Gem flavored Pepsi
It had been several days since Steven had left Beach City on his own to explore all 39 states of America, not even questioning why there were only 39 instead of 50. He'd gotten his list all ready and was heading North but first he had to stop and get gas.
He stopped the car at a gas station and walked inside to get some snacks. "so I'm just saying, even though she has the body of a 14 year old, that was marriage material back in medieval times so it's okay to want to fuck her right?"
One of the customers was chatting with the gas station employee behind the counter and the employee looked like he wanted to die.
"Excuse me but could I please get some service here" asked Steven. The gas station employee's eyes suddenly lit up and he ran up to Steven and asked "what would you like"? Steven said "just a full tank of regular gas please" "coming right up" said the employee.
Steven went inside to wait on his car, and the other guy started talking to him "so as I was saying, I'd love for Megumin to use her explosion magic on me in more ways than one if you know what I mean" he then started playfully elbowing Steven. Steven sighed it was going to be a long 30 minutes.
Outside, the employee was walking toward Steven's car but then he stopped and looked at the camera "little does that customer know, but I'm actually going to fill up his gas tank with Chex instead of gas" he then pulled out a box of Chex cereal and started to pour it inside of Steven's gas tank.
"So anyways that's the reason for why anime body pillows are better than real girls and why pedophiles aren't bad, they're just ahead of the curb you understand right"? Steven's body was covered in a pink aura and he looked like he was having trouble resisting the urge to murder this man, but then the employee came back in and said "Mister, you're all ready to go now". Steven calmed down and said "thanks, I'll be on my way now". Steven then got in his car and drove away.
Several hours later
Steven was driving his car through a forest area, there didn't seem to be anyone around for miles. Suddenly he heard his car start to sputter "what's going on, I just got gas a while ago!"
The car then stopped in the middle of the forest. Steven got out of his car and checked to see the inside of his car.
"CHEX!?" Steven then turned pink, picked up his car and threw it high into the sky out of anger.
*meanwhile on gem homeworld*
Spinel was hugging her body pillow of Adolf Hitler, her new husband "I love you Hitler" said Spinel. She was doing this while watching her favorite earth tv show, Heil honey I'm home, while also being disappointed that it didn't get past the pilot episode. Suddenly she heard a noise coming from the sky. Spinel looked up to see what it was when suddenly *CRASH*. Spinel opened up her eyes and saw that her Hitler dakimakura had gotten crushes by Steven's car. Tears started coming down Spinel's face as she started yelling "ADOLF WHY"?
*Back on earth*
Steven calmed down and decided to go look for someone to help him get a new vehicle to travel with. Afterall how hard could it be?
3 days later
Steven was crawling on his knees at this point, it turns out that it's not so easy to find people to help you in the middle of some forest in who the fuck knows where. The worst thing about it all was the thirst that Steven was feeling right now.
He hadn't had anything to drink in these 3 days, and the convenience store snacks he bought disappeared very quickly. All in all it was not a very good time to be Steven Universe right now.
Steven couldn't believe his luck, after all that he had gone through, he was seriously going to die this way? That seemed very unfair and it angered him. Suddenly he started thinking about his thirst again.
"ISN'T THERE ANYONE WHO CAN GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DRINK" Steven yelled.
It was then that Steven noticed the faint music playing in the distance which seemed to be growing louder with every passing second. The music seemed to repeat only one lyric and that lyric was "PEPSIMAN" over and over again.
He also noticed that there was someone in the distance running towards him at mach speeds, getting closer every second. It seemed to be a woman but she looked very different from other humans and gems he'd met. She was completely chrome and she had no hair on her head. She had a logo in the middle of her large chest, it was the Pepsi logo.
This Pepsiwoman continued running towards Steven with her theme song blaring really loudly all the while until eventually she got to Steven and stopped running, but her theme song was still playing.
Pepsiwoman then pullet out a can of Pepsi and handed it to Steven for him to drink. Steven's eyes lit up, finally after all this time, something to quench his thirst.
Steven cracked open the can and started sipping it, enjoying every last drop of it. Inevitably Steven was finished with his drink. Steven then asked "is there anymore that I could drink", Steven then looked at Pepsiwoman's large chest and saw that there was Pepsi leaking out of her nipples.
Steven was surprised and then he asked "is that where it's made?" Pepsiwoman nodded her head to signal yes. Steven then said "good to know" he then started sucking on her tits to get some much needed nourishment, like a plumber trying to unclog a toilet with a plunger.
Her breast feels smooth and metallic and the Pepsi tastes like wild cherry flavor and is one of the best sensations that Steven has ever experienced in a long time, it was better than cookie cat. Steven was enjoying himself but like an indie game developer, he'd quit while he was ahead and stopped sucking to take in a breathe of fresh air.
Steven's thirst was more than quenched now but he wasn't done yet because he had a new thirst now, a thirst for Pepsiwoman.
Pepsiwoman then made pointed at her other tit to show that she wanted Steven to suck on it, like a French chef who gets a little bit too attached to one of his baguettes and makes a decision he later regrets in the morning.
Steven then started sucking on Pepsiwoman's other boobie, this time the drink coming out tasted a lot like lemon. He eventually stopped sucking, but still had a mouthful that he was swishing around.
While his mouth was still full, he planted his lips onto Pepsiwoman's so that she could also try some of this fantastic drink. Pepsiwoman didn't know how to react to this, none of her customers had ever shown her affection like this but she ended up deciding to go along with it and kissed Steven back.
The kiss between Steven and Pepsiwoman lasted for 5 minutes but it felt like an eternity of bliss. Both of them eventually broke the kiss off. Pepsiwoman blushed, she liked where this was going, and Steven realized that throughout the whole session, that damned theme music was still playing. Steven asked "could you please turn that music down" Pepsiwoman nodded her head and the music got muted.
Steven then took off his clothes in order to prepare for his dip into the soda fountain. Pepsiwoman then spread her legs to reveal her metal vagina. Steven then proceeded to take out a quarter and he inserted it into Pepsiwoman's coin slot in order to play her game.
He started to thrust inside and out like a kid shaking hands with the President who doesn't want this moment to end. Steven started thrusting faster and faster inside of Pepsiwoman's sarcophagus until he released his dick snot to flood her catacombs.
Pepsiwoman then flipped onto her knees and pointed at her butt crack, signaling Steven to clap her ass cheeks like a parent at their daughter's ballet recital. Steven happily obliged and he started to insert his straw into Pepsiwoman's lid in order to suck up her juices.
Steven keeps on thrusting, much to Pepsiwoman's pleasure until his fish stick cracks open and releases tartar sauce to create a balanced meal.
Steven and Pepsiwoman then both lay down, satisfied with the events that just took place, knowing that the future holds great things to cum (ba dum tss).
2 years later
Steven and Pepsiwoman shared a kiss on the altar as Steven slipped a ring on her finger. Both the gems and the people of Beach City stood up and clapped at this.
Steven then carried his new wife out of the Church and put her in a limosine. Steven was about to get in but he just had to satisfy his curiosity.
Steven went up to Garnet and asked "hey Garnet, was this one of the futures that you saw?" Garnet then said "I lied Steven, in all 300 of the visions that I saw, Pepsiwoman was the one standing at the altar"
Steven then smiled and said "Garnet you're the best" and then he went into the limo to join his new wife Pepsiwoman and see what new adventures could happen