Author's Note: [April 07, 2020] Thanks so much for taking the time to read- Candide Avedo is still around, just having to prioritize differently these days. Writing for fun has taken a back seat. I assure you though, writing has always been in my thoughts.

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Disclaimer: I, Candide Avedo do not own anything that has to do with Full Metal Alchemist.

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Thanks Havoc

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There was no excuse. He needed to confront his subordinate for his insubordination. As puzzling as that was, Roy Mustang could not allow Jean Havoc to behave in such a manner.

Roy had only ever recalled Jean acting the way he did this morning once before. Eventually Havoc returned later that morning and even picked up a lunch from the staff cafeteria. The only main difference was that Jean Havoc was refusing to meet his eyes, let alone acknowledging his presence. He'd had a renewed focus into his task, even vigorously scribbling onto his notes every now and then.

"Jean Havoc, I need a word with you." Roy said bluntly, giving Havoc no choice to excuse himself from the situation. The frightened, scarred look on Havoc's face was starting to worry him. What had traumatized Jean Havoc into uneasiness and become a skittish creature?

Jean said nothing, nodding mutely. He deposited his empty food tray and followed Roy into the nearest room where they'd kept files in the long-term storage.

Roy took his time making a show of closing and locking the door. How would the topic be broached? It wasn't like he was worried for Jean's sanity, was he?

"Havoc. You probably have some slight idea as to why I want to have a word." He began slowly. Roy received a small glint of recollection from the man in front of him. "I don't want to cause any misunderstanding, but I'd hoped to address your concerns and correct any offense I'd caused this morning."

Havoc stared at him longer, letting the silence permeate the air. However was he going to interpret that? The usually-loud and confident man was shaken to his very core. He resisted to ask: What happened to you?

Sincerely he'd like to help Havoc, whatever it was really had cause such an inner turmoil.

Still with no response, Roy resisted the urge to take Havoc into a headlock and demand answers. "I promise you, I'll listen as a concerned colleague, and there'd be no repercussions; everything will be confidential. We are a team, and we need to ensure our success and function as smoothly as possible."

Havoc's mouth twitched. Then, as if a dam was splitting open- "I-heard-I-I-HEARD." He sputtered out, waving his hands in the air furiously.

Roy furrowed his brows. "So whatever you heard affected you so, what was it?" There was no way he'd be keeping secrets, nothing that Havoc could overhear that was confidential nor would affect him in any way. "Please be more direct, Havoc."

"I HEARD YOU LAST NIGHT. You and the Lieutenant." Havoc hissed, through gritted teeth. "You TWO were against the wall. BUMPING against the wall."

"…Yes we were, there's nothing wrong with making noise."

Havoc pulled himself away further. "COLONEL," his voice raised an octave higher, "You and the Lieutenant can't be HAVING SEX in the OFFICE."

-silence-

Wh-what?

"Ex-excuse ME?" choked Roy, taken aback. "We were WHAT?"

"You two were having weird, animalistic sex in the office!" hissed Havoc, pointing a finger accusingly at Roy, who raised his hands in the air, forgetting for the briefest moment who the superior officer was. "You had the Lieutenant gasping for breath, making her work, you two even CHANGED POSITIONS. She even said she couldn't leave you without helping you with your PROBLEM." Havoc now donned a wild look in his eyes. "You'd apologized for hurting her, and you were (slight gasp) RUSHING!"

Stunned, Roy didn't know whether to laugh or scold Havoc for eavesdropping. "Wait Havoc, wait." He'd interrupted, before Havoc could lose oxygen. "You've got it all mixed up. The Lieutenant and I were merely moving a cabinet against the wall. Honest." He added, watching Havoc make an 'o' with his mouth.

Shaking his head in disapproval, Roy sighed. "Look, I didn't realize it sounded the way it did, but that's what it was. WE. WERE. MOVING. CABINETS. That is all."

Havoc nodded, suddenly looking his normal self. "That's a relief…" suddenly he looked sheepish. "I reckoned you two have… you know… that kind of vibe sometimes. You never know." He self-consciously rubbed his chin. "So, uh… Seriously, right? Nothing weird happened?"

"Listen, now that I know you have some weird fantasies in your perverted head of yours Havoc, let me make this clear." Roy paused for effect. "The Lieutenant and I are NOT in that type of relationship. We are purely professional. I appreciate your honesty in this matter, as ridiculous as that idea is."

Without another word, Roy opened the storage room door and ushered Havoc out, locking the door behind the man and staying behind to recollect his thoughts.

Him and Riza? Animalistic sex in the office? Roy couldn't imagine that their actions and words could have been easily misconstrued by a clueless third party. He couldn't figure out why Riza's heavy breathing, gasping, mixed with his own strained grunts and-

Roy shook his head. Havoc was completely wrong. There was nothing about the Lieutenant that could affect him at all.

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That Havoc. That perverted jerk. Everything turns him on, that giant sperm-head.

Roy repeated the mantra desperately in his mind, refusing to listen to his innermost monologue: Yes, but so are you. He shook his head vigorously, earning a glance from the Lieutenant, who'd been studying him from beyond her own desk.

Her eyes met his for an instant.

As though caught in the act and feeling electricity shaking his nerves, Roy stared back at his paper quickly. Really, she shouldn't be knowing what he was thinking. Talented she may be, Riza Hawkeye never learned how to read minds.

Those same eyes that would always be rapt in attention, always challenging him. She loved telling him what to do. Coupled with her lips that would gasp his name as he made sure to memorize every bit of her body with his mouth-he'd have her beggin-

NO. NO. no no no. He got this. Havoc doesn't control what enters his mind. Roy Mustang is above this.

Riza rose up from her seat, not realizing she'd picked up more than one folder, sending all contents to the floor. She huffed in exasperation, squatting down to the floor to pick up the mess.

