Disclaimer: I do not own any of the material appearing in this story.
Xehanort was sitting down on a bench, minding his own business and eating some Sea Salt Ice Cream. He looked up to the clouds and let out a relaxed sigh. "Xehanort!" A voice called out to him as he looked over to see Eraqus running over to him.
"Oh, hello doofus. To what do I owe this pleasure?" Xehanort teased, chuckling a bit. "…You seemed to be in a bit of a hurry."
"Of course! I was walking around in the store and I found this new chess set that's apparently very popular!" He said.
"That being?"
Eraqus pulled it out of his bag. "Ta-dah!"
Xehanort looked at the name with a raised eyebrow. "Super Smash Bros Ultimate: Chess Edition? Everyone is here?"
"Yup! …I'm not even sure what that even means, but I'm wanting to see how it goes!"
"Quick question. What the heck is Super Smash Bros Ultimate?"
"Beats me! Want to test it out with me?"
"Eh, sure, I've got nothing better to do anyway." Xehanort chuckled.
"Great! Let's go!"
A few minutes later…
"Alright, let's see what we got here…" Eraqus opened it up and put the chess board down and then looked at the pieces.
"This board looks a bit bigger than usual…" Xehanort mused.
"That's because, according to this, there are 82 pieces."
"82?!" Xehanort looked completely dumbfounded.
"And it says here that they'll be adding more pieces in the future sold separately. One of them being… ARMS?" He tilted his head.
Xehanort sweatdropped. "Goodness gracious, what did you drag me into?"
"Oh, I'm sure it's fine." Eraqus waved it off. "Alright…" He pulled out the instruction booklet. "Tell me who's who!" He grinned. "…Wait, these guys are all numerically ordered? Okay… so we got Mario, Donkey Kong, Link-"
Several chess pieces later…
"-And finally… Byleth."
Smoke was coming out of Xehanort's ears. "That's too many to remember."
"Oh, what's this… a World of Light mode?" Eraqus wondered as he skimmed through it. "So, wanna play?"
"Sure… let's set it up." Xehanort said as he saw Eraqus putting all the pieces on, while Xehanort noticed that Eraqus put a Warp Pipe piece (Piranha Plant), a Phantom Thief piece (Joker), a Dragon Quest symbol piece (Hero), a jigsaw piece (Banjo & Kazooie), an FF Piece (Terry) and a Crest of Flames piece (Byleth) moved to the side. "Why are they not on the board?"
"Says here that they'll come later."
"…Okay then?" Xehanort shrugged as he noticed Eraqus pulling out a strange angel-like piece. "What's that one?"
"According to this… the piece is called Galeem."
"Well alright then."
"Now… let the game begin!"
Meanwhile…
Fox aimed his blaster while standing on a cliff. "Don't let a single one get away!" He ordered as he was standing in front of all the Smashers, as they were looking at a lot of Master Hand clones floating over to them and floating behind a strange creature… Galeem.
"We'll each need to take down about ten!" Marth said exasperatedly.
"Stow your fear… it's now or never!" Zelda said with determination.
"We'll win this… I know we will!" Pit said with hope, when suddenly the Hands started to slowly rip apart… when Shulk got a vision from the Monado that everyone was getting evaporated by strange lights. With a clench of his fists, he turned around.
"Kirby, run!"
"Poyo!"
Galeem started to absorb the Hand's energy… before unleashing a powerful attack with light beams scattering about. Link defended himself, but he got consumed. Samus was next. Zelda and Mewtwo tried to defend themselves but were quickly defeated. Bowser and Red tried to fight back but were consumed. Sonic and Pikachu tried to flee with the former reaching for Pikachu but the duo got consumed. Falcon tried to get away in his Blue Falcon, but was defeated. Bayonetta tried to escape, but not even she was safe. Snake tried to hide in his box… and failed. The Inklings hid in their ink, but not even they had a chance. Falco attempted to escape in his Arwing while Diddy and Rosalina tried to flee… but even they were no match for it. The only one who successfully escaped was Kirby as he put his Warp Star to its absolute limit before warping out of there… while all the other residents of the Smash World got taken out.
