Quidditch Reserve League, Season 1, Round 6: Genres

Position: Captain

Prompt: Slice of Life

Word Count: 1,022

Warning: One mention of suicide

~End of Author's Notes~

Melissa yawned as she stepped out of the fireplace. She was immediately embraced by the comfort of her home, a little cottage on the edge of a forest that nobody ever cared to wander too. The room befitted the rustic nature of the place, with paintings of things like dragons resting in lakes and fairies perching on tree branches hanging from the walls and furniture made from natural materials. And the thing most attuned to nature was sprawled out on the sofa, her messy blonde hair cascading across the arm and a book on her lap.

"Hello, love," Melissa tossed off her cloak, which floated over to the coat hook of its own accord and settled nicely.

"Good evening," Helia replied, not moving a muscle save to turn her eyes towards her wife. "How was work?"

"As wonderful as can be!" Melissa grinned as she slipped out of her boots, which walked themselves to the shoe racks. "There was paperwork, filing, and alphabetizing the 'Muggle Stuff' section. Because ,apparently, the Muggle world is so confusing Mr. Cobblepot forgot the order letters go in. Truly, it's a wonder I managed to make it to Hogwarts."

"I'm glad you had a good way." Helia moved her head an inch. "Wait, I know that tone. It's sarcasm, isn't it?"

"In one!" Melissa snapped her finger and pointed at Helia. "Now get over here so I can get my welcome home kiss."

"Hmmm..." Helia looked at herself, then at Melissa. "I'm comfy. You come here."

"I spent the day at work! Your trousers aren't even dirty. Not a speck of dirt on them." Melissa tutted as she flicked on the radio, which filled the room with the sound of a violin. Her nose wrinkled and she turned the dial into the much more soothing siren song of literal sirens. From Greece.

"There were no magical creature-based emergencies." Helia shrugged. "No, wait… I found a starving animal. I solved that by eating last night's trifle."

"So you laid on your arse all day and ate sweets," Melissa sighed as she stepped up and leaned down to plant a kiss on Helia's lips. "It's a good thing you're beautiful!"

"I'm not that beautiful."

"You're right! The divorce papers will be here by morning," Melissa said as she plopped herself down on the other side of the couch and flashed a grin at Helia's feigned glare. "Rub my feet and I'll reconsider." She propped each foot on Helia's stomach, behind her book.

Helia's eyes drifted to the radio.

"I should have married a siren."

"You'd have to rub their tails and you'd get in a lot of trouble," Melissa pointed out. "You're a gamekeeper, she's game, it'll never work out!"

"Sirens are not game."

"Well, you can…" Melissa shook her head. "Too easy. Feet now, thanks!"

Helia tossed her book onto Melissa's lap.

"Read to me while I do it."

"More reading? I spend all day surrounded by these things and you want me to read more." Melissa clicked her tongue, opened the page to the bookmark and cleared her throat. "You start by rubbing her heel; she's especially achy there and— "

"I'm doing it. Calm your tits."

"Thank you!" Melissa beamed as she scanned the page. "A murder mystery, again? We're going to need another extension charm on the shelves at this rate."

"I like them. They have murder and are mysterious."

"Oh, that's why they're called that. How clever!" Melissa rested back against the arm of the chair as the taller woman got to work. "Have you figured out the twist to this one yet?"

"No. It's a Muggle one."

"A Muggle one..." Melissa glanced at the cover. It wasn't moving, or attempting to eat her finger, so that did seem likely. "Why? I thought Muggle stuff was boring and also dull and also...what was it?"

"Tedious."

"Yes, that one."

"I ran through a dozen bestsellers and they all had a twist about magical creatures," Helia replied. "The ghost couldn't remember his killer because he handled Swooping Evil venom. The murder weapon was a Boggart. The cause of death was suicide via a Dementor's aura. Predictable when it's your job. I'm sure everyone else enjoyed them well enough, but..."

"So you decided to buy Muggle to ensure you didn't figure it out. Very clever, very clever indeed. How is this one going so far?"

"It's fine. It could be better; the main character's a little dull. He's not the kind of fellow you want to read about for him, just the things that he encounters. I think it would be more interesting if he was tied into the story, rather than just serving as a vessel for us to perceive it through, but what can you do?"

"Write the author a sternly-worded letter! At least, that's what everyone who uses the Ministry's library seems to think will solve things."

"I'm detecting bitterness."

"I'm as sweet as butterbeer! But since you asked, yes, there were a lot of them today. A pile taller than my quill! I half suspect that Susan sneaked some of hers onto my desk, but she's quick for an old witch."

"How quick can she be?"

"Well, I think she's slipping a little something into her coffee. At least, I'm sure that nobody's spiking the teapot and you don't get breath like rum by magic." Melissa paused. "Except you can, but why would you?"

"Speaking of tea, what about the other kind?" Helia asked. "Do you fancy anything in particular?"

"I've had my eye on this lovely Irish girl for quite some time..."

"Right." Helia raised her eyebrows at Melissa. "I'll warn you once. I can tickle you at any time and I'm under no obligation to be merciful. Choose your next words wisely."

"Mashed potatoes and a surprise," Melissa replied. "And I'll remind that tickling has been forbidden from this household since Christmas, you scoundrel."

"That's me. I'll get to it as soon as you've finished with that chapter. That means you'll have to start reading it at some point."

"I'm doing it. Calm your tits." Melissa winked and started to read...