I wrote this for Emergency! But then I realized it could work here as well...
Come On Down
A Short Story
The Tenth Doctor trudged into UNIT for the first time in a very long time, heading for the communal showers which included an attached mud-room...which he was in intense need of and tried to ignore the groans of disgust aimed in his direction by UNIT personnel. He was covered from the top of his well-matted hair, including his Janis Joplin coat, to his shoes in a slurry made of gray river clay, river gravel, extremely filthy sand, bits of dried grass or straw, wet leaves from the forest, compost and stale, rotted general livestock manure. It took him almost two hours to clean up and by that time the smell had run everyone else out of that part of the base entirely. He dreaded going back out in the main building, frankly.
"But how the hell did he get covered in the wet stuff? That's for covering fields to increase fertility for crops!" Captain Walters wanted to know.
"He let the kids lay out the course for a hundred yard dash...the ten-year-old boys, that is, without mentioning it was supposed to be used for foot races in the children's events on Sunday's event. His job is to figure out where to put them this year...and I might have suggested to the boys that the Fun Factor of the track for their group would be better if it ended on the river-slide." Donna was referring to the clayslick most of the youngsters used as a waterslide for the deeper part of the shallowish small river that ran near Fun Town Fairgrounds, as the village had named it.
"That would have gotten him wet and muddy, certainly, but that's all...so, where'd the rest of it come from?" The captain asked.
"They put the track in the wrong place, it ended up over the poop-pit, by the compost pile. They saw the top of the riverbank and thought the slick was too far to walk when they had one right where they were." This was a Marine's wife, giggling like mad. Her husband was bellowing his merriment.
"And?" One of the smirking gunnies was nearly salivating for the rest of that tale.
"The Tenth Doctor failed to check to make sure he was where he thought he was, before he took a flying leap, he went head first into the manure." Mike Morton, one of the computer techs laughed.
"And the bits of leaf and straw?" Captain Luis choked the words out past his own glee.
"Had to walk past last year's fields and apparently, there was a good bit of wind blowing." A local farmer who'd just delivered home grown cabbages to the base informed him, grinning. "Little pieces and bits of very light, dried out debris stuck all over him."
"Poor Alien." John Benton chuckled.
"Foul-smelling lil' guy, ain't he?" Walter's gaiety rang out.
"Yeah, oh man, I wish I could claim that one, cuz it's epic, but that one was entirely self-inflicted." Donna was roaring by then...but that was fine: So was everyone else...except The Tenth Doctor.
~ Finis~