Back with the duo…
"…What just happened?" Xehanort asked, seeing that the only piece he had was the one with the Warpstar while Eraqus had everyone held hostage thanks to the Galeem piece.
"Cool!" Eraqus grinned, and then they noticed on the middle of the board, the World of Light map appeared before their eyes. "Ooooh cool! Now we know what's going on!" He said and then grinned. "Your move, bud!"
"Again, I ask… what did you drag me into?" Xehanort said as he looked at the Kirby piece before him. "Well… this is gonna get interesting." He said, moving his chess piece on the map and moving… and then immediately being greeted by a Smoky Progg. "What the… where did this come from?!"
"Cool, a lot of fights!" Eraqus grinned.
Xehanort sweatdropped. "Oh boy… what kind of mode is this anyway?"
World of Light…
"Poyo?" Kirby had noticed Mario in the distance after knocking some heads around. "Poyo!" His eyes sparkled as he ran over to greet the plumber… but when Mario turned around, Kirby noticed his eyes were red as Mario jumped up in the air and punched Kirby, but he jumped back in time… as Mario lunged directly at the pink puffball, but Kirby brought out his hammer and Hammer Flipped him in the head, knocking him to the ground as he swallowed him up and spat him out toward a tree and then ran over and kicked Mario in the chest and flip kicked him up in the air and then Hammer Flipped him to the ground one last time.
The light aura disappeared as Mario shook it off. "Oooh… mama mia…"
"Poyo!" Kirby jumped into his arms. "Poyo poyo!"
"Kirby? You saved me?"
"Poyo!"
Mario chuckled, patting Kirby on the head and then looked ahead of him. "Come on, we gotta save everyone."
"Poyo!" Kirby agreed.
The duo…
"Ooooh, I see what's going on here." Xehanort said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, seeing that the Mario Piece was now his.
"Pffft, beginner's luck." Eraqus teased. "Alright, so you have a choice. You can either fight Sheik, Marth or Villager… but choose wisely. Choosing one will block the other two for a while."
"Hmm… I'll fight all of them."
"Huh?!"
"I said I'll fight all of them, darn it!"
Eraqus sweatdropped. "Ooookay then!"
World of Light…
"Hiyah!" Mario punched Villager in the head after narrowly avoiding his axe while Kirby had copied Marth's ability and was in a sword duel with the Prince of Altea, all the while Sheik was throwing needles at the plumber, and then when Mario flinched from this, Villager dropped a flower pot on Mario's head. Sheik quickly threw a Burst Grenade at him, sending the plumber flying and he slammed into the ground as Sheik and Villager walked menacingly to him… when suddenly Marth used Dancing Blade on Sheik and sent her flying.
"Need some assistance?" Marth asked, as he was back to his old self.
"Yeah!" Mario nodded.
"Then let's do it!" Marth said as the three of them made quick work on Sheik and Villager, turning them back to normal.
"Oooof… my head…" Villager groaned.
Sheik shook it off. "Thank you. Now we need to go save the others."
Marth folded his arms. "Three paths…" He rubbed his chin in thought. "I'll take the west."
"I'll take north." Sheik said.
"I'll take the east!" Villager said as the three of them split up as Kirby went with Villager and Mario took off with Marth.
The duo…
"Heh, this is honestly pretty fun if I say so myself." Xehanort chuckled.
"Things are only going to get interesting from here, my friend!" Eraqus grinned.
Sometime later, in the World of Light…
"Pika… CHUUUUUUUU!" Pikachu cried, unleashing Thunderbolt on a possessed Tharja who was hexing Simon and Lucas. The light aura disappeared around Tharja as she fell over.
"Nnngh… what happened…?" Tharja wondered. "Last thing I remembered I was hexing two people… but it was a dream."
"That wasn't a dream…" Lucas said, shaking it off.
"Oh!" Tharja blushed a bit.
