Disclaimer: I don't own Y&R sadly

Just a one shot on Amanda/Billy/Victoria…the kind of triangle I want to see ;)

Enjoy.

Amanda drove through the gates along a winding path to the courtyard of a beautiful large manor which reeked of money and class. She was in awe and the elegance of it all made her look at her outfit again to see if she could match the elegance.
Getting out of the car, she walked to the door, heart beating fast, palms sweaty and clammy. Why did she think this was a good idea in the first place?
With all the guilt she felt for Victoria being stabbed, she had realised the only way to ease it would be to talk to Victoria herself. Knowing she couldn't just call her, she probably wouldn't even answer the phone, Amanda decided to go with a different route. She had taken Nicky's number from Billy's phone and asked the older woman to speak to her daughter. She was surprised when she agreed. Now here she was.
Taking a deep breath, she rang the doorbell and waited.

The door opened and there stood Nicky Newman, looking as elegant as ever in a pale pink dress complete with the jewellery.
"Amanda, hello."

"Hi Mrs. Newman. Thank you for allowing me to come here."

"I only did that because I think it is beneficial to my daughter's healing. Make no mistake, this is not forgiveness for what happened to her."

"I understand." said Amanda not expecting less.

Nicky looked at her for a moment and then said, "Follow me." She said before leading her past the beautiful lounge area to a room which seemed to be all glass, made of cream furniture. "I will leave you to it." Said Nicky before she turned around and left. Amanda had a feeling Victoria didn't know she was coming and that made her more nervous.
Victoria appeared to be in deep thought and hadn't noticed them so she took the time to look at her. She looked well, as well as she can be, dressed in sweatpants and a cashmere sweater, her hair in a ponytail. Then she turned around and they looked at each other.

Victoria was stunned to see Amanda standing there, in her family home. "What the hell are you doing here?" she demanded.

"I came to see you." said Amanda with a calmness she didn't feel. She walked and sat on the other couch facing Victoria.

"You have some nerve."

"Victoria…"

"Who even let you? Did you sneak in like you did at the gala?" she asked her eyes narrowed.

"Your mother let me in." explained Amanda. She had expected the coldness from Victoria. After all the last time they talked, it didn't go so well.

"My mother?" said Victoria surprised then chuckled humourlessly. "Of course she would." Victoria said rolling her eyes. Of course her mother would think talking to Amanda would help her 'heal' psychologically. She would have to have a stern talk to her mother about it.

"I know I am the last person you want to see right now…" started Amanda.

"And yet you are here." Victoria snapped. She was tired, in pain and not in the mood.

"I just want to apologize."

"Apologize." said Victoria incredulous. "For what? For taking Billy away from me and the kids? Or for dragging me in between and getting me stabbed by your crazy ex?" She watched as hurt passed through Amanda's pretty face and it felt good, if only for a moment.

"I am not with Billy Victoria." Said Amanda with a sigh knowing Victoria wasn't going to believe it anyway. "And Ripley…I didn't know he would do that. I swear. I…He never showed any violence before. You have no idea how much I wish it was me he had stabbed and not you."

"And yet here I am, suffering because of you." stated Victoria. "What were you even doing at the gala in the first place? I don't remember your name on the invitations."

"I came to talk Billy out of staying at the gala. He didn't seem himself and I didn't want him to cause a scene."

"Of course you did. It's always about Billy isn't it?"

"I was just trying to look out for a friend."

"Still insisting you are friends?"

"We are friends Victoria. Nothing more." said Amanda though her mind went straight to the kiss they had shared. Yes they had decided to be friends but the fact remained that they had kissed.

"It doesn't look that way to me and neither did it to Ripley or he wouldn't have come after you." Victoria pointed out. "I get why Billy is interested really. You are a beautiful woman, driven, professional…just how he likes his women. Like I told you, be careful. He might seem charming but he will hurt you in the end." Amanda made to respond but Victoria said, "You have said your peace. Now please leave."

