For Acetalia Week 2019: Day 1 - Friendship
They're out at a bar. That in itself isn't such an odd place for them to be, but the atmosphere they're currently simmering in is anything but comfortable.
Antonio fiddles with his hands, glancing between Francis and Gilbert, the former staring off into space and the latter drinking so deeply from his beer Antonio is afraid he's going to drown in it.
Gilbert slams the jug down on the table, red in the face, opens his mouth, but seems to think better of it and closes it again. He grumbles, "Getting a refill," and leaves for the bar.
Francis doesn't appear to notice.
Antonio sips his own beer and wonders what to say. He drums his fingers against the table, but the words elude him.
When Gilbert returns, he has brought peanuts and is even more gruff. Antonio wants to ask whether something has happened between him and Lovino, though for some reason, despite both being terribly hot-headed, they never really fight with each other. Argue, yes, but never do they yell or shout. At most, one of them would sleep in the guest room, but that has only happened once for as far as Antonio is aware, and Lovino had crawled back into bed with Gilbert around four in the morning.
Before Antonio can ever really come to a decision as to what to voice, Francis pipes up for the first time during the night.
"How do you guys feel when you're in love?" he asks, straight out of left field.
Gilbert pauses, gives Francis a very strange expression, and says, "I don't know? Good?"
Francis purses his lips. "Good how?"
"Like—" Gilbert gestures around his chest. "Warm? I guess? I get a little fuzzy sometimes when Lovi does something sweet or, uh, when I'm with him I'm just really happy. Really content-like."
Francis doesn't say anything for a moment, though he is frowning, and hums a little distractedly. He looks at Antonio. "And for you?"
"Ah, well." Antonio scratches the back of his head. "Fuzzy too, actually. And I want to be with her, do fun things with her—"
"Like sex?" Francis asks. Gilbert makes a disgusted sound.
"Yeah." Antonio frowns at Gilbert. "Why are you pulling such a face? You and Lovino must do it all the time."
"What if I said we don't?" Gilbert challenges. His glare falters a little as both his friends turn toward him, confused. "I, uh, I'm kind of asexual? I talked about if with Lovino earlier and we're kind of figuring out where to go? Because it's not really like I mind sex, but at the same time I really don't care either. It's… a little confusing honestly."
Antonio doesn't really know what to say, but before he can, Francis blurts, "I'm demi. I think. That's why I'm asking. Because when I'm with Arthur it's closeness and sex, but never did I think I was in love with him. Except… except lately Arthur has been saying he'd like to be more, but I'm not even sure what that means."
Gilbert leans forward eagerly. "Really? Demiromantic then, right? Or sexually too?"
"There's a difference?"
"I mean, yeah! Like, I'm ace, and for me that means I'm not into sex the same way you guys probably are. I don't look at a guy and think 'hey, I'd like to fuck that'. I didn't with Lovino, though he's told me that's how he regarded me when he first saw me. But I am still looking at guys and thinking 'wow, I'd like to kiss that and be in a relationship with that', you know? Does that make sense? Because I feel I'm rambling."
"A little," Francis says.
Antonio doesn't entirely understand, but it's important to Gilbert so he will try to. But for now he'll keep his mouth shut because it isn't his conversation to have, just like it wasn't his conversation to have when Gilbert came out to him years ago after years of struggling, or when Francis became their friend and attached was Arthur (though Antonio and Arthur don't get along well, they try for Francis' sake). This is a conversation to listen to and to offer support in when they need it, but not to really be a part of.
Francis wrings his hands. "For me, it's, um, I enjoy sex. With strangers or with people I know better. But I've never felt the need to—never felt anything romantic? Not really like you're describing it. But now there's Arthur, and I am very fond of him, and I'd like for him to be happy, but I'm not sure where to draw the line, I guess. Because I'm also fond of you guys, and I want you to be happy too, but it's different."
Nodding, Gilbert stuffs some peanuts into his mouth. "Different how?"
"Just…" Francis makes a frustrated noise. "Different. What I feel for you is purely platonic; I know that. But with Arthur it's… not. Not really. I think."
"It's different," Gilbert says with a grin, though he sobers a little to add thoughtfully, "I mean, sexuality isn't really meant to be put into boxes with neat little labels anyway. It's way too fluid and all over the place for that. And it's okay to not really fit within the boxes available or to temporarily fit within a box, but switch later to one you feel fits better. There's no definite answer."
"How profound of you, Gilbert." Francis smiles.
Gilbert pats his own chest proudly. "The profoundest."
Francis leans back into his chair. "So, it would fit under being demiromantic?"
"Uh, well, it could be grey also? Because I think being demi is about having a close bond with someone before you want a relationship or to have sex. At least, that's how it has been explained to me. And grey is a little more, you know, grey. Vague. A lot falls under there, like experiencing romantic attraction, but just not often. Or not really wanting to be in romantic relationships despite experiencing romantic attraction. There's so much."
Francis hums and sips his wine.
Antonio has been eating peanuts for the most part, listening and typing down a list of questions on his phone to ask later.
"What do you think, Toni?" Gilbert asks, probably more to involve him into the conversation.
Antonio blinks. "Uh, me?" At both their nods, he gestures for Francis to move closer and proceeds to catch them both in a slightly awkward, incredibly uncomfortable, table-blocked hug. "I think I love you both and I think you guys are doing great. You just figure things out however they work for you, and I'll support you all the way."
"Sap!" Gilbert says, pulling a face as Antonio kisses their cheeks. "Where's my no homo?"
"It's always homo with us, Gil," Francis says, wrapping his own arms around Gilbert and Antonio's shoulders.
"Gross." Gilbert sticks out his tongue.
Antonio laughs, squeezing one last time, finally causing the upending of his own glass and the sad shattering of Francis' wine glass, and the three of them scramble to catch Gilbert's from meeting the same doom.
After apologizing profusely, offering a refund for the glass, and having another round between the three of them, Antonio raises his glass in a toast, which Francis and Gilbert join in with a loud cheer.
Antonio is that one Straight Ally who might not get it all, but will love his friends regardless
Originally posted on the 27th of August 2019 on AO3.