The faint silhouette of leg muscles peeking through the standard-issue military uniform caught his ever-so-attentive eyes. Perhaps those thick, toned, thighs were better utilized for grasping his waist in a vice-like grip, getting tighter and tighter as their bodies reached the precipice of-

Havoc is going to pay for this. Roy growled low in his throat. How long has it been since he'd been on a date?

"Excuse me, sir." Her soft voice pierced his lust-driven thoughts. A gentle pressure on his shoulder made him jump. "Aren't you a little skittish today." she chuckled, pulling away.

Roy gaped at her blankly, as his mind immediately preferred her hands to rest behind his neck as she nibbled and laughed huskily into his ear. Riza wouldn't have to say anymore before he'd pull her over his lap and show Riza who the boss truly was. It took him a moment realize he hadn't answered this ever-so attractive woman. Riza was a woman truly, yet he hadn't taken the chance to really look at her. "Riza, I hadn't really been feeling myself lately." he responded clumsily, unable to provide any other explanation without causing the Hawk's Eye to live up to her name.

Hawkeye raised a delicate eyebrow. "Riza?" She chuckled again, sending goosebumps up Roy's spine. "You must be unwell." A pause, her eyes staring at Roy's uptight and uncomfortable form. Her gaze was starting to make his pants uncomfortable. "Should there be an issue or an emergency, we need you in top form. Is there anything I can do to help?"

How about you get your form on top of mine to start? "Not that I can think of, Lieutenant. I appreciate the offer." The concern did cause him some guilt, as though he didn't get enough of that dealing with Havoc earlier this morning already. Lowering his voice, he added, "I've been feeling lonely lately Lieutenant, and I'd rather you didn't repeat that to anyone else."

Following his discretion, Riza nodded in encouragement. "I understand sir, you've been working rather hard as of late, with nothing to distract you. You've obviously not been dating."

A-ha-ha-ha... "I may feel like I've been falling out of practice lately." Roy offered as a joke. "It's especially difficult on the weekends being alone with no company, but I really appreciate your concern and attentiveness."

Riza had looked absolutely delighted at his misery. "That's perfect!"

"Perfect?"

"You sir, are available this weekend? I am available this weekend!" She whispered, anticipation (unless he ws mistaken) palpable in her voice. "Oh-well," she was suddenly embarrassed, catching herself unguarded.

"What do you mean, Lieutenant?" Roy asked slowly, choosing his words carefully.

Riza flushed a light pink, betraying her usual demeanor. "You see sir, I've been meaning to ask... If you were free one of these weekends." Roy couldn't resist leaning forward in interest. "If Saturday could work..."

Was she really asking me out? I mean... It's out of character for the Lieutenant, was this a crude joke? Riza had never had this much trouble getting words out before. "Saturday could work." He replied, a little uneasy. A little worried even, that she'd seen through his heated thoughts. "If you want to see how this could work out, we should take it slow."

The Lieutenant nodded firmly. "Yes sir, I was thinking, we could take a stroll, before going back to your quarters. Get to know each other better."

MY QUARTERS? "My quarters?" he repeated.

"Y-yes sir, just to see how things could progress." Riza whispered reassuringly. Uncharacteristically biting her lip, she waited. "Even if it rains the whole time, I can think of a lot of things we can do to pass the time."

I'd rather bite that lip for you... "Of course Lieutenant. We'll see how we get along." There's no doubt that there's going to be plenty of time to get to know you better too. Would you let me near you enough to smell your skin?

"I was adequate aid for your previous 'problem', I am positive I can help you with this as well."

Havoc, you might be onto something.

Havoc's 'animalistic sex' adjective was set in his mind. The Lieutenant had a few dates in the past, they'd all known full-well that she would be very private about her personal life, only ever revealing little glimpses of it should she choose. For all he knew, Riza Hawkeye was a beast under the sheets, her accuracy an asset in the bedroom as well as in the line of duty.

"-we can use the couch, but the bed would be best." Riza finished, as Roy was lost in his thoughts.

"What?"

"Oh my apologies sir, I'll let you finish your work." Riza replied hurriedly, juggling the folders that were threatening to fall from her arms.

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Saturday could not come any sooner. Roy Mustang had never been so meticulous in cleaning his apartment before. Riza had left on Friday with a firm nod in his direction. They had agreed on meeting at his quarters a little after lunch time, to enjoy some of the sun promised that day before an endless rain shower to last until the following week. She'd avoided his beckons for a private word, and Roy understood. He didn't want anyone in the office (particularly Havoc) to have any suspicions.

He'd worn loose black slacks with a grey dress shirt-nothing fancy. Although the colour would not be the best choice, but he'd had no time to change.

She would be here any minute. To set the mood, Roy had positioned a bottle of chardonnay on his coffee table beside two wine glasses. A fluffy, white coverlet draped over his sofa. Nothing that would indicate that his expectations from his subordinate would be higher than she was prepared to offer.

Roy would be a liar if he said he wasn't nervous.

A knock on the door, and Roy grasped the doorknob tightly in his fist, wrenching the door open.

Riza stood, wide-eyed, looking feminine in her favourite long dress.

"Oh"

Beside her, Black Hayate's tail wagged excitedly. Riza's next words were the final nail in the proverbial coffin.

"Aren't you overly dressed for your companion this weekend."

Oh yes, he should have known. Thanks Havoc.

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Author's Note: Apologies, I'm sure you probably all guessed the ending! But Roy is a little clueless sometimes, PLUS! How could he pass up a chance to spend time with his Lieutenant, hmm?

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Hope you enjoyed some amusement from this quarantine in the form of this ficlet! Please stay safe everybody!

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C.A.[April 07, 2020]