Amanda made to stand up and just then, 2 kids ran in. they were beautiful kids and Amanda could only stare at them. The little boy had blonde hair, brown eyes and a smile he seemed to share with his father. The little girl was adorable in a pink dress, hair in pigtails and it looked like they had been outside as they held fresh flowers, obviously a gift for their mother.
The 2 kids faltered at seeing a stranger with their mom and neither she nor Victoria knew how to progress. Introduce or not? Little Johnny chose it for them when he said, "Hi." while his sister stood there watching.

"Hello." Said Amanda looking at both the little boy and girl and she was rewarded with a smile from both of them. She then turned to Victoria and said, "Thank you for listening. I got to go."

"Of course." Said Victoria with a nod. Amanda walked to the doorway then looked back and saw the kids hugging their mom making a perfect picture moment. At that moment, Victoria looked up and their eyes met for a while before Amanda broke the contact and walked out.

XXX

"The kids are out with my parents." said Victoria when she saw Billy walking toward her. It had been almost 3 days since Amanda had come to see her. She didn't really hate the woman…ok maybe a little simply because she held Billy's interest. It hurt a lot that he couldn't come to her with his problems. That he felt 'understood' by Amanda after all they had been through and as if that was not enough, she had to be stabbed…again caught in the crossfire of Billy's shenanigans.

"I know. That's why I am here." Said Billy referring to Nicky and Victor who would otherwise block him from entering. "At least I can see you." said Billy sitting down next to her then stared out at the garden. It was still chilly but today was a really warm day and the sun always made things brighter. He turned Victoria and was glad to see there was colour on her cheeks and she looked much better.

"If you are here to talk to me about what I said to Amanda I am not going to apologize for it." stated Victoria.

"What?" asked Billy puzzled. Amanda and Victoria had talked? "I don't know what you are talking about."

Victoria stared at him, surprised. "You don't know that she came here to apologize? I thought you told each other everything?" she said almost taunting. She didn't wait for him to respond before she asked, "Why are you here Billy?"

"I came to see how you were doing."

"Because you suddenly care?"
"I care about you Victoria. You know that. It doesn't matter what is going on between us. I don't want to see you hurting."

Victoria was silent then said, "I am surprised your girlfriend let you out of her sight."

"Can we not do this now?" Billy sighed. He didn't want interrogations and he wasn't willing to discuss the nature of his and Amanda's relationship with anyone.

"So you don't deny she is your girlfriend." Sad Victoria looking at Billy. She wasn't sure why she cared. She had declared to him that it was over between them yet here she was questioning him.

"I am not here to talk about that ok? I am just here to see you."

Victoria sighed. "Fine."

"So how are you feeling?"

"Sore, tired, frustrated. I just want to be better already."

"I can imagine. You never were one to lie around doing nothing." Said Billy with a smile and she smiled back before she looked down. "The kids miss you."

"I miss them too."

Victoria felt guilty about that. "I am sorry."

"You were angry at me. I get that."

"That doesn't excuse. I shouldn't keep you from seeing the kids. I will talk to my parents to allow you in."

"Thank you." said Billy. Soon they found themselves talking and sharing laughs. It felt good to be able to talk to each other like they used to. Of course things would never be the same between them. Some things were too broken to mend. At least they could be friends through it all. For their kids and for each other.

"Well, I better go before the grandparents make their appearance."

"You can stay. I will explain to them." said Victoria. She didn't want him to leave. Being close to him, laughing with him it felt so good, like old times. It gave her hope that maybe things could be repaired between them.

"I think it's best you talk to them first."

"You are probably right."

As Billy gets to leave Victoria said, "Thank you for coming Billy."

"Of course. Take care of yourself."

XXX

Amanda was sitting on her couch in her suite in black leggings and a grey tank top, the sound of the TV in the background as she read through a potential case from a client Devon had sent her way when there was a knock on her door.
Picking up her grey throw over cardigan, she padded her way to the door sighing, having an inkling who it might be. Sure enough, it was Billy grinning at her holding a bottle of wine and what looked to be …

"I brought us a movie to watch." He said handing her a disk.

