All the people in La Push and Forks were aware of Paul's reigning titles of Resident Hothead, No-Fucks-Given Fuckboy, Asshole Extraordinaire. This was a fact of life like the sun rising from the east, the moon rising at night, gravity holding them down, oxygen being vital to living things, etc. The four basic feelings Paul had were anger, lust, hunger and fatigue, therefore it was beyond anyone's imagination to see Paul feel anything else.
The day Paul stumbled into Sam's house, no one could've predicted they were about to witness something miraculous that very moment. The unfamiliar expression troubled the boys watching the sports channel. Was something wrong with Paul?
Without greeting the boys, Paul snuck into the kitchen, his phone in one hand. The boys turned back to watch the television, unassuming. Paul dialled a number and waited impatiently. 'Yo, bitch! What up, dude?'
In the living room, Quil automatically looked up. 'Is that Bella?'Seth whispered.
'Why is she speaking like that?' Jared questioned.
'They've got a bet going on, the two of them. I don't know the specifics, it IS Paul after all,' Jake explained, his eyes flickering towards the kitchen and back to the TV.
'Stop talking like that,' Paul grumbled.
'A'ight, what up, dawg?' Bella drawled, her pitch lowering.
Paul rolled his eyes but muttered, 'You're crazy.'
Bella giggled and teased, 'Crazy 'bout you, Paulie.'
'Wait, what?' Jake's voice was shrill as he snapped his head towards the kitchen.
'Did she just call him Paulie?' Seth whispered, terrified.
'Did she just say she's crazy about him?' Jared squawked, disbelief evident on his face.
'Let's go see what's happening,' Quil whispered excitedly.
'Um, maybe we shouldn't,' Embry mumbled, knowing how much Paul would beat them up if he found out they were eavesdropping on him.
'Oh no, we have to see what's going on,' Jake declared as he shot up to his feet, sneaking over to the doorway to watch Paul. Theothers didn't look sheepish or nervous as they too followed Jake, shoving each other to find the best possible view.
Embry thought, 'Shit's gonna hit the fan.' But he too was curious about the ongoing conversation.
The boys watched Paul as he ripped a paper into several pieces. He was silent as he stared at the tattered papers in his hand. Finally, he croaked out, 'Oh no!'
Bella'svoice grew panicked as she cried out, 'What is it? What happened? Who died?'
Paul breathed heavily as he stared at the paper. 'I think I just felt an.. emotion,' he stated.
There was absolute silence on the other end. The boys were speechless, as well. Bella groaned, 'You have GOT to be kidding me.'
And then, the boys saw Paul's lips turn up into a small smile which stretched into wide grin and then... he threw his head back and burst into loud guffaws.
'Oh my god, is that what I think it is? Are you actually laughing? Is someone near you?! Please tell me someone's nearby and can record this for me! Anyone?? Please! ' Bella screamed loudly.
Paul's teeth shone in the kitchen's dim light, 'I'm crazy about you too, bitch.'
You could have dropped a feather on the ground and still have heard it crash. There was silence all around. Jake's eyes rolled to the back of his head as he stumbled backwards into Quil's chest. Quil grabbed his arm to steady him, not wanting to get caught now. No one dared breathe or even blink, in case they missed the conversation.
Paul's grin didn't vanish, instead it became even wider. 'Didn't expect me to fall for you, did you, little girl?' Paul drawled smugly.
Bella whispered with awe, 'I still can't believe you LAUGHED. I can't get over that, and THEN you tell me you're cray-cray about me? Paul, Imma have a heart attack, dawg!'
Paul chuckled and tore another strip of paper to keep his hands busy. 'I really do love you, you do know that, right?' He asked her in such a soft tone that the boys eavesdropping on his conversation had to rub their eyes and shake their heads to remind themselves that yes, this WAS Paul Lahote!
There was a soft giggle from the other end and then, 'I love you too, my big cuddly-wuddly wolf.'
Paul whined, 'Fuck no! Don't call me that! You know I hate that!'
Bella guffawed and purred, 'Yes, Paul.. I know that but am I going to listen to you? No.. no, I'm not.' With a loud cackle of delight, she yelled, 'Love you, snookums! Bye!' And she hung up.
Jared slapped Jake's face, trying to bring him back to reality. 'Did he just... Did she... No, this isn't possible,' Seth croaked with disbelief.
The boys watched Paul as he gazed at his phone adoringly and murmured, 'Oh, she's going to get it, my little Red.'
The boys quickly rushed back to their spots to avoid looking suspicious, but Paul walked back into the living room and scowled at them all, 'Any word, any at all, and I'm kicking your ass.'
No one spoke while they watched him stroll out of there, whistling softly, with a skip in his step.
'You think anyone's going to believe this if we tell them?' Embry finally asked.
'I still don't believe what I just saw,' Jared shook his head to clear it.
'You reckon it's a prank?' Seth rubbed his jaw nervously.
'It can't be... Have you ever even heard of Paul PRANKING someone?' Jared retorted.
'Well, have you ever heard him LAUGH?' Seth countered.
'Guys, guys, let's be honest here. We're probably dreaming, that's all,' Jake was adamant on not believing what he had just seen. 'Why can't I dream of something nice, instead? Like a free banquet?' Embry murmured.
'Better yet, lemme dream of a strip club!' Quil added in his two cents excitedly.
'How 'bout we just forget what we just saw?' Jared decided it was the best course of action.
'It WAS a pretty terrifying sight, to be honest,' Jake muttered.