"Mick-"

"I need air," Mickey said, cutting him off. And before Ian had a chance to react, Mickey was already halfway towards the exit.

Ian looked behind him. His date and Byron were jumping up and down in the middle of the crowded venue. They wouldn't miss them. They probably wouldn't even notice they were gone.

Ian took a deep breath and let it out as he walked to the exit. He wondered how he let his and Mickey's relationship go to shit so fast. Things were finally solid between them. Of course, it couldn't last. Maybe he had finally fucked it up for good.

At first, bringing another date here sounded like fun. Beat Mickey at his own game. But instead of Mickey taking the hint and fighting back, he just looked sad. Sad and defeated. Maybe he thought Ian was bluffing when he said he was bringing a plus one. Maybe Ian should've been.

The cool Chicago air hit Ian's face and he was about to close his eyes for a moment of respite when he saw to his complete and utter surprise, Mickey seated on the curb in front of him, cigarette in hand. Maybe there was still time to fix this.

Tentatively Ian walked towards him. His eyes felt like watering but he shook his head trying to maintain his composure. Mickey looked up, meeting his gaze.

"I thought you left," Ian said.

Mickey took another drag and tapped the ash out, letting it fall on the concrete next to him. He looked significantly calmer than he had inside. "That's your move, Gallagher."

"What?"

Mickey looked to the side. "You always leave."

Ian felt his jaw tighten. Was he serious right now? "I believe you left me, Mickey." He pointed to the door. "Into the arms of Byron the love of your-"

"Fucking enough, Ian!" Mickey tossed the cig behind him and stood up. "You left first! The army, remember?"

"W-what?" That caught Ian off guard. He racked his brain for what to say. "You got married!"

"And then we got back together and you fucking left again!"

Ian took a step back but Mickey took one forward and started pointing at his chest.

"I was there in the hospital with you," Mickey looked away like it was too much all of a sudden. "I was ready to take care of you and then you fucking run off with Monica." He paused and Ian fell silent. He started breathing heavy. That was so fucking long ago why was Mickey bringing all of this up now? "I called and called and each and every time you fucking ignored it." Ian just stood there looking at him. There was so much pain in Mickey's eyes. Was this pain he put there? "Then you finally fucking come back and I run to you and for what? For you to fucking end it!"

Ian's throat felt dry and his eyes were definitely watering now. But he kept his gaze on Mickey, Mickey who was fumbling in his jacket pocket for another cigarette. Mickey who looked like he was about two seconds away from breaking down, which was exactly how Ian felt. He hadn't realized Mickey was holding all this in. Mickey was always living and forgetting. He was someone who walked around with this armor like he was naturally bulletproof. Like nothing in the whole fucking world bothered him. You're not supposed to be able to hurt someone like that. So how could Ian have? He didn't think that was something he was even capable of. But maybe that was the problem… that Ian didn't think at all when it came to Mickey. Everything always happened so fast.

"I go to jail and you don't visit." Mickey continued. Ian put his head down. He knew that bothered him. Mickey had told him that already. "But then I break out and invite you to Mexico where we can finally have a fresh fucking start and you say you're gonna come and then guess what?" Mickey threw his hands in the air. "Guess who doesn't get in the fucking car!" Mickey's voice cracked and Ian felt the first tear break through and fall down his face. He quickly wiped it away.

Mickey was pacing back and forth now. Ian could feel his heart beating inside of his chest and it just felt… heavy. There was no worse feeling on earth than hurting someone you love. Someone you shouldn't have been able to hurt but apparently could so easily.

"Then we meet again in jail." The newly lit cigarette hung in his mouth like it was ready to fall out and this was what Ian chose to focus on because he knew if he looked into Mickey's eyes one more time he would lose it. "Things are finally good I think. You say you love me. We get out and then… then you fucking propose and for the first time I-" he paused and Ian waited but Mickey just shook his head.

"Say it." The words came out so soft they were barely a whisper but Ian felt too fucking emotional to care. Mickey sighed out into the open air.

"For the first time," Mickey said, pulling himself together. "I thought you were going to choose me, Gallagher." He threw away the cigarette just like the last one. "This whole fucking time, I've been choosing you and you have the audacity to ask me if I love you,"

Mickey paused again and Ian let himself look into his eyes and it wasn't just pain he saw but betrayal. Ian had done more than hurt Mickey, he had broken his trust. Ian wanted to look away but he couldn't. He felt so fucking sorry. He had been through so much pain in his own life but he wasn't sure if any of it could quite add up to this moment right here- facing the weight of the decisions of his own heart.

"You ask if I'm sure If I want to spend the rest of my life with you because you're bipolar. I mean, what the fuck, Ian?" Mickey's stare bore through him. He was giving this everything he had. "We fought in the courthouse and I still signed the goddamn paper but you-" his voice fell quiet. "All this time I chose you, Ian… and… I don't think you've ever chosen me." Mickey ran a hand through his hair. His eyes were red and watery just like Ian's. "You always seem like you will, but then when it counts… you don't. You don't come home or cross the border, or sign the fucking paper."

