A wonderful person on twitter, Mac-Vis, inspired me to write this, this is for you, thank you, and I hope anyone else who reads it enjoys it too.
Jay rubs his temple with his fingers, glances at his watch and fixes a surly stare at the papers on his desk.
A glance at his cell would tell him what's in his head already, meeting after meeting scheduled for later this afternoon and into the evening.
He wanted this, to be 'Sarge' but sometimes he misses how straightforward, which is an odd way to describe it he knows, just being a detective was.
He shakes his head, sooner he gets on with the paperwork the sooner he can find another bit of paperwork to get on with and perhaps maybe at some point join his detectives on a case.
His detectives.
Footsteps interrupt his train of thought, familiar footsteps, footsteps at the same time clumsy and determined.
It's like magic. Correction, he's like magic. The way Jay instantly forgets about the papers, the meetings, missing being out on a case and getting his hands truly dirty like he used to.
He's pushing back his chair and standing up, walking around to the front of his desk right on time as the small body collides with his legs, clinging onto a small model police car in one of his hands.
"Daddy!"
Jay doesn't hesitate, he reaches down, scoops his son, their son, up from where he's peering up at his dad, clutching onto the denim of Jay's jeans, and holds him.
"Hey kiddo," he replies with a smile, gently bopping his boy's nose, "Where's mommy?"
His son's small hand instantly points towards the doorway to his mom, Jay's wife who's smiling as she leans against the doorjamb.
"Afternoon Sergeant Halstead," then her smile alters to an almost apologetic one as she adds, "After I picked him up from pre-school, he insisted on coming to see daddy."
Jay takes a couple of steps forward, shakes his head and presses a kiss to Hailey's lips.
"You crazy? I love seeing the three of you." He replies, glancing down, his hand resting for a moment on Hailey's belly.
Hailey rolls her eyes, fondness impossible to contain even as she does it.
"You're cute Halstead."
"Well obviously, but not as cute as Mini Mister Halstead here, right champ?"
Daniel Halstead isn't paying the slightest bit of attention to his parents, instead just like all the other times he's been here, make that every time he goes to any new place his eyes are everywhere.
"Hey Danny," Jay rubs his boy's chest to get his attention, "Wanna see where mommy and daddy first worked together?"
Danny nods quickly and Jay steps out of his office and into the bullpen.
So much has changed for them in the last 6 years and yet this place barely has. Hailey's desk is where it always was, albeit out of use right now perhaps even likely commandeered by someone else soon now Hailey's on maternity leave.
Jay's old desk is where Vanessa sits these days.
Jay pulls Hailey's chair back and lowers Danny into it, watching as Danny shuffles backward, looking tiny in the chair before Jay pushes the chair closer to the desk and adjusts the height a little. His hair, the lightest brown with little specks of blond and red. Red framed glasses with the blue-est eyes behind them.
Freckles dotted across his nose and cheeks. Jay thinks he's a mini Hailey. Hailey disagrees frequently, playfully because as she argues there are no redheads in her family so he's all Jay.
All theirs.
Jay settles against the edge of the desk, peering down at Danny.
"Hey Danny, your daddy spent so much time where he is right now that he almost made that his desk."
Jay turns his head, shifting slightly to look at Hailey who's still leaning against the doorway and laughs.
"It was just convenient for us to have our conversations that's all," he protests.
"Oh sure," Hailey grins pulling away from the door and walks next to where Jay's sitting.
"Everyone on a case?" she asks as she rests her hand on Jay's shoulder.
Jay sighs, glancing at her before he turns his attention back to Danny who's making siren sounds as he plays with the toy police car that's now on Hailey's desk.
"Yeah."
"Tough at the top, huh?"
"Little bit but I gotta look at this way, if it weren't for all that paperwork I wouldn't get to see you guys."
They exchange a smile before Jay adds, "How you doing being back here, knowing that it'll be a little while before you're back."
Hailey glances down towards her belly, she's due in 3 weeks They'd been trying since Danny was a year old and had thought maybe it wasn't meant to be and yet here they are.
They'll soon have a little girl for Jay to never stop worrying about and Danny to grow into the most protective older brother he can be.
"It's okay," then with a second thought she continues, "Actually it's fine and I'm never out of the loop between you and Vanessa and the others and talking of the others, mind if I go and talk to Trudy for a little bit, see how she's doing, see if she's gotten used to the idea of her retirement being just around the corner yet?"
Jay glances down at Danny to make sure he's okay before he shifts his body to fully face Hailey, to lightly touch her belly for a moment and then lock his fingers with hers before he nods.
