It hurt.
Each time more than the last.
He had gone through this whole thing seven times before, but the pain was always here, always present. Here he was again, on the same place, and he knew there was one more to come. But really, he didn't want to think about it. He had always been one of those who lives the day as it comes, never worried about the future. But maybe this was too much for someone, even for him.
He didn't even want this at first. Really, if he could have chosen back then, he wouldn't be here today. But he was unconscious when the doctor made his choice, and he didn't get to say anything. But still, he had been so angry. He knew what was going to happen to him. why the hell did he do such a thing? He sighed. That was useless. What was done, was done. Trafalgar D. Water Law died so he could live.
But there was not a day when Luffy was not thinking about it. The immortality. As if he had ever wanted to live forever. Yes, when Law offered it to him, it allowed him to realize his dream. Yes, he had done it, he had become the pirate king. But that had been years ago now, and here he was, still alive, almost alone.
Because the thing about this whole immortality thing is, you can't die. But people you love can. And that was unfair. Watching them die, one after the other, it was so painful. He had lost most of his crewmates. Saw them die, burried them, all in the same place of course, because hey, they couldn't be separated, could they?
Chopper had been the first. And, honestly, that was far from fair. He was the youngest, no one was ready to see him die this soon. How old was he again? Not even 60. But as strong as they could be, none of them could stop death. But sometimes, Luffy felt like that Chopper had been somehow lucky. That it was the best thing that could have happened, after all. Because the little reindeer hadn't had to face his friends' death. He had been so sad when they learned about that old woman's death, even if it was not surprising, since she was already so old when they had met.
He didn't suffer. He had died in his sleep, peacefully. He had gone to bed and hadn't woken up. Even the greatest doctor in the world couldn't stop time. He was dead. That was it. But still, he was the youngest. Maybe it's because he is – was – an animal. In any case, none of them was ready for this. Chopper had invited them all, the day before, and they had spent the night talking about the past and sharing the memories they all knew so well. Thinking about it now, it was like Chopper had known what was going to happen, and had wanted to spend his last day with the people he loved most. It was Usopp who discovered him. Sanji had finished cooking for breakfast. He wanted to wait for everyone to wake up, but when even Zoro was awake and still not the little reindeer, Usopp had tried to wake him up.
It was rare, seeing him frozen like that. He was so pale and his voice was so low when he had returned, alone, into the kitchen. They all had been silent, looking at each other. They had faced so many things, but this was new, even for them. Yes they had seen people died, but never a nakama. And then Luffy had laughed, because, hell, that was just a bad lie again, wasn't it? He had laughed because he was Luffy, and he was still that young boy. 'Don't be stupid Usopp!' he had said. And when he looked at the long-nosed man, who was still standing at the door, he had known. And he cried. He cried until his eyes hurt. And he realized, in that moment, that it was only the beginning. Because he was going to be nineteen forever, but they wouldn't. They would all grow up until they would be too old. Chopper had just been the first.
As he realized it, he asked them all to come and live with him, until the end. He wanted to be with them for all their last days. And they had all agreed. Well, at first, he wanted them to sail. But that was not quite possible, of course. Sometimes, he was forgetting they were all more or less old. How could Robin and Franky, who were in their seventies, be able to fight back if anything happened?
It felt like before. Like they had never left the Sunny, like they were still chasing after their dreams. The same laughs, the same little fights. It felt like it could be this way forever. But of course, it couldn't.
Brook had been next. And, to be honest, it was quite unexpected. Luffy hadn't thought a dead man could die again, but it turned out his devil fruit wasn't offering him immortality, just another life that had to end at some point. It was quite a nice evening. It was calm. Zoro was sleeping, Sanji was cooking, Robin was reading. Usopp was helping Franky fixing a door Luffy had broken in the morning (Really, it was an accident. He had smelt Sanji's food and hadn't seen it was closed. He couldn't be blamed.). Nami was writing a letter to Vivi, and Luffy was near her, because he had so many things to say to her, too. And Brook was playing violin, a so beautiful melody, and everyone was somehow listening. Until it stopped, in the middle of it. The music stopped, and the violin fell on the floor, just as Brook's body. Luffy hadn't been able to listen to violin since this day.
