I readed my immortal and it was neat but I wasnted a power metal virsion so I wrute one.

Discalimer: I don't own harry poter.

Hi my name is Epica Stormwrought Mania Phoenix Olzon. And I have epically long blue and purple hair(That's how I got my name) with orange steaks and it drags across the floor sexily as I walk. And purple eyes that seem to pierce into your inner soul. I'm not related to Anette Olozn but I wish I was because she's totes sexy and an amzing singer, but peoepl tel me I luk lik her. I'm a dragon but im usally in human from because im also a withc who goes to a magic scholl called howarts in britishland where im' in the seventh year (im 77). Im a huge power metal fan, and every other music genre is dum and makes me want to stick my head up my own vaigna and sufofcate to death because all the other music is garbage, but shoudln't be shat into the sun becwas the sun wood get sick and trune into a black hole faster and suck the earth up.

I used to make all my own cloths by hadn but now I just conjure all of them, because store bought clothes are mainstrem and dum except my blind guardian and nightwish tshirts which I always where to bed, but I got those at concerts not stores so it's not the same. For example today I was wearing a purple coset with mathing lace and a purple pink tie dye colored miniskirt, pink fluffyfuzz leggings and pumps with many golden spikes. I was wearing purple lipstick to make my lips look purple, foundation, black eyeliner in egyptoin style. I was wearing a gold mulenear necaklace and a gold valnot necklace, a gold trikwatra necklace, and 18 pears of earrings in my pierced ears I also had a mjollnir tongue ring. I was walking outside Hogfarts. It was snowing and raining and cloudy and icing, like a wintry mix and stuff, but I was a dragon so I din't care evan if I wuz in homan from cold weather don't ever bother dragons so I was fine. I roared like a dragon mastearfly. Abuncha mansteam ideats stared at me, so I breathed purple lightning flames at them, and they ran off in shear terroire except for the ones that burned to ashes which was all of them.

"Hey Eoica," shooted a voice. I looked. It was... … … … … … Navel Longbutt.

"What's up Navel?" I asked sweatly.

"Noting," Hed said shyly.

But then he had to go with his friends which made me jello mad but I had to rember that we weren't togethry yet.

AN: Epic, right? Okay it'll go deferent but simile for a while, and the diverge. I thin the first chapter will be all the chapters until it starts to diverge actually, so this one will be real long.

Chapteer 2

AN: tanks to no one for helpin me with dis, I am a sad sad grill that has noone to cook with.

The next day I wok up in my draconic lair. It was connected to hogfats with a potal. Most wizerds and withcs keep their munny in green gotts but I have to sleep on my gold cuz im dragons and a dragon have to sleep on their gold, so instead if anyone but me enters, there's a teleportal spell that telports 10,000 dementor form azkabian into my lair which suck the person sole. And then if they're still alive a giant boot kicks them out and into the sun. I know that's mean but that's why you shouldn't try to steal from dragons and also there's a warning sing written in every language that says beware of dragon's furious taps in every language, and evan if ur illitreat the signs make you abel to read them, so if they enter there relly dumb anyway. My gold was in a hugemonugous pail in the center of my lair, so I could sleep on it easily, and I had a 100 inch falt screen tv on my cave wall and lots of band posters, which were all of power metal bands because all other music sucks and makes me want to rip off my own legs and beat mykelf in the head with them till I die. I looked into my dragon size mirror, and I looked awesoem cause I was a big dark purple dragon with amathist spikes and horns and huge wings that were huge, and I had four giant amathist claws on each of my dragon feat. The amathist was magic amathist that was 6 billion times harder than dyemonds and my scales wear moar indestracticable than wolvering's skelton metal that I can't rember the name of.

It was snowing and ranning outsid again but I was still a dragon so I din't care. I ate some sheep crunchies that I made last night by burning some shepp with my lightning fir breathe. Then I want back to human form but I was nekkid because my band shirts that I sleep in are size ten thousand because I nominally slepp in my drakon form. I really need to get my dragon form down to size 900, but my sweet sheep cakes are delicious. They're basically sheep crunchies but mixed with a lot of flour and sugar and cake ingedients and baked in my lightning and fire breath. so I couldn't go out nekkid like dat well I could but i'd have to breathe fire on all the people who saw me nekkid, that's happened a couple times when I forgot my clothes. so I put on a fancy blouse that had one angel and one devil wing coming out dhe back. But the wings were blue and red instead of black and white, and the shit was purple. I put on skin tight purple jeans. Fortunately my hu man from looks how I want so I nevar look fat even though my dragon form kind of is which is why I like to be in humna form. I put on a gold Helloween Jackalatern. I didn't feel like wearing shoos today so I didn't and wlaked outside bearfoot... or dragonfoot I guess... little joke.

My friend, Nadia (I don't actually really have any friends for this to be... sad face.) grinned at me. She flopped her supper long blue-green hair with purple streanks and opened her lovely pink eyes. She's relaly pale cuz she's an albino. Her hair drug the ground for biles mecause it was long as reepunzul's. She was wearing an iron maiden tshirt, there not techically power metal but there good enough tobe. We hugged and french kissed because we're kind of touchy like that even though we're not darting but are bischedule. She was wearing makeup, but I didn't need makeup becuasese my dragon transomation magic made me look how I want, but sometime I do egyputian style eyeliner because that shit rocks.

