Albus Dumbledore was disrupted by a sharp knock at his door, which surprised him as it was well past midnight and he presumed nobody would disturb him so late. Never the less, there was somebody there.

"Enter," the Headmaster called, waiting for the door to swing open, but it didn't. When another knock rang out he decided to go and see who it was.

Opening his door, he saw that nobody was there. Instead, at his feet lay an object wrapped in a thick blanket. Pulling away the blanket, Dumbledore saw a note lying within, which surprised him as he believed that something fragile would lay within the wrappings.

Reaching down, he grabbed hold of the note and instantly felt the feeling of traveling without actually moving.

He had realized that the letter must have been a Portkey to have transported him but had no idea who had sent it to him or where he was. Before he had time to think further however, the silence was broken by several thuds on the ground.

Hermione Granger had been sat on her bed in the Head Girl dormitory when she heard a knock on the door. Knowing that only the Head Boy could access the common room, let alone her room, she went to the door.

"Malfoy, what do you-" she stopped when she saw that nobody was standing there. All she saw was a mysterious wrapped bundle, the contents of which appeared to be a letter.

She picked up the letter, only to find herself only moments later in a room she had never seen before.

Looking up, she saw Dumbledore before her, and the forms of her various friends and enemies alike appearing around her. Everyone had arrived within a few moments of each other, and they soon had a look at who exactly they were with.

Those that had been transported to the room were; Dumbledore, Hermione, Harry, Ron, Ginny, Malfoy, and Snape. Everyone began to look around the room, their eyes shifting wildly.

"Okay, where the bloody hell am I and who woke me up for this?" Ron asked, breaking the silence. Suddenly, a voice filtered in from the front of the room, directing their attention that way.

"Hello, people of Hogwarts! So I think I'm safe to assume that you would like to know where you are, who I am and why I've brought you here, yes?

Well firstly, my name, or my alias at least, is Luna. I will disclose no more than that as I do fear the wrath of the Slytherins in the room.

As to where you are, you are still on Hogwarts grounds, in a room where no time passes. The doors have been enchanted to stay unopenable until I have finished giving you my message. After that, you will have one minute to decide whether you wish to stay or leave before the doors are once again inaccessible.

Now, on to why I brought you here. The purpose is to show you three videos that I discovered a long time ago. When I worked out a way to show you, I just had to. The wall that you are all currently gawking at will become the screen, showing you the plays.

The plays are a parody based on some events that have happened to you, and some that are yet to play out. As foreknowledge of some of these events would be dangerous, your memories of this performance will be hidden until the last event has played out, approximately 3 years from now.

For those of you who don't know, a parody is a funny version of a serious set of events, so I would like to advise that you keep that in mind when watching this. Whilst it is a funny twist on things, it is also the writer's views on how some of the characters secretly feel. That's all I'll say for now.

If you want to speak at any time, feel free. The system is set to pause whenever it registers one of your voices, so say anything you feel necessary.

The choice is now up to you. You have one minute to decide whether or not you wish to see this performance. That minute starts now."

When Luna finished speaking, nobody else said anything for a moment, then Ginny spoke up.

"I'd like to see it," she said in a quiet voice. She felt intrigued by what the girl had said and thought it sounded like a lot of fun.

"Me too," said the Golden Trio almost at the same time, earning them incredulous looks from the Malfoy heir.

"Really? You want to sit in a room, in a situation orchestrated by some girl you've never met and watched some muggles make fun of your life?" Draco said with a sneer. "Well, I for one have no desire to sit here and bend to the whims of some child. I'm leaving. I'm surprised at you all. Rather Hufflepuff to put your faith in a total stranger is it not?"

The rest of the students had no response, so with that Draco started walking towards the door. However, no sooner had he turned around than the doors vanished.

"Okay, that's your minute. I'm honestly rather surprised that all of you stayed, especially you Snape. Didn't hear a single objection. Curiosity a bit much?"

Malfoy growled when he heard the girl's voice start up again. He had forgotten about the time limit, so now he had to stay and watch this blasted performance.

"Now, any snacks or drinks you want, just ask for them, they'll appear on the table in front of you. So, without further ado, please take a seat, and let 'A Very Potter Musical' begin!"

