affection and greedy to claim any scrap of contact he can get. "If you really want to, you can, just make sure to hit the light when you get back."
"A minute," Luka promises.
"Make it a second."
"As my lady commands." Luka's feet are unsteady beneath him, wobbly as the circulation returns to them. "God, that's not fun."
"Just wait until tomorrow," Marinette calls after him. His answering groan echoes through the whole apartment. A night spent here will do no one any favors.
He's gone for exactly 2 minutes 47 seconds. Marinette couldn't help but count them all. Her nerves are still a bit frayed from the fight and Luka's absence before that. He makes quick work of his trip, closing the door with his hip and shutting off the light with his elbow.
The blankets are dumped directly over Marinette's head, right alongside several pillows and the teddy bear Luka keeps on his couch for emotional support.
She grabs it, holding it up toward him. "Really?"
"What? This is a family bonding moment. I couldn't leave Tedward out there in the cold by his lonesome."
"You're impossible," Marinette says, she tries her best to sound stern but fails miserably at keeping the smile off her face.
"Yeah, but you love me anyway," Luka says, wedging his way back into his spot. Marinette doesn't bother with a response. Everyone already knows how everyone feels. That aside, Marinette's never been overly great with words.
So she just hums, taking the blankets and tucking them around everyone. She's careful to make sure Kagami's face isn't covered. Luka helps her line the pillows against the walls, slipping one carefully under everyone's tangled legs.
There's a bit more shuffling after that as both Adrien and Kagami roll around to get comfortable again. Somehow Adrien manages to get himself entirely into Marinette's lap. Luka lets out a sharp hiss when Kagami kicks him in the ribs, he scoots over to give her more room, taking Marinette's legs into his lap.
"Was there a reason you all decided to come crash at my apartment?" Luka asks in a low voice, really it's more of a whisper, if the room hadn't been so deathly quiet, Marinette's not sure she would have heard him.
"Adrien didn't want to be alone and neither did Kagami, my parents would have asked too many questions and..." Marinette bites her lip, her words coming out more sheepish then she would have liked. "And we all missed you."
"I wasn't gone that long."
"It was long enough." There is a double meaning in her words, and Marinette knows by Luka's sharp intake of breath that he gets it.
Luka had been gone for less than a week, and already the magic that binds them all together is in an angry torrent of nervous desperate energy, the kind that makes her skin crawl and everyone stand at attention. Alert and waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Luka's head is bent down, his hair covering his eyes as he traces absent patterns into her legs. "It sucks."
"Yeah, it really does." It's a reminder, another scrap of proof over how much control the Miraculous has on their lives.
They lapse back into silence, neither of them knowing what to say. Marinette is almost asleep—limp against the tub—when Luka finally looks up. Half-lidded blue eyes filled with a fear Marinette sees every day in the mirror.
"Everything's on fire," Luka sighs in a long exhale of breath.
Usually, they're all good at tuning out the flames, at ignoring the heat as their humanity is slowly eaten away. It's just another white noise added to the collection since they signed their lives over to laughing spirits that smile proudly at every bit of othernessthey show.
Luka especially seems to rarely be affected by the changes, he's good at hiding it. So adept at pretending he hasn't experienced anything yet that Marinette would believe him, if only she didn't know just how quickly connections between gods and their chosen are formed.
After all, Alya had only ever held a Miraculous for a few hours, and that had been enough to change her—changes only surface-deep, but changes all the same. Luka has been a god's patron, a walking embodiment of rebirth contained in human flesh, for almost two years now.
"It'll be alright," Marinette says, she tries her best to be reassuring. To pour every ounce of her conviction into her words. Outside the Kwami's might be waging war amongst themselves, but she would be damned if she let anything hurt them now.
Luka swallows, taking hold of her hand as he says, "One day, we're going to be done. We're going to tear Hawkmoth to shreds. We're going to be done with little gods and all their awful magic. We'll be normal again."
Marinette hears the promises in Luka's words, his conviction takes her breath away, leaving her wordless. All she can do is squeeze his hand back.
The otherness in her blood terrifies her. Every day it makes her worry, makes her question just when she'll wake up as something else entirely. Her humanity is fleeting. She knows this, yet she holds onto it with both her hands, desperately trying to be what she knows she's not. At least not entirely, not anymore. There's no going back, and maybe that's why she feels safe. She's their last hope of a normal existence, she's living proof that the whims of spirits and gods aren't the end all be all.
Marinette knows that they can never be normal again, she knows this and yet, she relaxes back further into the cold porcelain, enjoying the feeling of being together—whole. "I can't wait."