Amanda looked at the title and laughed recalling the time she had told him her all-time favourite movie (insert your fav movie here) and he had stated he had never watched it before… "Why thank you."

"You are welcome." Said Billy taking her in. Her hair was let down, her hair curly and her face was fresh and bare from any make up. She looked gorgeous.

"So…How was your day?" asked Amanda."

"It was…surprising."

"Really? What do you mean?"

"I found out a number of things today. First, that you talked to Victoria." stated Billy waiting for an explanation.

"How do you know that?"

"She told me." Amanda frowned at that. "I went to the ranch to see her today."

"Victor and Nicky allowed you?" Amanda asked sceptical. Their hate for Billy was clear and vocal.

"They allowed you?" he shot the question back at her. He didn't think they would allow her in, the girl they thought was consorting with him and had hurt their daughter.

"Nicky allowed it. She thought it would be good for Victoria if we talked.

Billy nodded. He could understand that. "They weren't there. They took the kids out for the day so I took a chance." Amanda nodded in understanding. "So you went to see her?"

"Yes I did. I needed to apologize to her for what happened."

"And?" he urged her to go on.

"What do you think?" said Amanda with a sigh and began pacing. "I don't blame her. Here I am, the woman who stole her boyfriend and caused her to be stabbed. She hates me obviously."

"None of what you said is your fault. You know that." Billy said imploring her to listen.

Amanda looked at him, pain in her eyes. "It doesn't matter Billy. The truth is that I led Ripley into that party and he almost killed her."

"Amanda…" said Billy walking to her. It hurt him to hear her blame herself like that for something Ripley did. She was the one who had been terrorized and stalked by this guy and yet Victoria and others seemed to think she was the one at fault.

"No." she said shaking her head. "I told you this was a bad idea. We shouldn't have let this go on for as far as it did."

"This? Our friendship?"

"Except it's not just a friendship is it?" she said pointedly.

"No it's not." They stared at each other each thinking back to the kiss they had shared right on the couch and truthfully, things had been changing long before then. "It's more than that. It has been for some time now." Said Billy standing just shy of her personal space.

"Billy…"

"I am just admitting the truth of what we have both been feeling. There is a lot more than just friendship between us and it's about time we acknowledge."

"We can't. We are not doing this. Yes we kissed but that was it. We agreed to be friends."

"Well I don't want us to be just friends Amanda. I have feelings for you and I want more."

Amanda shook her head. She didn't want to hear this. She didn't want to have this talk especially after talking to Victoria. "You don't Billy. You think you do but you don't. Whatever it is you are feeling, it's fleeting. It's going to pass ok?"

"You are wrong."

"And how do you know that? You were in love with Victoria just a while ago and now you want to be with me. I don't buy it Billy. I am just a new girl you want to try out before you return back to her after all that's what you do…that's what you have always done and I will not be that girl."

"You are wrong." Saud Billy shaking his head.

"I am not wrong. You have been with Victoria for how many years? You have broken off so many times and each of those times, you tried to move on but you always came back to her! Always! How is this any different?" shouted Amanda desperately. No matter how she felt she couldn't fall for this again. She wouldn't be able to take the heartbreak when he inevitably went back to his partner.

"Because I love you Amanda!" Billy shouted back and there was a stunned silence as they stared at each other, the words sinking in.

Billy took her hand in his and looked into her eyes. She still looked stunned. He began to speak gently. "I will not go back to Victoria because I am in love with you Amanda. I know that because, I have been with other women before like you said but I have never felt the way I feel when I am with you. I feel alive. I am happy. I can be who I am without judgement. I can talk to you about anything and everything. I miss you when you are not with me and I look forward to the time I see you. I want to see your smile, I want to hear you laugh, I want to listen to you talk about your life, your interests, your hopes and dreams..."

