Author's Note: This is an AU story. This is a strictly a Joshaya story. It is based on my and my boyfriend's story. The genders will be reversed in this story than in real life (Josh's storyline is mine, Maya's storyline is my boyfriend's). It's written like a memory. Hope you like it!
TRIGGER WARNING: Mention of self-harm in this chapter only.
Josh's POV
I got on a teen dating/friend-making website. I went on people's webcam lives, and one stood out to me. A girl named Maya. No one would stay on her webcam live. People would call her ugly, as well as other names, and leave. I thought she was really nice and would chat with her and look forward to talking to her. She gave me her Skype. I added her, but we fell out of contact for a little bit of time.
A few months later
It was the Fourth of July. I was home alone. My parents and siblings went out, and I stayed home. Now that I think about it, I'm not exactly sure why I did.
I had been depressed for quite a while. This day was particularly bad, and all I wanted to do was talk to my best friend that's a girl. So, I grabbed my phone and texted her.
Me: Hey Charlotte
Her: Hey
Me: I'm really down right now, can we talk?
Her: Yeah. What's up?
I told her about everything that was on my mind—how down I was feeling, and that I just needed someone to talk to. I wanted to feel something. Then, suddenly, she stopped texting me.
I tried texting her to see why she stopped. She didn't answer. Confused, I called her phone, and my number was blocked. I tried with my home phone, and that was blocked too. I got upset and called her house phone trying to figure out what was going on. I realized she wasn't going to answer and I felt completely abandoned.
She doesn't care, I thought. No one does.
I started crying uncontrollably, and without thinking, grabbed my pocketknife and started stabbing my leg. When I stopped, I freaked out, realizing what I had done, and cleaned off the blood and put so many band-aids on the cuts. I hid the evidence by wearing a pair of pants.
I started hurting myself more after that and decided to go to my doctor and he diagnosed me with depression. I had him as my doctor for a while, so we were somewhat close. He begged me to stop hurting myself and told me the he cared about me. I promised. I did hurt myself once more, breaking my promise, but that was the last time.
I went to the library to use my tablet some days after that and got on my Skype and saw the name Maya Hunter.
Who's that? I thought. I started messaging her, and instantly remembered her as we chatted. We were chatting for a while when she asked if we could video chat. I accepted her request and we started video chatting. I noticed she had trouble hearing me at times, but I didn't think anything of it.
I found out that she was seventeen, while I was eighteen, almost nineteen. I told her that I was depressed and she said she was too. She was bullied at school and it really took a toll on her. But something about her brought something in me to life—hope, worth; and I could see the same happened for her. Her smile made me happy and I smiled for real for the first time in a very long time.
Near the end of our about four-hour-long video chat, it was evident there was something there. I asked her if she felt what I did between us, she said she felt it too. I asked if she would be my girlfriend, she said yes. And because it just felt right, we said we loved each other as we ended our chat.
And that was the first day.