Notes: So this is my Love for OQ gift, and it's written especially for lau_p_g. It was supposed to be a one shot but somehow the whole thing got out of control so here's this, the first three chapters. To Laura: I hope you like it and thanks for being so nice and patient answering all my questions to make this happen.

About the story: This takes place right after the missing year and the plot is basically the same but with a little twist. Okay maybe it's not so little as it will change most of what will happen from the moment they land back on Storybrooke on. I don't want to ruin it for you so here's what I can tell: Things happened back at The Enchanted Forest, they just don't exactly know what (the part with their missing memories is the same) but it's there, clear as day. It's kind like the butterfly effect, one small change will change everything so eyes open. Hope you enjoy!

INTRO

Confusion…

That was exactly what Regina Mills could perceive all around her; the feeling tainting everything, consuming it all… growing with each passing second until it was a heavy burden upon everyone's shoulders.

She could feel it too, even if she didn't let it show. She could feel how dense it was, how it was thick enough to stun you… to choke you as it consumed you whole.

It was actually an awful thing, to drown in the darkness, and she didn't know if it was the same for everyone else, but to her the inability to understand how she lost a whole year worth of memories plus the emptiness in her soul after losing Henry was overwhelming enough to make her feel dizzy and perhaps a little drained.

It was all annoyingly weighing heavy on her, almost as if things transcended from just being an inexplicable mental blockade to give way to a serious physical problem.

It was not just in her mind and soul now, but it was also in her body… in the lightness of her head and the turmoil in her stomach.

Now, taking in consideration the energy everyone was putting in arguing, pointing fingers and running around in circles, not many people were taking it as bad as her.

Actually, everyone else was too lively and energetic to be feeling as bad as she felt so it was probably just her the one feeling like the whole thing was physically taking a toll on her.

It was no surprise though; she was grieving… she was the only one in that room who was dealing with having everything she cared for taken away. It was just not her memories or a year of her life… no, it was her entire soul that she just lost and she was plain and simple not taking it well.

It was as if she was drowning in her own sorrow and because of that, she hasn't exactly been taking care of herself and that wasn't helping the situation.

She wasn't eating as healthily as she should, she wasn't sleeping enough and yes, all of that was contributing immensely in how off she was feeling in that moment.

Not only was she confused and brokenhearted, but she was also feeling weak, almost sick.

But what could she say? She missed Henry too much so she didn't have it in herself to care about much, let alone her own well-being…

"They are going to riot if we don't give them some answers." David hissed somewhere nearby and if she would be feeling any better, Regina would have groaned in exasperation.

True, she could see that in their desperation to understand what was happening, the people crowding the City Hall were a step away from submitting to chaos; but what did the Charming fool want them to say when they themselves had no idea about what was going on?

They had the same questions Storybrooke's resident had, and just the same amount of answers.

"I know; they are scared and confused so we need to give them something to make them ease their minds. What do you think we should do here, Regina?"

For once, the former Queen just sat in silence, her eyes scrunching tight shut and her fingers brushing lightly over her temples. She was suddenly feeling even more queasy than before and in her intentions of holding onto the need wretch, Snow's question went right through her.

"Regina?"

Taking in a deep-steady breath in hopes the exercise would help her hold her breakfast inside her stomach instead of letting it go up her throat in front of everybody and their mothers, her chocolate brown eyes opened slowly.

She felt weak, even shaky, but at least her stomach was holding up.

"Regina?" Snow said again, this time a little louder.

The Queen gave no response though, she just hummed, the cold sweat running down her spine making her feel uncomfortable.

"What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know… she just… Regina, are you listening to me?"

Taking notice that breathing in and then slowly out helped the need to throw up settle down, Regina did it a few more times and it worked, but that she started to feel better didn't take from the fact that she was no less annoyed by the younger woman's insistence.

"Regina-"

"What?" She tried to voice the word with a little impetus, to make her tone rage, but reality had a way to cheapen things and instead, the question came weak and pathetic. She hated it.

