Chapter 1 The Day of Bakening

"ORDER UP!" screamed the sexiest baker to ever grace the planet Earth with his existence. Steam steamed from his oven as dozens of donuts hit the shelves. The overwhelming odor of strawberry glazed goodness brought customers from around the world to the only bakery worth visiting. PAT THE BAKER was a legend in his own time. The regulars who came to his shop found him so attractive, they would always buy more pastries than intended. His eyes were so blue, the moon mistook it for the ocean and occasionally threw off the Earth's gravitational pull. His neatly groomed mustache was so robust, thousands of hair product companies tried to endorse him. But Pat turned down millions and millions of dollars, for his only love...was baking.

As he squeezed a baguette in each rippling bicep, he threw them to the highest, seven story shelf in his bakery. "Perfect," he admired. "Now who's next?" he asked. Simply asking was enough to make his customers brawl each other. Ladies, gentlemen, and the gender-non conforming battled it out to be served by the glorious Pat the Baker./p""Pat the Baker," a young woman said. "I need two dozen chocolate eclairs please." Pat placed a strawberry donut in her bag as she stared on in confusion. "But I want eclairs, she insisted."

"This donut is better than eclairs," he declared.

The woman shed a tear and she placed a hundred dollar bill in Pat's tip jar. "Th-...thank you, Pat." She scurried off to devour the legendary donut while the rest of the patrons applauded.

"This day couldn't get any better," Pat said to himself as a giant missile exploded through the window.

Blood and smoke was everywhere. People were hurled into ovens while pastries rolled for cover. Pat emerged the wreckage, using one arm to lift the entire bakery by its support beam. "Is everyone okay?" he asked. No one answered...because all his customers were dead. Pat Naruto ran outside the bakery to find that his city was under attack from a menace no one had seen in years. "Sweet merciful buns," he growled. "It's Null Sector."

The Omnic Extremist group had returned to wreak havoc on humanity. The giant deathbots were smashing through the streets, shooting lasers into anyone they saw. One of the omnics charged at Pat, but he dropkicked it and sent the robot flying exactly twenty-three blocks down the street. As the chaos continued to erupt all around him, Pat turned around and realized his beloved bakery was destroyed. Years of kneading dough and baking delectable donuts and finally caught up with him. All of it had been upended by a dastardly missile. Rage overwhelmed him as he reached into his pocket.

"There's no going back," Pat yelled at himself softly. He withdrew an eclair of adrenaline and injected it into his bloodstream while simultaneously eating it. The power it gave him was demonic as he launched towards the Null Sector Omnics. Pat punched straight through one.

"Kill that baker," one of the Omnics computed. "Beep boop BOP."

They opened fire as Pat deflected their shots with his reinforced mustache. BUT the robot forces were too great. As he was being overcome, an iconic jet flew overhead. It bore the crest of the legendary Overwatch. Once exiled for their alleged crimes, but now they were the heroes of the universe.

"Jesus Christ," Soldier 76 said from the cockpit. "That baker is taking on like 40 Omnics down there."

"We gotta help now," Mercy said and threw herself out the window.

Landing the plane would take too long, so Soldier crashed it right next to Pat's position. (Everyone in Overwatch was okay because they were wearing crash proof shield bubble things that Mercy made them. But she only made them once so they can't use them again if they have to crash in the future.)

"What the-" Pat grunted as Overwatch came to aid. "I know those people. That's Overwatch, here to avenge my bakery."

"I'm taking care of you," Mercy said as she came to give Pat some healing. When she did so, she looked his eyes and the world stopped. It was like she'd found a forgotten soul lost in a void of temptation she truly belonged in. Her heart thundered as she slowly lowered her staff.

"No," Pat said softly. "Let ME take care of YOU." He helped her hold up the staff to resume healing as she lost herself in his essence. Pat was unlike any man she'd encounter. He emanated bold kindness and fearless tenacity. He was a baker sure, but a baker with ethics. Mercy bit her lip and almost fainted as Pat flexed to stand up. "Thank you for the heals," he said.

"Np," Mercy replied.

SUDDENLY, a GIGANTO OMNIC WITH THREE MEGACANNONS stomped over to the street. It had the word "EVIL" written across its chest to assert its dominance.

It fired its megacannons and everyone went flying. "OOOOO OOOO AHHH AHHHH OOO" said Winston the Gorilla as he lunged to intercept the giant robot. He used his electric weapon, but it only charged the machine more. It pimp slapped Winston into the concrete while children looped the footage on TikTok.

