When the house had been described as a fixer-upper, the worst thing Mipha had expected to find when they were finally given the keys and stepped over the threshold into their new home were a few loose floorboards and perhaps a couple of shattered windows that the previous owners had cast a spell on to make them appear intact when they had been given a quick show of the house. After all, the house was located not terribly far away from Godric's Hollow since Zelda had expressed a wish to stay close the town, so Mipha had expected for there to only be a couple of a few things that would require for them to find their wands and cast mending charm after mending charm. What she had not expected was for her to open up the cupboard next to the sink, trying to judge whether or not it would be a good place to store their plates, only to see her brother lying in there, the glassy look in his eyes and the way his chest did not reveal any breaths telling her that he was dead.
Mipha could not remember letting out a scream, but she must have, for the next second, Zelda was there, standing next to her with her wand held high. There was no doubt in Mipha's mind that she already had at least twenty curses and defensive spells ready, waiting for her to point her wand at the threat.
"Mipha—" Zelda began, and that was all she managed to say, as the Boggart then appeared to sense her.
For a second, the image of Sidon lying in their cupboard flickered, almost like that time when Link had attempted to show her how a television worked, as the Boggart directed its attention towards Zelda, and Mipha could see how it shifted, the red of Sidon's hair almost looking like waves in the water after a pebble had been thrown into it, but before she got the chance to see any more, Zelda had slammed the cupboard door shut.
Turning around to look at her, Mipha was already halfway about to ask her what was wrong, why she had reacted like that. After all, it was nothing but a Boggart, and although it had managed take Mipha by surprise, now that she had had a second to take in the fact that it was not her brother and that Sidon was safe at Hogwarts, she would have been more than capable of casting a Riddikulus charm, and that, even if Mipha would for some reason have found herself unable to form the words, she knew that Zelda, despite how she had almost failed her Defence Against the Dark Arts O.W.L., would have been able to perform the charm in a heartbeat. And yet, Zelda had closed the door, no, she had slammed it, and now, she was standing next to Mipha, still having one hand planted on the door, leaning against it, placing her entire body weight on the door like she was the only thing that kept the Boggart in there, her eyes wide and scared.
"Zelda," Mipha tried, slowly reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder. When Zelda did not react to it, neither winching and trying to move it away from her nor placing her own hand on top of Mipha's like Mipha knew she would usually have done, she decided that it was the best she could hope for and continued, "are you all right?"
For a moment, Zelda blinked at her, looking almost like she did not properly register the question. But then she snapped back to the same reality as Mipha was currently in, nodding a couple of times, the movement appearing to be directed at herself much more than Mipha. "Yes, yes… I…I just saw a Boggart a couple of weeks ago and, uh, I—it had changed. It did not look like it usually did."
Mipha could vividly remember how they had been standing in the middle of the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom in the latter half of their third year, with the students facing their Boggarts one by one. Then, Zelda's Boggart had taken the form of her father, and it had been the first time where Mipha had fully understood the reason why Zelda always stayed in the library to study even after everyone else had left. Truth to be told, even though it had not been her own Boggart, Mipha had not been able to ignore the way her stomach tightened with fear as well as the man stepped into the circle they had formed with their desks to inform a Zelda, who had looked like she was on the verge of tears, that she had failed.
And now Zelda's Boggart had changed. Mipha assumed that, had it not been for how their last visit to Zelda's father had ended, she might have thought that perhaps it was a sign that he had grown softer over the years, that he might finally have reached out to her again, but with how Zelda had ended up standing next to her, looking like she at once both wanted to say something to her father while also struggling with the need to turn around and leave the house that very second, Mipha was sure that a new Boggart could only mean one thing: a new fear had somehow managed to scare Zelda even more than the picture of her father.
Still, Mipha tried her best not to look shaken as her mind raced to imagine just what could have replaced what had been Zelda's Boggart since the age of thirteen. "Oh," she said, keeping her voice light and cheery, "well, what is it then?"
