Hello! How very unexpected of me to arrive in the complete opposite fandom from my usual, but how can you not love the good doctor. This is a recap of how season 3 episode 8 should have gone, with every scene between Neil and Audrey. The dialogue will be changed up a little bit to fit how I want the ending of this one shot to be.
'I'd lose myself'
Just as Audrey was packing to leave for work, she suddenly turned towards the door when it slowly opened to reveal Neil.
"Hello" she announced, her eyes and movement returning to packing papers into her bag.
He didn't answer immediately, deciding to close the door gently before turning to face her and speaking.
"You didn't return my calls this weekend" he stated, placing his hands in his pockets and balancing on the back of his heels. Audrey let out a sigh, knowing exactly what he was talking about and turned to face him.
"After a ride up Skyline Boulevard, 60 minutes of Muay Thai and a 15 year reserve scotch" she started "I had a moment of clarity"
"Well now I'm getting nervous" he grinned, but she didn't smile back
"What you said about my objectivity in the fields case wasn't about me, you were in pain"
"I was taking responsibility" he tried, crossing his arms and balancing on the side of her desk "and asking you to take your share"
"You basically told me that because of our relationship, that woman died. You made me feel like it was my fault, that I had killed her. I have enough of my own guilt Neil, I didn't need you to add to it" she tried, crossing her own arms as a form of protected from the backlash.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said any of that. It was a mistake. I was just mad and my pride was getting in the way. I'm supposed to be one of the best surgeons out there, how on earth could I let this happen"
she unfolded her arms and went to sit beside him, also leaning against the desk
"You need to accept that despite being a gifted surgeon, you are fallible. Just like me, just like Glassman and any one of our residents. I will make decisions, and there will be bad outcomes but all of the good outcomes overshadow the bad"
"I think I need some time" he admitted and she nodded "I also think i should run my producers by Glassman from now on"
"Excuse me?" she was stumped
"Audrey, we need some checks and balances"
"I am checked and balanced" she leaned over to give him a short peck on the lips before standing "and I'm the chief of this department. You will continue to run your medical decisions past me" she looked down at her hands, not wanting to see his reaction before walking over to the door and opening it for him.
"See you tonight?" he said hopefully
"I have a mountain of paperwork to do tonight" she replied, frowning at the disappointed look on her face "But I will call you." He nodded at her before taking leave
The next time they met up was to discuss a medical issues regarding one of their patients, Wren Braxton, an aspiring astronaut
"I think it's possible to spare her upper lobe using a surgical robot" Dr. Lim announced as she came up to stand next Dr. Melendez "Wren Braxton came to see me"
"You're her second opinion?" he questioned, raising his eyebrows "...or forth, or whatever she's up to"
"I'm surprised you didn't offer the robotic option" she replied "it's the type of surgery I usually send your way"
"I didn't offer it because with the robot, if i nicked her pulmonary artery, she'd likely bleed out before I had a chance to control the bleeding"
"she's just going to keep looking until someone gives her the answer she wants, what then?" she tried "What do you think her odds of survival are if some hack tries to cut the tumour out leaving the lungs intact?"
"Roughly 0" he replied
"i agree, and with you with the robot?"
"Still lousy" he went to walk off but she grabbed his arm bringing him back close to her, a little too close for two doctors in a public hospital to be
"You can do this" she tried "You're overestimating the risk and I know why"
"and you are doing exactly what you did last time, assuming that I can do anything"
"I thought you said that was a mistake" she pulled away from him "clearly not"
"Audre..."
"So everyone else is biased except for you" she snapped cutting him off "The one who just had a patient die on him"
"If it's had an effect, it's to make my judgement more acute" he replied, anger building in himself as well "I won't risk having Wren leave here the same way that Patty Fields did"
"People risk things to make their dreams come true" she replied, her voice softening at his admission "But if you don't want to help her I'll do it myself" she quickly walked off, leaving him alone and agitated in the hall way.
Finding him was a little more difficult than she anticipated, but after 20 minutes of roaming around the whole hospital she finally ran into him.
"60%" she started, and Neil could hear the rage in her voice as she stepped into strides with him "That number is grossly exaggerated. I spent an hour convincing my patient I wasn't trying to kill her!"
"She came to me, I gave her my surgical opinion" he replied calmly, not wanting the whole hospital to hear their dispute and hoping it would calm her.
It did not.
