Kennash vibes today. If you've heard the song Love The Way You Lie (both parts, it starts with Part II and finishes with I) by Eminem and Rihanna, the lyrics are harsh and it's two sides of a relationship - the good and the bad but mostly the bad. A toxic relationship, if you will. I love this song, don't know why and it gave me an idea for Kennash. On the show, they were always doomed to fail (which I hate) so I guess it can be canon a bit. I couldn't do this for Frary, Frary is happy and sweet and loving and give off a lot of Ed Sheeran vibes so look out for another themed one-shot about them soon! This is set in a modern AU.
I'm challenging myself. I've gone through or know of people in toxic relationships. This is therapy. I've not given up on love and I do believe people can have redeeming features in them.
Kenna can recall the time she fell in love with Bash. His eyes had been warm, bright green and hopeful. Hers had been excited, curious and endearing.
They had got together shortly after bitching about their exes over champagne and later, Vodka at a party hosted by his family. The night had ended with a chaste kiss to the side of the lips and a 'thanks for listening'.
Over the time it took to bitch about their relationships and the time they ended up falling into bed after a date, they'd been flirty and touchy - even their friends and families noticed, sending them coy looks and smiles of encouragement.
They did all they could to outdo the other when it came to romance. A date in a private jet, breakfast in one country, lunch in another, dinner in another. She'd retaliate by sending his favourite wine to his office, over twenty bottles stacked into a pyramid from an expert engineer.
But just as much as they tried to outdo the other in love, they outdid each other in pain and hate. They'd scream at each other, argue relentlessly over things past solved but dug back up to hurt each other once again.
She doesn't know how it happened. It shortly started after his cousin had tried it on with her and she had kept rejecting him until one day, the man had kissed her, right in front of Bash. She told him he never trusted her, being the subject of advances from other men and politely putting them down to no avail. The same could be done for him but he never discouraged the women, taking to flirting with them sometimes. He was kind, he'd let them know he was taken and the fact was his girlfriend sat right beside him.
After they would argue, she'd sink to the floor and cry. He'd mumble that he loved her and that the people you loved the most knew how to hurt you the hardest.
Kenna would think that he lied. He didn't love her. He still held a torch for Mary. But she loved how he lied because he could make his words seem true and she'd fall right back into his arms despite that.
"Are we... meant to be together?" She asks him, her voice heavy with gravel.
"I don't know," he whispers, shrugging helplessly.
Her eyes draw to the glass on the floor. He'd not been listening to her when she demanded to know why his colleague from work was sending him certain text messages and she'd thrown his glass of Scotch on the floor, along with a photo of them and vases littered around their bedroom. She won't even get started on the argument they had before downstairs, that wreck was unreal.
"Kenna, you..." He stops, unsure. "You're hedonistic-"
"Here we go again-"
"Just listen!"
"Why?!" She cries back, looking up at him. "It's not anything I haven't heard before. You feed me fairytales-no fables about our relationship but nothing matters because everything is toxic. You are toxic. I'm scared of you." But then her eyes dry up and she smiles wryly. "And call me crazy... but I love it. Makes you only the more attractive."
Bash's face falls. "You're a masochist-"
"Maybe I am," she cuts him off. "I'd rather have the pain that comes being with you but at least, I'd be with you."
He gestures to her packed bag. "Well, you always try to run but you never quite leave the front yard."
Kenna sighs, getting up and heading to the bed. "I'm tired."
"I'll join you in a bit."
Like clockwork, they clean up some of the mess (downstairs is a wreck, the start of the tornado they'd built before finishing it in the bedroom), replace or rearrange items around that are broken and they settle in their bed. They're miles apart on the mattress and fall asleep like that.
...
Bash turns on his side, watching as Kenna's chest rises and falls evenly. After an hour, the sunray hits her face and she frowns, waking up to shield her face.
She's so beautiful, he believes that. How her face is stained with smeared mascara and foundation which has transferred onto her pillow. He just studies her and later brings a hand to brush her hair away from her left eye.
"Did last night happen?" She croaks out, a tear slipping down her cheek.
"Shh, forget about it."
She shakes her head. "I'm sorry." She shifts now, coming closer to wrap her arms around him. "I didn't mean anything." They meant everything. "It's just... Mary, she's-"
He pushes her off him and covers his eyes. "For fu-"
"Listen to me," she says, trying to touch him but he shoves her off.
"Don't touch me," he snaps. "You just don't know when to... I called a ceasefire but you just had to ruin it. I was giving you a chance to forget about it all. So we could move on but you just don't care, do you? You only care about winning. You just care about yourself. You are the worst person I've ever met."
Kenna gets out of the bed and heads downstairs. She hears him follow soon after as she eyes the broken coffee table and blood on the floor. She turns and sees his cuts that are long since dried.
He doesn't say anything, just hugs her and digs his face into her neck. I'm sorry. Without you, I'm nothing. I'm lost. Just hold me.
She knows all the unspoken words he says and she shoves him off her, wrapping her arms protectively around her middle. In the light, she can see the damage she's done to him. He looks down, covering his face but she can see the hint of the split lip she gave him. She knows she's got some bruises herself. Seldom their fights will become physical but it's happening more and more.
"We need counselling-"
"No," he says. "We're not that bad-"
"If we don't," she starts, swallowing hard. "I'll leave. For good."