Just as Chopper, there wasn't anyone apart from the crew the day they burried him. Just the seven of them. One less than before. 'If this is what immortality means, then i'd rather die' Luffy had thought. 'How did Brook do when he lost his first crew?'. And maybe, just maybe, Brook had died the second because no one deserved to live this pain twice. He had already gone through this, and it wasn't fair for him to lose the people he cared about again.
Then, some months later, it had been Robin. Probably a heart attack. Luffy didn't know, didn't care to know what killed her because, the point was, she died. And the pain came back, more violent than before, killing him inside. She couldn't even finished the book she had started. Nami had found her. She wanted to borrow a book. But when she entered the room, she discovered the black-haired woman on her chair. She seemed asleep, but Nami noticed the book at her feet. And she had known. Because Robin would always finish her book before sleeping, or at least would she leave it on a table. And she couldn't do it this time.
Death had come and had taken her away. Away from life, away from her friends. She died, leaving six sad friends behind her. And when they found her, Luffy could still hear her shouting on that damn roof on Enies Lobby. 'I want to live'. He could (and he had) save her back then. He couldn't this time. None of them could. And the more time was passing by, the more Luffy saw them becoming older. Weakier. He was so used of their strength. He wasn't ready to see this happening. Would he ever be? Of course, not.
Franky had been next. Luffy had hoped his cyborg body would allowed him to live longer, but it didn't. The truth is, this body betrayed him. Because even Luffy had noticed that even cola wasn't helping him to feel better. His consumption of cola had really increased the last few weeks, and he always looked tired. But of course he didn't say anything about it. What was it to say? 'Oh, I'm dying, I'll probably be next, please don't cry'? No, this was useless. Then Robin died. And to be honest, Franky wasn't ready. He was certain he would die before her, and maybe the surprise made him die even quickier. Nami had tried to send a letter to Water Seven, to Icebarg, only to learn that the man had died two weeks before.
Franky died, leaving behind him Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp and Sanji. They had been the five first and were the five last. And Luffy realized the hardest was to come. Because he loved each of them, of course he did, but he had known those four for the longest. They had been together even before entering the Grand Line. They had crossed the Reverse Mountain together. Just the five of them against the world. Luffy could still remember the day they made their promises, one after the other, on the Merry. And he couldn't help but smile a bit, because they all did it. They had fullfied their promises.
How many years passed after Franky's death? Luffy didn't remember, but, if you'd asked him, not enough. But what had to happen, happened. Sanji had prepared a juice with different fruits for them. Of course, he pretended there was only one for Nami, but ended up giving one to each of them. But Nami wasn't in the room with the others. So he went to her bedroom and knocked on the door. Only to be answered by silence. He had entered slowly in the room, had seen her on her desk. She seemed asleep but it was 4 PM, and she never slept during the afternoon. He was so suprised that the glass he was holding fell on the ground. The red-haired was writing her speech for Vivi's funeral. But she never could say it. She couldn't even finish it.
'Oi ero-cook, what are you doing in Nami's room' Zoro had said. He was at the door, probably lost. But as the blonde hadn't answered, hadn't shout at him, the swordsman had understood. Without a word, he had put his hand on the blonde's shoulder. Without a word, he had watched the blonde fight against the tears that were threatening to fall. Neither of them had cried before. They had to be strong, they thought. Just like they hadn't cried for Merry. Without a word, the both of them had gone to tell what had happened to their two friends. And they had kept their tears, they had kept on being two strong rocks, there to help Usopp and Luffy as they had burst into tears. Four last friends who shared the same pain.
But then, it has been Zoro. Luffy had lost his first crewmate, his right-hand man, his best friend since what it seemed to be forever. They had started this journey together, only the two of us on a small boat. They had been side by side since forever. And Zoro had always been so strong. How could he die? Luffy often thought he would never die, that even death would be afraid when she'd see the great Roronoa Zoro, the greatest swordman in the world. He had faced death so many times. But it seemed like he lost, this time. He had fulfilled his promise to Luffy during all these years, he had never lost another battle, but he had lost this one. Because no one could win against death.
