I had written this a while ago and posted it onto Tumblr, and I wanted to post it here as well. Better late than never.
I don't own anything other than this fanfic. Enjoy!
"Marik, we have to get going! If we want to defeat the pharaoh, we need to make sure our present is the best one at the Christmas party," Bakura said.
"Don't worry Bakura, I've got everything all planned out," Marik responded.
"I really doubt that, last time you said you had everything planned out, we had to go pick up 40 cases of tacos from the local restaurant, all because you made that stupid promise."
"Oh like you wouldn't know the value of a great deal!"
"You mean getting a ride on a Winged Dragon of Ra motorcycle with a free coupon for 'all you can eat tacos at your local restaurant?'
"Exactly! I'm glad you understand that." Bakura rolled his eyes. "Anyways, let's get to the party. Bakura, go get the car keys, I'll get the Pharaoh's present." Bakura walked away as Marik walked over to a wrapped box. It had purple wrapping paper and a gold ribbon. There was a tag with a little note.
"Hope your Christmas this year is a blast!
Love Marik and Bakura"
"This will be the best party ever!" Marik said. He started laughing, but was interrupted by Bakura tapping his shoulder. "What do you want?"
"Where did you put the car keys?" Bakura asked.
"What do you mean 'where did I put the car keys?' They're in the same place they always are!"
"I believe I would have seen them if they were in the same place as always. Now where are they?" Bakura asked again.
"I will say it again, they are where they always are. I don't see the point of this."
"Fine, come with me then." Bakura said. Marik followed him to a small hook on the wall near the door. The hook was empty. "Now, do you see my point?"
"Obviously, you were the one who moved them, because I hadn't touched them since yesterday, and I remember putting them on this hook."
"I didn't bloody move the keys!" Bakura yelled.
"Well I didn't move them either!" Marik rebutted. "Meaning it must have been you!"
"I DIDN'T BLOODY-" Bakura stopped. "Let's calm down. Now, you are saying you placed the keys on the hook, right?"
"Of course I did."
"Are you sure it was this hook, not on some other hook around the house?"
"I mena, you can look yourself," Marik said. Bakura walked over to the back door, no keys. He walked over to the closet, no keys.
"Fine, how about we try something else. Remember that we have two keys, one for each of us. Do you have your spare?"
"Well… uh… funny story. I loaned them."
"To who!?"
"Don't worry Bakura, I'll ask him for them back." Marik took out his cell phone and dialed the number. "Hello? Steve? Do you happen to have my spare keys for my motorcycle?"
"Yes I do, but I'm afraid I can't give them back to you."
"What the EFF are you talking about, I said you could have them for one day only!"
"And for that one day, we used your motorcycle to travel back to our weekend getaway on the moon."
"Yeah, getaway aaaaaallllllll day!"
"WHAT!? You told me you needed my car to travel to the grocery store!"
"We did go to the grocery store to buy all the necessities for getting wasted."
"Were getting wasted tonight!"
"Wait… how did you even get to the moon using my motorcycle?"
"I'm afraid we have to go, the entertainment has arrived. We'll be sure to return your keys and motorcycle when we are done."
"The party's getting started!"
"Curses!" Marik yelled as he hung up.
"I assume were not getting those keys back for a few days," Bakura said. "Meaning we better keep looking."
"Fine. I will look in the basement, while you look upstairs in our room," Marik said. Bakura nodded and the two started searching. After a while, no key were to be found.
"This is getting bloody absurd," Bakura noted.
"Well none of this would have happened if you hadn't lost them in the first place," Marik said.
"I told you I didn't…! Look, that doesn't matter now, what matters is we find them. The only other place they could be is in my car. They might be locked inside."
"Why didn't we look there in the first place?" Marik asked as the two made their way into the garage. Once Bakura opened the door, his cry could be heard around the block.
"WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS MY CAR!?"
The two stared at the empty garage, no car or motorcycle in sight. "Don't look at me, I didn't do anything," Marik said.
"Well, if you didn't take my car, and I am still here, then who has my car!?" After a moment of silence, Bakura spoke up again. "I wonder…" He pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number. "For the love of all things evil, he better pick up."
"Hello?"
"Zorc! Did you take my car!"
"Uh… I was hoping you wouldn't notice."
"What the bloody hell did you need my car for?"
"I going on a cruise! I've always wanted to travel around the world, and I needed your car so I could meet Cody at the loading dock."
"You're the most evil demon in the world, why couldn't you find a way to get there without using my car?"
"Because now I can say that I've been on a road trip, as well as on a cruise!"
"I don't care about you wasting time on a bloody cruise ship."
"But Bakura, this isn't just any cruise ship. I'm going to school on a cruise ship. I'm going to be learning new things about the world."
"A school on a cruise ship? That's more stupid than a school on a remote island that teaches you how to play a card game for children."
"You'll see! I'm going to be living it up here, and learning new things!"
"Come on Zorc, once were done with class, I have an idea for a joke on the captain of the ship!"
"Hooray! I love practical jokes! See you Bakura!" And the phone hung up.
"This is the worst timing ever! Now we'll never get to the party and destroy the Pharaoh once and for all!" Marik yelled.
"Well, we could always walk. It might take longer, but it will at least get us to the party. Where is it anyways?"
"The invitation says it's in America!" Marik said.
"...And we're in Japan…" Bakura pointed out. "We had better start walking." Marik grabbed the present carefully and the two got ready for their long hike.
After forever, Marik and Bakura made their way out of the ocean and onto the shore of a beach somewhere on the coast. "At last! We have made it to America! Now we can find the party and destroy the Pharaoh!" Marik said.
"Where in America is the party?" Bakura asked.
"I don't know, all I know is that it's in America," Marik replied.
"What? How do you know that it's in America, but not which city or which state it's in…" Bakura paused for a minute. "Marik… who gave you the invitation?"
"Uh, some loud guy. Wearing something on his head, stripes, stars. Had glasses. But he said we were invited to the Christmas party in America."
Bakura rubbed his forehead. "And you took his word for it. Did you even read the invitation!?"
"I have it right here-" as soon as Marik pulled it out, Bakura ripped it from his hands and opened it."
"BOLLOCKS!" he shouted throwing the invitation. Marik ran over and picked it up.
"Oooooohhhhhh. It was at Yugi Moto's house. Okay, that makes so much more sense. Hey Bakura-" But before he could finish, Bakura grabbed the present and threw it into the water. He angrily sat on a large rock nearby, trying to make sense of the situation.
Marik walked over to him. He turned towards the sunset and back at Bakura. Marik sat down on the rock next to him. After a moment of the two looking at the sunset together, Marik spoke up. "So… how are you doing?"
And suddenly, the present went off,causing a huge column of water to shoot up into the sky, which landed on the two dorks, drenching them in water. After a moment of silence, Marik started laughing. "This isn't how I pictured our day would be, but I'm glad I got to spend it with you."
Bakura eyed Marik. "Just get us a plane ticket back home!"