We were ating breakfast in the great halo, which we were eating biscuits and gravy and talking. "OMFG I saw you talking to Navel Longbutt yesterday, he's cute, do you lik him," Nadia said exitedly.

"I really do," I admitted. Just as I said Navel happened bi. He blueshed and ran away in sheer terror. I started crying sadly because that reaction celarly meant he hated me.

"He hates me!" I cried sadly.

"No, he blushed before he ran away so he must like you," Nadia said.

"Oh okay, I missed that," I said claming down a bit. I wash happy now.

And tehn someone came up and asked why I wasn't wearing shoes, so I breathed fire lightning on him and bruned him to ahses.

And then Navel came back! And he had a bucket of rosses! And two concert tickets! And he told me brind gardien was having a concerto in hogsmead! And he asked me to go with him! And I stood up and screamed YES with the force of a thousand screams! And I huged him!

Chaper 3

AN: STUP FLAMINGO DIS STORIE MAINSTEAMERS! ok. Odorwise i'll breath fire lightning on you. Okay noboyd's reviewed yet, I just really wanted to say that because it seemed fun to say. But if you read this tahnks for reading. And I don't own harry potter or the lyrics to any famous snogs that exist in this writing time.

On the night of the concerto I put on a dragon costume because It was a halloween concert and I thought it would be funny to be a human wearing a dragon costume for halloween. When navel saw me he chucked because he was wearing an identical dragon costume. I would have been annoyed that he was making fun of my people but I rembered that he didn't know I was a dargon yet because only nadia nose that sofar. Navel took me on a magic carpet, and we whent to teh concerto. And I pretended to shiver to see if he wood cast a wamign charm on me and HE DID! so that proves he's a sweathart.

"Hi Navel," I said gappily as we entered the concerto.

"Hi Epica," He said back. On the way we smoked mariwanya and chiled while listening to blind guardian, we got at the concerto place and went. Whne we got there we hopped off the crappet. We went into the mosh pit and I moshed with the force of a thousand moshings and slammed through instead of into someone who wasn't navel so I wasn't really sad or anything. Dragonforce was playing though the fire and flames, and I raided my noggin toward the ceiling and breathed out fire lightning, burning though the foof. Everyone clapped at me but someone tapped me on the shoulder and pointed at a sign in the moshpit that said "No Professionals," so I had to go sit in the crowd, but I thouht I made my point so I did.

And then evaninscence got on the stage and started playing. They were terrible and made me want to rip out my uterus just so I had something to throw at them. They weren't a power metal band so everyone bood them and hissed them and yelled that they wanted the concert next door at the other club, and then I burned them up with lightning fire breath so the next band came and everyone claped at me again.

"Say goodbye, my friend

Here's your promised end

Be a part of the grand parade

Along we're driven

on and on, it's a grand parade

We're so sorry to say

It's all the same, you will see

On this grand parade

Damnation

Now join the grand parade" It was blind guardian singing grand parade. (I donut own the leyrics to that snog)

"Hansi is so hot!" I shouted, but nobody heard because it was a concerrt and the music was louder unless I really yelled as loud as I could because im a dragon and can yell really loud if I want to, especially in my dragon form but then it's more of a roar. But navel did hear me so he looked sad. I huged him. "Navel, you're silly, You're more hotter plus you're not an old guy, he probaly has eractyel disaffection by now anyway." and I kissed him.

The concerto went on till the night was long, and I had a grate time and so didn't navel. And I drank some shots of rum and got drank. And then we left, and Navel drove the magic carpet into... … … … … the lost woods.

Ch 4

We were flying a thousand miles above the forbidden forest looking at the stars. We were also totally fucking for the first time with the force of a thousand fuckings. I was 77 because dragons are conscious in their eggs and It took sixty years for me to hatch, and Navel was 18 because he used a time turner to repete one of his hogwarrts years because his fourht year really sucked, so it's not like we weren't legal or anything. But we were interipted with a lodd screm of... … … … … … "WHAT THE FLYING SAM HILL FUCKEDKY FUCK DO YOU HOOLIGANS THINK YOU'RE DOIN'!" anyway and it was... … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … DIMBLEDORF!

Cghapter 5

Professor Snape made Navel and I flow him. I tried to fry him with fire lightning breath, but snape was wearing a dragon fire and dragon lightning proof robe and mask unfotunely, so he gave me detention. I tried a lazer breath too but he dodged it. Well, I wasn't going to his stooped detention I knew that. We were still nekkid unfotunely because he wouldn't let us get dressed. I hopped he knew that if I had to breathe lightning fire on anyone else for seeing me nekkid it was on his head.

"ONE HUNDRED MILLIONS PINTS FROM GRYFFINDOOR! TWO HUNDRED MILLION POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOOR! THREE HUNDRED MILLION POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!" sNAPE SHOUTED MADLY LIKE MAD.

