Chapter One: Fun and Games

Six o'clock PM. SpongeBob's least favorite time of day.

In more neutral terms, closing time at the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob was grilling up the last few orders in the kitchen while Mr. Krabs counted the day's profits. Meanwhile, the dining area became almost empty, with Squidward taking an extended bathroom break as the final customers of the day wrapped up their early dinners.

With a flourish, SpongeBob swept the last Krabby Patty of the day off the grill and tossed it onto the bun with pinpoint accuracy. After a slice of cheese here, some seaweed there, a dash of ketchup and mustard to paint the meat with a smiley face, and a little bit of love (as SpongeBob put it, anyway), it was ready.

"Order up!" SpongeBob said this to no one, since Squidward was being useless, as was to be expected. Thus, SpongeBob merely threw the order, plate and all, towards the customer's table. His aim was perfect- had the table been a target, he would have hit the bullseye.

As the last customers exited the restaurant, Squidward followed them out the door, charging at top speed to get away from the primary source of his misery. On the other hand, SpongeBob stayed behind, wanting to help clean up.

Unfortunately for him, there was just nothing to do. The place was scrubbed clean so often that except for the occasional piece of trash, everything was spotless. Thus, after collecting his meager wages from the day and bidding Mr. Krabs farewell, he began the bittersweet trek home to his pineapple.

However, before he got there, something unusual made him stop. "Okay, what's this about?"

A frenzied crowd had gathered in front of a bus station, all of them pushing and shoving each other in their desire to reach… something. They were packed so tightly together that squeezing through would be near impossible, and SpongeBob wasn't exactly known for being tall, so he couldn't see over the masses, either.

Suddenly, Squidward extricated himself from the mob, a ridiculous-looking grin on his face. SpongeBob approached him, asking, "So, Squidward, what's with all the hubbub? And… what's making you so happy all of a sudden?"

To SpongeBob's surprise, Squidward responded in the most cheerful tone SpongeBob had heard him use in months. "Can't you see, SpongeBob? This is my opportunity to get my fifteen minutes of fame! All I need to do is call the number, and then I can be the next contestant on a game show!" Then, he ran off, laughing hysterically.

SpongeBob shook his head. "Game show? What game show?" SpongeBob didn't get much time to watch television back at home, so he hadn't really seen many game shows before. His television only having a few channels (the sports channel, the news channel, some channel where they showed these weird slapstick cartoons centered around coconuts, and a couple of public access channels) didn't help.

Once the crowd in front of him dispersed a little, he managed to slip through to the front and get a good look at what everyone else was so excited about. It looked like a fairly simple flyer, but the contents of said flyer were what appeared to be the catch.

-o-

A brand new game show will start airing next week on the Bikini Bottom Public Access television network!

This show will test the strength, mental capacity, and resistance to chum of all our contestants! The winner of each episode will take home a grand prize of fifty thousand dollars!

Thirteen episodes have been slated to air, starting this Tuesday at 7 PM! Make sure you're home to see it! If you're not on it, of course!

Contestants needed! If you desire to be on this show, call the number below to earn your spot!

-o-

The number had been scrawled below.

"Game show? Oh boy, I love games! I bet Patrick would want to hear this," said SpongeBob. After scrawling the number on his arm the best he could, he ran for Patrick's rock, laughing the whole way there.

-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-

Five minutes later, he'd arrived. After screeching to a stop in front of the big rock, he knocked as hard as he could. "Patrick! Open up!"

The rock flipped open to reveal Patrick, sound asleep. His television was playing one of those coconut slapstick cartoons in the background, but the lights (or whatever lit his rock up, anyway) were off.

SpongeBob didn't waste a second, darting over to Patrick and shaking him like crazy. "Patrick! Wake up, wake up, wake up!"

Patrick went from "asleep" to "awake" in about five-hundredths of a second and sat up even faster than that. "SpongeBob, what's the big deal! I mean, today's…" He trailed off here.

"Today's Tuesday, Patrick."