Amanda was stunned into silence as she listened to him say all the words to her. She could tell he meant it. His eyes said it. The passion in his voice said it. The way his voice choked with emotion said it… He loved her. He was in love with her and if she could finally be honest with herself, she loved him too. The kiss had sealed her fate so to speak and she couldn't go back to just being his friend. The only way was to move forward but she was scared of what that meant.

"I know you are weary about me and who can blame you? I have a history, a terrible history and I know you can't trust what I say but just give me a chance to prove to you, to show that I mean what I say."

"What about Victoria and the kids? How will the kids take it? And Victoria…she still loves you. I could tell from when we spoke."

"Victoria and I done. I am not going back to her whether I am with you or not. If she still loves me then there is nothing I can do about that. I am moving forward. As for the kids, I told you, there are smart kids. They have known that we, Victoria and I have not been happy for a while and they want us to be happy."

"And your family?"

"They will be happy that I am happy and you do make me happy."

"I don't know Billy. I love you. (Billy smiles at the admission) but it u=just feels wrong, like I am breaking up a family."

"You are not the other woman. You never were. I broke up with Victoria which means I am single. I even moved out and talked to the kids about it. If that doesn't mean we are done, I don't know what does."

"I know that but Victoria and others won't see it that way. The Newmans will not be happy about this." Amanda said biting her lower lip.

"That is their problem. Why should we care what others think about us? Shouldn't our happiness matter more? I would rather be happy with you than miserable with them."

"I am scared. I just don't want to get hurt." She said softly.

Billy placed his hand gently on her cheek and looked into her eyes. "I am scared too. The way I feel about you, it terrifies me but we can do it. Together we can face anything." He gently caressed her smooth skin on her cheek.

"Ok." Amanda relented not really having any other reason to deny them. She decided to just take a leap and see where this leads her.

"So we do this?" asked Billy wanting clarity.

"Yes. We do this."

Billy smiled and leaned down, kissing her gently. Amanda's hands raised around his neck resting on the nape of his neck playing with his silky thick hair. she sighed opening her mouth and their tongues met duelling as the kiss grew more passionate. Billy's hands were caressing her back, her waist, trailing up her ribcage causing her nerves to alight with a fire within.
Billy's lips moved from her lips to her neck giving them a chance to breath and he listened to her sexy sighs and moans before they returned to her lips in an even deeper passionate kiss, the toe curling, soul sucking kind of kiss. His hands took off the throw on she was wearing and his hands slipped under her tank top touching her smooth skin. Gently, he manoeuvred them toward the bed and then he broke the kiss and looked at her. Her beautiful eyes were open halfway, hazy and dark with passion, her lips bee stung, her skin flushed and she looked absolutely gorgeous. "I want you."

"Yes." Said Amanda pulling him down for a kiss. They kissed passionately losing themselves in each other, in the taste of each other.

He gently lowered her gently on the bed and said, "Are you sure?"

"Yes."
With that, no more words were said as they got lost in passion and want of each other and they made love.

"Wow." Said Amanda breathless.

"Yeah." Said Billy then he looked at her. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"It feels good to hear you say that." Said Billy

Amanda smiled. "I never thought I would ever say the words out loud. I was scared to."

"I am glad you took a chance on me. You have made me the happiest man."

"I am happy too." Said Amanda and they kissed gently just enjoying being together. "How are we going to do this?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are we going to announce it or what? How do we go about it?"

"Well, I am not going to hide if that's what you mean. I am going to take you out to dates, dance with you and kiss you (Amanda blushes) and then I will introduce you to my family. Victoria and her parents already think we are together so no point in stating it. Beside, this is about us not them. I will tell my kids when you meet them but that's it. They are the only ones who I owe any explanation as far as the Newmans are concerned."

Amanda nodded at that. "I met them."

"Johnny and Katie?"

"Yeah. When I went to see Victoria. They ran in when I was about to leave. They are beautiful kids."

"Thank you. They are wonderful. They will love you."

"I hope so." Said

"They will." Said Billy leaning down and kissing her. Soon they were making love again.

