Note: A little three-parter angst thing I did over the course of two weeks. I recently finished Sneaky Pete's second season and Marius's threat to kill himself during the motel scene really inspired me. And I'm rewatching season one so consider that a motivation as well. Heavy loads of angst, suicidal thoughts, death, etc. This is strictly AU and Eddie isn't actually dead, just wanted to explore Marius's character a little more. This is my first oneshot of this cast so my apologies if the characters are slightly OOC. Hope you enjoy anyway! (Also warning for language)

Marius was sure this was the worst he'd ever felt.

Fuck Charlie's identity being exposed. Fuck watching his druggie mother destroy herself with heroine. Fuck the way he dumped Katie for someone newer and better at the con job. Fuck how he'd had to listen to Eddie's toe get chopped off. Fuck it all. It meant nothing compared to this. Nothing.

The tears hadn't lasted for long. Marius felt so fucking guilty for not being able to cry more. He was responsible for his own brother's death. And he couldn't even shed enough tears. He'd causes this. Of course he had; he destroyed everything he touched. Even since he'd been a child his mother had made sure to remind him of what a fuck up he was.

"Your brother Ed was the only one we wanted. The perfect kid. But you? No, you were just a mistake. When I found out I was pregnant with your stupid ass I thought about killing myself. You ruined my life. I could be in fuckin' Hawaii now but no, you had to be born, you worthless piece of shit. And because of you Danny left. It's your fault. It's all your fault."

The words had stung for a while, but Marius had stuck it out because he had a job. He had to care for Eddie. His little brother was the only person that had ever given meaning to his fucked up life and Marius intended to keep him safe at all costs, always stay loyal to him no matter what.

But it didn't work. It never worked, did it? Everyone he had loved left: his father, after he was born. His mother, after she'd overdosed in front of twelve year old Marius, cradling her boy in her arms and murmuring comforts to herself. And now his brother was gone. He'd been ripped away from him and the numb emotions the male had tried to hard to keep were shattered. All the hard work was undone like screws, now he was just a broken human with no purpose. No purpose without his hammer.

Several times on the drive back home (or Pete's grandparents' house, who he was currently taking the identity of) he'd thought about "accidentally" letting the car skid off to the side and crash into a tree. It wouldn't be so bad. The guilt was eating him alive inside, the fact that he'd fucked over everyone he'd known was finally beginning to tear apart his mind. Fuck, why did he have to feel? Why couldn't he be a mindless, numb robot to the world? Why did he fuck everything up?

So many questions I'll never have the answers to. Maybe Mom was right.

He was the one that had gotten Eddie into the conman business anyway. But his brother wasn't fit for the job; he was too sympathetic, too concerned with the well-being of others, too naïve and gullible. But Eddie had just wanted to follow in his brother's footsteps. The least he could do was impress a little, right? After all, showing his baby brother a few little tricks couldn't hurt.

But oh, how it had hurt. It had cost the both of them several personal losses and involvements in fucking psychotic people. Of course, without it, Marius wouldn't have met Katie, or Marjorie, or Karolina. But was it honestly worth it at this point? His fucking brother was dead and he was completely faking an identity to escape from Vince like a coward.

His original plan had been to steal the money and run off. Then, after Eddie had been taken hostage by Vince and had his fucking toe chopped off, Marius had wanted the money for his brother. But with three weeks finally passing, Vince seemed less than concerned with offing Eddie. And so that's what they had done. With Marius right there on the phone, put on mute, the men telling his brother how much Marius hated him.

It hadn't been true. It had been fucking torture but there wasn't enough time to track a location, not enough time to kick their asses, not enough time to come up with a lie to save Eddie. No. He was hopeless as he listened to the gunshot, a shiver crawling up his spine as soft sobs wrenched from his throat.

FUCK!

He hadn't even realized he'd nearly smashed the window with his hand as he peeled into the driveway of the house. Marius forced himself to stay in control of his breathing, letting the oxygen filter through his lips, in and out, in and out. When that was under control, the brown-haired male sat in the car for a bit, the red puffiness around his eyes fading away. He didn't allow any more tears to be shed.

He couldn't lose it in front of his fake family.

Praying to god there was no family dinner, (he hadn't checked his phone since last night, after he'd been pulled into the phone by Vince and-... and then he'd ran like the coward he was until crawling back to this horrid place fifteen hours later.) Marius let his shaking hands fumble on the doorknob. He took in another breath and opened the door, scanning his surroundings as he walked inside. There wasn't any clamor of noises, so maybe Marius had gotten off lucky. Maybe-

"PETE!"

Fuck. Fuck luck, Marius was one hundred percent sure if there was a god that he was out against him for a personal vendetta (which was understandable, considering everything Marius had done), but it didn't make it any less annoying with the shitty situations he got himself into. However, he'd usually be able to wriggle his way out of them.

