A SLOW DAY, AT THE GRIFFIN'S HOUSE!

"Fifty one, fifty two, fifty three" Brian said, counting the pages of his book! "Twenty nine, thirty, thirty one" Chris said, counting stickers! "One two three! One two three! One two three" Peter said, moping the kitchen floor.

"Lois, can we please get a break? my hands are cramping up. (Looking at them) And think one is asleep" Peter said. Lois sighed, "I'm sorry. My parents are coming over and I want everything organized and spotless like daddy likes it" She said.

"How come your not working? That's no fair!" Peter cried. Lois sighed again. "Okay! everyone gets a 1 hour break. And then back to work" She said, filing the newspapers.

"Uh! finally all 150 pages of my book. organized and spotless" Brian said. (Stewie walks over with grape juice) "Brian are you busy today? Cause I have something that would turn those 150 pages of your book, into a thousand-and-five page" Stewie said. "Really?" Brian said excitedly. "Yah. Meet me in my room in... let's say... fifty minutes to an hour?" He said, walking off.

Pewterschmidt residents

Barbara and Carter get ready to leave. "I can't believe we have to go today. I have a doctor's appointment to go to tomorrow. And you know how It went, when I didn't get my 9 hours of sleep" Carter said. (Flashback to Carter's last appointment)

"Alright Mr. Pewterschmidt, open up and say ahh! please" Dr. Hartman said. Carter opens his mouth, puking green goo! "Good God, this man is possessed. Alice call an exorcist!!!" Hartman screamed.

"Carter we haven't seen Lois in almost a year and a half" Barbara said. Carter sighed. "Fine! But if where staying for dinner, forget it" He said, walking out the door.

Back at the Griffin's residents

Lois is beginning to have a panic attack, cause of a stain she found under the coffee table. "Mom, calm down. It's just a stain" Chris yelled. "Shut up Chris! this is how you yell at a women" Peter said, shaking Lois. "LOIS, CALM DOWN!!! IT'S JUST A STAIN!!!!" He yelled. "Enough! I know it's just a stain. I just want this house spotless. Cause when I was little..." Lois said, before Peter interrupted. "Oh! here we go with your stories" Peter nagged. "Oh I'm sorry, did I interrupt you?" Lois said Angrly.

"No" He whined, sitting down. "Anyway. When I was little, daddy had a thing with stains. Whenever somebody would spill a drink on the carpet, he would throw whatever he had at you. It didn't matter what it was. He hit me with a brick, and I fell into a coma for four weeks" She said.

"Wow! didn't you tell the police that?" Chris asked. "No, cause if you did that, he would threaten to kill your loved ones. One time he killed somebody's grandma, cause the person saw him throw a loaf of bread at me and told the cops. He escaped the police station, and killed his grandma. When he was taken to court, he got away with murder" Lois said.

Stewie's room

"Alright Stewie it's been two hours" Brian said. "Aw yes. I just have added the finishing touches and Wala!" Stewie said, pointing to his invention. "It's a computer printer" Brian said.

"It's not just a printer. It's automatic copier that can add more progress to your story. Ending with the best ever" Stewie said, placing the story into his machine.

"Thanks. But is it gonna cost anything?" Brian asked. "Hmm? Oh yes your total comes up to twenty dollars or a free surprise" Stewie replied, holding his hand out. "What's the surprise?" Brian asked. Stewie reaches down at Brian's crotch area, making Brian angry. "I'm straight, not gay Stewie" He said.

"What. You thought I was gonna suck your crotch... No! I wouldn't do that. I mean it would be nice, cause I never tasted it. "STEWIE FOR THE LAST AND FINAL FUCKING TIME. I'M NOT GAY!!" Brian screamed.

"Okay man take it easy" Stewie replied calmly. The machine then spits out Brian's papers, which land in a shredder, tearing it into pieces. Brian couldn't believe it, his life's work, gone. He began babbling about how Stewie's stupid machine malfunctioned and ripped up his paper. He then got the point of grabbing Stewie by his neck, shaking him. "Okay! Brian, Brian? It's not my fault my machine malfunctioned" Stewie cried. "Oh yeah, then who did, god?" Brian screamed.

Stewie walked over and noticed the problem immediately. "Oh here's the problem. This rock must have came through and broke this certain chip" He said.

