"Oh, Callie. I am bad. A bad, bad Addie..."
Set during Before and After
"You know, I know I don't know a whole lot about god but I think god's cool with the whole in love with girls thing" says Addie.
"I know, wait who said anything about love?" Asks Callie wondering who she's talking about.
"So I thought you and Erica-" Addie trails off.
"She left me" Says Callie.
"Sorry" Says Addie. "Ah. Hence hot perky peds surgeon huh" Says Addie.
"You were right all along about the me and Erica thing. And the vagina monologues thing. You did you know anyway you saw us for ten minutes ``says Callie.
"Are you kidding your chemistry was off the charts. She was drooling watching you dance after she touched your lips and you downed six shots. She called you beautiful you know" Says Addie.
"Well now she's moved away so that's over, at least for now" Says Callie.
"Mmm I know what you mean about over. It's been so long since I've gotten some. Hey do you think Mark would be up for…" Says Addie.
"He's not available," Says Callie. "But it's a secret so I can't tell you why but no, he won't do you" Says Callie.
"He was the best I ever had you know" Says Addie. "He has what he calls the Sloan Method. God" says Addie.
"I know. I was on my knees begging him to teach me" Says Callie.
"He taught you?" Says Addie.
"Yeah, he did" Says Callie. "I blew Erica's mind to the point of euphoric revelation of her inner gay. Then she cried and I cried and slept with Mark and she forgave me but we broke up and she left" Says Callie.
"Rough go" Says Addie.
"I know" Says Callie.
"Look I know you have a thing with Peds surgeon but it was only a kiss right? She wouldn't mind if I asked…" Says Addie
"Asked what?" Says Callie.
"Callie, my brother is dying. I need to feel something. And I would ask Mark but I can't and you're his protege. You have his skills. And you're my friend. And you know I wouldn't ask if it wasn't like this" Says Addison.
"Do you think of girls that way?" Says Callie.
"You need to work on some gaydar skills Callie. I had an affair with Izzie Stevens for months in the trailer" Says Addie.
"Izzie Stevens is not my favourite topic. I was asking to be polite not because I didn't know [about you liking girls]. I just didn't want to know THAT. Again, because of the Izzie thing." Says Callie.
"Right. Sorry about that. Your Izzie thing. Or George's Izzie thing, not my Izzie thing. At least it leads you to lesbianism" Says Addie.
"It did. And alright Addie. Arizona will understand. Just this once" Says Callie.
"Yeah Arizona is pretty understanding about just this once" says Addison
"What?" says Callie.
"So you've finally gotten over your gay panic?" Asks Addison, changing the subject abruptly..
"Yeah how DID you know I liked -" Callie takes the bait and gets interrupted by Addison before Callie can ask any more questions about her past.
"You stared at my ass for the first few seconds of interacting with me every single time and also, when you realized we had both slept with Sloan you looked at me like you were jealous of Mark getting to sleep with ME and not the other way round" Says Addison.
"You suck Addison says Callie
"Hopefully I suck your sexy parts" says Addison
"Oh Addie" Says Callie. "That was crude," she says.
"Would it be crude to ask if I can also sleep with Arizona? She looks like a good lay" Says Addison.
"Umm" Callie doesn't know what to say to that.
"She wears roller skates for shoes," Says Addison.
"Right. Robbins. Wears skates for shoes. Which appeals to both you and me somehow. Well I guess since Archer is dying it's the least I can do she might still say no" Says Callie.
"I wouldn't do that to you. Sleep with Arizona now. Not now, not when you clearly like her" Says Addison.
"What?" Says Callie
"You really like her, she really likes you. We're friends, she's not my friend. I've never really met her. It's just enough for me. That you would let me sleep with her if I wanted to. Just knowing that is enough" says Addison
"You are so evil!" Says Callie rolling her eyes.
"You know what they all call me here" Says Addie with a wink.
"Satan" Callie smirks.
"I prefer the ruler of all that is evil but you know" Addison snarks back.
"Seriously evil" Callie quirks an eyebrow at her. "But keep it up Addie because I like it when you're bad" she gushes into her ear.
"Oh I am, I am a bad bad Addie…" is the last coherent thought Addison thought of before Callie drags her by the wrist to get her in bed.