Except for Eddie.

Shivering, Marius realized he hadn't said anything and mentally slapped himself. He stared around the dinner table, a fake smile making its way on his features. "H-Hey family. What's up?"

"Where have you been?! We thought you had up and left us again!" Otto embraced his "grandson" in a hug and Marius felt his whole demeanor become scrunched and awkward, but he reluctantly let the old man squeeze him half to death and let out a puff of air when he was released from the hug. Audrey looked a little hurt, but her icy gaze masked what she had previously been feeling. Even Julia and her kids were here, and it looked like Taylor had made room for the family. Carly stared at Marius, eyes narrowing.

"So Pete, where ya been?" the black-haired teen asked.

She knows. She knows something is wrong but I need to throw her off my track. How? Think, think, think. FUCK. I can't think right now. His mind was numb and fuzzy, eating away at any plans he could come up with and he was left with nothing, no genius beating in the back of his mind this time.

"Out." Probably the worst answer he could've given but it was the only word that would be able to leave his lips without him bursting into tears. His throat burned, his lungs felt like they were on fire, he couldn't breathe. Everything hurt.

"Out where?" Audrey hissed, the old woman standing up angrily. Julia's eyes widened slightly and Taylor looked away awkwardly. She noticed their expressions and sneered. "Excuse me for being worried, but Maggie left us over twenty years ago and hasn't returned. Pete is her son, so it's only normal to think he might have disappeared again."

"Grandma, I assure you that's not the case." Marius's tone became oddly calm. It almost scared himself how quickly he could fake his emotions. Then, Audrey looked up at him, eyes softening. "I just had to go to the city to do something, took a little too long."

Otto looked relieved to hear that Marius, or Pete in his mind, wasn't leaving, smiling widely. "Well, that's great! Pete, why don't you join us for dinner?"

Seeing Marius's pleading gaze, Julia quickly turned to Otto. "Grandpa, Pete looks real tired. Maybe we should, y'know, let our good old cousin rest."

"Rest my ass!" Otto growled. "He's eating with us and that's final. I've seen enough of this family break off, I won't allow it to happen again."

Not having enough energy to argue, Marius reluctantly slipped into the seat next to Taylor. He flinched when his "cousin" tackled him in a chokehold. "Buddy! Hey I didn't get to say anything while everyone was arguing so here's my welcome!"

"Taylor, stop being a man-child!" Audrey scolded, passing the potatoes.

Marius felt the life drain out of him almost immediately. For a moment he wished Taylor would accidentally land on his head and snap his neck, or keep him gasping for air a little too long. If only he could die.

Horror trickled into Marius's gaze when he realized what he was telling himself. I can't die. I have to make Vince pay for what he did. I have to make sure Eddie knows I didn't hate him, never. Even if he's gone..maybe he's still watching down on me. He mentally shook his head, frowning. That was stupid talk, he just wanted some good old revenge. And since Marius had nothing else to live for.. it was almost too perfect.

Taylor eventually let go and Marius huffed, staggering to his feet. "L-Look I'm sorry, I have some stuff to work on okay? Goodnight." Ignoring the family's shocked faces the brown-haired male turned on his heel and trudged up the stairs, the darkness swallowing his thoughts as he entered his room. Marius didn't even take his shoes off, he just fell face-first into his pillow and curled in on himself.

He was so numb.

Carly

Something was going on with Pete, and Carly would be damned if she didn't find out. After the family had murmured concerned words after Pete had gone to bed, they'd somberly cleaned up dinner and headed to bed themselves. The sudden mood change in her cousin was affecting everyone, and Carly was a little pissed off about it. What right did Pete have to fuck up this family more? She, Julia's, and Taylor's parents had died in a car crash, and Pete's mom had run off with him over twenty years ago. If he was now making things worse, Carly was going to fix it.

So she stayed up, scrolling through her phone or just sitting, staring at the wall blankly. She'd heard her cousin sneak out several times throughout the last month, and despite not always knowing where he was going, Carly was determined to catch him in the act this time and demand to know what the hell was going on.

Ugh. Why did this family always keep secrets from her?

Suddenly, Carly heard a light thud. She jerked up, eyes widening when she realized it was the bedroom beside her. A wide smile found itself on her features. Yes! He's up! That's Pete! Now I can confront him. Holding her breath, the seventeen-year-old hopped out of her bed and looked on the roof. She saw a dark shape jump down and smirked. What a prize.

Quickly throwing on her tennis shoes Carly quietly ran downstairs, opening the creaking door and letting it softly shut behind her. She narrowed her eyes, looking around for her cousin. Where had he gone? Fuck, if she lost him-

Pete's voice cut through the night sky and it sounded...angry? Nervous? She'd never really heard her cousin scared. He always seemed to know what he was doing, particularly involving manipulating other people.

