A/N- There really aren't enough DabiHawks fanfictions, at least not on this site. So, here's my contribution. Sorry if it's a bit sadder than most fics I write, but that's just how I've been feeling lately. I've been quarantined for too long lol.
Disclaimer: Don't own it
Chapter One: Lost in the Ashes of our Past
It was his birthday today.
When he was a child, this day always brought great joy.
The promise of presents, cake, celebration, and everyone just being happy used to light excitement in him.
At least for a time, he had enjoyed his birthdays.
But then, everything had inevitably changed, and he and his siblings' birthdays were celebrated differently, with whispered song and quiet conversation, in the dead of night, when they could sneak to each other's rooms and no one would be able to punish them.
It was still a happy occasion, but bittersweet. He had always known that it shouldn't have been like that. That they should've been able to celebrate each other's birthdays in the broad light of day, without the fear of being caught doing something they weren't supposed to. It wasn't right.
One birthday he remembered particularly well- his sixteenth.
It was he who had snuck out this time. He'd told his siblings not to bother sneaking into his room- it was too risky.
That was a lie, of course. They probably could have done it without being caught. But he wanted to celebrate his birthday with someone else, just this once.
And so he snuck out to the woods across from his house, to their usual meeting place. They spent the night sleeping under the stars, no blankets or pillows, just the ground.
His most vivid memory was the confession.
He had never seen it coming- he thought they were friends, nothing more.
And yet, when the whispered declaration of love was proclaimed, he found that he reciprocated those feelings.
He remembered the heated, sloppy kisses, the fingers trailing down his back, the soft wings brushing his shoulder... He remembered doing things that teenage boys shouldn't have been doing, but did anyway. They had been in love, and had given in to all of their passions.
He remembered confiding everything in him- he was the only one he trusted to tell everything.
He would always just listen silently, sometimes pulling him into a gentle hug. He never said anything, but Dabi preferred it that way. At that age, he had resented pity. He didn't want someone to pity him. He just wanted someone who would listen.
Then, two years later, he had left.
He felt a twinge of guilt whenever he thought about his previous lover, but it had to be done.
He would've gone insane if he'd stayed there any longer.
He was twenty-one now.
Old enough to drink.
He snorted. As if he hadn't been doing that years before he came of age.
Still, he supposed it was a special occasion, now that he was old enough to legally drink.
He dropped by a liquor store on the way back to his crappy apartment.
As he browsed the aisles in search of his favorite beer, he wondered how long it would be until people recognized his face and he wouldn't be able to go in public anymore.
He'd joined the league of villains roughly a week ago. It probably wouldn't be long.
He grabbed a case of Corona and walked out of the store, not bothering to pay.
He'd become a pro at thieving- they key was to look relaxed, as if you weren't doing anything wrong. Most people wouldn't question you.
But, as he was walking out of the store, something caught his eye.
Or rather, someone caught his eye.
It was impossible to miss him. Those giant red wings just screamed attention.
He was paying for his bear, Dabi noted. He had never done that when they were younger.
Then again, Dabi mused, he was the number three hero now. He had to keep up appearances.
He finished paying, and Dabi wondered if he should say something.
But he doubted he would recognize him now anyway. The scars covering his body, along with the hair dye, made him almost unrecognizable from what he looked like before.
He turned to leave, but he felt a hand on his shoulder.
He turned around, and his breath caught in his throat.
"Hey, do I know you from somewhere?" Hawks asked.
"No." Dabi answered quickly. Too quickly.
Hawks frowned. "Are you sure? I could've sworn I've seen you somewhere before-"
Dabi shrugged Hawks's hand off his shoulder.
"I think I would remember if I'd met the number three hero," he replied cooly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere I need to be."
"Oh... okay." Hawks let him go, although he still had that stupid look on his face. That stupid look that he wore whenever the answer to a question he was searching for was right at his fingertips, but he couldn't quite grasp it.
That stupid look that Dabi couldn't resist and had prompted him to tackle Hawks to the ground with a hard kiss so many times.
Dabi started to walk away. He hesitated. They had had something, once. A long time ago. Could that something be rekindled, or...?
No.
Dabi shook his head slightly and walked faster. He was a villain now. Hawks was a hero. Things wouldn't ever be the same. Hawks had a new life now- he was the number three hero.
There was no room in his life for Dabi.
No room in his life... for Touya.
Touya was gone, anyway.
Even if Hawks had room in his life for him, Dabi reminded himself, Touya was gone.
The moments they'd spent together, kissing under the warm sun, escaping their lives for a few hours in what seemed to be almost another world, might as well have burned to ash.
They might have meant something to Touya, but to Dabi, they were nothing but faded memories.
And, as he heard a flapping sound and looked back to see Hawks flying off, beer cradled in his arms, he decided that even if Hawks didn't, he still had room in his heart for him, a little portion of it that ached for times past.
And maybe, had things been different, had life not been so cruel, they could have been together.
A/N- Welp, that's that over with. I kinda just wrote this on a whim, and it's probably gonna stay a one shot, but if a lot of people are interested in this and want me to continue it, I might. Leave a review saying what you think. Flames are welcome.