A/N: Okay, I've seriously got to stop fandom-hopping. But, well, plot bunny hit. I typed this up all in one sitting, in the middle of the night, so.
It's always struck me as odd, that for all Black Star says he doesn't care about Star Clan, it's present in everything he does, given how he constantly declares what a "star" he is. Plus, all his techniques—Speed Star, Shadow Star, etc. 'Course, that might just be a dubbed thing, since I didn't really watch the subbed for the most part. Add his tattoo and the stars on his clothing, including his shoes… well, it made me wonder if he didn't care more about it than he let on. Or, at least, it was more prevalent in his life that he tries to make it seem.
Thus, this.
Note: this follows the anime verse, since I've never read the manga. I've heard it's good though, better than the anime, so I've been planning to read it. I just never got around to doing so. Also, as such, some of the dialogue in this is taken from the anime, a kind of bastardized mixed of dubbed and subbed, with me going with whatever sounded best.
As always, the summary:
Star Clan's legacy dogs his steps like an ever-present, ever-persistent shadow. He pretends it doesn't bother him. (It does.)
...
Legacy
…
Sid's the one to tell him, pulls him aside one day as soon as he thinks Black Star's old enough to understand, and explains everything to him, about the Star Clan, the tattoo on his shoulder, his parents. Why he's a ward of the DWMA, how Lord Death claimed their souls. He doesn't mince words, doesn't bother softening the blow, and Black Star's begrudgingly grateful for that. The last thing he wants is to be treated like delicate glass, and Sid, at least, has never done that, just pushes him to be stronger.
"Black Star?" Sid says, pulling back to gauge his reaction to what he's saying.
"It's cool," Black Star says, easily. It's not even an act, for the most part. "I never knew them anyway, so it doesn't matter."
"It's okay if—"
Black Star bulldozes over him. "Don't worry 'bout it. I get it. They crossed a line, and they had to pay for it." He flashes a smile, and Sid takes the hint and drops it.
Now that he knows, though, he's more aware of the whispers and rumors circulating the school. He doesn't care. But other people—they do, it seems. Over the years, there's always gossip, whispers about it. Demon's blood, some say. Star Clan's legacy dogs his steps like an ever-present, ever-persistent shadow. He pretends it doesn't bother him. (It does.)
The next time it really comes up is years later. He and Tsubaki are hunting down the enchanted sword Masamune, and they stop in a strange village. One, it seems, who recognize his tattoo, and are none too happy about it.
They get chased out of the village. (Well, not chased. He just elected to leave, is all. The flying vitriol and stones have nothing to do with it. None at all.) Naturally, Tsubaki asks him about it.
It's not that he meant to hide it from Tsubaki, not really. It just hadn't occurred to him to tell her before—it doesn't matter to him, so what's the point? Besides, he thought she would have already heard the rumors floating around the school. People aren't very subtle about it, even if it's the minority these days who're worried about it. Everyone else is sometimes annoyed, but don't think less of him for it.
But she asks now, and he's never really meant to hide it in the first place. So he tells her. She's quiet after he's done, with only the soft pitter-patter of rain and rustle of leaves to break that silence.
"Black Star, do you resent the DWMA for what they did?" she asks, finally.
He's not really surprised that's her question; he'd be lying if he says he hadn't thought about it before. But— "Not really. This was all way back when, you know, so long ago I wasn't even close to being the big star I am now. My old man and old lady crossed a line they shouldn't have, and so they had their souls taken." He shrugs. "That's all there is to it."
"Yeah, I guess. But… I don't like seeing people treat you so badly for it. It wasn't your fault."
He laughs, part genuine and partially because he really doesn't think it's a big deal, so Tsubaki shouldn't be looking so concerned about it. "Are you kidding me? It's because of that I got attention earlier, didn't I?"
It seems to assuage her somewhat.
Then Masamune and everything happens later, and the Star Clan thing is dropped. Even if the villagers don't seem very willing to forget.
The next time, he's not even really aware of it, doesn't know that others see the Star Clan and danger in his eyes. Anger is thrumming through his veins, desperation clawing at him, sinking into his skin and ripping him apart. Disappointment, too, in himself because he's Black Star; he should be better than this, stronger than this. He should've been able to handle the Enchanted Sword, should've been able to defeat that damned samurai. It burns.
He's strong. He is. (Has to be—he's Black Star, he's going to surpass God one day. It's been a fact of his life for so long. If he's not strong, what is he, who is he?)
He's strong. And if he has to defeat Kid to prove that, then, fine. That's what he's going to do.
The fight's fine at first, goes better than the first one with Soul. Black Star's definitely gotten better; the training's paid off. As expected of a star.