"I could fire you for this!" she growled
"Because I contradicted your opinion after you contradicted mine?" he snapped
"I gave her an option you were too afraid to present"
They came to a stop outside the main hall desk and turned to face one another.
"No you proposed a potentially deadly surgery to a woman who is desperate for any option, no matter how crazy"
"You don't have the authority" she argued, stepping closer to him
"Authority?" he snapped "I thought we were talking about the patient?"
"It was unprofessional, disrespectful and I..."
"If anyone showed a lack of respect..." he cut over her but was cut off by Dr. Glassman himself
"Doctors, my office" he calmly said, the two surgeons looked at each other before turning to follow.
"I assume that some of this is professional and the other 90% is personal" Dr. Glassman started, staring at couple opposite his desk "Am I right?"
"It's a very difficult case" Dr. Lim started "We're both just overly invested"
"Actually" Neil cut in, ignoring the blatant stare of hid girlfriend beside him "I'd love for you to weigh in on this one"
"Dr. Lim are you confident in the surgical plan" Dr. Glassman asked and she nodded "Goodluck" he started grabbing papers from his desk and heading out
"You didn't even look at the case?" Neil tried "The pulmonary..."
"Dr. Lim is my chief of surgery, I trust her judgement" he cut him off and Audrey let out a breath.
"I'm sorry things got out of hand, it won't happen again" Audrey said, not making eye contact with the president
"It better not happen again, if you two can't control you interpersonal squabbling's, I'm going to have to loose one of you" he replied leaving the room
He saw her stood on the balcony of her office, they hadn't spoken since they left Dr. Glassman's office over 3 hours ago. He stepped up beside her quietly enough to hear her sniffle and her shoulders slump
"hey" he whispered startling her as she began to rub at her eyes, but Neil could see the redness in them "I'm sorry"
"Maybe I should leave St. Bonoventure. Berkeley's chief is retiring this year, I could apply to replace him" she started much to his own shock
"We are entitled to have differing opinions, we can argue.."
"Apparently we can't" she cut him off, that seemed to be happening a lot today
"I love you" he stated, following the pregnant pause that occurred a minute before. Her normally stoic face turned into a bright smile as she leaned in to kiss him, his hand coming to rest on the side of her face. When they parted she rested her forehead against his.
"I wan't this to work, so bad" she started and pulled back from him "But I also want to be chief, if we can't find a way to work together with me as your boss, then something has to change" he looked at her and nodded, her eyes welled up at the thought of them not together and he opened his arms allowing her to fall into his embrace.
"Assistant port is secured" the nurse announced to the whole of the OR, Audrey and Dr. Browne included.
"Load the forceps and the electrocatery" Dr. Lim replied, placing her hands in the controls of the robot.
"Dr. Melendez" Browne suddenly said and everyone turned to the other surgeon entering into the room "What are you doing here?"
"My chief is doing a difficult surgery, I'm here to help in any way I can" he replied, looking directly at Audrey. She nodded at him and they began the procedure.
About an hour later, the three doctors remained in the OR, continuing on with their difficult yet hopeful surgery.
"I can see the base of the tumour" Dr. Lim announced "There's a lot of bleeding teasing of the pulmonary vein"
"Put a bipolar electrocautery instrument on the right arm" Neil said as he moved cautiously around the patient.
"It's way more friable than it looks, the tumour has invaded the vessel wall"
"We need to load more hemostatic matrix" Dr. Brown said to the nurse who got to work, and the OR went quiet. Neil looked over concerned at his girlfriend due to her unnatural silence.
"If I keep going, I'll end up with a bleed I can't control" Dr. Lim announced, closing her eyes in disappointment before opening them and looking towards Dr. Melendez who shook his head at her, knowing what she was thinking.
"We can't take a lung" he tried
"What other choice do we have"
"We need to think, this is your surgery Dr. Lim" he replied "You've got this"
After a minute of silence, Audrey spoke again
"I need a prostatectomy kit, now!" she announced, stepping away from the robot and over to the patient and over to a confused Dr. Melendez "Prostate cancer tends to grow along the surrounding nerves. Equipment's designed to dissect the tumour without injuring the nerves. Substitute arteries for nerves and we've got the situation"
"Let's do it" he smiled beneath his mask proudly
Audrey ran her stethoscope across her patients chest, listening for a rhythmic heartbeat as she started to wake
"Did you..." Wren tried, her voice croaky
"we got it all" Dr. Lim smiled at her, placing the stethoscope around her neck "and you'll still need that flight suit"
"Thanks doc" she let out a sigh of relief, finally noticing the other doctor in the room.