XXX

Amanda moaned as she took a sip of the amazing wine. It was really good which was to be expected in such a fine establishment. They were at …an exclusive restaurant, classy and quite expensive, very different from their previous dates this time celebrating their one month anniversary. Time moved fast when you were having fun that was true.
Being with Billy was really amazing. He was such a romantic, something that still took her by surprise. He was the flowers and chocolates, sweet romantic texts kind of guy and she liked it. She had never experienced it before.
For their first date, Billy had wowed her with a candle lit dinner in Chancellor Park, under the stars on the uncharacteristically warm night. He had made it even better with the music and they had danced under the night sky. It was amazing. The next date they had gone bowling because she had told him long back she had last done it long back and she missed it. It seems he remembered everything she said. She had to admit, in the month she had been with him, everything was amazing and she was falling even deeper for him.

"I am really jealous of that wine right now." said Billy and he watched as she laughed, eyes twinkling. She was really the most beautiful woman he had ever looked at and he had lived with a gorgeous woman. They were out on a date, their 3rd and she was looking amazing in a short, halter neck black dress, black heeled sandals and her hair was teased up. She wore little make up with a dark red lipstick. He felt so lucky to have her on his arm. Some people didn't approve at first like Phyllis and his mom but they were getting around it. His dad was still holding on the hope that he would go back to Victoria. He would give him time.

"Well it's really good wine." Teased Amanda with a wink.

Billy smiled and unable to resist, he gently pulled her to him and kissed her lightly. She seemed surprised at the action but happy none the less. It seems she was not used to spontaneous show of affection and he wondered what kind of people she had dated. After meeting Ripley, he could only guess. "So how do you feel going for a dance after this?"

"Great idea." She said and finishing her wine, they got up and left the restaurant. Since the club they wanted was close by, they decided to walk. He took her hand and they walked down the street. When they passed an ice-cream shop, Amanda pulled him in.

"Really babe? I thought we already had desert?" he commented earning himself a dirty look which made him laugh. He ended up caving and bought 2 cones. It turned out to be a great idea because it got him to see her lick it with her small tongue, his mind going to some really dirty thoughts. After their little detour they finally reached their destination and entered the packed club.

Victoria was sitting in a club just relaxing. She had been cleared by Nate and as soon as he did, she had put on her favourite dress for a night out. It felt so good to be able to go out again, on her own, after a month stuck at home with her parents. She sipped on some really good non-alcoholic drink and watched as some people danced on the already packed dance floor.

Her thoughts went back Billy like they did these past days. He had come to visit her 4 more times in the month following the first visit. They talked, laughed and they had a really good time together. She actually found herself not wanting him to leave. She knew she was falling back in the rabbit hole with him but she couldn't help it.

He seemed different, more at peace, happy and it made him seem younger, full of life. it had been a long time since she had seen him like that. He never said or told her what was going on with him always concentrating on her health and the kids but she was positive something had happened. Maybe it was his new job that was giving him purpose and drive. Either way, she was happy for him. That's all she wanted for him, to be happy. Now if only he could be happy with her and the kids.

As she was thinking, her eyes were suddenly drawn to the entry and she gasped when she saw them, Amanda and Billy, laughing about something as they walked in, hand in hand. It was clear from the way they were dressed that they were on a date and she felt a pang in her chest. so that's why he was so happy? They were together now? So much for all the protests of them being just friends! Her eyes followed them, glad that she was in a secluded table away from the entry.
She watched as they got to the dance floor and held each other intimately, Billy whispering something in her ear causing her to laugh. She could see his eyes sparkle. It was clear he was happy and it hurt…it hurt much more. Maybe it was the truth that she couldn't make him happy in all the time they had been together. Maybe it was because she had hoped they would get back together. Unable to take anymore, she rose and left the club dejected wishing she had stayed at home.

Poor Victoria. Hope you enjoy.

As usual, comments, suggestions are all welcome.

Till next time