After Midnight

by Madame Bomb

Zuki Week - Day 1 (March 29th)

Prompt: FIRSTS

Rating: M+

Word Count: 2,898

Summary: After sleeping with Zuko for the first time, Suki has to wonder what this means, or if it even means anything at all.

Notes: I had to start Zuki Week off right: WITH SOME SMUT!

Suki's eyes fluttered opened and then closed again, confusion marring her brow as she tried to remember why she wasn't in her own bed. And why there was something warm and muscled curled against her body. And why her body was so wonderfully sore...

Her eyes drifted shut again, but then immediately snapped open as memory flooded back to her. She stiffened, breathing in the scent of sex and sweat, and above it all, Zuko.

His scent was everywhere; in her hair, on her skin, on the sheets, in the air around her. It was spicy, masculine, of tea and warm things that made her muscles clench and her teeth dig into her bottom lip. She remembered everything and then wondered how she had forgotten, even for a moment, what had happened earlier that night.

Warmth flooded her face as she slid her hand down Zuko's bare shoulder, a thousand little memories floating to the surface of her sleepy mind. Of his lips on hers, his hands pushing into her. Loving her with his mouth until all she'd been able to do was gasp his name and tumble into pleasure, on fire for him in a way she hadn't thought possible...

Zuko was lying on her stomach, his breath warm on her bitten skin. She was stark naked beneath him, and suspected that he was too. She didn't even know where her uniform had ended up; undressing each other had been a blur of hands and lips and teeth. She could hardly blush about waking up naked in the Fire Lord's bed, not after making love to him for hours. He'd seen, touched, and tasted every inch of her, and she'd done the same to him.

A hot flash went up her spine as the memories rolled over her, her fingers stroking through Zuko's tumbled, tangled hair, which spilled like black silk across her bare breasts. Zuko's arm tightened on her hip and he made a soft sound. It wasn't an awake sound, but she stilled anyway, staring up at the red-draped canopy above her.

The fire in the hearth was low, just embers now when it had been a roaring flame hours ago. Shadows danced in the dim light and she watched them, drawing in a steady breath to calm the rising panic in her chest that grew the longer she laid there in his arms.

She and Zuko had made love, and that...that was huge. That was life-changing. That meant something. She knew that it did. It hadn't just been sex, and she'd known that from the first moment he'd pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

She'd known this was coming. How could she not? The way he'd been looking at her for months now had said everything the both of them had been afraid to. When he'd moved toward her, determination and desire in his eyes, she hadn't stopped him. She hadn't wanted to stop him.

She'd wanted him, more than she'd ever wanted a man in her life. He hadn't disappointed her either. He'd even surprised her.

Suki put a hand over her face, smiling and blushing at the same time at the memory of the way he'd made her scream so hard she'd had to bite a pillow to stifle the sound. Even now her body echoed with the pleasure, little earthquakes of memory that lit her skin and stoked that fire in her again.

So what did this mean? Did it mean anything?

It was suddenly unbearably hot in the bed, Zuko's Firebender-hot skin sticking to hers, sweat pooling where their bodies connected. Suki gently, bit by bit, extracted herself from beneath him. Zuko moaned again and rolled over onto the bed.

His arm reached for her, but she slid out of the bed, out of reach. His hand groped at the covers and then went limp, his face still and peaceful in the low firelight. He had the red silk sheet draped over his stomach, but the rest of him was deliciously on display.

He was beautiful. Every inch of him, from the scar on his face that caught the light in stark relief, to the wild tumble of his dark hair, to the muscles of his chest, rising and falling as sleep held him like a lover. There were little smudges of white and black and red on his shoulders and around his mouth; evidence of her paint, which he'd done his best to destroy.

She probably looked like a smudged wreck by now, but she didn't mind very much.

Her chest ached, her breathing tight as she slipped backward away from him. Her foot caught on a piece of cloth. She picked it up and realized that it was Zuko's lost shirt. She vaguely remembered tearing it off of him on the way to the bed.

She slipped it on over her head and pulled it down, chagrined to realize that she really had ripped it off of him. It was already too big on her, but the neckline was torn and exposed her left shoulder. It was better than being naked though, so she just pushed the sleeves back as she walked toward the balcony doors.

The doors opened with a well-oiled sigh, letting in cool night air. She breathed in, the breeze flowing into the room stirring her tangled hair back from her heated face. She rubbed at her eyes, and they came away black from her smudged makeup.

