Dear diary? eh? That sounds so lame… let me try again.

Yo! My name is Otani Atsushi, I'm in my last year of middle school and my Mom bought me this huge journal for my 15th birthday (it's like a month too early but I'm not complaining), I want to be a teacher when I'm older so I guess I'll start practicing now?

I've had trouble expressing myself since before I could remember… so maybe writing the first thing that pops into my head will help a bit. Heh we'll see.

Not much to say right now except I'm happy, I have a really cute girlfriend! Her name is Kanzaki Mayu and we've been together for just under two years (we've not kissed or anything yet, I'm way too self conscious to do something like that) so I'm looking forward to seeing where we end up later in life - it just sucks she isn't going to the same school as me, but I'll do my best to see her after the first graduation ceremony.

My best friend Naoko got into the same high school at the very least, so I won't be totally alone! And I still keep in touch with Yoshi from time to time; lately he's not been responding to my texts though.

I..I had my first kiss today! I was so nervous but it felt nice. We went to the park and I bought her some candy floss, tried to tell her it was on her cheek and we ended up kissing!

So I'm due to start high school in a few weeks, it's really scary but exciting at the same time! I'm just a little worried… Kanzaki has been acting kind of weird lately, I've been super busy with basketball practice and considering she's the manager you'd think we'd spend more time together, but honestly I feel kind of lonely.

I've noticed her spending more time with this really tall guy in class and I can't help but feel insecure. See the thing is I'm only 147cm tall...yeah.

I probably should have mentioned that.

I've been picked on and belittled (hah) most of my life for my height, I never even thought I'd get a girlfriend because who would want a boyfriend shorter than them? Kanzaki's different though, she never cared about my height, I just can't help but feel something's not right with us lately.

Anyway I have to go to bed early, I might just go around to Kanzaki's house and ask if everything is ok, I'm worried about her.

She broke up with me….

I went round to her house like the idiot I am and she told me she didn't feel the same way anymore! I'd just bought tickets for Umibouzos live concert for us too. But she turned them down and said she liked someone else.

It's because I'm too short isn't it. I always knew this would happen!

Anyway I'm going to bed, the concert is tomorrow and I've decided to just go by myself, seeing Umibouzo is the only thing that will help me right now.

Was it my fault she dumped me? Am I really no good because of my height….

Mimi my next door neighbour brought more milk today, she said it's the best brand straight from Hokkaido and that it will help me grow; I guess I'll give it a try but I'm not getting my hopes up. My Mom is 143cm and my Dad is short too so this might be a genetic thing.

I don't know what to think anymore, no matter what I do people never see me as a man... but I'm feeling a tiny tiny bit better about the break up, see I met this girl at the concert last night. Eh no not like that!

She was kind to me though, I never asked for her name (I probably should have) and I could barely see her face but she seemed fun. Only thing is she is kind of an idiot; I couldn't hear her properly so she raised her voice telling me to cheer up…. and Umibouzo heard! It was mortifying but it put a smile on my face.

I don't know why I'm rambling so much about this but the next thing I knew she was being dragged away by the crowd, she looked scared though so I reached out and pulled her up. One thing led to another and I ended up giving her my shoes because she lost one, I couldn't let a girl walk home without shoes could I? That would be so unmanly of me.

But I got the best birthday present I could've asked for and a strawberry milk sweet from her. I've not eaten it yet, I might keep it even though I'm not really the sentimental type.

Ugh! I just realized I gave her my best pair of shoes….maybe I'm the idiot?

Mom said she'll buy me some new ones with padded soles (gee thanks)

Why do I have to be so damn small! UGH.

Naoko and I saw Kanzaki today, I thought she was shopping alone and he dragged me over to her.

Anyway next thing I know the damn GIANT BABA (195cm tall by the way) comes out of nowhere and asks if she wants to go get lunch together! WHAT THE HELL! I feel so depressed right now.

Whatever.

I think I'm done with girls for the time being. I was already ashamed of myself before but now I don't think I want to feel that heartbreak ever again.

I was probably too forward with her.

The milk from Mimi is paying off! I grew another 7cm (yes without the padded shoes)! I nearly cried when Mom told me.

Off to see a scary movie with Naoko.

It's been awhile since I wrote in this. I guess about two weeks have gone by? I didn't mean to forget I've just been busy lately.

First off; I've not grown again since that 7cm spurt, Mom said I'll be lucky to hit 160cm by the time I finish highschool...

Mimi told me not to give up and she's making the milk deliveries daily.

So... little by little I'm getting over Kanzaki, just hanging out with Nakao and his girlfriend Nobu-chan are really helping me stay distracted.

I saw a girl that I thought was really cute, for just a second. But then I got closer to her and physically recoiled. I noticed that she is like 170cm tall! Like a damned giraffe! She opened her big mouth and said that she hopes there are no more short guys in her class! THE NERVE.

"Koizumi Risa" She said her name was, a little bit ironic eh? Anyway I immediately take back what I said about her, she's not cute at all!

And to make matters even worse we both sit next to each other in class! Our new homeroom teacher even called us All Hanshin Kyojin on the first day...so of course that caught on and everyone calls us it when we're in the same space. UGH.

It's not all bad I guess. She has a friend called Tanaka Chiharu. Compared to that totem pole she is mega mega cute but she sort of reminds me of Kanzaki

Ahhh Chiharu-chan is so cute! But I've noticed she never really speaks to anyone but Nobu-chan and that giant idiot.

Speaking of that giant idiot, she is EVERYWHERE. I'm constantly bumping into her, she's really good friends with Nobu-chan so we have to hang out together after school….

One thing that shocked me today was hearing someone refer to that giraffe as "cute, tall like a model" erm, I guess if I really squint and concentrate?

Just a little.

Anyway I've got to concentrate on exams so I won't be writing for a while.