But Zelda only looked down at the floor, and with the way she was staring at the floor tile, Mipha would almost have expected for it to be one of the many tiles that had been broken over the years. It wasn't, and even as she spoke, Zelda still did not quite meet her eyes. "It is… difficult to explain. Just… could you please let me deal with it alone? And maybe cover your ears a bit?" the last word sounded more like a plea than a request, and maybe that was what made any questions Mipha had already prepared about why she could not be present, what could possibly be so bad that Zelda did not want her to see it, die immediately, leaving her unable to do much else than to nod.
"Of course," Mipha answered, and with that, she turned around and left, hoping that the hurt had not made itself heard in her voice.
As she turned around the corner, into the living room, Mipha could hear how the hinges creaked as Zelda opened the cupboard once more, and she pressed her hands against her ears, trying her best to ignore the urge to remove them and try to listen to the reason why Zelda did not want her to be there. But with the knowledge that it could only be a matter of seconds before Zelda would follow her into the living room to let her know that she had taken care of the Boggart, Mipha managed to ignore the curiosity even though it felt like it was practically pulling at her arms, trying to physically force them away from her ears.
The seconds passed, and Zelda did still not appear. Although she tried her best to ignore the feeling of there being something wrong, Mipha would have lied if she tried to claim that she did not glance towards the door leading into the kitchen several times, trying to will Zelda to appear in the doorway to tell her that it was fine now and that she could come back into the kitchen to continue with trying get an idea of just how much they needed to take care of in the house.
When Mipha had managed to silently count to a hundred, the little nervous knot in her stomach had grown, now feeling like it should have taken up her entire body. She could not wait any longer.
Holding her wand up, ready for the worst, Mipha stepped forward, and placed her hand on the door handle. With a deep breath and a silent apology to Zelda, Mipha pressed down and away from herself, the door swinging open.
Zelda was not alone in the kitchen. That was the first thing Mipha saw as she entered the room. But where she had always known that Zelda's Boggart would take the form of her father, almost to the point where Mipha had come to know Zelda's Boggart as well as she knew her own, the new form of her Boggart was at once both unfamiliar and close to her.
Mipha found herself staring at an almost exact copy of herself. From the way the person in front of her had pulled her hair back into a plait, how she still wore a yellow tie to remind herself of Hogwarts, to how she stood, this was every bit like looking at her own reflection. The only thing that was different was the way the other person sneered, her face settled into a scowl as she looked at Zelda. And then her glance continued over towards Zelda, and Mipha could feel her stomach plummet to the ground.
Where the other Mipha was glaring down at her, Zelda was clutching her wand in front of her, and Mipha could hear how she tried her best to force out the words, only for her voice to fail her and leave the charm as only half of the sounds, the last part having been replaced with the sound of Zelda crying.
Her stomach turned as Mipha realised that this was the Boggart. This was the reason why Zelda had not wanted her to be there. For some reason, Mipha was what Zelda feared most of all. The realisation was enough to make Mipha stop dead in her tracks, and although the only thing she wanted to do was to run over and kneel down next to Zelda to apologise for the Boggart's new form, she could only stand there, looking straight into the eyes of her copy, eyes that looked strangely hard and cold, and wonder what had happened to give the Boggart any reason to take the form of her when faced with Zelda.
She got her answer moments later as the Boggart began to talk, but once she heard it, heard how her own voice echoed through the room, Mipha would almost have wished that she had stayed in the living room like Zelda had asked her to.
"I don't love you. I never have," the Boggart said, its voice colder than ice. Mipha had halfway expected, halfway hoped, that that would be what would make Zelda realise that this was never going to happen, how all of this was only the result of the previous owners having left the unpleasant surprise for them of there being a Boggart in their cupboard, for Zelda must know that this was not something Mipha would ever say. After all of those years they have spent together, she must know that, Mipha must have made it so that she knew.
