Welcome to my story. It's been a long time since I've delved into the world of fanfiction. I'm really just doing this for an experiment, and to try my hand at some romance writing. Of course, I'm excited to see how it goes. Anyway, let the games begin. Definite Remus/Sirius, so if that's not your thing, enjoy one of the thousand other pairings on this lovely site.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Really, a Slytherin. He couldn't keep it in his pants for five fucking minutes. Remus crept up the stairs to the boys common room, hoping against all hope that the Marauders were all asleep. What a shock I'd give them, Remus thought, It's different catching Sirius sneaking into bed late at night, but the model student? He patted his hair, even though he knew he'd put it all in order before leaving the empty classroom. And spelled away the hickies, though he could still feel the smallest twinge of pain on his neck and shoulders. That Slytherin bloke had been a biter.

How the people would riot. Remus slowly opened the door to the dorms, but the steady sound of snores comforted him. They wouldn't know. He made it to his bed, pulling the sheets over him and settling with just kicking off his clothes under the sheets, too tired to do anything else. What was the Slytherin's name? Carlile? Carson? Merlin, he was getting worse.

Sometimes Remus was horrified with how much he was sleeping around, or with how much he craved it regularly. Sure, everyone expected Sirius to be a slut, but Remus? Never in a million years, not with his constant book reading, his strict policy on homework.

Remus tried to clear his mind, tried to focus on sleep. He listened to his friends, snoring around him. James was the loudest, his snore consistent, like a cat purr. Sirius snored sometimes, but would usually let up later in the night. Peter barely made a sound. He guessed it fit their personality. James, ever consistent. Sirius the being of action, then startling silence. And Peter, the forgotten. Merlin's beard, Remus had been reading too much C. S. Lewis. That sounded like dialogue from a book. He shut his eyes and tried not to feel the way his body ached.

He was up before everyone else, having barely skimmed the surface of sleep all night. He was dressed, bags packed, and munching on a biscuit when Sirius rolled out of bed, looking like he'd never seen a shower.

"Why'd you get up so early all the time?" Sirius said, his words jumbled.

"I don't know what you mean." Remus said.

Sirius shrugged, and grabbed his robes, not caring that he bunched them up. He disappeared into the showers, and when he came out, the rest of the dorms had started to stir. Oliver, the only non-marauder in the dorms, had grabbed his stuff and bolted.

"You know," James said as Oliver practically ran from the room. "I don't think he brushes his teeth in the morning."

"Why do you care?" Peter asked.

"Jolly good question." James said, falling into one of his many accents. "His bed is next to mine, good friend, and I can smell his breath through the curtains."

The marauders wandered down to the great hall, moving slowly. Only a month back into the swing of school, and already Remus felt tired. Something about this didn't feel right. They settled into their seats at the great all, James and Lily next to each other, Sirius and the next random girl, Peter casting wishful glances at everyone, and Remus with a book propped open against the orange juice. Everything as it was supposed to be. Remus hated it. Hated it all. He snapped his book closed.

"What's the matter, Moony?" Sirius teased. "Not enough passionate sex in that book?"

"No, hardly. It's just so unrealistic." Remus shot back, but the mood shifted at how harsh the voice sounded.

"Wow, everything alright?" Lily said. She'd just finished her new schedule, color coded course calendars, big bubble letters. She had the whole thing laid out on the table, and Remus knew it was just the thing he was supposed to like. Supposed to think was genius. They should have been fawning over it together, and Remus knew his disinterest in it last week had hurt her. He just couldn't get himself to care.

"Rough night." Remus choked out. Merlin, he was so tired of this. "I think I'm just getting tired of this routine, you know?"

"Moony, tired of routine." Sirius said. D"Didn't think I'd see the day. Next you'll be skipping classes."

"You know what?" Remus said, packing his book away. "That's a great idea." As he stood he grabbed an apple. "See you later."

He left the table, and there was a series of whispers behind him. He caught a few of them, blaming it on his heightened hearing. The full moon had been two nights ago, so his hearing was still strong.

"Has he gone mental?"

"Maybe it's just that time?"

"What has that got to do with it?"

The last one was Lily, and by now he'd gotten too far away to hear their reply. Probably something completely inane, about how she'd know when she was older. Really, he wasn't sure it mattered. James would never ask Remus to tell her, but Remus wasn't stupid. The constant secrets were getting on her nerves, and even though they had only started dating last year, they seemed to trust each other way too much. At least, Remus thought it was too much. Too much for him at least.

While the rest of the students headed to class, Remus climbed the astronomy tower. Classes were only held here at night, so he didn't have to worry about walking into a first year class. And being a prefect sure had it's advantages. No one stopped him, or really gave him a second look as he went the wrong way, and soon he was at the top, stepping out into an open deck. The sun beat down heavy up here, but it was quiet. He could hear birds, wind. The occasional call from an open classroom.

It was still warm, but he knew soon the fall weather would be turning. Maybe that's why he couldn't bring himself to go to class. Instead, he conjured up a fluffy blanket, spread it out on the stone floor, and stretched out, laying in the sun. He rolled his sleeves up, and thought about rolling up his pants, but maybe that was a bit too much. All the same, he soaked in the rays and felt like he might just be able to sleep when a voice called out.

"What are you doing up here, Moony?"

Sirius.

"Trying to sleep, but there's an obnoxious dog barking and won't let me rest."

Sirius laughed.

"Come on, you know you wanted my company."

Remus refused to open his eyes, but he could feel Sirius stretching out near him.

"So, let me know, what's going on?"

