"And if we hit on troubled water
I'll be the one to keep you warm and safe
And we'll be carrying each other
Until we say goodbye on our dying day
Because I've got you brother."
-From "Brother by Kodaline"
Jim has known it was coming. He has tried not to think about it but when he steps into the room and catches Toby's scent he knows.
"Are you just standing there or are you…"
The old man lying on the bed trails off when he looks up and sees his expression.
"Oh…" Toby's single green eye traces his face and his lips press together for a moment before his expression softens. He waves Jim over and scoots to the side to allow the half troll to settle down beside him.
For a moment they sit in silence. Jim enjoys his friend's warmth and proximity. He ignores the shaking in his hands and the way his throat is tightening.
"Is it today?" Toby finally asks.
Jim nods weakly.
"Y-yeah. I…" His shoulders shake.
"Hey. Hey…" Toby's arms wrap slowly around his shoulders and draw him in. Jim reciprocates pulling his friend close and holding him as tightly as he dares. A low whine seeps out of his throat as he grits his teeth together. He buries his face in his friends white hair and determinedly breaths in his scent.
"I've had a good run," Toby says finally. "Promise me something?"
Jim lets out a huff of air but otherwise doesn't respond.
"Make sure you bury me with that hook Claire gave me instead of this this thing." Toby pokes him and Jim pulls away enough to see his Akiridian prosthetic. He glances between it and Toby's eye patch before snorting.
"What do you want to look like a pirate for your funeral?"
Toby smirks, lip pulling up sharply to expose his teeth on one side.
"Duh, what was the point of losing that hand and an eye if I don't get to look like a legend?"
"Would you like me to have you dressed up in a nice red doublet with a nice swashbuckling sword and the works?"
"Oh my God, yessss," Toby breathes looking positively ecstatic. "You could totally do the burning boat too."
"I think that's a Viking funeral not a pirate funeral," Jim points out.
"I knew that," Toby says with a straight face.
They stare at each other until they both end up laughing.
It feels like old times for a moment and for Toby's sake Jim tries to keep it light. He's not the one who is dying, after all.
His laughter catches in his throat, heavy and solid. Despite his best efforts Jim feels tears well up in his eyes.
He's not ready for this.
"Hey, hey," Toby says and weakly pulls him closer.
He rests his chin between Jim's horns and strokes his back as the half troll finally breaks down crying. It's strange: despite the fact that Jim was actually born a few months before him, Toby is the older of the two now. It wasn't just Jim's physical aging the transformation slowed down.
"I'm not ready for you to… to…" Jim whispers between sobs.
Toby hums and keeps rubbing his back.
"For real though Jim," He finally murmurs. "Promise me…"
He pauses and waits until Jim looks up.
"Promise me that when… I'm gone…" He coughs. "Promise me that you won't isolate yourself... That you won't end up like Kanjigar."
"Toby…"
"Promise me," Toby says firmly. His green eye holds Jim's gaze with the force of a warrior.
"I promise." Jim forces the words past the lump in his throat.
"Good," Toby murmurs. There's relief and sadness in his face.
A long moment passes as they sit together in silence. Toby's breathing is irregular, forced, as it has been for the past few weeks. Jim feels like he's trying to hold water in his hands and watching it slip between his fingers.
"Remember when we found the amulet?" Toby asks suddenly.
"How could I forget?" Jim says weakly.
He lived through that day twice after all.
"You were talking about wanting something more," Toby says. He chuckles softly. "We certainly got that didn't we?"
"I need to be careful what I wish for," Jim grumbles without any heat.
"I still don't regret it."
"No?" Jim asks, tilting his head.
"No."
"Not even…" They'd seen so much death… felt so much pain… grown up far too quickly.
"Not even a little," Toby says firmly. "I'm sorry that I'm leaving you like this, but well… I'm glad we got to spend so much time together… to fight together… Few people get a friendship like ours."
He lets out a sigh and his breath falters. Jim's heart clenches and he has to force himself to not tighten his grip on Toby's hand.
For a moment they are both quiet, then Toby pulls his hand out from under Jim's. Before the half-troll can react he feels his friend's arms wrap around him.
"I love you Jim," Toby murmurs into the side of his neck.
Jim returns the embrace, probably a little tighter than he should.
"I love you too, Tobes…"
The moment seems to hang suspended and Jim desperately savors it. He wishes he had the Kairoscope so he could freeze time and stay here forever. Then it's over.
A slow breath enters Toby's lungs and comes out with a rattle. He goes limp in Jim's arms. Jim holds him tighter and makes a low mournful sound. It feels as if his very heart has been ripped from his chest.
Still…
"I'm glad we took that shortcut too," He murmurs into the silent air.