Star Wars: Qui Gon gets blue balled
Qui Gon was about to bust his nut. The Twi'Lek prostitute was oinkin' and moanin'. "Fuck this is some good alien pussy! I've needed to get my jedi cock wet for some time now!" Chancellor Velorain burst in the sliding doors; Qui Gon did a backflip out the nearby window, bursting glass shards everywhere, killing the sex slut. "That was close. Glad I made that escape, gods be damned if I get caught fuckin' as a celibate Jedi." Chancellor Veloran was fanning his face with his hand like a gay person does when they get emotionally choked up. "I can't be dealing with this SHIT right now. I'm gonna post about it on my Insta." He stuck a banana in his ass and did a cartwheel out of the room.
Qui Gon had another problem, out of the pan and into the fire..if you will. "I never came, now my balls are sore." Blue Balls. The worst condition in the galaxy. His cum was backed up. Was Qui Gon gonna wank? No! He was going straight to the pub to pick up another fuck hole to plug. He held his thumb out for a taxi "Taxi please, for gods sake I'm a muthafuckin' Jedi, byaaatcchhh!" he used force push on the driver, launching him through a building wall. He hopped in and sped off "Lets party!" The speeder zoomed off. Sirens started blaring. "Stop, this is the space police. Put one hand in the air and another in your ass!" "eat shit and die!" Qui Gon was getting shot up the ass by blaster fire. He quickly force leapt to the nearest cop car, whipped out his saber, holding it as if it were his cock, and started hip-thrusting the StarWars copper. The cops all shit themselves and died in an explosion that Qui Gon walked away from slowly, putting sunglasses on.
"Finally, I'm here. Peachys Pussy Palace…the best place on Coruscunt..nay..the galaxy to get a hoe to pound your balls with a rubber mallet..I mean suck you off…" He corrected himself as someone overheard what he just said and gave him the stink eye. Qui Gon used force mindtrick to make him walk off the platform to his death for that infraction. "Ruby Bleels, neat please.." "One coming up…may I recommend a Zabrak female..rare magical pussy from the sexual sisterhood of Dathomir?" "I'll take 2 to room 32 please!" Qui Gon skipped in glee to his room, already with a chub floppin around. The sisters gave him a big rip from their magical maul bong and sent him into a sexual coma. "Ahhhhh ffuuaaaaccckkkahh!" Qui Gon exclaimed as the two sluts took turns swapping pussy holes on his podracer. He emptied a fat jedi master force midechlorian enriched gallons sized load of pure white jelly into their collective assholes. "That was quite nice, actually! I think I'll go to the jedi temple and meditate masturbate now"
THE END