"Well what about my life's work" Brian said, in tears. "Your life's work! Is that all you care about? You you don't care about me? You know your such a scumbag!" Stewie said.

"Stewie I do care about you. But those 100 some odd pages, where gonna be turned into another good novel. Like my before book faster then the speed of love, or wish it want it do it. Brian said.

"Sorry! I normally don't like coming down on you. it's just that, I get mad when you yell at me" Stewie replied.

"Well I guess I better go back down stairs and work for another 2 to three weeks, worth of writing" Brian said, walking down stairs. "Oh I feel so bad for him" Stewie said, "Stupid brain, I blame you dammit!"

He walked down stairs to follow Brian. Brian, just sat back at his computer and began typing again.

"Come on Be-ri. Take on me! Take me on! I'll be gone, in a day or too" Stewie said. "I know what your doing Stewie, and it's not doing anything" Brian said.

"Uh, I know how about a little music to help you write" Stewie said, playing nostalgic romance. Brian looked at him confused, and disgusted. "Okay! now your really pissing me off" Brian said.

"I'm just trying to help" Stewie said. Brian left to write his novel in the living room. "God, he doesn't like when I bother him. It's like he hates me now".

"Damn this musician is very scared of women, if I had the money to pay for a ticket, then I would fly across the US and meet him" Brian said. Stewie walks in, and steals some of Brian's papers.

"Alright Rupert, I'm gonna see if I can change a few of these words" He said. While he tried to scrap words out and replace them, he accidentally slid one of his papers into his paper shredder. He began panicking, and tried to replace it, before Brian noticed, but it was no use.

"Oh my God, Brian's gonna kill me" Stewie said scared. "Stewie, where my other papers?" Brian yelled, walking upstairs. "Oh god, Brian's coming, I gotta hide" Stewie said, as he ducked behind his pile of stuffed animals.

Brian walked in, and collected his papers, and walked back out. Stewie sighed in relief, and ran to watch Brian downstairs.

"So daddy, how's things been?" Lois asked. "A bunch of lesbigays came in and asked to be hired, so in my own words, I told them to shut the hell up, and to never come back, OR I'LL RIP YOUR FUCKING ARMS OFF, AND PUNCH YOU IN YOUR FACES, TO DEATH!!" Carter replied Everybody was in complete shock. "Okay... mom, how you've been?" Lois asked. "Same old things. I've sighed up for a golf tournament for you and your family" Barbra replied.

"No, I suck at golf. I got kicked out for breaking one of there equipment" Brian said. *Flashback begins* Shows Brian putting, the ball rolls to the hole, and rolls back. "AWW MOTHER FUCKER, SON OF A BITCH! GODDAMN CHEATING, SPAM SHIT!" He throws his ball, landing in the bucket and uses his putter to smash a replica of the statue of liberty. *Flashback ends*

"So Grandpa, can you continue telling your story about when you threatened to kill those queers?" Chris asked. "Aww, yes. So like I was saying, after all that shenanigan, they call us and threaten to beat our asses to death" Carter said. The rest of it's cut off by Stewie trying to replace Brian's paper.

"Come on, stay together. No! No! No! Nooo!!! I know I have to tell Brian the truth. No, cause if I do that he'll kill me. Wait, what if I just used my time machine... oh that's right it malfunctioned weeks ago. Well, I'll listen to this song and try to think" Stewie said.

He sat back and began listening to his music, and finally got the idea. "I got it, I can paste myself on the paper and re-write his story" He said.

Stewie immediately got to work on his machine. Brian barged in with anger. "I know you did it Stewie, where's page 54?" Brian said.

"Okay, I shredded it with my paper shredder, I tried to tape it back together, but there it wasn't no use. Please don't beat my ass" Stewie cried.

"I'm not gonna kill you, whatever your doing it better work. You understand me?" Brian growled.

"Trust me. This will work guaranteed" Stewie said, as he stepped in his machine.

"What do you want me to do?" Brian yelled. "Put that paper in the left box, and press the button" Stewie yelled back. Brian obeyed, and did everything. By the time he hit the button, the machine lit up white and exploded.

"STEWIE!" Brian yelled.

...TO BE CONTINUED, IN PART TWO!...