Chagrined, she gathered up his torn shirt and wiped at her face, trying to clean her paint off as much as she could. She probably just made it worse and it didn't take her long to give it up as a lost cause. She leaned against the open balcony door, letting the air cool her warm skin. She could just see the stars and judged by their position that it wasn't nearly as late as she'd thought. Just after midnight.

She closed her eyes, trying to make herself think past the emotions swirling in her. It wasn't easy, not when her heart was aching and her body held tight to the ghosts of Zuko's desire.

She stood there for nearly a half an hour, until the heat on her skin faded in the night air. The breeze turned, flowing past her with a hard push. It fluttered the curtains on the windows and on the canopy bed. She heard Zuko wake with a soft sigh and a mumble of her name.

"Suki?"

He sat up on the bed, looking around the room, as the wind made the low flames in the hearth dance like little dragons. He spotted her at the balcony doors and she saw his sleepy expression change from soft question to a slow, simmering smile.

Tingles spread through her from head to toe as their eyes met, connecting like burning arrows. Shivers coursed down her skin and it wasn't from the chill air coming in through the open doors.

"What are you doing?"

"I needed some air," she said, tucking her hair behind her ear, hoping that her paint didn't look too horrific. "Go back to bed."

But he shook his head, slipping out of the bed. He took the sheet with him, knotting it around his waist like a sarong. It trailed behind him, riding low on his narrow hips and showing far too much thigh. She took a sharp breath and forced her gaze on his face as he shook his hair back and then came over to stand beside her.

"I'm awake now," he said, slipping his arms around her waist from behind. Then he nuzzled her neck with a low moan, and she forgot the strange panic that had driven her out of the bed completely. Zuko's arms were strong and steady around hers as he pulled her back against his chest. "Unless you want to go back to bed with me?"

His mouth landed on her shoulder with a heavy, warm weight, pulling at her skin. Her eyes fluttered shut, her neck tilting into the heat of his mouth as shivers burst down her skin. She put her hands over his on her stomach, trembling a little.

She knew the invitation for what it was, and she was tempted. More than tempted. His mouth on her skin opened up the floodgates again. She couldn't resist him and she knew it.

At least not for long.

But instead of telling him that she wanted him as much as he obviously wanted her again, she said softly, "We need to talk, Zuko."

Zuko immediately lifted his head. "Shit. Conversations that start with 'we need to talk' never end well."

There was fear in his voice, and his body stiffened against hers, suddenly wary. She realized with a start what he must be thinking.

"That's not what I meant," she said, turning in his arms, but he stepped away from her, grasping at the sheet at his waist. "Well, it is, but it's not... I... Zuko, we slept together."

"I know. I was there," he said, and the happy light in his eyes was unmistakable. It died away however, as he looked at her and frowned. "Did you not...? Was it not...? G-good?"

"WHAT?" Suki said loudly and then jammed her hand over her mouth. "No! I mean, yes!"

"No, it was bad or yes, it was bad?"

"Neither! It was good. So good," Suki said in a rush, closing the little distance between them, her hand on his chest. Zuko let out a tight breath. "It was amazing. It was... You were..." But she didn't have words for it. It had been incredible; her body was still tingling, her knees still a little weak. Not good? She'd die happy if the last thing she ever did was make love to Zuko. "Zuko, you were everything."

Zuko's body relaxed with that tight breath, and he closed his hand over hers on his chest. "You were everything too. You are my everything." He let out a soft laugh, lowering his head with embarrassment. "I've wanted to say that to you for a long time."

"I feel the same way about you."

He smiled, and the expression ripped through the last of her fear. She lifted up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. She started to drop back down onto her heels, but Zuko turned his head, capturing her mouth with his own. His hand cupped her cheek as he kissed her, soft and warm, questing. Asking her if this was what she wanted.

She kissed him back, answering him the only way she knew how. Oh yes, she wanted him, wanted this. She always had.

The kiss grew heated, as Zuko's hand left hers on his chest, and wrapped around her waist, pulling her against him. Her arms slid around his neck and then...

She was lost. Utterly lost.

She was vaguely aware of Zuko picking her up against him, but he didn't carry her for long. He sank down into one of the chairs in front of the fireplace, moving her until she was draped across his lap. His hands stroked her thighs, up beneath the hem of his ripped shirt, until she was squirming at the pressure of his fingers on her skin.

She kissed him until they were both breathless, her hands on his chest, touching the places she had longed to touch for far too long. When she pulled back for air, Zuko was panting, and she could feel his desire against her, the sheet doing very little to hide it.