"He might have helped out a little bit too" Audrey smiled over at Dr. Melendez who stepped forward holding a medical instrument in his hand.
"She's just being modest" he spoke, smiling "The tumour was more entangled in your artery's than it appeared, But Dr. Lim pulled of a remarkable win for us, as she usually does" they both smiled at one another before he held up the instrument "This is the reason you still have two complete lungs"
"Sign it" Wren grinned, nodding at the instrument "Both of you. I'm going to leave it on the moon"
The two doctor shared a brief look of shock before smiling and nodding
The low rumble of his girlfriends Ducati was what alerted Neil of her unexpected arrival at his house, knowing that she had previously told him she had a bunch of paperwork to do. He was already at the door opening it before she had a chance to even knock, leaving her hand in the air.
"I hope it's not too late" she started, her voice breaking indicating that something was wrong
"It's fine" he stepped aside, opening the door further "Come in"
They both stepped inside, coming to a holt just outside the front door.
"What's wrong?" he started
"Nothing, why would yo..."
"Because I know you, something is wrong" he tried reaching for her, only for her to step back "Audrey?"
"I can't Neil" she said softly, looking down at the helmet she held in her hands
"What do you mean? What's going on?" he was beginning to get worried
"I don't think I can give you the unconditional support you deserve from a partner" she choked "and the objectivity you need from a chief"
"What are you saying?"
"W..We can be together, it's not working"
"What do you mean it's not working? Look at us today, we performed an amazing and successful surgery together"
"Today, we performed an amazing surgery. What about tomorrow, or the day after. I can't keep fighting with you, it hurts to much"
"We can work this out.." he tried, he voice catching
"I love you" she blurted out, a brief smiling ghosted his face at the admission "But it's not enough" she stepped back from him "Goodnight Neil" and began walking towards the door
"You're it for me" he tried causing her to pause "I'm not going to move on and I'm not going to stop loving you. You are it, you've always been it" he saw her shoulders shake, indicating that was either crying or trying her best not to "There is no one else for me, I need you to get that"
She slowly turned to face him, tears making their way down her face.
"I need you Audrey" he stepped closer towards her "I've always needed you, since residency. So many years I've denied our connection, I had Jessica and you had Kashal. But it was never enough, you were always the person I went to. The person who was the most loyal, the most fun, the person to give the best advice and the only person who could drink me under the table"
She smiled through her tears as he stepped towards her, allowing him to take her hands in his.
"We fight. I know and it's always about work. But we can fix this, we can talk to Glassman, go to couple therapy, I'll even take a ride with you on that death machine you love so much"
"Asshat" she whispered as he stepped closer, almost touching from head to toe
"I can't loose you Audrey, I'd lose myself" he breathed
"I'm sorry" she finally broke and he wrapped his arms around her "I'm scared"
"I know. I am too" he replied kissing her temple
"I haven't had a relationship since Kashal. Wh...What if I mess this all up" she tried
"It's a learning curve for the both of us, truly loving someone, knowing deep down that this is the one person that you want to spend the rest of your life with.."
"What about Jessica?" she questioned, looking up at him from his chest
"I loved her, I will admit that. But she's not you. She never once questioned how a patient was affecting me, not once asked to see my family and she didn't like Gabi..."
"How could you not love your sister?" Audrey groaned
"She never tried to get along with her, she never brought her puzzles or board games to play for Christmas"
"I never.."
"It was you, I know. It's always been you. You're the only person I know who signs personal letters with a heart at the end of their name" she laughed into his chest "She loves them, I always say they're from Santa because I know you don't want her to know they are from you"
"She's special" Audrey whispered
"I know" he smiled "You know who else is special. You" he cupped her face in his hands "You are the most amazing person in my life and I can't bare to lose you Audrey. Remember, all the good overshadows the bad"
"Are you mocking me?" she questioned, smiling despite.
"I would never" he laughed
"Okay" she breathed
"Okay?"
"Okay, we can do this" he smiled widely before crashing his lips with hers, earning a soft groan from the woman.
"I love you" he whispered against her lips
"I love you too" she replied, kissing him softly.