"I don't have enough ice to stop that thing," said Mei. She checked her gun to make sure she was telling the truth.

"BUT I DO," said Pat.

"Baker," Soldier intoned. "Get the hell to safety. We'll handle this."

"No," said Pat. "This is what I was born to do. Where I was meant to be." A tear fled his perfect eye and nourished the soil where it landed, making a sunflower grow. "None of you have seen the darkness I have seen," Pat said. "No one has suffered as I have, but this is my chance to make it right."

"Let him try," Mercy said.

"K," said Soldier.

"Pat took a deep breath and recalled his traumatic past.

He remembered so vividly sitting in the waiting room of the "Great British Baking Show." It was season 17 episode 8. The other contestants were good, but they weren't PAT THE BAKER good. At least that was what a younger Pat had believed. The judges came and munched away at his apple crumble. Paul Hollywood, Mary Berry, and Sue Perkins had all made their decisions.

"I'm sorry," Paul had said.

"It's just too crispy," said Mary.

"The apples are bitter, dear." said Sue.

"THIS IS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE, YOU PATHETIC DONKEY." Gordon Ramsay concluded.

"Pat was booted off the show that night, and remembered the long ride home with his adoptive father.

"YOU'RE A DISGRACE, SON." Gordon Ramsay scolded.

"I'm a baker, dad." Pat replied.

"YOU'RE NO BLOODY BAKER AND YOU'LL NEVER BE IN OVERWATCH!"

Time flashed back to the present as Pat harnessed is inner baker and stared the Omnic down. "RAAAAA!" he roared and launched himself towards the giganto Omnic. He concentrated all power to his hand until a wooden peel spawned in it. Born of his pure, baker's essence, the peel emanated lighting and shot flaming danishes.

"Oh god," The Omnic uttered as it took some heavy hits from Pat's ultimate weapon.

"He's so cool," Soldier 76 admitted.

"And beautiful," said every woman in Overwatch at the exact same time. They didn't even have to be at the battle, they were all linked to feel that way for Pat had installed a connection within Mercy's heart.

Pat landed on the Omnic's head and threw his peel up the sky to charge. His peel soared through the atmosphere and traveled lightyears to reach the literal sun. While his weapon was gone, Pat punched away at the Omnic's face. It aimed its megacannons at him, but he was ready. Pat threw himself into one of the cannons, so it would fire him into the other cannon, and that cannon would fire him into the third cannon, therefore destroying all three. "And I thought ovens were hot," Pat said as unrolled his body from being a human cannonball. He used his mustache as a grappling hook to swing to the Omnic's control center.

Pat headbutt it open to find a smaller Omnic controlling the giant one. He seized it by the throat and teleported to his ravaged bakery. "LOOK WHAT YOU DID," Pat roared.

"THIS WAS MY HOME. I cleaned these ovens. I slept on these shelves. Now I have no future."

The Omnic spat out some oil and scoffed. "I don't care, Pat the Baker. You are an inferior hooman. U don't matter. Gtfo."

"No," affirmed Pat. "YOU gtfo." He forced the Omnic's mouth open and jammed a piping hot, Mcdonalds apple pie down its throat. It was so scorching hot, that the Omnic exploded.

Pat sobbed as he realized he'd shattered his vow. Since the trauma from the "Great British Baking Show" he'd vowed to never deal with apple products again. Not even mobile devices. As a result, he proclaimed to the pastry goddess Belvita to mark him for life should his word be broken. Sure enough, his palm was scarred from where he held the Mcdonald's apple pie. Revenge had set him on a lethal path and he whimpered knowing it.

"Are you okay?" Mercy asked from behind.

"No," Pat said. "I am disgraced."

"Wanna join Overwatch?" she asked.

"You killed so many Omnics, that's enough to make you a member of our elite strikeforce." Soldier 76 added. "The war is just beginning."

"We could use a man of your skills," Winston said while polishing his glasses.

"What do you say?" Mercy wondered.

Pat looked to his potential new team and the destroyed city around him. The bakery was no more, but he could forge a new bakery...in his heart. Plus there were more Omnics to take revenge on. Pat reached for the heavens as his peel returned from the sun fully charged. With fiery eyes and a determined smirk, Pat answered the call. "Sign me up," Pat declared. When he said that, every Omnic within a 5,000 mile radius automatically combusted.