"Tuesday! Right," he replied. "I always try to get extra sleep on Tuesdays."

"Sleep can wait, buddy," SpongeBob said. "I have great news!"

"They brought back the super-deluxe Krabby Patties back at the Krusty Krab?" Patrick started salivating a little when he said that.

"Even better," SpongeBob beamed. "I can get both of us a spot on a game show!"

Patrick vaulted to his feet, way faster than he should have been able to. "Game show? I love games!"

"Me too, Pat! Come on, let's go find a telephone so we can secure our spots!"

SpongeBob picked up Patrick's phone, some old-fashioned monstrosity made out of sand, and dialed what he hoped was the correct number (emphasis here on hoped, since he had minimal experience with this kind of phone). After a dial tone, a grouchy-sounding female voice stated, "You've called the line for spots on Bikini Bottom's newest up-and-coming game show. We are currently experiencing a massive influx of calls, so there may be a bit of a delay here. You will be referred to a helper shortly, but while you wait, please enjoy this selection of soothing tropical music."

A calm beat filled the room as SpongeBob and Patrick waited. After fifteen minutes of this, they were about ready to give up, thinking that all the spots had been taken already. However, that idea got firmly rejected once another voice began talking. "Hello? Are you calling about the new game show?"

It sounded slightly familiar, but neither SpongeBob nor Patrick could place it. In the end, it didn't really matter, as SpongeBob picked up the phone anyway. "Yes, we are. I'd like to get two spots, if possible. One for me and one for my best friend in the whole world."

"Of course that's fine. We're filling up fast, though. Can you two come to the first episode? It's not live, everything's pre-taped, so it'll be done on Sunday at around 7 PM," the voice said.

"I can do that!" SpongeBob let a smile spread from ear to ear. "That's a whole hour after I get off work at the greatest job in the world!"

"Thanks for the extra information," the voice said, now sounding a little annoyed. "And your friend?"

"Yeah, I think he'll be fine," SpongeBob said. Then, he whispered to Patrick, "Will you be fine?"

"Of course!" He screamed this into the phone, causing the operator to yelp noticeably in pain. "Sunday it is!"

"Okay then," the voice groaned. "Just arrive a half-hour before the taping is scheduled to start. It'll be at the empty boat warehouse, about half a mile outside Bikini Bottom."

SpongeBob had been there a few times before since it was where Squidward had held his band practices before the Bubble Bowl. It made sense that the show was being hosted here- the place was huge, it was empty, it had plenty of seating space available, and right now, all it was doing was gathering dust.

"Will be there, my good man," SpongeBob said.

"Sounds excellent," the voice said. Then, with a semi-creepy chuckle, it added, "I look forward to seeing you two," before hanging up.

SpongeBob and Patrick were both smiling ear-to-ear. "Can you believe it, Patrick! We're going to be on a game show in less than a week! I can't wait!"

Patrick was on board as well. "I can't either! If only Sandy had built, like, a time machine or something so we could jump forward right to the game show!"

"Aw, no need," SpongeBob replied. "We've already got its equivalent working for us right now!"

Patrick, understandably, was confused. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah," SpongeBob said. "It's called a time card!"

Patrick began scratching his head, trying to make sense of all this. "Well, how's that supposed to work?"

"You're about to find out, buddy!" SpongeBob grinned as he felt it begin to take effect. Suddenly, their surroundings blurred, their hearts raced, and everything around them disappeared.

Author's Notes:

-Hey there! I've had this idea for quite a long time (since 2015, in fact), but I've never gotten around to putting it on paper (or in a Word document). I just thought it'd be a fun little piece of lighter fare I could write to counteract the effects of the two super-dark, super-edgy ones I've got going on right now. Hope you enjoy it!

-Whenever you see this (-oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-) that implies a small time-skip has occurred. I did it that way to try and mimic the bubble transition from the show.

-This story is rated K+ for cartoon violence (like the slapstick that SpongeBob is known for) and mischief.

-See you next chapter!