"Mickey, I…" Ian's voice was so hoarse but he tried to push through. He had to say something but he didn't know what he was supposed to say. How do you tell someone you're scared when they don't believe you have a right to be? How do you say sorry when you've fucked up more than you thought you could? He was starting to see that some words just weren't good enough. Mickey was standing maybe three feet away from him but he felt like they were thousands of miles apart. Ian always struggled with the love he felt in his heart because he never really understood the brunt of it. Love was… what exactly? Looking out for each other? Taking care of one another? His mind thought of Fiona making French toast. He thought of Lip always giving him advice. He thought of Mandy and the choices he made that led him to get tangled up with Mickey in the first place. He thought of Liam helping him with rings. He thought of Freddie. Seeing his nephew's face on FaceTime. He thought of trying to be better and pulling his life into a direction of helping others. He thought of Trevor which made him think back to Mickey. Mickey had once offered him a fresh start but it was one Ian wasn't ready for. Wiping the slate clean isn't comforting when all you know about yourself is tied to the past. But- Ian was no longer the same guy he was when he met Mickey and Mickey certainly wasn't either. Mickey had changed. Arguably more than Ian had. Mickey had come out to his whole family. He had always been a kind of anchor for Ian, reminding him of where he came from. Accepting the person he had turned into.

Love is action. That's what Mickey wanted. Ian had said the words but Mickey was right. Ian never followed through on anything he had said. But- he did follow through on one thing. No matter what happened between them, he and Mickey always found their way together. And that was because Ian had followed through on his own happiness and that always took him into the arms of the angry son of a bitch in front of him. If he wasn't sure of it before, Ian was now. He loved Mickey Milkovich. He loved him so fucking much that he felt it in his very core. And he wasn't going to let him go.

Ian took a quick breath and then walked the remaining distance to Mickey. Instinctively, Mickey crossed his arms over his chest but he didn't back away. Ian reached down his shirt and pulled out the necklace he was wearing. It had both of the rings he picked out with Liam.

"Jesus," Mickey breathed out.

Ian looked at the rings in his hand. "You deserve explanations, but I think we both know that I'm pretty shit at giving them." His fingers moved along the bands. "I love you, Mickey, and that's fucking scary for me. Being with you…" he paused to breathe. "Being with you is like standing at the top of a cliff and-"

"And you're what?" Mickey uncrossed his arms, "afraid of heights?"

"Yeah," Ian smiled. "I'm not afraid of being with you, Mickey, I know that's what it seems like. But I think what I'm really afraid of is…" he paused and reminded himself that he could do this. "I'm afraid of having something I can lose. You're valuable to me, Mick. And if that wasn't made clear then I'm sorry."

Ian took off the necklace, letting both rings fall into his hand.

"You say I've never chosen you, Mick, but that's because you and me was never a choice. It was an inevitability. One way or another, no matter what shit happened or got between us, I always knew we'd find our way together."

Mickey breathed out. He was looking at the rings but his expression remained unreadable. So Ian continued.

"I'm sorry about Mexico. I wasn't ready to leave it all behind. I'm sorry about the courthouse. That was fucked up, I know," he took a step closer, Mickey's eyes meeting his. "I just… didn't want to make the biggest decision of my life on a whim. It deserved more thought than I was giving it. You deserved an actual proposal, not one out of convenience. And visiting you in jail… my god, Mick. Seeing the person you love and knowing you can't reach out and touch them? It's fucking torture. At least at home, I could pretend you were with me rather than open my eyes and see you weren't going to be." Ian breathed out, his nerves threatening to catch up with him. "I know if I ask you now you might say no, but… I need you to know that I will always choose you, Mick. You and me belong together."

Mickey exhaled what sounded like a breath of relief. And then he smiled and Ian felt like he could finally breathe again. Like the weight had finally been lifted.

"Go on, then," Mickey said.

Ian grabbed Mickey's hand and steadily lowered himself to the ground, bending one knee on the dirty concrete lot. Mickey looked on in a kind of amazement that made Ian's heart skip. It was kind of amazing, Ian thought. And then his lips said the words. "Will you marry me, Mickey?"

Mickey laughed and wiped his eyes. "I should say no and run down the block and make you catch me."

Ian rolled his eyes, fighting the smile tugging at his lips. "You know, there are more things I can do in this position."

"Yes, Ian," Mickey said, voice excited. "Fucking yes."

Ian moved to get up but Mickey put his hand on his chest. "I meant yes to the blowjob, not the proposal."

"Oh fuck you!" Ian said as Mickey pulled him up and pressed their bodies together. He pulled him into a searing kiss, laughing into his mouth.

Ian cupped Mickey's face and kissed him with everything he had. Mickey opened his mouth letting their tongues wrestle and the heat between them intensify. Mickey's hands were on Ian's shirt and Ian maneuvered them backward until they slammed against the side of the building.

Mickey pulled back out of breath and Ian looked down to find that somehow each one of them was wearing a ring on their finger. When he looked up he found that Mickey was smiling bigger than he ever saw him before.

"I do, Gallagher," Mickey said.

Fucking finally.