A logo reading 'Starkid' appeared on the screen with a lion jumping over it, followed by a notice about the fact that this was a fan-made performance, not connected with Rowling or WB studios.

"Who are J.K Rowling and the Warner Bros?" Ron asked curiously? All the half and purebloods were all wondering that.

"J.K is the writer of the Harry Potter books, she wrote down all of the events from your seven years at Hogwarts, and the Warner Bros studios produced the movies. That's how the muggle world found out about you guys, although they believe that you're a work of fiction," Luna said patiently, before becoming silent once more.

Draco was mad. "So, not only has the bloody parody got your name in it but you have your own book series? "

"What's a movie?" Lavender inquired.

"A movie is what we're about to be shown. Now can we be quiet, please? It hasn't even started yet!" Hermione answered. Everyone fell silent and the show started up again.

The lights brightened, revealing a boy with curly hair and glasses, sitting on top of a suitcase. He pushed his fringe back over-dramatically, revealing the lightning scar on his forehead.

"Is that supposed to be me? My hair is shorter than that!" Harry exclaimed.

HP: Underneath these stairs, I hear the sneers and feel the glares of my cousin, my uncle, and my aunt.

Harry's friends, and Dumbledore, turned to Harry in surprise. Even Malfoy looked mildly shocked. Luna noticed that before he hid it, shock had crossed Professor Snape's face.

"Under the stairs?" Hermione asked in shock.

Harry waved her off. "We'll talk about it later 'Mione."

"I should think so," Hermione said under her breath.

Can't believe how cruel they are, and it stings my lighting scar to know they'll never, ever give me what I want.

"Spoilt much Potter?" Malfoy said with a familiar sneer.

"Shut it Malfoy! He means love you nitwit." Hermione said in her friend's defense.

I know I don't deserve these stupid rules made by the Dursley's here on Privet Drive. Can't take these stupid muggles, but despite all of my struggles, I'm still alive!

"Ever the optimist, aren't we Mister Potter?" Snape droned, making everyone jump. He had been so quiet that most had forgotten he was even there.

I'm sick of summer and this waiting around, now its September so I'm skipping this town. It ain't no mystery, there's nothing here for me noooow. I gotta get back to Hogwarts! I gotta get back to school. I gotta get back to Hogwarts, where everyone thinks I'm cool.

Everyone, or all the Gryffindors at least, laughed at this, and Dumbledore smiled with the usual twinkle ever-present in his eye.

"I am glad to know that you think so highly of the school Mr. Potter." He said cheerily, earning him a smile from Harry in return.

Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts. To goblins and ghosts, and to magical feasts. It's all that I love and it's all that I need at Hogwarts, Hogwarts, I think I'm going back.

"We get it, dude, you love the school!" Ron said with a chuckle, earning him a friendly punch in the arm. Hermione smiled at their brother like banter.

I'll see my friends, gonna laugh 'til we cry. Take my Firebolt, gonna take to the sky. No way this year anyone's gonna die

"Way to jinx it, Harry," Lavender said to the boy across from her.

And it's gonna be totally awesome. I'll cast some spells with a flick of my wand, defeat the Dark Arts, year bring it on! And do it all with my best friend Ron 'coz together we're totally awesome!

"That totally awesome thing is gonna get old fast," Ginny grimaced.

RW: Yeah coz together we're totally awesome! Did somebody say Ron Weasley?

"Is that me?!" Ron yelled in shock. The man who had just arrived on stage was wearing a bright orange wig and had everyone except for Ron in hysterics, which included Malfoy. Even Snape had a slight grin on his face, though he tried his hardest to hide it. Lavender snuggled up to Ron, giggling. They had been dating since 5th year.

Ron suddenly had a thought. "You think I look funny? How do you think you'll all look?"

This sobered everyone up rather quickly.

RW: What's up Buddy?

HP: Hey man!

*hug*

Hermione smiled at this. They were so close, even after arguing during the Horcrux hunt.

RW: Sorry it took me so long to get here, I had to get… some… floo powder, but we gotta get going, come on get your trunk and let's go.

HP: Where are we going?

Ron: To Diagon Alley of course!

