"You are sixteen going on seventeen, [...]

Baby, you're on the brink"

Sound of the Music

Gosh, was I ever that gullible? I couldn't have been, right? I mean, I lived with my mom! Mrs Emily Gilmore in all her glory! I could NEVER let the ball drop or she would be severely disappointed in herself. Not in me, of course, because I can be excused due to hormones or teen angst or "have you heard what kids these days think it's music?!" in all manner of fashion I could appal their delicate senses.

(Because Christopher was also quite smart, you know. Never bragging like some of our adventures weren't his plans and playing the "but I was seduced by a temptress' desires" a little too well).

The coward. So pretty, 'tho, and involving... Damn you, Chris.

Anyway! That's exactly the point. I couldn't have been naïve, Christopher certainly wasn't, plus, between my father sneaking questions during polite dinner conversations and my mother there was never even a blip of a chance of me, myself, Lorelai Gilmore, to be a sweet innocent lady.

And then bam I did the impossible and raised Rory to be a tad cutesy rose colored lens girl.

Insert here the biggest facepalm emoji please, we can agree it is well deserved.

All my movie planning, TV shows, great music and sarcastic quips helped her quickeen her mind, for sure. But still my baby was deeply unprepared for Dean and the next stage of her life.

(Granted, if I wanted Rory to have the know-how on manipulation, what to do when someone shows interest in herself and how utterly mean the world is then she would know how to make her sarcasm hurt, use it like a weapon, be the same Lorelai I am. Which is ridiculous. I left home so that precise event never happened).

And I did good! I'm a proud mama bear with the smartest girl Star Hollows ever had and she's even gorgeous to boot! Oops, megalomania knocked me over a little there, down, world domination plans!

So! To recapitulate: Rory managed to be the purest of Gilmores, Dean is a city boy with dangerous dimples that would probably give her a car, effectively charming the feminine mystique the rightest way possible, and now here I am. Having a breakdown in the middle of my life becase I'm seeing myself in Rory in a way that was never that obvious.

She's a teen, has a boy that loves her and treats her well; she can study everything she wants, be anything she can dream of being! She's in one of those big cosmic cusps! By her own design and choice!

- Not to be overbearing over here, miss, but have you chosen if you want Harvard or Yale yet?

That's how I'm casual about life, see! I'm a chill mom that won't interfere unleess I see what a mess she's making or if she asks for my help, hopefully.

God, I need coffee. And maybe make some googly eyes at Luke. He's always so uncomfortable and precious that my days automatically get better the instant I step inside the diner.

Bad Lorelai! No making fun of the man that serves you coffee day to day! Even if he squirms deliciously when checking the daily outfits I'm wearing... Ha! Bad bad bad! Rory wouldn't do that. She doesn't even know I know what I'm doing.

Hell, I fooled the entire town into thinking I'm oblivious to Luke's crush and the fact that I torture him a bit (okay, a lot) but, nonetheless, be that as it may... in my legitimate defense: that's more on Luke than on me! He has that shy, helpful, small town charm and background of a real bonafide gentlmeman. Like a vaguely sexist modern day cowboy but with trucks and baseball hats instead of the usual deal.

And since the entire town probably thinks I'm a entitled, stupid, stubborn harlot... Why, I do say I play my part quite nicely, don't I?

But so does Dean. I see him being the cocky giant thrust into a small town when he probably owned his old high school. I see the way he set his sights on cute blue eyed Rory because she is pretty much the epitome of a gem to a jock god showing up unexpectedly in our routines.

I'm not even mad.

Except whe he tried too much when my daughter has "flirting" filed up next to "soap operas" and "scripted" and she never thought herself as a lead character.

(Probably my fault? NO! No?... she is my best friend and I include her in most everything I can because I want her jazzing up with me).

Boy oh boy wee're gonna have to have some words with Don Juan here!

Here we go!