Let's see what he's up to.

Sneaking up to the side of the barn, Carly looked through the window to see her cousin standing there, throwing a hissy fit over his phone. She scowled, wondering what was so wrong with him.

It couldn't be that bad, surely?

Marius

"God fucking damn answer the phone Marjorie." He held it aggressively to his ear once more, pacing around the barn, anxiety prickling through his fingers and causing his heart rate to bump up.

The hum of the telephone ring settled his mind for a moment. Then, she answered. "Hello?"

"Marjorie!" Pete wanted to crumple to the ground in relief. She was alive and alright. Then again that's not why he was calling.

"Marius?" The British woman sounded slightly surprised that he was calling at one in the morning, but he wasn't concerned whether or not he'd awoken her. After calling four times she should fucking respond. "What's wrong? You sound panicked."

Marius let out a deflated, pathetic laugh. "Oh, what's wrong? Hahah. Hahahaha. Funny joke, Marjorie."

The other side of the line went silent and the male worried he'd lost her for a moment. "Marius, he was a friend to us all. Karolina is struggling-"

"Fuck her," Marius hissed. "The fact that she can still stick with that piece of shit after what he did to Eddie tells me how loyal she really is."

"You can't possibly fathom her situation-"

"Oh, I understand quite well!" Marius's voice raised as he waved his hands. "Because, you know, when someone kills a friend's only fucking family, you continue to suck their dick, right?"

"Marius, calm down-"

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down." His voice became icily cold in a matter of seconds, his voice shaking with rage and hurt. "Eddie is dead because of me. Because I got him involved with Vince."

"Please-"

"And don't even tell me I'm wrong. I'm not. Because the moment my mother overdosed in front of my eyes I vowed to take care of my baby brother. But now? Now, he's dead. Now, I have nothing, no one, and no reason to live. What can I do except get my revenge on the person that pulled the trigger? And then...destroy the monster that got Eddie murdered in the first place."

Before Marjorie could answer (who was probably still in shock from his confession), Marius ended the call and took in a shaky breath. A sob left his lips and he tried to cover it with his hand but it didn't work. He hurt. He hurt so fucking bad all over and- and- he couldn't take it anymore. He needed to do what he was going to do tomorrow. There was no waiting.

To end Vince... and then end himself.

Carly

Carly was royally fucking confused. Her brows furrowed as she leaned against the creaking barn, listening to every sharp intake of breath her cousin made. There were a few words she couldn't make out, but Carly would try her best to interpret the gaps.

"Marjorie!" That was the first actual name Carly had heard come out of Pete's mouth during this night exchange. So it was a woman, most likely, and Pete had never mentioned her. Why? A secret girlfriend? Someone from his past?

She heard fake laughing and promptly after the words, "Funny joke, Marjorie," Carly wondered what could be bothering her cousin so much. Especially to be this sarcastic.

"Fuck her." The words were spat out of Pete's mouth so harshly the teen flinched back. They dripped with venom, but she could hear a trace of regret as well. Damn, Pete was really pissed at someone. Who, she wondered?

"...after what he did to Eddie tells me how loyal she really is." Carly narrowed her eyes. Eddie was another name she was unfamiliar with- most likely an old friend, right? And Pete was angry because... this woman he was angry at was with someone that had hurt Eddie, possibly? She frowned, trying to put the pieces together. Because of her reeling mind, she missed a couple more words.

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down." Woah. Pete really had some anger stored inside of him because she'd never heard him this angry (even if they'd only known each other for about a month).

The next words made her heart drop.

"Eddie is dead because of me. Because I got him involved with Vince."

Eddie was dead. That's why Pete must have been acting so odd at dinner- and she had known that glint in his eyes, the way he looked so haunted, just like Julia or Taylor did when they spaced out for too long. And his friend's death must have made him really fucking pissed off, too. And just by listening, Carly was sure she wouldn't want to feel the wrath of a pissed off Pete.

"...don't even .. overdosed.. ... dead.. revenge." Carly gulped. Someone who wanted revenge was not a safe person to be around; she knew that.

Is Pete okay, though?

The call ended after her cousin spoke a few more words, and silence shuttered through the barn. She was about to up and leave, but heard a choked sob.

Shock pulsed through her.

Pete was crying?

That was the news of the century. Just like she'd never seen her cousin truly angry, she'd also never seen or heard him cry- much less sob. Because the soft gasps of air coming from Pete made her heart break and she couldn't help but feel sorrowful for him and his current state. I was wrong to jump on his ass. He isn't doing anything to the family; he's just grieving. Why didn't I see it sooner?

The realization hit her: that's probably why he'd been gone for a day. If he went to the city it was to escape from his emotions... why didn't he tell any of us?