"FOR SHAME UPON YOU! YOU FOOLISH FOOLS! WHY WOULD YOU GO HAVE SEX IN THE TREES! FOOOOOOOLISH FOOLS! FOUR HUNDRED MILLION POINTS FOM GRIFFINDO!"

"THERE'S NO SCHOOL RULE AGAINST HAVING SEX!" I protected in barely controlled rage.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THERE'S A RULE AGAINST HAVING SEX, I DON'T WANT YOU FOOLISH HORNY TEENAGERS HAVING FUN!" Schnape schnaid schnidely.

"WE'RE GOING TO ENJOY OUR TENNAGE YEARS WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, YOU GRUMPY OLD COOT! AND IM NOT GOING TO YOUR DUMB DENTENTION! I'M GOING OVER YOUR NOGGIN!" and with that I jumped over snapes noggin (ROFOFLMAO! GEDDIT?! CUZ SHE SAID "OVER HIS NOGGIN!") and ran off to dumbladour's office. As the dean, dumbledoar could hepl me. And he's usally raisinable. Snppe ran after me but his pitiful homan speed was no match for that of a mighty dragon, so I beat him there easily.

Dumbledore was sitting in his orifice drinking lemon drops. He smiled up at me and said "Helleo eppica, would you care for a limon droop," Dumbeldore asked. I took one, opened the bottle and started drinking it. And then said "Snape is yelling at me for nothing again," I sighed exasperateldy. "me and navel went to a concert and then we had sex in the forbidden forest, and he took ten hundred million points from gryffindor just for that, and when I pointed out it wanst against howart's rules, he said he wanted us to live a life of unendeing mistery and boredom!"

and then dumbledore said,"Ah I see, I'll riverse that, and snpae back to his armoire," dumbledore replied and did a soell and snaper was back in his orifice. I went back to my gryffindorm and slipt, but I heard singing and wok up, Navel was singing "wear is the wander wear's the awe, wears deer alice knocking on the dor, where is the trip door that takes me there, wear the real is shattered by a mad march hare? I want my tears back!" (AN: I donut own the lyrics to that song) I was amazed that he dispelled the stair slide charm just to come sing to me and smooched his face, but then I got cranky cause I had ben wok up and threw hem inta a wall. And I actually felt bad about it wen I wok up in the morning that's how I knew I loved him.

Chapter 6.

the next day I woke up in my draconic lair and went homan form and put on a rippedy up purple miniskirt and a matching top with orange mulenears arll over it. I also equipped a battle axe to look cool, and put my hair in a braid ponytail around a katana which I used as a hair accessory to braid my hair around. I put on two pairs of dragonclaw earrings. I also tuned my hair full purple.

In the grate hall I was eating some fruity pebbels because I had a stange carving for serial. Suddenly a pearson bumped into me. "YOu MOTHERFUKING IDEA, WATCH WEAR YOUR GOIN!" I shouted like mad.

"sORIRY!" whimpered the whimpring voice of a pore cute guy, he had black hair but he had dyed it red so it was red now and it was a very scarlet red like the one guy from final fantasy 7 but longer, like all the way down to the floor, and he had a bear chest and was only wearing a purple longcoat, but it was a golden purple that looked like gold.

Dargons can see in the ultraviolent specturm, which has that color, so if you're wondering about how that's bdcause im a dragon and can see in the ultorviolent spracturn so can see gold purple colors that are both gold and purple.

"That's okay, you're cute, what's your name?" I aksed.

"I'm hary pooter, but msot pelple call me Dragon these days," He grumped.

"WHHHHYYYYY?!" I wondered aloud.

"Because I love the taste of roast lamb!" He giggled.

"Well, I am a dragon," I declared.

"Really?" he whimpered.

And I turned into my dragon form, turning my cloths in cornfetti and roared "YEAH!" with the force of a thousand roars with such force that it sent dragon flying into a wall which made a dent in the wall and probbly hurt his noggin but I din't know him yet so I dint car, I turned back to human form and looked around to make sure no one saw. Fortunely everyone was on their iphones at the maoment so nobody noticed so I didn't have tokill anyone and eat them. Dragon came on my back. "It's relly cool your a dragon, but I thought dragons were dumb aminals," dragon siad. So I dickpunched him FOR MAKING FUN OF DRAGONS. Then navel came up behind me and toad me he had a suprise for me so I wakked off with Navel to let Dragon think about what he said.

CH7

Naval and I where holding each others hands which hand purple nail polish on them. We went upstairs and I had red thors hamemers on my purple nails in red nail polish. I waved to Dragon, but he was too busy glaring jealously at Navel for some resin, and I knew why but pretended not to. And we went into navel's rom and locked the door. We strarted doin all the sex having, and I knowticed a tatt that navel had and it was cool, but it was a drawing of a dragon with red hair, and I was like "omg r u bi? Dat's awesome!" and I unlocked the door and invited Dragon in and we all had a sex threesome of sex. But I dickpunched Dragon emeditely before his orgazim because I was sill mad about him calling dragons dumb.

Primary point of divergence passed. Processing... long chapter 1, ended. I am being a computre lol.