"We can't keep going like this, Severus. We're going to have to talk at some point."
Severus stopped in step, frozen with his jaw clenched and his hands fisted and shaking at his sides. He shouldn't be on this side of the castle, this was Severus' patrol, but there had been extra rounds scheduled.
"Why? When I'm doing such a good job of ignoring your existence?"
He wanted to turn around. He felt the familiar rush of need to turn around and see him, drink in the sight like he was a dying man wandering a desert. The feeling of weakness made him sick and angry, even more when he heard his voice again. That voice that hadn't changed from its soft and steady timbre, the words had.
"You're not ignoring my existence, Severus, you're spurning it!"
"So what if I am?!" Severus hissed, turning to face him at last. There was a traitorous flutter at seeing him, a glee that made him lightheaded. "I'm not talking about this with you, now or at all. You will keep your distance, wolf, I will keep mine, and in June when the board inevitably calls for your resignation I will have a drink in your honour."
He recoiled at the reference to his lycanthropy, looking like a strong wind might knock him over. That hadn't changed either. He gave Severus a hurt expression, and then a soft smile. "What happened to us, Sev?"
"Don't call me that. You know what happened."
Severus should turn and leave. He should just walk away, but he didn't really want to. He felt like he needed it, this confrontation fifteen years in the making. He was angry, still hurt, and even angrier at the confusion Lupin's dace displayed- as a lifetime had passed since he'd been Remus and Severus had to instil that in himself.
Lupin took a step closer to him, and Severus clenched his fists tighter but didn't move away for fear of showing weakness. Fear of showing the fear he had that he might let go of his anger and beg for them to be as they were. Lupin stopped at his obvious distress, his shoulders deflating and his hands out to show that he meant no harm.
"Severus, please. Talk to me."
"You chose him!" Severus shouted, spitting mad. He felt like hurting someone, like taking something delicate and beautiful and ruining it beyond any sort of recognition. "After everything, after what he did, you chose him."
He'd waited for Remus to come to him, waited for him to cast Black aside for everything he did. But it wasn't Black that he left behind. Instead, Severus was forbidden to talk about it, suffering nightmares that Black's attempts at murder had succeeded. That he and Remus were both lost to just petty grudges as they knew eventually they would be, and Remus never came to tell him he was wrong.
"He tried to kill me, Remus," he said, pleading for him to somehow make it right. Fifteen years and he remembered too well the peace he felt in his arms. He remembered too well, every kiss and loving word. "He would have killed me."
"He didn't mean to, Severus. He wasn't thinking." Severus scoffed and turned around to leave. Lupin stopped him. "Severus, please. I wasn't the one that left. You never came back! It wasn't my fault, but you never talked to me again that wasn't an insult. You can't blame me for that."
"I can, and I will! Do you know what happened in the Headmaster's office after you and your friends were able to go to bed? I was threatened with expulsion if I ever spoke about anything that happened to anyone, while Black barely received detention. I waited for you, but you didn't care any more than Dumbledore did. What's the life of a snake when there are lions to protect?"
Lupin didn't say anything for several minutes, staring at Severus while a myriad of emotions played out on his face; anger, regret, pain, hope, and then he began laughing as though he'd heard a great joke. He took two large steps and grabbed Severus' face like he used to and pressing his lips to his. Severus froze, eyes widening and noticing that Remus' were closed. And how could he call him anything but Remus when his lips were so soft? He let himself sink into the kiss for a moment, allowing himself a fragile second to kiss him back and pretend they'd never stopped being.
Finally, after his moment, he shoved Remus away. He was panting, breathless, and wanting so hard to do it again. "What in the hell do you think you're playing at?"
"Oh, Severus," Remus said with a smile, the loving and amused smile he would give while they were laying together and Severus said something funny. "I've missed you."
Severus hadn't expected to hear that, the rage hesitating and coming back. "Well, I haven't missed you!"
He could tell he didn't believe him. Severus had missed him. "Really? Because it felt like you missed me as much as I did you."
"This changes nothing."
"Severus, I thought you didn't want to see me. I thought, after finding out what I was, that you didn't want me anymore- and you never came to tell me otherwise. I didn't know you wanted me to come to you."
Severus glared. "This changes nothing. It was over a long time ago, and we've both changed too much."
Remus grabbed Severus' left arm, rubbing his thumb over where he knew the Mark was under his sleeve. "We've changed, but it's never been over. Severus, I've loved you for sixteen years. Don't hide from me."
"Y-you thought I wouldn't want you?" Severus scoffed. "I wasn't an idiot, Remus. I knew what you were by the end of third year. I only went down that hole because I knew those friends of yours were able to make your moons easier somehow and that's what I wanted to do."
"We're both idiots then," Remus grinned. "What do you suppose we should do about it?"
Severus felt his heart give another traitorous leap. "How about we start with finishing our rounds."
Remus interlocked their fingers. "We can do that."