Turning completely in Regina's direction, Snow White narrowed her eyes as she inspected the other woman. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine." She hissed almost angrily because she would never let it slip pass her lips that no, that she was not alright. Not only because she missed Henry with every fiber of her being or because her mind was confused about what was really going on, but also because she felt a step away from fainting

Now, this thing of feeling ill has been happening to her ever since she woke up to a new curse three days ago, with the world spinning all around her and the memory of having to give up on the thing she loved the most, her son, falling heavy on her heart; but as of yet she hasn't gotten used to it.

"You don't look fine-" Before her stepdaughter could go on, someone from the crowd called for everyone's attention and in a matter of nothing, all eyes were on the man as he pointed an accusatory finger directly at her.

"You all want to know what I think? I Think this mess is all on the Queen's hands. I mean it's not like she has never done this before so why aren't we questioning her?"

"Leroy, we talked about this. Regina is as lost as we all are here." Snow was the one to respond, a forced smile in her face and her sickeningly sweet voice carrying the repeated message through the crowd.

"So she says, but she could very well be lying. Or what, are going to believe everything The Evil Queen says now?"

More than a few voices agreed with the dwarf and resuming the rukus, everyone went back to talking at once.

Snarling her lips, Regina shook her head, her eyes scanning all around. It was as she did it that saw them all for what they were; a tempestuous sea of detractors judging her, with their snarling faces trying to blame what was happening to her.

They knew nothing… the bunch of idiots didn't even understand how a curse was casted or else they would know that without Henry, she had nothing else to sacrifice in order to create or even cast a new one.

She may not remember what happened during the missing year, but she was sure it hasn't been her the one who made them go back to Storybrooke.

Not like she was going to explain it all over again. To hell with what they believed. They didn't matter, none of them did and that she was sitting there while they kept accusing her was something she didn't need to do.

She had enough in her plate as it was to keep adding to her burden so she was going to go.

"How do we even know it's a curse? What if she froze us in time or put us all in a sleeping spell we just woke up from?"

Unable to stop herself from reacting to such ridiculous question, Regina spoke up and she was glad her voice came out strong and steady to answer it.

"If I ever put you in a sleeping curse, dwarf, it would have been an eternal one. Would save me from listening to all that nonsense you're spewing from your snout."

Guffawing, Grumpy's face lit up as if he just solved the big mystery. "So you are agreeing with this, you are saying you wouldn't hesitate in putting us all under a sleeping curse. See, did everyone hear her confess to this?"

Gathering all her strength, Regina stood from the chair. She did it slowly, apparently with all the grace and poise of someone of her lineage. But the truth was she did it that way to prevent herself from falling face first into the crowd.

It could have happened, because yeah, her will not to embarrass herself was strong, but her legs felt as if they were made out of rubber and her head was spinning. That was how bad she was having it.

Cussing under her breath, the dark-haired woman wondered if it was her blood sugar that came down. It could be, as she just nibbled on a piece of toast that morning and nothing else.

It was a little past noon now, so yeah… this was definitely her sugar. Still, even though she felt way off, she stood her ground and stared daggers at the dwarf.

"If this was a sleeping curse, people would have only woken up when the curse was broken and our memories would have returned so try again, Frodo. As for being frozen in time…" She stopped there, scoffing humorlessly as she pointed at Mary Margaret's pregnant form. "Have you seen Snow White? Does it looks like she was frozen?"

The small man's face contorted in all forms, his eyes returning her heated glance. "Fine, maybe it wasn't a sleeping curse, but that doesn't mean I trust you. I know you're up to something so I'll be watching until I find out what is it, sister."

"Do whatever you want to do, that's your problem, not mine."

With that said, the woman known as Regina Mills and yes, sometimes as The Evil Queen lifted her chin up and walked away, forcing one foot in front of the other, the clicking sound of her heels against the marble floor getting swallowed by the tumult of voices she was leaving behind.

She simply had enough of everyone back there talking about things they did not know so her goal was going home, eat something that would level her blood sugar, lay down and then wallow in her grief… let The Charmings deal with their people.

But such plan was far from happening as she was so dizzy that she could feel her entire being trembling and her head swimming. She even stumbled on her own two feet and that's when she knew she probably wasn't going to make it into her house as easily as she would have liked.

"Come on, just make it outside." She hissed to herself once she was by the hallway that lead to the exit door, hoping to have enough time not to get sick where anyone could see her.