Bash looks at her now, his eyes darkening. "If you leave, I'll burn this house down."
Kenna laughs, shaking her head in disbelief. They built this house, for three years. From the first foundation laid, it was their home. Their rustic, in the middle of the woods, homey home. Each panel of wood and stone placed with love. It will hurt her but she'll get over it. If their love really means that much to him.
She rolls her eyes and turns, walking out the door and grabs her keys.
"Wait, where are you going?"
"I'm leaving you, Bash," she says tiredly.
"No, you're not. Come back," he says, but he doesn't make an effort to move even though his stomach is twisting, it feels painful and he can't breathe. He feels like he's being suffocated and he feels dizzy, almost stumbling. Is this what heartache is?
She's done this and always come back but her tone means something different. It's over for good.
"I won't get jealous!" He cries out, his voice breaking. "I'll never... I'll never hit you again. I'm so sorry, I-I don't-"
And then she's back and cupping his cheeks, brushing his hair from his eyes as he sobs in her arms. She hugs him and he feels like she's just gone and resuscitated him back to life. He can breathe again.
She's like coming home, warm hugs, deep kisses, cups of tea, massages... Then one day, he got sick of even being near her. He swore he'd never be like his dad, hit her as his father did to his mother and stepmother. He swore he'd never hurt her. He swore he'd never stoop so low and throw things in her face, full of hate and venom.
Sex with her is like something he's never had before. No one compares to her, especially when they've finished feuding and end up in bed, they push, pull, scratch, claw, bite... They're like starved animals and it excites him, waking up to fresh cuts and her naked on his chest. Then it would start again and she would try to escape his clutches with giggles but he'd throw her back onto the bed, pin her down and make love to her again. He could never get enough of her. He was lost in her whenever he was with her.
He'd spoken to his brother about the harshness of his relationship. The increasing bad days and his brother would turn to him in alarm, suggesting heavily that they should split up and remain friends, if he really couldn't live without her. Being together is toxic, this won't lead to marriage if they're abusing each other.
Bash would consider it. Consider it. Then today would become yesterday and yesterday will be over, tomorrow now today and he'd make her promises that they'll be better because they love each other and everyone is wrong. Her mother and best friend are wrong, his brother is wrong. His brother just doesn't want him to end up like their father, alone and neglected until his dying breath after the women in his life stood up to him.
Their father hated women, he actually loved Kenna with all of his damn heart.
He'd promise that he would stop himself and she would promise the same but they never do. That would lead to her walking out but she never got far.
"Kenna?" He mumbles as they lie down in the destruction they've made.
"Yeah?" She whispers.
"I know that we," he swallows hard, sniffling as he plays with her hair. "Say things we don't mean... But we always fall back into the same patterns and routines and your temper... you're just as bad as me. But it's me. I should know better. My dad-"
"You are not your dad," she says firmly.
He shakes his head. "He was so full of hate... Francis said he'd never be like him and he kept that promise. But I... I guess I truly am my father's son."
Kenna presses a kiss on the side of his head. "Shh."
"No," he whispers. "I have to say this. I knew you'd be a tornado. From the first time I laid my eyes on you."
She smiles wryly. "You're a fucking volcano," she mutters.
"Yeah. We both create destruction. I love you though. Too much for you to walk away from me," Bash tells her. "Do you hear me?"
"I do."
"I mean it. This is all on me," he tells her, looking up to stare into her eyes. "Next time, if I really must hit something... I'll hit the wall. It can't fight back, so I'll be good."
She laughs softly, brushing her finger over his lip which makes him wince. "Sorry."
"There won't be a next time, Kenna. I'll apologise every time, every day... I'm sick of the games we play, who can hurt each other the most? I don't want that life anymore," he says. "If you try to leave me, I'll..."
She shakes now and nods. "I won't," she whispers. She knows what he'll do.
"I'll do the counselling," he finally says after a while. "I want to break the cycle, end this."
"I'll believe it when I see it," she replies.
He sits up and grabs his phone from the ground where it used to be on the coffee table before the table had smashed to pieces from his weight. He dials a number he's found online and calls it.
"Can I book an appointment, please?" He asks the person on the other line, his eyes fixed on Kenna's. "For my fiancée and me."
In all of this, Kenna's almost forgotten about the ring on her finger. It feels heavy now but she smiles a little. It's a start. A chance to be better before they say... I do.
He hangs up. "Monday. At two."
Kenna nods with a soft sigh. "It's a start," she says, smiling widely.
He kisses her. "It is."
Kenna swallows hard as she watches him start to clear up, carefully removing large shards of glass from the floor. For the first time in her life with him, she feels safe and content.
Perhaps, she is the only one he sees.
Perhaps, he is finally over...
"Want to help?" He asks, looking over his shoulder to give her a teasing smile.
Kenna grins. "I think I'd just admire the view," she replies, gesturing to his arse. "It's quite lovely from here."
He chuckles. "Glad you think so, Beautiful. But the quicker we get this done, the sooner we can enjoy breakfast outside or something."
Kenna nods. "Yeah."
She presses a kiss on his back and thumbs over a new cut. She'll sort that out after and then they can start their journey of healing.
"I love you, Bash."
Bash turns to her, almost surprised. "I love you too, Kenna."