"You wouldn't believe me." Remus said. How in the world would he? Sure, Sirius probably fucked double the people Remus did, but he couldn't help it. Sirius was handsome, and rugged, and so obviously a bad boy it wasn't even funny.

"Try me." Sirius said. It was that same voice, that challenge, that made Remus trust him for the first time. Made Remus go along with his harebrained plan to let the Animagi join him on full moon nights.

"Tell me this, Sirius. How many girls have you slept with?"

"Why the sudden interest?"

"It's important to my problem."

"Come to the guru for love advice?"

Now it was Remus's turn to laugh.

"Sure. Love advice. Let's go with that."

"Always so guarded."

They fell into silence again, and for a moment Remus thought he wouldn't answer.

"None." Sirius said.

"What?"

"You heard me. I'm a virgin."

Remus sat up, half expecting Sirius to be smiling that shit eating grin, but he was looking up at the sky, watching the clouds roll by. His face was unreadable.

"I don't think it's that weird." Sirius said.

His face may have been unreadable, but his voice gave him away. He was nervous, and a little bit defensive.

"We're only sixteen. Most of the guys here haven't got to second base."

"I guess I just assumed you had." Remus said. "There's probably a hundred girls who would love to get in bed with you."

"Yeah, well." Sirius said.

"Why haven't you?"

"I thought we were talking about you." Sirius had shut his eyes now. To most people he'd look perfectly content. His legs crossed at the ankle, fingers laced on his stomach, wild hair splayed out behind him. But there was a tightening to his lips, and his thumb beat a hurried rhythm on his stomach.

"Well the conversation shifted. Naturally, I might add." Remus propped his head up on one hand, his focus completely on Sirius. This was new. This was so outrageously new that Remus couldn't have asked for a better change.

"It just never felt right. I had opportunities but they always expected me to make the first move, and then suddenly they expected me to be good at it, because of course I was, I'd slept with so many different girls, so eventually girls started coming to me because of that and hell, that's really intimidating."

Now Sirius's feet were moving with the beat, tapping to a song that must have been in his head. How Sirius could never sit still always amazed Remus. At first annoyed, then fascinated him. It was one of those things that you couldn't help but notice, like a ticking clock, or a tune stuck in your head.

"That's okay. It's not an easy thing to do." Remus thought about last night. About how little he had said to the guy before they'd both been panting. But it hadn't started like that, for him, either.

"So I can't give you any advice about sex, either."

"I'm good on that." Remus said.

"What, don't want some good old virgin advice?" The humor was back in his voice.

"I think I can muck up fucking, myself, thank you very much."

"Merlin, that always surprises me." Sirius cracked one eye open, and glanced at Remus. Remus supposed he should feel embarrassed, since he was still studying Sirius, but it never felt right, being embarrassed around him.

"I guess I've never gotten used to you cussing. You never do it around the others."

"You just bring out the bad boy in me." Remus said.

Sirius laughed again, and Remus found himself smiling too.

"A secret for a secret?" Sirius asked.

"Sure." Remus contemplated, for a moment. He didn't have many secrets, and besides, hiding it all the time was getting tiring. But still, he didn't want to rock his reality too hard.

"Did you hear me come in the dorm room late?"

"No, were you up late studying?" When Remus didn't reply, Sirius sat up, copying Remus's pose.

"I was out getting laid. In a classroom, to be exact."

Sirius's eyes got wide.

"If you were James I'd say you've been sleepwalking."

"If I was James, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Remus rolled onto his back, and listened. Wind rushed over the parapets of the tower. Was that a bell? So he was missing another class period. He knew he'd normally feel upset about this. Teachers had surely noticed his absence. But the sun felt so nice against his skin. He was contemplating rolling up his pants again when Sirius broke the silence.

"Who are you dating, then? Can't be someone we know, i would have realized that."

"I'm not dating anyone." Remus half mumbled it, a tiredness sinking into his bones. A full moon coupled with almost no sleep was really getting to him.

"Wait. No no. I didn't hear that right. Our Remus Lupin, Mr. UpTight Himself, got down and dirty with a girl he wasn't even dating."

"Yes. And here lies the problem."

"What's that?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know if I can love?" As soon as he'd said it Remus wished he hadn't. Sirius laughed, but it faded quickly when Remus didn't laugh along.

"I know it's stupid it's just I've been with several people and I've never felt anything so I-"

"No it's not stupid it's just, we're only sixteen. There's so much time for figuring that shit out later."

"Well, haven't you had a crush or two?"

"Yeah."

"And James clearly has."

Remus could almost feel the eye roll.

"Obviously.

"But I haven't. Not one. And I've gone about this clinically. I've tested with people I find attractive, people I don't. People I find repulsive."

"Hold on." Sirius shifted next to him, and the sun was off his face. Remus opened his eyes to find that Sirius was blocking his sunlight.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear what you said about how many… you mean you looked at this gorgeous concept called love and said, let me treat this like homework?"

"Maybe? You're blocking my sun."

"Not important!" Sirius was talking with his hands now. A sure sign to show how riled up he was getting. "You seriously thought love could be tested with clinical trials?"

"Yes, and so far it's proving that-"

"No I'm not done. Have you been on a date? Have you read about love? Have you gone stargazing with beautiful people?"

"What does that have to do with-"

"Shush!" Sirius had that look in his eyes, the one that said he has a great prank planned. "You need a love expert! And I need a sexpert. This is perfect."

Remus felt a chill wash over him.

"Here, I'll teach you about love, and you teach me about sex, and we'll both come out better people for it!"

"Absolutely not."

But Sirius had that look in his eye, that one that said he was going to win the argument. And Remus almost wanted him to. Figuring this out on his own definitely hadn't worked. Maybe this would be survivable.

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