Feet in the water, I sat alone on the sand. The sky was drenched in rich orange and peach hues. The song of water lapping against the rocks lining the vast shore rang through the mist. The calls of seagulls echoed warnings I'd never heed. The air was cold, harsh and damp.
"I am.." I paused as tears started to burn in my eyes, "I am a horrible person." Bringing my knees to my chest, I wrapped my arms around them. A strong feeling of guilt washed over my body in slow hot waves. My vision began to blur, trying to focus on the sail boats passing by in their leisurely pace. I shut my eyes tightly so as to let the tears stream down my cheeks. I heard soft footsteps in the sand behind me, I peeked behind myself to see who it was. With that view I immediately felt sick to my stomach.
"Hey," My neighbor, Joseph, stood with his loafers in hand and a faint smile on his lips. "Is this seat taken?" he gestures vaguely to the ground next to me. I look back to the water, wiping the tears from my face. He takes that as a yes and sits down, placing his shoes next to him. We sat in a sullen silence, my head began to ache. "It's not your fault you know." He mentioned almost casually, rolling up the hems of his khakis. But I didn't feel it was something to be 'casual' about, those words made the aching pound even harder, as though in rhythm with my heartbeat. The bitter breezes pushed my hair into my face, tears plastering the disheveled locks to my cheeks.
"No," I took a deep breath trying to keep my composure, "It is." I insisted, nodding my head. Joseph sunk his feet in the water. We stared off into the lake's horizon in an uncomfortable silence, but something told me he was feeling a different vibe. "Im a fucking homewrecker" I broke into a weak sob and pulled my legs closer to rest my head on my knees, He placed a firm hand on my back in an effort to comfort me. It was warm even through the fabric of my shirt.
"Mary and I had problems way before you came into the picture. You just helped me see them clearly." He stumbled over his words, "You got me out of that horrid relationship, the kids will just have to deal with two christmases." He let out a low laugh, but stopped as soon as he noticed I didn't find his joke funny. He frowned and turned his body towards mine. "Just listen to me," he rested his forehead into the nape of my neck,"It's not your fault." He paused for a short moment between each word to get his point across. I wept into my own arms. He tried to hush me as he subtly coiled his arms around me and pulled me close to him, rocking the both of us gently. He pressed his face harder into my neck and kissed against my heated skin, My ears perked up in surprise and goosebumps surfaced all the way up my arms.
I pulled my head up, "Joseph," He cut me off and placed a hand on my damp cheek, pushing the hair falling over my face and tucking it behind my ear. He leaned in and stopped about an inch away from my flushed face and hesitated for a moment before firmly placing his lips on mine. I ran my hand through his goldenrod hair planting my other into the cold sand to keep us upright. Feeling his hair cascade through my fingers like silk, I leaned into his body. His skin was warm and comforting. I put the majority of my body weight onto him and trailed kisses along his jawline. His hand found his way to the back of my head, raking his fingers against my scalp only to leave again as I pushed him gently to the sand below onto his back. I towered over him on my knees, practically straddling his dumb khakis. The waves rose in power and volume.
I started lowering my face back towards his once again. Cheeks dusted a violent pink, he looked around nervously, "I don't think this is a very safe place to-" He stopped himself when he noticed me leaning down to rest myself on his torso, only wanting to lay on him. Head on his chest I sat listening to his heartbeat and absorbing his warmth. He dropped his head back to the sand and placed his hands on my back. Sand seeping around us. I closed my eyes, bracing myself for my confession.
"It's not my fault." Though I didn't want to listen to myself, I tried my hardest to believe it.