And Zelda did also move, and though her movements were slow, almost like she was ready to crumble to the floor once more any second, she did stand up and fix the Boggart with a tearful glare. "You—you are not her… Mipha wouldn't—"
But she was not able to finish the sentence, and Mipha was not entirely sure if that was only due to how the Boggart interrupted her, forcing both of them to watch as Mipha tilted her head slightly, a smirk that Mipha hoped she would never have to feel herself form appearing on her face as she moved forwards, towards Zelda. "But I do. I already have thought that many times, I just thought that it would be best to pretend to love you when you came to me to tell me about your feelings for me. After all, although it is a miracle that I have not already grown tired of you and the way you are unable to do even the simplest things, you were my friend, and I knew that you would not be able to handle it if I told you to leave me alone, so I did what I had to do and lied."
Mipha's stomach twisted painfully as she listened to how the Boggart twisted the very first time Zelda had looked up from her Divination homework that particular afternoon. With how she had dragged Mipha along with her to the Astronomy Tower, as Mipha had sat there, looking up at Zelda as her best friend had jumped down from her stool to around the room, waving her hands in the air and pulling at strands of her hair before she finally blurted out the truth, it had seemed to her that Zelda had been bathed in the moonlight, the silvery light hitting her hair, almost creating the illusion that it was a source of light. And now the Boggart was using Zelda's own memories and fears against her.
It seemed that as Zelda's weak protests against the other Mipha's claims grew weaker, the Boggart grew stronger as well, and as Mipha watched, she saw how it slowly became more lifelike, the smile looking more and more like Mipha's own, the slight feeling of there being something unnatural about it disappearing from the Boggart as it took another step closer towards Zelda. That was what finally made Mipha realise that she was still just standing there in the doorway, doing nothing while Zelda cried on the floor in front of her and the Boggart moved closer to her.
The feeling of anger flowing through her as she stepped into the room, standing next to Zelda was unlike anything she could remember having ever experienced before, and as she stepped in front of Zelda, Mipha almost wanted to tell the Boggart that this was it, now it could turn its attention towards her and forget about Zelda and the horrible way it was able to mimic even Mipha's laugh, albeit in a version that was cold and humourless.
But before Mipha got the chance to step in front of Zelda, she noticed Zelda moving next to her.
Slowly, almost like the Boggart had pulled all of the energy out of her, Zelda stood up, and Mipha saw the moment Zelda became aware of the fact that she was there, her eyes growing wide as she stared at her. Mipha wanted to say something, but she found that she did not have the words. What could she say after having seen of one of Zelda's greatest fears were her saying… that to her? Mipha did not know, so she stayed silent even though everything in her was screaming for her to say something, anything that would make Zelda stop glancing back and forth between her and the Boggart almost like she did not known which one of them was the real Mipha and which one was the imitation.
Just as Mipha had thought that perhaps she did have something she could say that might be able to make the situation a little less horrible, Zelda turned away from her. Aiming her wand at the Boggart, Zelda's hand shaking wildly as she mumbled the charm, she took a step forward.
"Riddikulus!"
And just like that, the image of Mipha disappeared, instead twisting to look like Zelda's father, making him open his mouth like he was about to yell at her, only for him to go silent, clearly yelling, but with no sound leaving his mouth. Casting a glance at Mipha, Zelda laughed, but it was clear to both of them that it was not quite a laugh, or at least not much more than a method to defend herself, and the next moment, the Boggart had disappeared.
"Zelda…" Mipha began. She wasn't sure what she was about to say, or even if there was anything she could say, but she knew that she had to try. With how Zelda's shoulders were shaking as she looked at her, Mipha would not have been able to stay silent. But before she got the chance to say anything more, Zelda had shaken her head, moving so quickly that her hair whipped around her face, turned on her heel, and run straight past Mipha and out of the front door. Even though she slammed the door shut behind her, Mipha could still tell from the slight thump and the way Zelda was breathing quickly, sounding like it was a matter of seconds before she would begin to cry again, that she had only gone to sit on the bench right outside the house.