"Take your time, me and Detective Daniel Halstead here will hold the fort, right kiddo?"
The answer they get is an even noisier than before siren sound from Danny and his parents exchange an indulgent grin before Jay lets go of her hand and she walks toward the stairs then out of sight.
Leaving Jay with Danny who's starting to look bored.
"Hey Detective Halstead," Danny ignores him, "Danny," Jay whispers, "I got an idea, stay right there."
Jay dashes into his office, goes to the coat stand in the corner and finds what he needs instantly and rushes back to his son.
"Guess who just got a promotion?" Jay says, more for his own pleasure than his son he knows, "Sergeant Daniel Halstead," Jay announces pulling the peaked cap from behind his back with a flourish and placing it on Danny's head.
It's too big, way too big but the giggle from Danny? It's one of those moments Jay wishes he could have recorded but knows he'll playback in his mind over and over as long as he has the ability to remember.
Danny's little hands struggle to push the cap from covering his eyes so without hesitation Jay scoops his son up and adjusts it so he can see Danny's eyes which if nothing else are definitely just like his mom's.
"Wanna go for a tour of where you'll be in charge Sergeant?"
Danny nods, Jay's not sure Danny even knows what he's nodding about properly but he needs no persuasion to take him into the kitchen first.
"This is where you leave food in that fridge at your peril and that's where mommy and daddy had so many talks, said so many things that only really made sense once we figured it all out, us out."
Danny fidgets with the cap so Jay adjusts it again as he walks out of the kitchen, through the bullpen and into the corridor where the interview rooms are, slightly upgraded by necessity in recent years but still the same memories.
He opens the door and walks into the viewing area next to one of the rooms where if he just shut his eyes, he'd be transported back, instead he points toward the room on the other side of the glass.
"And that room there is where we sometimes talk to some bad guys and this room is another place where mommy and me would stand and talk," he grins at the memories, "lots of talking."
Jay then turns his attention back to Danny who yawns then reaches out his hands towards Jay's face before he yawns once more and instead, one hand rests against Jay's chest.
"Tied, daddy," he says simply mispronouncing the word but his yawn leaving Jay in no doubt of what he meant..
Jay pulls him closer, takes the cap off his head and places it on his own which draws a tired but happy giggle from Danny.
They walk back through the bullpen, Jay picking up the toy police car from Hailey's desk along the way, and back into Jay's office.
"Wanna know the best perk of this job, Danny, it's that we can shut the door," Jay kicks the door shut behind him and then places the toy car on the desk, "and then we can adjust the blinds," he adjusts the blinds so no one can see clearly inside," and then we have this nice oh so comfortable chair behind the desk which is built especially for new sergeants called Danny Halstead to take a break in between writing-oh wait no drawing all the reports."
Jay gently lowers Danny into the chair then pushes it closer to the desk, adjusting the height so Danny can rest his head on it if he wants to then he pulls a drawer open, grabs a piece of paper and then in another drawer finds some coloring pens he'd bought just in case a while back and he places them on the desk.
He grabs the model car and places it closer to Danny who reaches for it immediately, hugging it closer to him.
"Okay Sarge, you can either draw some important reports or you can have a little sleep and I'll be right here waiting for your orders," Jay says, moving around the desk and sitting down on the two-seater couch in the corner of the room, takes the cap off his head and places it on the space next to him.
It's like parents are embedded with a chip that tells them instinctively when their child's about to cry when all the best-laid plans go a little awry.
There's that and the way Danny's face screws up, his face immediately turning a beetroot shade of red and he makes a wailing noise as he manages to get out, "Daddy," his hands flailing in the air and Jay's up so fast.
"It's okay Danny, it's okay, don't worry Daddy's here, Sarge," he lifts up Danny who immediately brightens, sleepy though he still is, "Hey Sergeant Kiddo, you want me to sit down and you can go sleepy byes for a little bit on me?"
Danny nods.
Jay sits down in the chair, adjusting the height with one hand while Danny settles into him, snuggling onto his chest.
His breathing immediately slows, little snore like noises coming from him every couple of seconds, a hand clutching onto the material of Jay's sweater.
Sometimes Jay can't believe his life, his luck.
"That's right Sarge, you rest up, we'll wait for Detective Mommy to come and give us our orders, right?"
Maybe Jay shuts his eyes and maybe that's how Hailey finds them, maybe she takes a picture because maybe Hailey thinks she can't believe her life, her luck and maybe it's a reminder and just perfect symmetry for how they both feel.
How they've both felt from the moment they took the leap off the ledge and never looked back.