She wondered if Pete even trusted any of them. His mom ripped him away from his family without remorse or consent. Who knows what he saw while he was on the road for more than half his life. I know he didn't learn his skills from being an insurance worker; no one just looks that up on YouTube and masters it immediately. No, he's an expert. He's precise and doesn't fuck up. Maybe he was a private investigator for some big company- I figure not insurance because a knack for pickpocketing wouldn't be on their list...

His cries continued, and she watched as he leaned against the side of the barn, the shadows covering most of his face. But she saw the tears leaking out of his eyes and the way he furiously wiped them away, trying to make them stop... but they just kept coming.

Carly understood. There had been a dark period of her life in which she wanted to know so much about her parents, and the fact that everyone refused to tell her really, really upset her. She remembered crying for hours, just like Pete was now. And that was not a good feeling- especially to be left alone during it.

Before, Carly would've left her cousin alone. After seeing his angry state of mind she hadn't wanted to get on the bad side of him, even if they were family. But now? Now that she'd watched him cry actual tears of sorrow and regret? She wouldn't walk away. Not this time. Not ever again.

So, countering up her bravery, Carly pushed herself to her feet and flanked the edge of the barn, taking in a small intake of breath before pushing the creaky doors open.

Everything went silent in an instant. Pete's sobs cut off on cue and the world felt suddenly.. peaceful. But there was a very depressing vibe in this place and the teen knew exactly why.

"Pete?" she called out hesitantly, the barn too dark for her to actually see any figure.

No response.

"Pete, I know you're in here."

Silence.

"What are you doing, stalking me?" She let out a sigh of relief, but was a bit confused to hear his unwavering, snarky voice. Her eyes flickered to the side and Pete appeared from the shadows, his head slightly turned as to hide his puffy eyes. He really knows how to play it off. But I'm smarter than he thinks.

"No. Yes. Maybe." Carly huffed and examined the male. He glared down at her for a moment and she got the full force of his face; red, bloodshot eyes, a snotty nose, his features seeming sharper in the moonlight. Damn.

"You look like shit," she said casually.

Pete snorted. "Thanks for the compliment."

Carly's face twisted into a look of amusement. "Whatcha doin' in here, Pete? It's, like, one in the morning."

"Nothing. Hanging around. Can't sleep." He furrowed his brows. "Although I feel I should be the one asking you that."

She stiffened. The tables had turned, but she could fend him off. No biggie. "Um, because I can? And I'm not the one crying."

Pete was deathly quiet and she wondered if he was actually going to admit it, even if it was already blatantly obvious. He cleared his throat, but it came out as a guttural whimper. "What? Carly, are you fucking high?"

She found fury bubbling in her chest. If she'd been an animal she would have bared her teeth defensively. "Really? You're gonna play that off as me smoking weed? Come on, Pete, even if I was in the clouds I could still tell you've been a mess in here. Besides, I heard your phone call." He opened his mouth and she stopped him with a hand. "Don't play dumb with me, Pete. I saw. I heard. Eddie? Vince? Marjorie? Please, I'd love for you to fill me in on who they are, as you've never mentioned them before."

Pete looked angry for a moment but his gaze turned neutral. "I'd actually love for you to fill me in on why you're so fucking obsessed with my private life. Personal space, much?"

Carly scoffed. "Oh, I'm sorry for not having my full trust in you after you stole from me."

"You did it first," he countered.

The teen clamped her mouth shut for a moment, her mind raking over something to say. "And you just now come back, over twenty years later? Knowing all this- this manipulative, con stuff, so maybe I'm a little suspicious."

"I already explained to you and the rest of the family why I returned when I did," he said smoothly. "Then again I doubt you were paying attention."

She clenched her fists. "Don't blow this off on me. Even if the rest don't believe me when I tell them-"

Pete whipped to her, a blue, lapping fire burning in the depths of his irises. "Don't fuck with me, Carly. If you knew an ounce of what I said then you wouldn't fucking be so pathetic and selfish."

Hurt sparked in the female's chest, her eyes widening a little at the way he furiously snapped at her. She really hadn't ever seen him this angry. He really is upset. Why do I try and tip him over the edge all the time?

Her lip quivered but she forced herself not to cry. Not right now, not when Pete was hurting more. She refused to be as self-centered as everyone thought she was.

"Fine." Those were the only words that came out of her mouth. Those were the only words that could come out of her mouth. "You should-"

Pete had turned, his face shielded from view. "Go to bed, Carly."

"Pete-"

"Go. To. Bed."

When her cousin turned around Carly expected another annoyed and furious look. But instead his eyes were watering, tears pooling down his cheeks. "Please."

Carly didn't need any more than that.

Stay tuned for part 2 kiddos.

Drop a review maybe? It'd really motivate me and maybe the next part will come out even sooner! Thanks y'all :D