She was not sure exactly how long she stayed inside the house, staring at the dirty wall in front of her that they had been meant to paint that day without truly seeing it, but by the time Mipha finally had gathered the strength to turn around and walk over towards the door, following the path Zelda had taken when she had sprinted through the kitchen, she knew that she might already have waited for far too long. This was something she should have sat down to talk with her about the moment Zelda had yelled the incantation, but she hadn't. Instead, Mipha had let her leave, and she could only imagine what Zelda was thinking. That she would have to enter the kitchen to see herself stand there, leaning over Zelda, and say those things…. It was not something Mipha had ever thought she would have to prepare herself for. But even then, that was not an excuse, so although her heart was beating wildly in her chest, she forced herself to press down the door handle and step outside, ignoring the way the option of staying inside and trying to figure out what she could do about this seemed so much more tempting.
Luckily, she found that Zelda was still sitting on the bench left behind by the previous owners. She had not gotten up to run, to leave the house, but as Mipha sat down next to her and saw the way Zelda was fiddling with the hem of her sleeves, the inner part of the fabric having turned a slightly darker shade than the rest, something Mipha knew meant that she had used it to wipe away the tears, she was unsure about whether or not it truly was a good sign.
Nevertheless, Mipha did not allow herself to give up and let Zelda sit alone out here. She had done that once already and when she looked at where that had got them, Mipha knew that it had been wrong.
Placing her hand on top of Zelda's, Mipha leant forward ever so slightly and tried her best not to cry when she saw how Zelda avoided her gaze. It was bad enough that one of them was crying already, Mipha did not need to make the situation even worse.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she whispered.
Zelda stayed silent for so long that Mipha had almost assumed that she would simply have to interpret the lack of an answer as a no, almost moving to stand up again. But then she moved, just enough to shrug a little. "I don't really know what there is to talk about," Zelda said, "you saw the same thing as I did… I—I don't want you to think too much about it. It is nothing, just me being silly, please don't blame yourself for this."
"You aren't silly." Mipha squeezed her hand slightly. "You aren't, Zelda," she continued when Zelda huffed next to her, "you really aren't. I mean, what you saw, what it said, it isn't anything I would ever say to you, but it is what you saw. I just wish I had been there earlier, had been able to do something about it."
"Why?" and now, Zelda was finally looking up at her. But as Mipha looked into her eyes and saw the honest question reflected in them, she would almost have wished that she had been able not to look, especially as Zelda continued. "Why? It might not have been you, but I—sometimes I can't help but wonder if it won't be you one day who is saying those things. I know that you would not say it like that, but how can I know that you won't ever think something like it?"
Right then, Mipha would have given everything for Zelda to be able to see that that was not the case. But since neither of them had ever been able to properly use a Legilimency spell, she knew that she would not be able to use a spell to convince her. And, if Mipha was honest, she wasn't sure that she wanted to. A spell could be redirected, the user could be made to see the things that she wanted them to, and with all of the hours Zelda had spent in the library, Mipha was sure that she knew all of that. Even if she had been able to look inside her mind and see that there was no trace of the Boggart in there, Zelda might still go to sleep in the evening with the thought that it might have been there and that Mipha had simply done her best to hide it.
So, rather than suggesting using a spell, Mipha leant over towards Zelda, resting her head against her shoulder as she spoke. "I promise you that I haven't thought something like that. If I had, I would have told you."
"Would you?" Zelda asked, and hearing how she said it, not as an accusation, but rather as a question she did indeed want an answer to, made Mipha's chest tighten. "We both know that you have seen my Boggart multiple times before this. How do I know that you aren't trying your best right now to try to make me feel better about all of this?"
Mipha was left with no possible answer to the question. For the truth was that she did not know what to say that would not make it all worse. Although the things the Boggart had told Zelda had been as far from the truth as they could possibly have been, Mipha knew deep down that when Zelda had looked at her and finally admitted the truth, there was nothing she would not have done to make sure that the smile would not falter the moment after. In the moment, as they were sitting in the Astronomy Tower, the only thing Mipha had been able to feel was joy. Joy that the feelings she had had for her best friend had not been little more than a hopeless mess, joy when she stepped closer to her and Zelda's smile only widened, but in the years that had followed since then, there had been nights where she had found herself unable not to wonder what she would have said if she had looked up and Zelda and known that the truth would break her heart. And now Mipha supposed that she knew that no matter what, she would have done what it would take to make sure that Zelda was happy.
