This is another office parody, this time inspired by SpongeBob Squarepant's "The Graveyard Shift". I hope you enjoy!
Hank was going to be coming in late for the night shift that night. So that meant there was no one to look after Dundermifflin until Hank came in.
So, Michael needed two workers to keep watch. Dwight voulenteered right away, and Michael was almost ready to pick Pam, but Jim decided to step in and take over for her.
After all, being alone with Dwight for hours on end could get... annoying.
Que montage of Dwight doing various things in the office at night.
"Look! I'm in the breakroom. At night."
"Look Michael! I'm refilling the printers! At night!"
"Look at me I'm swabbing the bathroom! At night!"
"OW! I got a papercut! At night!"
Jim and Pam talked to each other before she left for the night.
"Are you sure you want to work here tonight?" asked Pam.
"Of course I do!" Jim responded.
"I'd be terrifed to work here at night... especially after the incident." replied Pam, walking out the door, giving Jim a playful smile. "Thanks Jim."
"The incident?" asked Jim. Then, he caught on. "Oh yeah, that incident."
"What incident?" asked Dwight.
"You didn't hear?" asked Jim. "It was all over the news!"
"What happened?" asked Dwight.
"The incident of the Scranton Ghost?" asked Jim.
"What?" Dwight asked.
"The Scranton Ghost." replied Jim.
"What?" asked Dwight.
"Gee Dwight, I'd tell you, but... it might ruin the night shift for you." replied Jim.
"Jim, as a worker at the office, I must know about the incident you're speaking of." Dwight replied, concerned.
"Well, about twenty years ago, there was an assistant to the regional manager who worked here... just like you... only clumsy!" exclaimed Jim. "And one night, as he was shredding documents, the worst thing happened."
"He wasn't paying attention and shredded the wrong documents by mistake?" Dwight asked.
"No." replied Jim.
"He got it jammed?"
"No."
"Confused it with the fax machine?"
"He cut off his own hand by mistake!" exclaimed Jim.
"Did he put it back on?" asked Dwight.
"He didn't know how to." replied Jim.
"So?" Dwight asked.
"So he couldn't put it back!" Jim exclaimed dramatically
"Oh no." Dwight replied.
"So he replaced it... with a ballpoint pen." replied Jim, holding his pen up. "And then, he got hit by a bus! And at his funeral... the boss fired him!"
Dwight gasped in shock.
"So every..." Jim continued, taking a brief glance over at the calendar. "Tuesday night, he arrives to take revenge!"
"How do we know he's coming?" Dwight asked.
"There's three signs. First, the lights will flicker on and off. Second, the phone will ring three times, but nobody will answer! Third, he arrives in the bus that ran him over! He enters the building... he taps on the door with his leaky pen... he opens the door... he walks down the hallway... and then..."
"Then what?" Dwight asked.
"Do you really want to know?" asked Jim.
"What does he do?" asked Dwight.
"HE GETS YOU!" Jim finished with flourish.
Dwight was not amused.
"Really Jim?" Dwight asked. "That's your big reveal? That has to be the worst ghost story I've ever heard! No one walks around Scranton to paper companies with a pen for a hand!"
A few hours later, Jim and Dwight were waiting in the front lobby. There wasn't much to do aside from watching, so Jim was flipping through a magazine.
"Jim, what are you doing?" Dwight asked, looking at Jim.
"Nothing, really." replied Jim.
"Well, I suggest you find something to do." replied Dwight.
A few minutes later, Jim was walking around with a broom, sweeping at the celling, occasionally making a sweep towards Dwight's head, making sure to make as much of an annoying scraping sound as possible.
"Isn't it great Dwight?" Jim asked. "There's no time to sweep the ceilings during the day!"
"I'm going to go take out the trash." replied Dwight, picking up the overflowing trash bag from the wastebasket.
He walked out to the doorway and paused.
"Afraid of the dark Dwight?" asked Jim, glancing over.
"No." Dwight replied quickly. Then he pushed open the door. "For Dundermifflin!"
Dwight ran, letting out a loud warrior's cry, out the front door of the office, ran to the dumpster, threw the bag in, and then ran back inside, still screaming, slamming the door behind him.
Dwight stopped screaming.
"Piece of cake." he responded.
"You know, I wonder who wants to buy paper at-" Jim asked, checking the clock. "Midnight. I mean, this place looks like a ghost town."
Meanwhile, Gabe was asleep in bed when his alarm went off.