"Mmph… I've fought countless demons in Dracula's Castle… but I never fought someone like you." Simon shook it off. "No wonder Robin respects you."
"Robin?" Tharja's eyes widened. "Robin! Where is my husband? Tell me!"
"…You mean to tell me he's not here? You're not guarding him?" Lucas asked.
"No… unfortunately, I wasn't."
"Then who were you protecting?" Simon asked.
Pikachu's ear twitched as he looked up in the air and saw Pit jumping off of a ledge and landing near them. "Pika!"
"Tharja. Why aren't you destroying these fools?"
"…Oh dear Naga, please tell me I wasn't this dork's second in command…" Tharja groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose and hearing some snickering coming from Lucas. "Not that funny!" She said and turned to Pit who was already aiming his Palutena Bow at them.
"I'll destroy all of you!"
"Oh buzz off." Tharja said, launching a Nosferatu at him.
"Gah!"
"Don't just stand there! Beat the crap out of him while I'm holding him down!" Tharja ordered as the trio nodded and pelted Pit with Thunderbolts, Axes, PK Freezes, Crosses, Whips, PK Fires and what have you… and then the aura around Pit disappeared.
"Uuugh… what happened…? Why do I feel so tingly?"
"It's best you don't know." Tharja responded.
The duo…
"That was one sided." Eraqus muttered a bit, watching Xehanort get Pit's piece.
"Hey, like the instructions say… anything goes."
"Mmm, fair point."
Later, in World of Light…
"Aheheheh!" King Dedede taunted. "I'm the winner of this Gourmet Race and there's nothin' you can do about it!"
"You're right… but he can." Ness said, pointing behind Dedede.
"Wha?" Dedede turned around, only to get drop kicked into a wall by Bowser while Waddle Dee and Chef Kawasaki winced at this.
"That was for that fight in Subspace, ya doofus!" Bowser roared as Dedede got back up, the aura disappeared.
"Ooof, why do I feel like I got hit by a two ton bulldozer…?" Dedede groaned.
With the duo…
"Somethin' tells me Bowser was a sore loser." Eraqus said, watching Xehanort take the Dedede piece.
"Yeah, let's go with that." Xehanort chuckled.
Much later…
"Okay, so I'm using Galeem here." Eraqus said. "Make your move. What do you want to fight him with?"
"Piranha Plant." Xehanort put him down. "Plus Joker, Banjo and Terry."
Eraqus sweatdropped. "Excuse me?! I thought this was a one on one fi-… oh never mind."
One major team up later…
"Here's the big one!" Terry said to Galeem. "BUSTER WOLF!" He yelled, punching Galeem hard enough that he was sent flying into the abyss, KO'd.
"Yeah! Eat it, angel freak!" Kazooie taunted as Terry went to high five Joker, Piranha Plant and Banjo… when they saw darkness forming the land around them, and saw Galeem hightailing it out of there.
The duo…
"What the heck is that dark tentacle thing?" Xehanort asked.
"Dharkon!" Eraqus smiled. "Now we're in the World of Dark!"
"…Bring it on."
A little bit later…
"Alright, you're fighting Caeda and she's the one guarding Incineroar. Who do you choose?"
"Does she have a Pegasus?" Xehanort asked.
"Yeah, why?"
World of Light…
"AAAAAAAAH!" Caeda screamed, being dragged down by Byleth's Sword of the Creator.
"AMYR!" Byleth yelled, swinging the Amyr down when Caeda got close to her, sending her toward a tree and getting rid of her dark aura.
"Oooow…"
The duo…
"No reason." Xehanort shrugged.
"Well, if you say so!" Eraqus chuckled, watching Xehanort use Byleth to pummel Caeda and also Incineroar.
Later…
"How do you get to that person in the Lost Woods?" Xehanort asked.
"Only one way to find out." Eraqus said.
World of Light…
"Hey guys! I think there's something in this chest!" Young Link said.
"We already looked through it." Luminary said with Joker nodding in agreement. "It was gold."