"I suppose you can't," she finally answered, and Mipha could hear how flat her voice was, "nothing I can say to you would be enough to make you stop wondering about it, would it?"
And maybe it was the tone of her voice or the fact that she had admitted that she did not know what to say that made Zelda pause to look over at her. Mipha didn't know, but as she felt how Zelda properly saw her, she knew that she had made the right choice when she had told the truth.
"No," Zelda said after a moment of silence, "no, I don't think it would be." then, turning back to look at the road in front of them, she returned the squeeze, her voice becoming a bit warmer as she moved closer to Mipha. "I am sorry that I didn't tell you—"
"It is alright," Mipha began, "I can understand why you didn't feel comfortable—"
"Yeah," Zelda agreed, "I didn't feel comfortable letting you know about the Boggart. But the reasons for that might not be what you think they were."
That made Mipha look back over at her, and she could feel how she involuntarily drew her brows together as she tried to make sense of it. "What do you mean?"
"I mean that the reasons that I did not tell you about who my Boggart was might not be what you think they were. I wasn't worried that you would blame yourself." Zelda shot her a tiny smile. "I can see now that I should have considered that as well. I am sorry about that."
"It wasn't your fault."
Zelda nodded slightly. "No, I suppose it wasn't, but I still want you to know that I am sorry for how I did not consider what it would be like for you to find out about the Boggart like that. But even that was still not the reason I didn't tell you."
"Then what was?" Mipha inched closer towards her, slowly reaching out to put an arm around Zelda's shoulders. She wasn't quite sure if it was the right thing to do, but as Zelda responded by leaning closer towards her as well, the air around her felt slightly warmer, Mipha's stomach no longer feeling like the first time she had entered the Astronomy Tower and seen how the Forbidden Forest looked like a green rug far down below her.
"I think it took me by surprise as well," Zelda finally admitted, "I mean, I had—I would lie if I told you that I had never wondered about whether or not you ever looked at me and wondered if you had really made the right choice back then, but for the most part, the reason I didn't tell you was that I didn't even know what to think or what to do. You know," Zelda glanced down at their hands, and Mipha made sure to tighten her grip a bit, just enough to show her that she was still there, would be there for as long as Zelda wanted her to, "when I looked into that cupboard back at Link's house and saw that my Boggart had changed… I almost couldn't believe it. It was not something I had expected to happen—I had thought about it, but it was not something I had thought would ever be able to classify as being my greatest fear. So, there you have it," Zelda laughed softly, "I have no idea why it changed or what I can do about it."
She was silent, and Mipha knew that this was it. This was her chance, the moment where she was supposed to look down at Zelda and assure her that she knew what they could do to make sure that the next time they were in a situation where they would be forced to deal with a Boggart, there would be no risk of Zelda looking at it and seeing her. But she didn't do that. And, truth to be told, Mipha had no idea what she could do that she had not already tried.
So, rather than attempt to tell Zelda something that would no doubt never have been able to hide that it was all a façade, Mipha sighed. "Me neither. But I suppose that it would be a start if I told you that I am never going to tell you something like that. Even if things changes in the future, I can promise you that I did not kiss you that night because I pitied you."
"Yeah," Zelda agreed, nodding slightly before looking back over at her. Mipha was relieved to see that she was smiling, "It would be."
They stayed on the bench until the sun disappeared behind the trees further down the road, and as they went back inside, Zelda laughing about all of the things that they had not got done when she stepped on one of the cracked floor tiles, Mipha knew that despite Zelda's smiles and laughs, the conversation was not over yet. But, even then, Zelda's eyes shone a bit brighter, and that was all that mattered right then.