"Oh boy!" he exclaimed, waking up. "It's midnight!"
Gabe imminently went on his phone to order some paper.
The lights started flickering.
"Very funny Jim." Dwight replied.
"What?" asked Jim.
"'And the lights will flicker on and off...' oh, you think you can scare me." Dwight replied. "You crack me up."
"Dwight, that's not me." replied Jim seriously.
"You have got to tell me how you manage to get the lights to flicker like that." Dwight replied.
"I'm not doing that." replied Jim.
"Sure you aren't." Dwight replied.
The phone rang. Dwight walked over to answer it.
"Dundermifflin, this is Dwight Schrute." Dwight called into the phone. He paused, then put it down. "No answer."
The phone rang again, and Dwight picked it up, making eye contact with Jim to see him.
"Dwight Scrute?" he asked again. Again, no answer. Dwight put the phone down.
"Is Pam in on this?" asked Dwight.
Then Dwight noticed Pam's cell phone on her desk. The phone rang again. Dwight cautiously picked it up, checking in the box for the number. Then he handed the phone to Jim.
"Jim Halpert?" Jim asked. Once again, silence.
Dwight put the phone down.
"I didn't recognize the number." Dwight replied.
"What's going on?" asked Jim.
"Okay... calm down... there was the lights, and the phone, and then the walls will ooze green slime!" responded Dwight, looking at a green stain near Creed's desk. "Wait, they always do that. What was the third thing?"
There was the sound of a bus pulling up to the front of the building. Dwight and Jim ran over to the window to see the bus pulling up and a figure dressed in a trench coat step out.
"I didn't know the buses ran this late." Jim commented.
"They don't!" Dwight exclaimed, running over to his laptop to check the security cameras. Jim made it first.
The figure entered the building and walked into the main lobby. The trenchcoat went over his head and he was also wearing a hat, but he moved her sleeve of his coat up...
...and revealed a ballpoint pen where her hand should have been.
Jim suddenly jumped back from the laptop with a scream.
"It's the sash bringing...rash dinging...hash ringing...hash slinging..." stuttered Jim.
"The Ghost of Scranton!" Dwight exclaimed, before bursting into tears.
Jim rushed over to the door and shut it.
"Don't you see?" asked Jim. "We're doomed!"
"No." replied Dwight, stopping his crying. "I just can't believe you would go through such lengths to scare me as to dress up as a fake ghost to try to scare me. I didn't know you cared so much."
"Dwight..." replied Jim. "How can I be there if I'm standing right here?"
There was a knock on the door.
Dwight screamed.
The door creaked open as the figure walked inside, pen held up.
Jim and Dwight ran to try to escape, but were blocked by the receptionist's desk. They shrank to the floor, helpless, as the Scranton Caper towered over them.
"Dwight, I never got to tell you this..." replied Jim. "But I've always sort of liked you!"
"Jim I used your hairbrush to help clean the toilet!" Dwight exclaimed.
Jim paused. "What?"
The figure stepped up to them. Jim and Dwight screamed, terrified. Then, suddenly...
"Can I apply for a job?"
Jim and Dwight looked up to the Scranton Caper and stood up. Upon removing her hat and adjusting her coat, it was revealed that the "Scranton Caper" was just a short, red haired young woman.
"I brought my own pen." replied the woman, holding up her pen to reveal that she did indeed have a hand. "I tried to call earlier, but I got nervous and hung up."
There was a pause.
"Do you have references?" Dwight asked.
A few minutes later, Dwight had gotten the very friendly and talkative young woman the job application papers. Hank finally came in, and Dwight and Jim were relived to return home. Seeing how the woman had missed the last bus, Jim offered to drive her home.
After dropping off the woman, Jim drove back to his house. Just as he pulled in the driveway, he got a call from Dwight.
"Weird night, huh?" Dwight asked.
"Yeah, tell me about it." replied Jim.
"One thing I don't understand..." replied Dwight. "What was with the flickering of the lights?"
"Oh that..." replied Jim. "Probably Noesferatu. Or the creatures."
"What creatures?" Dwight asked.
"Lucky we didn't run into them." replied Jim. "Wouldn't want to wind up like Lee Abbott."
"Who's Lee Abbott?" asked Dwight.
"Exactly." replied Jim.
"What?"
"Goodnight Dwight."
Jim hung up his phone, got out of the car, and walked into his house.
And that's how Erin got hired by Dundermifflin.