"No, I swear, I think you missed some-" He fell in. "-THIIIIIIIING!" He yelled as Luminary and Joker gasped and jumped in, where they jumped out of another treasure chest and saw Chrom busting down trees as part of his "training".
The duo…
"How did you-…?" Eraqus looked dumbfounded.
"Lucky guess." Xehanort chuckled.
Later…
"Okay, so I got Zelda… and cleared the way to the Master Sword." Xehanort said. "If Zelda isn't guarding the Master Sword… and I got all the Links, then who's guarding it?"
"Simple!" Eraqus put down Cloud's piece. "Cloud!"
Xehanort gave Eraqus a deadpan look. "What."
"You heard me! Cloud's guarding the Master Sword."
"That doesn't make sense!"
World of Light…
"This doesn't make any sense at all!" Link exclaimed, blocking Cloud's attack with his Hylian Shield.
"How come you weren't guarding it?!" Zelda asked Hilda.
"There were boulders in the way!" Hilda defended, both of them unleashing Din's Fire on Cloud as Toon and Young Link ran over and slashed Cloud from the side and knocked him back as Link pulled out an Ancient Arrow, shooting him dead center as he slammed into a wall as the dark aura disappeared.
"Ugh… what…? Where am I?" Cloud wondered.
A little bit later…
"Hahahaha… HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ganondorf yelled, transforming into Ganon and towered over the Links and Zeldas, plus Hilda and Cloud. He let out a roar… when suddenly he felt something grab his tail as he looked behind and saw Bowser grabbing a hold of it.
"YAAAAAAAH!" Bowser heaved, throwing Ganon behind him and slammed his head into the ground and tore into him before he was ultimately defeated, while everyone sweatdropped. "I'm still not over it!"
"Uh… you do realize that was a different Ganondorf, right?" Toon Link asked.
"I don't care!"
With the duo…
"So all of those pieces were just a distraction so Bowser could win?" Eraqus asked.
Xehanort folded his arms, smirking proudly. "That's correct!"
Eraqus sweatdropped. "…Didn't know you liked Bowser so much."
Later, at Dracula's Castle…
"What is a man? A miserable pile of secrets… but enough talk, have at you!" Dracula said as he teleported from his throne.
"Honey, I'm giving you my power!" Tharja said, transferring her Spirit energy to Robin.
"Bego-" He suddenly felt itchy. "…Why do I feel itchy? Agh! Make it stop!"
"…Dude…" Daisy looked at Robin dumbfoundedly.
"You're one to talk, miss 'I needed to be saved by Dry Bowser'." Robin said snarkily as he was under the influence of Tharja's Spirit.
"I… uh… that's a fair point…" Daisy muttered.
"Now! While he's distracted! I just gave him the feeling that hot Carolina Reaper peppers was inserted up his butt."
"Yaaaaah!"
"Roar!" Incineroar cracked his knuckles and smirked cockily as he, Daisy, Ken, Richter and Simon proceeded to beat the living crap out of him, even if he went into his second form. Tharja transferred her Spirit Energy back into herself while Robin rubbed his head
"Goodness… is that what hexing people is like?" Robin asked.
"Welcome to the club, honey." Tharja smiled.
With the Duo…
"Why do I feel like you cheated there?" Eraqus asked.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Xehanort smirked.
Sometime later…
"Alright losers! You're asking for it!" Marx yelled, quickly teleporting as his cheeks started bulging. "BWAAAAAAAAH!" He yelled, unleashing his laser… but Samus fired her Zero Laser at him to counter it, and Inkling Girl slapped down a Killer Wail.
"Stay freeesh~!" Inkling Girl smirked, as it activated and joined Samus' Zero Laser to make it push the laser back… while Rosalina made it rain star bits on him just to distract him, which actually worked as he was consumed in the Ink filled Zero Laser.
"AAAAGH!" Marx cried as he was coated in paint as he was barely holding on. "Why you good for nothin' punks! I'll-"
"POOOOYO!" Kirby Hammer Flipped him into the ground to finish him off.