Her fingers slipped down between them, pushing beneath the gathered knot of the sheet. Zuko groaned against her mouth, but his hand caught her wrist.

"Wait," he said in a ragged voice, and she withdrew, brows furrowing in question. "You wanted to talk."

"I did?" she mumbled and then remembered. She laughed a little, the sound soft in the sex-scented air. Her fingers swirled around the ends of his long hair. "Right... Don't you think we should talk about this?"

Zuko nodded and then cupped her chin, making her look up into his eyes, which reflected the fire at her back. His eyes were lit up like sun-warmed honey, like molten gold, and she could see the force of his desire burning there. Burning for her.

"Yes," he said, and then the same expression that had started this whole thing tonight came over his face. It was a sly look, knowing, greedy, full of desire and determination. He'd looked at her like that before he'd broken the last barrier between them, shattering their friendship and taking them over the edge into something more, the very place they had both wanted it to go for far too long.

"What is this?" she asked, even though she thought she knew. She could see his intentions plain in his eyes, could feel it in the tremble of his hands, could taste it in the desire that pooled like warm honey in his mouth. "Zuko, I'm your bodyguard and you're... You're the Fire Lord. I don't know how this works."

Zuko shook his head, and his hand was hot on her thigh beneath the torn shirt. He dragged her closer on his lap.

"I don't know either," he said with a little shrug. "But I want tonight to be more than just our first time. I want you, Suki. Not just in my bed. I want you...however I can get you. However you want. However you want to define this. I want this to be..."

He didn't say the word forever, but she could see it in his eyes. He looked at her with his heart open and unguarded, something Zuko rarely was.

Suki took a breath and then smiled. But her smile faded a moment later. "I'm still your bodyguard. You're still the Fire Lord," she repeated, but that was important for some reason.

Zuko shrugged again. "That doesn't matter to me."

"It should. It complicates things."

But Zuko nuzzled his nose with hers, his lips hovering against hers. His breath was warm and sweet, promising her wild things that she wanted to chase and explore. His hand on her thigh tightened. "Things got complicated well before tonight, Suki. I'm pretty sure the minute I fell in love with you things went past complicated and ran right into terrifying."

Suki stilled on his lap, pulling back, her lips parting. Zuko studied her face, clocking her reaction with a stillness that told her more than his words had. He was waiting for her reaction, his whole heart on the line, open like a book before her.

"You're in love with me?" she whispered.

"Yes," he said without hesitation.

"Did you know before tonight?"

"Yes."

The words sat in the air between them. The breeze from the open balcony doors couldn't cool the heat rising beneath her skin now. It flared out like a flash bomb, searing her to the roots of her soul, until all she could do was burn bright before him.

"Zuko..."

"That's what this is," Zuko said softly. "You and me. That's how I feel. That's what I want. I don't know how you feel, but I hope you want that too."

"I love you," she said, and the words left her without thought, without hesitation. She hadn't ever let herself think those words, but she'd felt them, felt them so hard it had been all she could do not to turn to ash at his feet, dying in agony from her feelings. "I love you, Zuko. I knew before tonight too. I've always known, I've always... I wanted... I..."

But words failed her.

Zuko smiled as she got tongue tied, and it was her undoing. She kissed him, hard, and his hands tangled in her hair. After that they didn't speak again. They didn't need to. He made love to her as he had that first time; like there was nothing else he wanted in the world but to be there with her, in her arms, pleasuring her.

She rose and fell on his lap, her hands on his, his mouth on her neck. Pleasure raced through her, sweat on her body. Zuko groaned into her mouth, taking her to the edge again and again, until she couldn't resist. She came in his arms, crying out his name.

He didn't let her fall, holding her tightly, kissing the sweat from her skin, telling her without words exactly how he felt about her. She could feel it, and knew that he hadn't been lying. He loved her.

Zuko loved her.

And afterward, lying in his arms in the chair, naked again, she stroked her hand down his bare chest and felt his slow breathing, the steady rise and fall of his chest. He wasn't asleep; his hands stroked her bare back and the top of her buttocks, and he was humming happily.

She didn't know the song, but it was comforting and slow, lulling her into a half-doze as the firelight died down and the night wore well past midnight and into early morning.

Suki snuggled down onto his chest, smiling softly, as content as a cat. She fell asleep in his arms in the chair they'd made love in. It was their first night together.

It would not be the last.

(end)