AN: This is kind of a weird crackfic that was inspired by "A Tale of Two Soulmates" by WolfeyKitten, which is a great fic and 100% worth reading!

Alfred and Matthew were twins, identical in every way. It was uncanny, actually, just how identical they were. They had the same bright blue eyes, the same golden blonde hair, even the same cowlick. When they started school, they both needed glasses and got the exact same prescription. Their parents liked to dress them alike at first, but that ended when they realized they couldn't tell the twins apart. It wasn't that they were horrible parents; when the boys got older they would exhibit very different personalities, but for now they even had the same birthmark. Yes, it was the strangest thing about them. Most people were born with a distinct birthmark: the first words their soulmate would say to them, and even these were identical on the boys. If the words were something generic like "hello" or "nice to meet you," their parents wouldn't have thought anything about it, but they weren't. They really weren't.

However, as alike as Alfred and Matthew looked, they couldn't be more different personality-wise. Alfred was loud and outgoing, and Matthew was quiet and reserved. Matthew was always well-behaved, and Alfred couldn't stay out of trouble. And thankfully, they developed very different styles, making them possible to tell apart without having to speak to them.

This was especially helpful, since they were always together. Throughout elementary, middle, and high school, they always kept the same friend groups and participated in the same activities. It wasn't until college that they finally began making friends independent of one another, although they still had dorm rooms across from each other.

One Friday, Alfred and Matthew were loading up their car to drive home for the weekend. Alfred carried a large laundry basket, not watching where he was going, when he walked right into someone.

"Al, you need to be more careful!" Matthew scolded, rushing to the person who had fallen down. "Sorry about that, are you okay?" He barely even noticed that Alfred had said it in unison with him, it happened often enough.

The boy got up and brushed himself off. Then he looked at the two boys in surprise. "I must've hit my head, I think I'm seeing double."

The twins drew in a collective breath, and Alfred dropped his laundry basket as they both checked their wrists. There were the identical birthmarks, the words to be uttered by their respective soulmates: "I must've hit my head, I think I'm seeing double."

The boy gave them a curious look before his eyes went wide and he checked his own wrist. Matthew caught a glimpse at the words: "Sorry about that, are you okay?"

"Um." That came from all three of them, and they stared at each other for several moments.

"Your laundry," said the boy weakly, and they all knelt down to put the spilled clothes back in the basket. "This is...I don't understand."

"Al, why don't you call Mom and tell her we'll be late?" Matthew suggested.

"Right, yeah, that's a good idea," Alfred muttered, nodding to himself. He stood up and walked off a little ways to call their parents.

"I'm Matthew, and that's my brother Alfred."

"I'm Emil. Um, does this mean that we're...I mean, all three of us? I really don't understand."

"I'm not sure, but I don't know what else it could mean. I mean, it's kind of hard to mistake what you said."

"But this isn't some kind of joke, is it?" Emil looked around nervously. "I'm not on camera, am I?"

"Not as far as I know. We've had these birthmarks ever since we were born, and they've always been identical."

"Identical...you're twins, aren't you?"

"That's right."

"Is it some kind of like, I don't know, genetic fluke?" Emil shook his head quickly. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"It's okay, we used to wonder the same thing, but as far as we can tell they're both real."

"I got ahold of Mom," Alfred said when he hung up. "She's not happy that we're going to miss dinner, but I told her it's important. Hi, I'm Alfred. Sorry for running into you."

"It's okay, I'm Emil."

"Should we go grab coffee or something?"

"I don't want to keep you two from going home."

"Nah, it's fine. But we can chat in my room, if you prefer."

"Not your room," Matthew interjected, thinking of the mess and smell that surely pervaded his twin's room. "We can go in mine."

A moment later, the three of them found themselves sitting on the futon in Matthew's room, unsure where to begin.

"Soooo," Alfred said finally. "You don't happen to have a twin brother, too, do you, Emil?"

"No," answered the boy, "I just have an older brother." Suddenly, his eyes doubled in size. "He's going to kill you two when he finds out. Or he'll kill me. Or all three of us."

"Yeah, well, I guess this means it's time for me to come out to Mom and Dad," Alfred laughed. "Actually, I wasn't even sure I was into men."

"I think they've guessed it by now," Matthew said. "Did you tell them what happened?"

"No, I thought we should talk things over before we tell anyone."

"Yeah, I mean, are we sure this isn't some mistake?" Emil added, nodding. "Not that you guys aren't great. I mean, I'm sure you are great people, but I never expected to end up with two soulmates. Did you guys think you would end up sharing a soulmate?"

"We always knew it was a possibility," Matthew answered. "It would be a weird coincidence if we each had a soulmate that said the exact same thing to us. I'm sorry, this must be a big shock to you."

"No, I'm sorry." Emil shook his head. "I'm being kind of a jerk right now. This supposed to be a happy moment."

"I don't blame you, dude," Alfred said. "I don't know how this is supposed to work."

"Yeah, we never really talked about how we would…" Matthew trailed off, looking away as his face burned.

"Share me?" Emil finished his thought, blushing bright red as well. "Can we…not talk about that right now?"

"Yeah, good idea."

"How about for now, we just exchange contact info? Then you guys can go home, and I can…"

"Process everything?" Alfred offered, and Emil nodded.

"Should we agree to keep this between the three of us for now?" Matthew asked.

"Yeah, until I figure out a way to tell my brother that won't end in murder."

"Oh, man," Alfred whined, "but it's going to be so hard to keep this a secret!"

"Al, do you really want to give Mom and Dad a heart attack tonight?"

"No, I guess not."

The three of them shook hands, agreeing not to tell anyone about their strange situation, at least until they had figured some things out first.

Although who knows how long that would take?