"Mmph!"
"Well, that worked!" Rosalina smiled.
With the duo…
"Was Kirby even necessary?" Eraqus asked.
"What? I thought it'd be funny." Xehanort shrugged.
"Well, in any case, you got Dharkon to deal with. Choose your character… or characters as you tend to do."
"Luminary, Ness and Link."
"Which Link?"
"Yes."
"Huh?"
"I meant all three!"
World of Light…
Dharkon was already weakened by the powers of the Master Sword… while Young Link and Ness were spamming Fire Arrows and PK Fires. "Alright, I'm fully charged!" Luminary raised his hand up in the air. "QUADRASLASH!" He yelled, summoning a huge sword from a portal and it slammed into Dharkon to finish him off.
"Whoa." Toon Link could only say.
"Can you teach me that?" Ness asked.
The duo…
"Well, now we're in The Final World… and I'm only left with four pieces and Galeem and Dharkon… but there's no way you can get past their strongest minions!" Eraqus chuckled. "I mean, there's no possible way you could-"
Dr. Eggman…
Zelda quickly unleashed the Triforce of Wisdom to suck in all the Bob-ombs that rained down, then she snapped her fingers as the Triforce of Wisdom appeared near Eggman and Metal Sonic… and released all the Bob-ombs, resulting in a powerful explosion that sent the two flying. "See ya~!" Zelda waved.
Guile…
"Sonic Boom! Sonic Boom!" Guile yelled, using it on Terry… when suddenly his feet were frozen by the Ice Climbers. "What?!"
"Now!" Popo yelled.
Terry smirked as he lunged directly at Guile, grabbing him by the collar. "Are you okay? BUSTER WOLF!"
"AAARGH!" Guile was knocked in the air as the Ice Climbers Belayed and the two hammered Guile into the ground to defeat him.
Giga Mac…
"Aaargh!" Giga Mac grunted as he was knocked out of the ring… thanks to Samus using her Plasma Whip to throw him off the ring.
"You're welcome." Samus said, dusting her hands off.
Claus and Hinawa…
Lucas simply hugged the two. "I don't want to fight you… I… I never said goodbye to the two of you!"
"We never wanted this either, sweetie…" Hinawa said, gently kissing Lucas on the forehead.
"Kick their butts for us, alright?" Claus asked. "We'll help you." He said as the two of them transferred their Spirit Energy into Lucas.
"…Thank you… both of you." Lucas said and turned to his friends. "Let's end this."
With the duo…
Eraqus sat there completely dumbfounded. "How…"
"Simple, really. You're playing as the bad guy." Xehanort said.
"Alright… since Master Hand is making mince meat on all the clones… who do you want to fight Galeem and Dharkon with? I imagine it's everyone." He joked.
"Everyone." Xehanort smirked as Eraqus jawdropped, seeing the pieces surrounding the two.
"Oooooh crud…"
One major butt kicking later…
Galeem and Dharkon fell into the ocean, lifeless… as all the Spirit energy left everyone who they had saved. "Aww… I liked the idea of possessing my husband." Tharja pouted a bit.
"Well, no more of that. We did it." Robin said.
"And good riddance to ya!" Crazy Hand yelled. "Hope you like your watery grave!"
"Calm yourself, brother." Master Hand said. "The Smash World is at peace now."
"Poyo!" Kirby agreed.
With the duo…
"Aaand that's checkmate." Xehanort said as Eraqus looked absolutely annoyed. "This was honestly the most unique chess game I've ever played." He said as he got up. "Thanks for the time." He walked off.
"Mmmph! Best two out of three! This time it's on Ultra Hard mode!"
Xehanort let out a chuckle. "Sure… I'll take that challenge." He said as he sat down with Eraqus once more and proceeded to beat the living daylights out of Eraqus once more, much to his chagrin.
Normally, when I get ideas while i'm showering, I get ideas for like my RWBY or Touhou stories, not an actual oneshot. What are the odds, right?