The pleading was in vain though, because she was suddenly feeling so much worse than before… her entire world was spinning in front of her eyes and her vision getting blurry.

"Are you alright?"

At the sound of the strange voice approaching her, Regina tried to will herself to keep walking, to not crumble in a heap down the floor.

But as much as she tried to keep going and hold onto it, she felt it coming… her legs failed her and she knew she was going down.

She even brazed herself for the impact, brows furrowing and jaw clenching; but before her legs completely gave up, she was grabbed firmly, two strong hands holding her by the elbows.

"Milady…"

Feeling like she needed to yank her arms away and snap at whoever dared putting his hands on her, Regina lifted her face up. Her intention was to snarl her lips and ask to be left alone…

She was unable to utter a word though, because with the muffled sound of Snow White calling her name and a pair of deep blue eyes digging deep into her own stare, her entire weight crumbled against the solid frame holding her up and she finally passed out...

Everything that happened after that was a fuss, a mumble of images and strange interactions that created even more confusion in her.

It wasn't until much later that she got to feel more like herself. Yes, she was still lacking her usual strength, but at least the lightness in her head was completely gone.

Her limbs also stopped trembling and she no longer felt like throwing up, but she guessed all that was because by then she has been treated in a hospital, an IV inserted in her arm and her stomach filled with warm soup.

That helped… sure, but now her mood was so sour that she couldn't even stand herself.

What could she say? She just couldn't believe she agreed to Snow taking her to a damn hospital when all she has needed was to go home; and she also couldn't believe the woman was still sitting by her side, her big doe eyes trying to search for hers as she lectured her about all the reasons why she needed to take better care of herself.

It all came down to the, Henry would hate seeing you in a hospital, and Henry would have wanted you to try and solve the missing year mystery thing, and well, she was tired of hearing it.

"Do we really need to do this now?" She asked after a while, her eyes still focused on the panorama displaying outside the window.

"Talk? Well yes, Regina. Because for the last three days you've been doing nothing other than evading everyone and locking yourself in your house and look at how that ended. You fainted…"

"I'm fine." She snapped back, cringing internally at the way she indeed fainted like some freaking amateur.

She could have magically transported, she could have made it into her office on her own but no… she just fainted like a damsel in distress and to make it even worse, in the arms of a stranger.

It was simply mortifying, and even though her interaction with the stranger has been short, she was still a little shaken by it…

"You are not fine and it's okay not to be. You miss Henry, I get it…"

Going back to the problem at hand instead of thinking of those blue eyes and their imprudent owner, Regina scoffed. "No you don't get it." In fact no one did; no one understood the emptiness she felt at each hour of the day knowing she was never going to see her son again.

It was eating her inside out, her grief… the pain, and nothing was ever going to make it better. Not while her heart still beat inside her chest.

Sighing way too loudly for Regina's rotten mood, Snow leaned forward, probably trying to catch her stepmother's attention. "I do know. I lost Emma too."

Allowing a dry chuckle to escape her, Regina's lip curled as she pointed to Mary Margaret's obvious pregnancy. "And look how quickly you found a replacement child so no, don't tell me it's the same."

At her words, Snow's posture straightened up and Regina could just imagine her pretty face falling. Yes, it was a low blow, but she couldn't find it in herself to feel sorry because yes, Snow lost Emma, but she had David and this new baby she was going to give birth very soon while she had no one. Nothing, so no… she couldn't sit there and tell Regina it was the same.

"That's not fair and you know it, Regina."

"Fair…" She repeated the word, letting her tongue savor it. "Nothing in this life is fair." At least not for her.

"Henry wouldn't like you thinking like that. He would have-"

"That's enough!" Feeling her temper flaring, Regina shout out, interrupting Snow White before she could even finish her sentence. "Henry is not here. So whatever he may want or not is not important because he's not here and I don't need you to remind me of that every single minute of the day."

Much to her credit, Snow White looked abashed and Regina almost, almost felt sorry for snapping like that. But because she didn't want to let the feeling of regret swept through her on top of all the other things she already felt, she reached for the IV and yanked it out of her.