"You said that so weirdly!" Lavender said, yet smiling affectionately at her boyfriend. Hermione was happy for them, she had gotten over her jealously a long time ago and now wished the best for her friend.

HP: Cool!

RW: Come on!

RW & HP: Floo powder power, floo powder power, floo powder power, floo powder power.

"Was that meant to be you traveling by Floo?" Malfoy asked in surprise. The rest of the room had to agree with him there, it was a bit ridiculous. Professor Snape sneered, "obviously, muggles made this. they don't know about the floo system".

RW: It's been so long, but we're going back

HP: Don't go for work, don't go there for class

Ron and Harry glanced over at Snape, who had a glare fixed on them.

"Hey, it's not actually us!" Harry said indignantly, resulting in Snape returning his gaze to the screen.

RW: As long as we're together

HP: Gonna kick some ass

Both: And it's gonna be totally awesome! This year we'll take everybody by storm. Stay up all night, sneak out of our dorm.

Again, the two Gryffindors were caught by a death stare, this time from the witch sat beside them.

Just then, a girl with a mass of frizzy hair pushed through the middle of them.

HG: Let's not forget that we need to perform well in class if we want to pass our OWLs.

"Is that meant to be me?!" Hermione shrieked, startling those closest to her.

"Think the hair should be bigger," Draco said, more to his own amusement than anyone else's.

RW: Oh god Hermione why do you have to be such a buzzkill?

HG: Because guys, school's not all about fun and games! We have to study hard if we want to be good witches and wizards.

Ron looked slightly impressed. "At least your character seems accurate," he said, earning him a thump from his friend. Lavender looked vaguely indignant at this treatment of her boyfriend but said nothing.

I may be frumpy

"I'm not frumpy!" Hermione exclaimed in dismay, at the same time as Ginny yelled: "She's not frumpy!"

"Honestly, who do these muggles think they are?" Nobody said anything, though the laughter coming from Draco was obvious.

But I'm super smart. Check out my grades, they're A's for a start.

Draco snorted, "Only A's Granger? I expected more from the 'brightest witch of our age'"

"Oh put a sock in it Malfoy! I'll have you know that an A is the highest grade in muggle schools," Hermione stated with a small sense of satisfaction.

What I lack in looks, I make up in heart and well guys yeah that's totally awesome! This year I plan to study a lot.

"No change there then."

This remark came from Ron, earning him another well-aimed punch to the arm, right in the same place. Much more and that was gonna really start stinging.

RW: That would be cool if you were actually hot

"NOT ME!" the redhead yelled, swapping places with Lavender before Hermione could bash him again. Professor Snape smirked.

HP: Hey Ron, come on. We're the only friends that she's got

RW: And that's cool

HG: And that's totally awesome

Trio: Yeah it's so cool, yeah it's totally awesome!

"This is quickly becoming a tired phrase," Snape drawled, once again making everybody jump. The man was very skilled at disappearing into the shadows, causing everyone to forget he was there.

We're sick of summer and this waiting around. It's like we're sitting in the lost and found.

"What's the lost and found?" Ginny asked.

"The lost and found is a kind of collection point," Hermione answered. "If you lose something, you can look for it in the lost and found. Likewise if you find something, you can take it there for safekeeping until the owner claims it."

This satisfied everyone, even Malfoy looked as if he was paying attention.

Don't take no sorcery, for anyone to see how.

We gotta get back to Hogwarts. We gotta get back to school. We gotta get back to Hogwarts, where everything is magi-coooooool.

This brought raucous laughter from everyone except professor Snape. He just scowled.

Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts, to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts. It's all that I love and it's all that I need at Hogwarts, Hogwarts, I think we're going back.

"So, next scene?" Luna asked.

Everyone looked ready to agree, but Hermione spoke up.

"Guys, don't you think we should get some rest? We were brought here in the middle of the night."

This was met with a general murmur of agreement.

"Umm, Luna?" Hermione spoke again. "What exactly are sleeping arrangements?"

"Oh right, sorry. One sec…." The sound of keyboard keys clicking could be heard, and a door behind them opened into a corridor. "Now, if you go down there, you will see your names on your individual rooms. Don't worry about the locked rooms, they will be explained in due time. Sleep tight, guys!"