And then—he has Kid, knows there isn't enough time for the Reaper to dodge, all he has to do is channel some of his soul wavelength, and—it doesn't come. His hand crashes into Kid's chest, but there's no soul energy in it, just physical force. He calls for his soul wavelength, and it doesn't come. He stares at his hand in betrayal and shock.
He's dimly aware of the onlookers, about Sid yammering on about doubt and lack of self-confidence blocking his wavelength. Bullshit. It's ridiculous; he's Black Star, no way he's doubting himself or losing faith.
He's Black Star. He's strong. He has to to be.
He snarls. "I don't give a crap. It's not about some stupid path, it's about winning. Stop spouting your useless drivel, stupid zombie."
Across from him, Kid eases out of his fighting stance. It's almost insulting, actually, that Kid thinks so little of him that he thinks he can relax in the middle of a fight. "Let's forget about the broken cone, Black Star," he calls. "Just stop this!" There's a plea in his voice, something flickering in his eyes. Concern, maybe, or worry. But Black Star is too far gone to care.
Stop? Stop? Don't they see? Are they really so blind? To lose is to admit defeat, and to admit defeat is to be weak. And whatever he is, he isn't weak. He can't afford to be. He growls, low in his throat. "I can't stop now. The moment I stop is the moment I die!"
Something seems to snap in Kid then, and he vanishes. A surge of triumph—finally, Kid's taking him seriously. About damn time. He doesn't have time to revel in it though. Black Star whirls around, but he's too slow, and the blow catches him in the back. He crumbles to the ground, but refuses to let himself fall.
Kid sets his mouth in a grim line and curb-stomps him. Literally.
Despite his best efforts, he blacks out, faced with the bitter sting of defeat once again. But before he does, he swears he hears Kid whisper something from next to him, something damnably sad in his voice.
It all comes to a head in his fight against Mifune, in the raid on Baba Yaga castle. The anger and desire to win is a living thing now, a dragon of fury burning in his chest. He's going to defeat Mifune (he refuses to lose to the same opponent twice; Kid is and will be the only exception to that); there's no question about it. He doesn't let himself doubt. He's Black Star, and confidence is in his blood. He'll do whatever it takes to win.
Nothing else matters.
But Mifune keeps prattling on about White Star, about demons and warriors and paths, exactly like Sid. It's infuriating, and Black Star is entirely fed up with people trying to lecture him. Who cares if Mifune had fought his old man? Why should he care about a clan that's dumb enough to get itself wiped out? White Star's ancient history, as far as he's concerned. If White Star lost, it's because he was weak, and Black Star says as much.
"No," Mifune says. "He was strong. But... no matter what, he kept driving forward, kept pushing himself. He didn't know when to stop. Because of that," Mifune's sword clangs against Tsubaki's blade, "he lost himself." Mifune shoves against his blade, and he's sent flying backwards.
"So I'll ask you again." The samurai's eyes are dead serious. "Which path will you choose? That of the warrior? Or of the demon?"
"Shut up, damn samurai," Black Star snarls. "You don't get to tell me what to do!" He's Black Star. No one controls what he does.
"I'm sorry then." A flash, and Mifune's gone. Where—? "You've chosen the darkness. I can do no more for you."
Mifune cuts him down, and he's choking in a sea of blood. Distantly, he hears Tsubaki scream his name, just before he's pulled under.
He's drowning, in the memories of fallen warriors, in the agony of defeated foes. And then he's inside the enchanted sword again, meets the presence inside it.
And he decides.
For all that he says he doesn't care, for all that he's tried to ignore it… The Star Clan is his past, and its legacy will keep dogging his step.
But that doesn't mean he has to let it affect his future. He's done letting it control him, in any way. The past should stay in the past; he's a star, and he's not going to let Star Clan be the sum of who he is. When people see him, it's him they're going to see, not Star Clan.
He's Black Star. He's strong, he's going to transcend God one day. He makes his own path.
He's more than Star Clan's legacy.
A/N: Hopefully this isn't too OOC. I've never really had a good grip on writing Black Star; Kid and Soul are so much easier to understand, OCD and kind-of-fanatical loyalty and all. Any and all feedback on the characterization would be greatly appreciated; that's always what I've struggled with most.
So, does anyone else feel like that fight in episode 38 gives off serious Deathstar feels? Or is it just me? This was supposed to be all about Star Clan and Black Star, but somehow some Deathstar slipped in there, haha. It's more background then anything. They're just really good friends at this point, I think.
As always, please review and let me know what you think!
~ Silver Snowblossom