It hurt and it bleed, enough to make her eyes water and her jaw clench hard but it grounded her, especially with the feeling of her hand on fire.

"Regina-" Snow began to say all teary eyed and not wanting to listen to anything, the former Queen started to get up to her feet; her intention leaving the hospital for good.

"See? This is exactly why I would rather stay home; so that I don't have to deal with any of you."

Before Snow White could formulate a response to that, the door to the hospital room busted open and inside came Dr. Whale, a clipboard in hand as he eyed from one woman to the other.

"Regina… Mary Margaret."

"Victor." Snow said as she averted her eyes and tried to act as if the man being there wasn't awkward, then she started to inspect her nails.

"I'm leaving." Regina announced with a roll of her eyes, and by the way the man contemptuously looked at her bleeding hand, she guessed he already knew.

"Alright. There's no need to keep you here much longer anyway; although I would have that checked if I were you."

"It's fine." Lifting her hand, she hissed, even if she internally thought it was too much blood now.

Damn it, she should have taken the IV a little more carefully… because the paper towel Mary Margaret handed over was apparently not enough to stop the flow of blood.

Arching an eyebrow, Dr. Whale sighed. He knew better than to argue with her so he went on. "I have your results."

"Is everything alright with her?" Snow nosed in and once again, Regina rolled her eyes.

"Of course I'm fine. I just… I may have skipped a meal or two so my blood sugar was a little low."

"Well, your glucose was a little low, thing that you should definitely monitor now as a matter of fact. But that was not all we found."

Slipping on her shoes and pressing hard over her injured hand, Regina arched an eyebrow, her lips twisting a little in wonder. "What do you mean it was not all?"

Whale cleared his throat, eyeing the papers in the clipboard once again. "Well… um, it seems, according to your lab results that you are pregnant."

Regina guffawed, she literally did, the sound contrasting immensely with her dark mood. It was definitely not a sound fit for a Queen and as it escaped her, her eyes narrowed.

"Pregnant?"

She heard Snow choke somewhere in the background as her question bounced all around them, but she paid her little to no attention at all.

"You're kidding, right?"

Clicking his tongue to the roof of his mouth, Dr. Whale shook his head no and once again she guffawed.

Sure, it was not funny, whatever joke the man wanted to play on her, but the absurdity of it all made her react like that.

"I don't know what you are trying to do here but it's not funny, so cut it."

"I am not trying to be funny, I'm just letting you know the results of your blood test. You are expecting a child and this is no joke of mine. You're pregnant, Regina."

"You are having a baby?" Snow almost squealed and when Regina leered at her, she saw the woman almost jumping in excitement, her hands covering her mouth and her eyes sparkling.

"Seems like it was a busy year for you two."

Blinking one time and then another, Regina looked back at Whale, her eyes trying to dig into his to see if he was lying because let's face it, he just had to be. But the thing was that she found no trace of deception in him or ill-intentions and she wasn't sure if that scared her even more or not.

But no… she couldn't be pregnant. She couldn't even bear children, and even if she did, she didn't have anyone…

"Want to have a sonogram now that you're here? I can do you both… in fact."

Instead of replying, Regina shut her eyes close and took a couple of steps back because no, no, no… this couldn't be… she couldn't be….

"Yes, please. Oh my God Regina."

As she tried to assimilate what she was just told, Snow White jumped in front of her and wrapped an arm around her neck, forcing her into an unwanted embrace.

"I can't believe this." As if remembering herself, the younger woman pushed away and then with a frown in her face, she snorted. "And the father?"

Opening her eyes wider, Regina shook her head. It was all she could do. She was lost, in complete disbelief…

The last memory she had before the curse swallowed them all was seeing Henry off with Emma, so this thing about her being pregnant made no sense at all. First, because she couldn't see herself willingly having sex with anyone in that damn town, especially if she has been grieving, and second… well she was barren. She has made sure of that long ago.

"Oh, Regina…"

Apparently seeing the whole picture now, Snow sighed and then, she mumbled something about how everything was going to be fine, that she shouldn't worry because according to all the nonsense she was mumbling, she was going to help her find the supposedly father of her baby, and as she said that, all Regina could do was wonder what the hell happened during the missing year…

TBC