He is the one who had found him. He had tried to wake him up so he could come and eat. He had shaken him, he had screamed 'Zoro'. He had shouted his name until Sanji and Usopp came into the room to see what was going on. And when Usopp had taken him in his arms, he couldn't even cry. He couldn't think, imagine for one second that it was real. How could it be real? Zoro couldn't die. He was just asleep, just as always, because it was Zoro, he was always sleeping.
He cried the whole night after they buried him. He was so angry, he destroyed his whole room. He was unstoppable. He didn't hear what Usopp was shouting, he didn't feel Sanji holding him for him to stop. What was the point? What if he hurt himself? He woudn't die anyway and the pain would never go away. This pain he knew too well. The pain he had to go through when he had lost his brother all those years ago. And if he had been able to survive it, it was thanks to his crew. Thanks to Chopper, Brook, Robin, Franky, Nami, Zoro, Sanji, Usopp. All of them. But now? Now, he had already lost seven of them. Sabo was dead, too. Shanks was dead. Dadan, Makino, Garp, Jinbei, they were all dead since so long. He could still hear Jinbei shouting 'What is gone, is gone. But ask yourself this: what do you still have?' 'Nothing' he wanted to shout. 'I'll soon have nothing left. No one!'. He wanted to shout his anger and his sadness. He wanted the whole world to hear how painful it was. He wanted to be able to die, too. To die and join his friends, wherever they might be. But he couldn't. Maybe there was a way to give up immortality. He wished there was. If there was a way, he was going to find it out.
When the sun came up, Luffy was quiet. He stopped moving and he let Sanji and Usopp leading him to bed so he could rest. Usopp went to take some rest, too. Luffy tried to sleep until Sanji brought him something to eat. But for the first time, he wasn't hungry. They both stayed silent for a while. The Monster Trio was gone. The strongest swordman in the world, the right-hand man of the Straw Hat Crew, had died. And here, sitting next to Luffy, even the strong cook cried. For the first time. He cried because he had just seen his captain destroying a whole room, and he decided that there was no point in being strong anymore, because he'd probably next anyway, he could feel it, he knew he was becoming weakier as he was coughing more and more and honestly, he was so surprised he hadn't died before after all these years smoking. He cried because they had lost the right-hand man, because Luffy had lost his best friend and he had lost his rival. All those years of bickering, insulting, fighting. And it was all gone. Memories were all that was left. They stayed together in silent until the blonde finally whispered 'I hope the Marimo will find his way until the others. I hope he won't get lost'.
But only a week or so afterwards, it had been Sanji. And it wasn't much of a surprise after all. Because the three of them had noticed how much he had been coughing lately. He had tried to hide it, of course he had, but both Luffy and Usopp had noticed anyway. They had noticed but no one had said a thing. What could be said? Nothing. The blonde was going to die, like everyone else, like the others did before him. And so he did. It was such a normal day. The three of them, in the kitchen. He had cooked, like always, and the food had been awesome, like it had always been. They were eating around the table when the blonde coughed. He was running out of air. He coughed and coughed and coughed, until he didn't anymore, until he fell on the floor and stopped breathing. He couldn't even finished his plate. Him, of all people, who always took care that everyone would finish their plates so no food would be waste, couldn't even finish his own.
Luffy couldn't help some tears running down. Usopp took him in his arms, without a word, and they stayed in front of the brand new grave in front of them. Black-Leg Sanji, it said. 'The world has just lost his best cook' Luffy thought. Even during his last days, he had cooked for him and Usopp.
Usopp. He was the last one. His last nakama, the last one still alive – but hey, who knew for how long? As he realized he'd been left alone – alone – when his friend would die Luffy asked
'What will I do when I'll be alone?'
'Meet new people' Usopp whispered. 'Make new friends. Tell them about the world, about us. How you left your little town and became the biggest pirate the world know. How you met us, how we followed you. How you saved Alabasta, Dressrosa, the Fishmen Island, Wano. How you burned the flag in Enies Lobby, how you hit that stupid Tenryubito. How Kuma separated us, how you jumped into the war. How we met again after two years training, how you defeated the Yonko, how you found the One Piece. How we all realize our dreams. Tell them about the Mugiwaras, the strongest and most stupid crew that ever existed. Tell them, so they'll never forget you. Us.
They will remember us, and you will remember us, and we'll never really die, will we?'
«When do you think people die? […] It's when they're forgotten.»